Evay Maver:The first thing I saw when I woke up was a giant peacock staring down at me with its piercing, black eyes. I let out a little yelp and scurried away from the bird. It kept staring at me as I looked upon its beautiful and grand spread of feathers. The peacock looked exactly like all the other ones I had seen in nature—expect everything about it was just a hundred times better. The peacock was way bigger than any other normal peacock I had ever seen before, and it displayed a beautiful array of crystal black and shining golden feathers—with ivory white spots scattered throughout its plumage. Its claws seemed to be made of pure gold, while its beak seemed to be made of pure, black obsidian. I steadied my breath and took my gaze off of the peacock. Whenever I was, it definitely didn’t seem to be anywhere on Earth… I was in some kind of garden, surrounded by beautiful and lush grass. Tall and velvety purple flowers as well as vibrant blue lilies surrounded me. Perfectly trimmed bushes were scattered around me, and Ivory fountains containing perfectly clear, flowing water were scattered around the garden. The bases of the fountains were embedded with various precious ores—some of which probably didn’t exist in the real world. The peacock came up to me and gave me a gentle nudge towards one of the fountains. I looked at its dark, crystal eyes and decided that it was best to do what it wanted me to do. I stood up and walked towards the fountain. I passed gentle ponds of perfectly blue water and strange little trees with different colored leaves and branches. I finally reached the fountain and peered into its crystal waters. I saw my reflection looking back at me and I instantly cringed. My hair was messy, ragged, and dirty, and cuts and bruises were scattered everywhere on my face. I looked like I had been pulled out of the grave and put into some type of magical garden by someone who got really sick of looking at me…

The peacock made its way over to me and looked directly into my eyes. He lifted up his leg, pointed it at me, and then pointed towards the water. I looked at it with a confused stare and it seemed to roll its eyes at me. He shook his head and walked away as if he had something better to do. Did I just get mocked by a fancy chicken? I watched it walk off and looked towards the water. I think he wants me to do something with the water? I put my hand in the fountain and the perfectly cool water suddenly energized me. The water seemed to seep life into my very veins as all the soreness, pain, and fatigue in my body seemed to disappear. I dipped my whole hand in the water, then both of my hands, then I cupped the water and started to pour it onto my face. I drank the crisp, cool, water and dunked my head into the fountain. I wanted it all, I wanted more of the water. The magical fountain of water lured me in as I felt every single bit of pain, soreness, sickness, doubt, misery, and worry wash away in the water. Under the water everything seemed to just go away. All of my physical pain and suffering and anxiety disappeared as the loud and reckless world faded away under the surface. I could stay here, forever, I won’t have to come up, I’ll just stay here and things will be quiet, forever… I felt my vision start to go blurry and my body start to go limp. Was I downing? Whatever, I don't really care..I don’t want to leave here…It’s so nice here…Nothing will bother me again here..

I felt a hand grab me by the shirt and pull me out of the water. I was tossed onto the soft grass as I landed with a thud. I instantly got to my feet and then fell immediately back onto my knees. I gasped for air as I coughed up immense amounts of water onto the grass. The sound of my immense panting drowned out the peaceful quietness of the garden as a man stretched out his hand. The familiar ivory robes and golden eyes gave away who he was in an instant. I looked at him with an incredulous gaze as a million different things ran through my head. “Heim! What are you…why am I…what is all of this?”

Heim laughed and brought me to my feet. “Did you immerse yourself in my fountain?” I stopped sputtering questions and nodded in silence. He let out a loud, hearty laugh. “You're not the first moral to have done so. That fountain is called the Fountain of Youth. Yes, yes, yes…it is the same one you humans describe in your myths. This is the original fountain of youth. It does not make you younger per say, but it makes all your pains go away. It erases your physical pains and your emotional regrets. Perhaps you humans are right with your labels, I suppose erasing those things will make you younger—those things are what truly ages you humans after all. Anyways, many men have found it and drowned themselves in it, seeking to be cured of all their troubles.” I stared blankly at the fountain as more questions ran through my head. Hiem continued to speak. “The fountain has a stronger effect on those who have suffered the greatest. The happiest man in your world could drink from that fountain, or bathe in it, and never lose himself. To him, that water would be the same as any other water that he has ever consumed. There has never been a human without pain or regret and so no human has ever been resistant to the effects of that fountain.”

I kept staring blankly into the fountain as my expression, which was just as blank, stared back at me. I finally spoke, “Heim. Do you believe in us?” The golden peacock, which had just tried to kill me, appeared next to Heim and nuzzled its head against his side. Heim smiled and affectionately pet the peacock as he talked to me.

“That’s quite a silly question, child. The fact that you and I are even talking at this moment is a sign that I do believe in you.” I replied quickly,

“Yeah but that’s not my question. I asked if you believe in us, humanity.” He stopped petting the peacock and he summoned a bright, cherry-red fig out of thin air. He tossed the fig onto the grass and the peacock ran towards it.

“Humanity has always been a sore subject in the presence of all the symbols. It has always been our belief that we created you and for a long time that was your belief as well. But collectively we all realized something–we can not exist without you. All of us are symbols of the ideals you humans express and create. It therefore beckons the question, who is truly dependent on whom.” Heim sat down in the grass and I sat next to him, watching his golden peacock gently pinch at the fig sitting idly in the grass. “Most of my brethren absolutely detest this topic of discussion since they can not seem to fathom being reliant on anything–much less humanity. Listen closely, child, humanity is still far beneath the symbols. We are still in your eyes, gods. However, something that has been bothering us is that some of you are getting dangerously close in terms of strength.” I stared at him in confusion and spoke.

“Close? As in, close to the power of you? A symbol? Who? I don’t know anyone who can come close to that…Whenever you take over in Gold’s Veil you can beat almost anyone.” Hiem chuckled softly and replied in a clam and soothing voice.

“Yes, I find it amusing you named your transformation. I quite like it.” I blushed a little as I had never told anyone besides Geon that I called it Gold’s Veil. It seemed a little childish, but I guess I had the approval of a symbol..

“To answer your questions, yes. There are two men of humanity that are dangerously close to being at the level of the gods. Varun Batara is the first one. You might be familiar with him, he is your leader after all.” I nodded. To be honest I wasn’t sure if I was surprised or relieved. I knew that Emperor Batara was strong, but not that strong….At least he was on our side though…that made me feel a little better.

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“Who’s the second?” Heim wrinkled his nose.

“A thug and vermin who’s name I didn’t even bother to remember. I believe it was Teras of house something. Your leader might be a human who dares to try and reach the level of the gods, but I can excuse his behavior. He is a grand leader who displays his wealth and power through noble methods. This other man is rather….detestable. A low vermin, a “butcher,” as you humans say. I can’t stand that creature.” I watched as he started to walk towards the edge of the garden. I got up and followed him.

“So do you hate humanity even more now? Since we have strong people?” After some thinking he replied.

“Humanity is not something that could bother us that deeply, however, I see something in humanity that the others do not. You are resilient and delusional to the point where your will to achieve your goals exceeds any other creature on this planet. Your ability to grow and improve also fascinates me. Symbols can not grow or improve their abilities. We are born a certain way and we stay that way forever, but not you humans.” He led me to the edge of the garden which rested above a vast blue expanse of sky. I instinctively stumbled back as my heart skipped a beat.

“Where are we? Are we in the air? Hiem…Heim! What happened to everyone…It’s–it’s all starting to come back…The stadium…the people….wait…..fuck, fuck, fuck….wait..wait ! Those people….I killed those people didn’t I? I killed them. I killed..” I felt a sickness rise from the very bottom of my soul into my throat. I keeled over the edge of the floating garden-island and vomited into the deep-blue expanse. I felt panic and fear penetrate every fiber of my being as I began to shake. I was a murder. Children, women, men, old, young, all of them were squashed or burned alive that day. A stadium with over half a million people was…..gone. I killed them, I killed them, I killed them, I kill–

“Gather yourself boy,” Hiem’s voice came out in an uncharacteristically commanding and assertive tone. The bright blue expanse began to fill with gray clouds and I heard thunder rumble in the distance as my body seemingly froze on instinct. He kept speaking.

“Your body could not handle anymore of my power. It outright rejected me being the host of your being due to the fact that my power was literally eating you alive. You see, blessings are–like I said in the past–a process where I transfer little fragments of my soul into your own body. Effectively, I am putting more and more of my being into you. However, this process is usually done between symbols, not humans and symbols. What we are doing has never been done before, there are bound to be some errors.” I snapped out of my frozen and fearful state as my blood ignited into a red-hot boil. I rose up and grabbed the collar of Hiem’s robes.

“A FUCKING ERROR! AN ERROR! I KILLED HALF A MILLION PEOPLE AND YOU CALL THAT AN ERROR!” His eyes were unaffected by my rage and he kept staring into my soul with a clam, cool look. It made me even madder. “I killed so many people……You could have finished him..You could have killed Yudra with a flick of your wrist. Why didn’t you…Why did you have to draw it out. You’re a god right? Can’t you tell! Can’t you tell whenever I’m about to spontaneously combust into a golden-fucking-explosion? HUH? CAN YOU, OH GREAT FUCKING SYMBOL!” Tears streamed down my eyes and my chest rose as my breathing raged out of control. He responded in a clam tone,

“I needed to test the limits of your body. Your body simply could not take the power of my soul and so it expelled it. All of my power contained within your body exploded out. It vaporized your own body and everything around it. Child, not only was that arena vaporized, almost everything in a sizable radius around it was as well.” All the rage and hate flooded out of my body as a feeling of heavy defeat and depression crept up into my body. I fell to my knees and tears streamed out of my eyes. Cries of pain exited my body as I slammed the ground with both of my fists. Why? I never wanted this. I never asked for this. How could I end up with this? I was a peasant, nothing more than a bug. How could I kill thousands of people?

Hiem spoke again. “As of now child, you are officially dead. Your body was instantly smited into dust. Your friends on the other hand, are worse for wear, but are alive. Your quick thinking at the end was enough to save them. But you are no more.” I looked up at him as my heart somehow sank even lower.

“I’m–I’m dead…I don’t want to be dead….Hiem…I–I don’t want to die.” He looked at me with a mixture of pity and sadness.

“You are dead. There is nothing you can do about that unless you are willing to sacrifice something very important.” I listened closely. “Your body has been vaporized. Right now, your soul is in the realm of the symbols, not many human souls get chosen to come here. Most go to the afterlife, only those with true pure souls, or a completely peaceful life can ever come here. Sometimes symbols themselves can cheat certain souls in–like I have done with you. Right now you are not your physical self, but a manifestation of your soul. You can choose to stay with me in this realm forever, or you can go back to Earth on one condition.”

“What condition?”

“I told you before, how fragments of my soul have been inserted into your own body. While your body may have been vaporized, the fragments of my soul–which were combined into your soul–are completely fine. Small fragment of this hybrid soul still lingers in the human world. If you wish, I can rebuild your body with that soul.” My heart somehow, again, sank even lower than before and I fearfully asked Hiem a dreadful question.

“If my soul is gone, and you rebuild me with those soul fragments I won’t have a full soul. What will that do?” Heim sighed.

“When transferring souls from one figure to another, it isn’t exactly how you think it will be. When my soul fragments enter your body it isn’t mine or yours anymore–it is our soul. That fragment of a soul I transferred into you is now a shared soul. A shared soul is extremely powerful as it holds the memories, emotions, and characteristics of both the soul giver and the soul bearer. Eventually, when the soul giver transfers all of his or her soul, that shared soul will consume the soul bearer’s original soul. They will have one shared soul with all its power. This is what will happen to you if you go back, except that your shared soul will be fragmented. Furthermore, you will have no original soul for your shared soul to absorb. Therefore I do not clearly know what any of this will do to you. We’re essentially building yourself a new soul. This is exactly why I tell you that going back is a risk. So, what will your choice be?” I looked out into the expanse. I would return as a killer, a murderer, and a loser. We had lost, my liquor screen had shattered before Yudra’s. Was there even a point in me returning? At the same time I didn’t want to die. I wanted to see everyone again. I wanted to be with them. But at the same time, if I went back right now nothing would change. I still wouldn’t be able to use this power without exploding and I would just repeat this cycle all over again. I looked at Hiem and straightened myself up.

“Hiem, can I train myself? Can I train my body in order to better hold your power? I don’t see how I could but I don’t know, nothing really makes sense to me anymore.” He smiled and beckoned me back towards the inside of the garden.

“No, that is impossible, but when I reconstruct your body I can do you some favors.” He winked at me. I gulped and braced myself.

“Hiem!” He turned around and gave me a cool smile.

“Yes?”

“I want to go back to everyone.”

He chuckled softly as his peacock came running to his side. “Very well, child. I wish you well and remember,” he gave me a wink, “do not forget who you are.” He stretched out his hand and tensed his body. I felt an immense force grip my soul and the world started to spin. Everything fell into darkness and reality itself twisted and turned as I struggled to perceive anything. Cold wind ripped away at my nonexistent body as I tumbled through existential darkness until I felt a cold rush enter into my body.

I felt warm, soft sheets materialize beneath my body and I slowly opened my eyes. I was in the middle of a dorm room, my dorm room. I looked down at my body and almost let out a giant scream. Everything was slightly upgraded, not by much, but I had gone from a decently athletic looking kid to an athletic kid. My muscles were more toned, I looked more lean, and I had grown slightly taller. My body felt stronger–it was as if a golden buzz was humming through me at all times. I felt the warm fuzzy blankets and fresh air hit my face. I was alive.