On the last day of the festival, James were wandering around the Lower City, where he felt free, or at least more unrestricted than in the Upper City. The street, he was walking at, was not in a great shape, but he wanted to discover the parts of the city he was not allowed to before. He wanted to taste the food of several cooking stalls famous amongst his fellow students, so he approached one he had heard about.
“Good day to you. May I have some flavoured rodents?”
“Yepp.” Replied the shopkeeper smiling, knowing that he would be given a good sum of money, or at least much more than the original cost of the ingredients. He started to roast the prepared meat, while James was staring at the unique techniques the chef presented. Then he glanced at a mysterious person, probably without any ill intent, who was leaning against the jamb of a shady shop at the off street behind the stall. After the rodent had been roasted, he started to eat it, but his eyes were still fixed on the man and the shop. He was intrigued by the possibility that he might find something interesting, so he approached the place in a careful, yet confident manner.
“Who are you?”
“A potential customer.”
“Are you? Come in then.”
The shop was full of rare relics and books, which were probably illegal.
“Do you have a book about the Cataclysm?” James asked the shopkeeper.
“One. But I think it is just a fantasy. A good fantasy, no more. One of the rarest book.”
“Is that so? How much?”
“One Serenity Token.”
“Suspiciously cheap. Quality books like these might cost a pretty penny.” He thought. “I am interested.” He handed over the token. The shopkeeper did that with the book, which was covered with linen, so that nobody would recognize it. It seemed to be the most ordinary out of the ordinary. “It seems I stumbled across a history book. Some ‘UN’ and commercialists were mentioned, I do not know anything about it though.” He thought as he opened the book, left the shop and returned to his quarters in the school while reading.
Unfortunately for James, the book was found by one of his supervisors after an irregular screening. This part of the school, the quarters, were frequently searched showing no respect to privacy, even to diaries and private storage.
“What is this? Have you gone mad? I found this book under your mattress.”
“So what will happen to me?” James asked anxiously.
Although most of the offspring of the upper class were given some community work, which were tailored to be a slap on the wrist, James could not dream of that luck.
“You have desecrated your school, you shall not come back. From now on you are to serve in the army’s skirmisher party, since we have found a black list book under your mattress.” said the supervisor, disgusted and trembling of having that amount of responsibility at his shoulders and knowing he could have made this incident disappear by burning the book. “I hope you know what that means.”
“That I am dead for sure. I was told that a division is sent out to minimize the amount of damage taken by the main corps. They are the lamb to slaughter as the bots have those guns that paralyze and kill the people. Actually, you did not even tell me what a black list book was and what the list’s contents are to dodge this clusterf...” said James dreadfully, sequentially going grey, almost fainting.
“But we did tell you not to read anything that is not given by us or the state, didn’t we? You were a fool to do otherwise. Now your blood is on your hands.” muttered his superior as he closed the door and locked James in.
“Am I wrong that I want to see more of this world? Am I wrong to doubt? Am I going to die? I wanted to learn to help the people. To stop their suffering. Am I naive? Would they consider changing their lives, if that meant an improvement for others as well? Is everyone doing everything out of instinct? Why wouldn’t they do anything against any wrong? Why do they accept subjugation? I should have accepted everything as it is, not to doubt them. I am nothing but a pebble. I have no value at all, so how could I do anything against the system that only make others suffer? I only wanted to help, to search for better solutions. The past teaches, you learn. This can only make you better, doesn’t it? How can I be better? By accepting something horrible and powerful, or by fighting against the will of the people, if it is for them. Why do I have to be accredited by people who are not able to improve themselves? I don’t understand why I am told to be worthless if I don’t do as others say? Do I have a reason to exist? What is after death? Was I a good person? Who is a good person? The one who accepts and obeys law, or the one who breaks the law to make a better world for others? Well, I am sure I will not have a family and a home. Love? Home? No… What am I to do?” thought James viciously, almost out of his breath, suffocating on his bad decision. His golden eyes were almost crying, his dirty blonde hair was close to be torn out. He reclined his head on his hands and tears rolled down his face.
“I always did everything you asked, showing you the respect you demanded. Your reputation was my main concern, and did everything accordingly. Now you just leave me, crossing your fingers for this situation not to go public, eh?” James cried out, having his quarters tremble before him.
After an hour or two, the supervisor came back. “I returned with the bureaucRat.” He barked at James. Two guards escorted James to his new workplace while the official did the administration.
“Why did I even buy that book? It was cheap and covered in linen, which would mean ’I am not legal’. I am sure I could have found the answer I was searching for, but did I need it? I mean, if I wanted to help, can I only help if I am allowed to help? Isn’t it wrong to see others suffocate, while you do nothing against their certain death?” he saw a womanly figure following the group, but he did not care. “Am I worthless? I was never good at anything. I couldn’t write good stories, I couldn’t calculate anything properly. I wanted to do research, but I wasn’t skilled enough according to the principal. I never had someone to rely on. I don’t think anyone liked me. I have nothing to leave behind. I feel this horrible grasp on my heart that I have never felt before. I do not care about people anymore, how could I if they toss me to die, without any particular reason? Am I afraid of death? Yes, certainly, but that would just make this pain go away, there is nothing wrong with being dead, then.”
Arriving at the building meant new comrades to James, as he expected to meet people with similar qualities and traits. He saw several fellow criminals, amongst whom were one or two older scofflaws, none of them were satisfied with their new profession. All of them stood up as James entered the community room, which demonstrated the ’disciple’ of this skirmisher group. He knew that this burden he acquired was his alone.
“My name is James, happy to meet y’all.” Said the newcomer to the fellow colleagues as his voice was resonating with discomfort and utter exasperation.
The others presented themselves in an orderly manner and could be described as morose or despondent, some responded with a bold and naive introduction.
“I am delighted to know you.” replied a sanguine voice which caused James to shiver unintentionally. “I am Noah.” Stepping out of the shadows of the corner, he exposed his caramel coloured hair and a rather handsome face, showing off a modest scar on his left cheek. Although he still possessed some adolescent features, like not being able to grow facial hair, his posture displayed a substantial amount of confidence, and his gaze was a dignified one.
“A scar? Very strange wound to acquire in the city, as people can hardly have any blades around. An accident? A brawl? I can consider myself a far cry from this guy.” Pondered James as he looked at Noah straight in the eyes to deduce his hidden qualities.
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Then he proceeded to converge on the corner to shake hands with this enigmatic entity. On arrival, he realised that nobody made a fuzz, and no one cared enough to get to know the newcomer, but formalities in the military were sufficient.
“I shouldn’t ask, but why you are alone in the corner? That kinda raises my suspicion towards you, even though I do not really have any prejudices.” James posed the question with a faint of mistrust.
“Cause I might be a budding genius and the others are not. Or they all have their preferences which exclude me. Nobody wants to be a friend with someone who has a stronger personality. Nobody wants to be inferior.” Responded from shadow of the corner with these heedful words apprehending that he was distinctive due to his charisma unprecedented to the youth. Well, he was actually pulling James’ leg.
“I guess they assume you are a weirdo, and they are not very far from.” after a slight moment of silence they both produced a giggle or two.
“I am sure you had these exceptional specimens around you as well. There are way too many.”
“I had a classmate who researched the perfect thickness and absorption ratio of the toilet paper. He made charts, functions and analysed them as well. His solution was four strips, but it depends on the thickness of a piece. Toilet papers aren’t even produced. He was even given some science award by the school, if I remember well.”
“I had one who hated fleas, so he covered himself with an alcohol and lit himself up. He doesn’t have any fleas now, I am sure.”
“The martial art club we had renamed their meetings to meatings, after realizing they just beat each other up while arguing.”
An officer interrupted. “People! It is time to hit the sack. The bull session is over, move out, before I’ll have your noses broken.”
“By no means do I want to insult you sir, but you seem to be in a hurry. Do you have an appointment with unfeminine tart tonight, perhaps?” Someone blurted.
“Should you come to my cell, I’ll happily give you a treatment.” Continued another convict.
At that moment, he burst out and pointed at a random person to come out, whacked their nose and shoved them back to the line. “You will pay for your insolence.” he barked while calling the most recent captive out to take the blame. Hence James was sentenced solitary confinement, even though he did not really commit anything.
As time was passing by the discomfort grew into torment, leeching on his self-consciousness derived from all his wrong-doings from the past.
“The girl at the festival would probably never fall head over heels in love with me, then why did I try to? Am I wrong that I did not get close to anyone? I feel like nobody wanted me. I feel that it wouldn’t worth it. I always saw others look at me differently, or they did not care. I did not want to bother others. When I wanted to befriend someone, they looked the other way, or did not pay attention. How can I build a relationship without a mutual understanding? There is no point. I do not care about others, because of that. My acquaintances formed groups that excluded people, rather than accepting others and befriend everyone. They just used the others, they did not care about them and such. Nobody cared. Is that an excuse? What did I do to them that they did not give me any chance? Is there something wrong with me? Am I ill-humoured, careless, mundane outsider? Do I deserve death? What will be when I die? Nothing. I will die without having anyone to love me. I never had talents, I never had friends. Were I always alone? I learnt that the only thing that matters is me. I was always alone, I never got friends, or such, but I longed for someone, maybe anyone.” murmured James, and stood up, as he heard the tinkling sound of keys outside his cushy architectural miracle.
He was escorted back to his room as his punishment was over.
“Wow, you smell like a pile of shit, to say the least.” Noah greeted James eagerly.
“But this guy… I have never felt this connection.” he thought. “I’ll just throw you some of my guarded treasure, good friends always share.” Responded James sarcastically. “The only bad thing is that I couldn’t jack off in that small place. At least I had some time to think my life over.”
“What have you wondered about? Hope it was not kinky or about me or both.” Asked the confident one smiling.” I am dying to find out....”
“Why on Earth would I think about you?”
“You had quite some time in that latrine. Don’t you want to talk about it? It makes me suspicious…”
“Alright, but do not forget that curiosity killed the cat. I was recalling lots of mistakes, one of which happened during the Adequacy Festival.”
“Let me hear it.”
“Why would I tell you?”
“Why not?”
“Eeh. Alright, I think it will be better for me to open up. After spending almost a day in that shithole, I was wondering about a gal .She was very appealing by appearance, but I missed the chance to talk to her. ”
“Was that a mistake?”
“Definitely.”
“Wasn’t that because you are … different?”
“I didn’t really get you this time.” said James not being able to realise that he was called a queer. Then he answered a sudden “NO.” Furiously, almost fainting of the anger he felt. “I am not! Why do you care about my sexual orientation!?”
“I was thinking of you not having been with a girl. I am not into that actually. I am what people call an asexual.” responded Noah with an indifferent look.
“Whatever you freak. What I wanted to say is that I was going towards her and she just disappeared. I was at the Upper city next to the road that leads to the Grey Palace. She had grey eyes and brown hair.”
“So it was you? My sister told me about a jerk checking her out, then advancing towards her. She thought she might be dragged to an orgy. A strange coincident indeed. Her name is Mia. I think she was going to the butcher at that time.”
“Mia.” muttered James. “I would not comprehend that she is your sister, since her similarity to you is almost non-existent.”
“Sister-in-arms.” said the sexually uninterested chap almost inaudibly and enigmatically.
Suddenly, a high ranking military personnel dashed in and started screeching at the corridor, where the cells were located. The convicts stood up to honour his presence, even though he was the one to be responsible for sending them to their deaths. His titanium plate was glittering in the vicinity of a small window, under which was some black polymer clothes with several hexagonal medallions that represented his exceptional status in the military leadership.
“This is your last day here. Tomorrow we go to war. Sleep.” Then he just left.
Several hours after sunset, James couldn’t help taking notice of some hurrying footsteps followed by some mild tinkling, which couldn’t be compared to the noises the guards made.
“A rudimentary lock, indeed. Why did you need me to do this? Couldn’t you just escape by yourself?” whispered a mysterious stranger next to James’ cell. He deduced that it was coming from the entrance of Noah’s manor of excellence.
“Graham announced that they are moving out, so I have to report on his policy. I need your help with James. He cannot come with us, but we could escort him out of this comfort incarnate.” Responded the prisoner, who was indeed Noah.
“I don’t care about your affairs, Noah, the plan only included rescuing you, and you alone.” Protested the stranger. Subsequently, a tick echoed through the hallway.
“Remember the incident at the Upper City Butchery?” replied the recently freed captive vigorously and smiling shrewdly.
“Alright. But you escort him, you bash him in the head, you carry and dump him in the forest.”
“Understood.” Sighed Noah. He stepped out of the cell afterwards.
James was dismayed at the conversation, but tried be as quiet as a lamb. Despite his controversial feelings, he chose to feign his slumber so that the other two would not realise his eavesdrop. Trying to control his despair he felt as a result of being close to treason and execution or being bashed in the head and then be left alone in the woods, he felt tremendous amount of dubious emotions. He could not comprehend the fact that he was not able to go with them, and yet he felt a faint of distrust towards his only friend. Although he tried to endure the weight of capital punishment, a glimmer of hope was still there right in his mind. There was no absolute solution for this as others made the decision instead of him, crippling his other opportunities.
Upon hearing the tick of the lock, he got up simulating fatigue, like he was never aware of their discussion and never heard to be whacked in the face.
“So what is happening? Will you introduce me to your feminine comrade Noah, or you have forgotten your manners?” asked James mockingly with a weary intonation.
She stepped out of the shadows proving to be truly a woman. Vale was about the same age as Noah, she also had a scar at her right cheek coming right from the upper lateral cartilage to the side of her face. It was a bit longer and about the same width as his, but not as unpleasant in quality giving its bearer unwonted attractiveness. Her sky blue eyes reflected a lock of hair, which fled form the black bun she had tied with a rope. Her outfit was accustomed to her ectomorph body. James could not see any deformation on her clothes, therefore deducing a small breast and a bony waist.
“We have no time for introduction, should be moving by now.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Of course he was not sure about it, but being killed was not attractive at all.
“Come with us then.”
James nodded. They kept a fast pace due to the amount of time they lost, although almost all the guards were sleeping. Two of them were at the entrance and one were put to each possible exit, except for the one that the leadership had not found yet. Having had no encounters, they arrived at the storage facility, which secretly lead to the catacombs. Its end was some hundreds of metres away from the barracks, offering a safe escape route. It was not very pleasant though. Being crammed with skeletons and outdated equipment, it took a long time to leave the place. Dawn came, bringing bad news to the guards and officers responsible for the Skirmisher Branch of the army. They vanished.
“The abominable stench of the marsh is almost unbearable. I cannot see too far either.” thought James after getting out of the tunnels. He felt the same desperation seeing the inhospitable conditions of this territory filled with artificial smoke.
Then everything went black.