Autumn 4997, 6 Midomoth

Lily thought she might actually know what it felt like to be a piece of food. Chewed up and swallowed, digested, and sucked dry before being squeezed out. And it had all happened in the space of a few seconds.

The last thing she felt was stone hands wrenching her off the only solid thing left in the world and tossing her aside. Then she floated, feeling nothing at all.

Blinking through the memory of pain, Lily saw... colors. All the colors, swirling and fading from one to another as a backdrop to an endless sea of stars. Lily reached up to rub her eyes, sure it must be a mistake, and was relieved to feel her hands touching her skin. She'd always assumed that the outer planes would look like the Warlock gates, like a dark night, not all this color...

But when she looked again nothing had changed, except that she'd turned enough in the floating abyss of color to see Yonin. The Warlock was curled into a ball above the bit of land they'd brought with them, sobbing and begging, "My great lord Ryuugen. Please! We aren't done! Your will has yet to be made manifest! Please!" She still had a handful of small, partially healed cracks along her arms and face and Lily grinned as they seeped gray blood to float in goblets, like oil in water, in the still space around them.

Lily chuckled to herself, spinning slowly in place and looking down to study her hands. She clapped them together and felt the strike, but then flapped them as if to fan herself and felt no air. She swung her arms as fast as she could back and forth but felt nothing. As an experiment, she took in a deep breath, and felt her lungs expand, though nothing passed through her nose. She held the breath, and continued to slowly turn, ignoring the continued pleading of the Warlock until she faced Yonin again, upsidedown. She hadn't realized she'd been flipping as well as turning. Her lungs didn't burn. She didn't need to breathe...

Lily tried to force herself right side up, though the only gauge of what was up and what was down was the Warlock, who was also turning in place as she flailed and cried.

"Oh shut up!" Lily snapped at Yonin and the Warlock finally looked up.

Her black eyes wide, she snarled at Lily, "You! What have you done!?"

Lily shrugged, "Defeated you apparently." and thus rendered In'nin unable to heal as well. The others would be able to kill him now too.

"How dare you!" Yonin cried, her voice cracking as she tried to dive for Lily only to flip head over heels in the empty space.

A growl sounded as if in Lily's mind, deeper than the deepest ocean. It sent a shiver up Lily's spine and stole her response from her lips.

The colors around them moved, and behind Yonin opened an eye larger than anything Lily had seen in all her years exploring. The colors continued to move, unfolding to reveal the expected darkness beyond. Somewhere in the back of Lily's awestruck mind, she realized they hadn't been floating in a sea of color, they had been surrounded by this... being, larger than the world itself.

"Master!" Yonin called to the being, but Lily could barely register the sound, rendered deaf and dumb by the presence of this creature. Her mind couldn't comprehend the size of the dragon, it seemed both far away and close enough to touch all at once.

Ryuugen stretched its wings, blocking the darkness and stars beyond, and snarled down at its servant, its voice sounding in Lily's mind, "I leave your fate to my children..."

It folded its wings along its back and from the darkness beyond flew a second dragon, minuscule by comparison and yet still large enough that each of its exposed teeth was twice as long as the Warlock was tall. Compared to the blackness beyond, its scales were purple. Dark amethyst...

"Inryuu..." Lily breathed, "Alive?" she trembled before the terrible majesty of the dragon god as she twisted above them and dove straight down, mouth wide.

Lily was flung away from the dragon as its terrible maw encompassed Yonin. So huge was the beast that Lily's befuddled mind couldn't count the time it took for the god to pass her as it continued to sore downward, away from her and Ryuugen, having consumed the Warlock in a single swallow. Assuming she had even bothered to swallow.

"My daughter has decided then..." Ryuugen spoke into the void, into Lily. Then it turned its swirling eyes towards her.

It was a good thing she didn't need to breathe because Lily wouldn't have been able to if she tried. Proud, arrogant, Lily, afraid of nothing but the death of those she loved, cowered in fear and awe.

Ryuugen snaked its head closer to her, but as it did it shrank, growing smaller and smaller until a pseudodragon hovered before her, still studying her with eyes that held the universe in their depths, "My granddaughter, why do you maintain that form?"

Now that Ryuugen was a size she could comprehend, Lily swallowed, asking, "Form?"

Ryuugen hissed, the sound making Lily clap her hands over her ears, though the noise was in her mind, vibrating her bones. "They stole it! They took your true form!" it screamed, making Lily whimper in pain at the primordial being's rage.

A moment later, it seemed to calm, though Lily continued to shake as the little dragon swooped closer, close enough to reach out one small claw and touch her head, saying, "I return it to you now..."

Lily gasped, then began to stretch, the scales on her left hand spread to cover her fingers which elongated, her nails growing into golden-taloned claws as she swelled. Her body shifted in shape and size, her face elongating into a muzzle and wings sprouting from her back. Her neck, now long and serpentine, snaked around to see a new tail lashing in her distress, covered in ruby scales with a golden ridge along its spine. Her wings too were both colors, with gold webbing between ruby fingers.

Lily roared, fire flooding from between her sword-sized teeth. She felt free, felt right! And yet somehow wrong... This wasn't the body Lily knew, the one she'd lived her entire life in, the one that could swing her staff and hold Shon...

But it was her... her true form. A dragon of both red and gold.

"Beautiful," Ryuugen thought to her, "You are more like me than your predecessors could ever be. Equal parts In and Yo, but all fire, no wind, water, earth, or ice..."

Lily whined, and the sound came out like a croon, she thought, and yet the sound seemed to come out as spoken words, "This isn't me..."

Ryuugen growled, "This is your true form, and now that it is returned, you can take any shape you desire."

Lily latched onto that, "How?!" she bellowed in a draconic roar.

Ryuugen, still in his pseudodragon form, flew up to her eye and hovered in place there, "Imagine it. Will it. Your body and magic are yours to command." then it continued in an angry growl as if to itself, "If dragons had continued you would have been taught..."

Lily closed her eyes and felt her new body. Clenching every muscle then relaxing them one at a time, she compared it to how her human body had felt. She knew that body better and imagined she was that body again, going through the relaxation exercises Master Velona had taught her, starting at the top of her head and working all the way down to her toes.

She felt her ki tingle in her skin and scales, and held that feeling through the shifting and shrinking until she could open her eyes again to see Ryuugen studying her, still small, but not as tiny as it was compared to her dragon self. "You have been too long a human..."

"Shon's human," Lily tried to explain, feeling somehow guilty before Ryuugen, "he can hold me in this form."

Ryuugen hissed, though not as violently as before, "Him. Human. And yet not..." It turned its head to the side, and Lily followed its gaze to see Inryuu flying circles around another dragon in the distance. Yoryuu, his platinum scales shining, though there was no light besides the distant specks of stars they could reflect. His eyes were closed and he crouched, tense, as if in concentration.

Ryuugen shook its head, turning back to face Lily, "You may have damned him. The tether is weakened with only four ties..."

The fear his words caused was enough to banish Lily's awe of the primordial dragon and she reached out to grasp Ryuugen as she might Ryuuko, "What tether? What did I do!?"

"You came here..." Ryuugen answered calmly, perching in her trembling palms and tilting its head at her, "You are in the outer planes, with me and my children. Only your existence in the material plane, as their descendants, allowed my children to reach across the gap to that plane. Here they work to build a temple, outside of space and time, and through that tether, they planned to force it through to the material plane, so that they might use it to pass through themselves and return to the heavenly planes. Restoring the balance."

It cocked its head to the other side, "If they cannot do it now, with only four of the elements, then I will recreate the world. Rip through the heavenly planes, to destroy what it is now and create what it once was. Without the scourge that is humanity..."

"No!" Lily shouted, shaking the little dragon, the god of gods.

Before she could argue further, demand that Ryuugen somehow send her back, it continued in a hiss, "And what would you have me do, little dragon? Let the world's magic wither and die? Allow this creation of my children, and of the children of Etoile, to fade to a world without magic, without connection to its gods? In an effort to survive, the humans will fight over what is left of Cathbad's gifts until they destroy themselves."

"You don't know-" Lily tried to argue.

"I know!" Ryuugen bellowed in her mind, making her drop the dragon and clutch her head again, "I know that without my children, magic will leave the world. I know that without magic there will be no Mages whose spells and devices allow for the cultivation of Cathbad's gifts. I know too that without magic in the world even the Clerics and Paladins will lose their bond to their gods, and thus their ability to heal. The people will die of wounds and infections that were previously prevented by the children's blessings. Whether by my claw or not, the world will die."

And she saw it, saw the bright shining world grow dim, saw the people starving, fighting each other and struggling to grow what they could, spreading like a plague over the still dangerous but beautiful wilds to try and take what they could from it. To survive without magic. "No..." Lily whined, doubling over and squeezing her eyes shut. She'd wanted answers, but this was too much. If she could fall to her knees she would have. "I have to go back... please. I'll stop it."

"You are safe here... forever in the outer planes..."

***

Through the mirror in the Warlock library, Rose watched the final fight between the Nins and the kingdom team. Watched as Lily wrapped her arms around Yonin and placed one bag of holding into another.

"NO!" Rose roared at the mirror over the others' screams and gasps of horror. Grasping the sides of the glass she shook it on its stand, "Lily you FOOL!"

"We're doomed," Patrich breathed, falling to the ground in a sobbing heap.

"We have to try... try to make another..." Elen stuttered, her wide eyes darting around at all the books as if trying to search out the tome that would teach them how they'd made the dragons the first time.

Only Tolinar seemed unbothered. He pet his fat chicken, frantic from the other's extreme reactions, "Maybe we have enough artifacts left, maybe enough lives." and Rose was horrified to see him shrug. He continued, "maybe she will return."

From the floor, Patrich moaned, "There is no return from the outer planes..."

Tolinar giggled, and Rose grabbed him by the face, forcing his mad eyes to focus on her, "How Tolinar!? How?!"

And suddenly he didn't seem so mad, "We pass through there all the time, Waterwyrm. Even if it's just the size of a doorway." A gate... He nodded towards the mirror, as best he could with Rose's hands still on his face, "Watch, maybe she will find a way back."

***

Lily shook her head violently, not looking up at the dragon, "I don't want to be safe. I don't want to exist without them," Without him... she thought.

"You would return to risk death for those that would see you slain? Your species extinct?"

"Yes." Lily sobbed, finally looking up at Ryuugen's curiously cocked head, "I want to return. To... to save your creation..."

The being, so vast and far-seeing that it couldn't even comprehend her minuscule concerns over her loved ones might at least listen to its own desires. And for the first time, Lily realized that it was her desire as well. Not only to save her treasures but to save the world itself. Even without Shon, Velona, and all the others, she had to make sure this dismal future didn't come to pass.

Ryuugen looked away from her, twisting its long neck around to stare at the stars in the distance, "Perhaps there is a way... if you can convince one of them."

"Who?" Lily begged, then looked around at Yoryuu, still crouched in concentration, "The gods?" she would swear herself to them if that's what it took.

But Ryuugen just turned back to her, its swirling eyes piercing her soul as he said, "No." Then he continued as if he'd read her mind, "Your nature prevents you from swearing to one over the other and their nature prevents you from swearing to both." Lily flinched, but Ryuugen continued, "It will cost far more than subservience. And you won't be the one to pay its price..."

Lily was so focused on Ryuugen that she didn't see one of the stars growing brighter as it drew closer until the origin of the dragon gods turned away from her and she followed its gaze. What she'd thought was a star was really a human-sized ball of light that floated closer to Lily until she could reach out and touch it with the tips of her fingers. When she did, it transformed, shifting and condensing into the nearly transparent form of a robed woman. A woman Lily recognized.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

She hissed angrily, and Shaloon flinched at the sound. Leveling sad, tired eyes, brown eyes... at Lily, she started, "Fire-" then the Warlock who had tormented Lily most, who she had killed, swallowed, her voice barely a whisper, "Lily..."

"What is this?" Lily demanded of Ryuugen, "I killed her! She should be suffering in the Heavenly planes. She should-"

"Her soul was tied here, to me." Ryuugen explained calmly.

Shaloon licked her lips, "And I remember... my madness was physical, gone with my body..." she grabbed her hair, pulling it as if the pain she might cause herself could banish the pain in her heart and soul, "I remember everything, the before and the after, the sorcerers, the children..."

Lily hissed, thinking of Swailand, "As well you should!"

"She can return you to the material plane," Ryuugen said, unbothered by neither Shaloon's distress nor Lily's anger, "but she must choose to pay the price,"

"Master..." Shaloon breathed, her hands going limp. Her hair a tangled mess about her face, she stared at the little dragon, then at Lily before comprehension seemed to dawn in her eyes.

Lily could only wish she understood too, and was just about to demand answers when Shaloon held her hand out to the side and summoned a transparent black blade. Once again Lily hissed, trying futilely in the lack of gravity to jump away from the Warlock and just as futilely reaching for her staff. It hadn't come with her. Instead, Lily tried to burn the woman again, but nothing happened. Her magic didn't work here apparently.

Feeling exposed, Lily growled, lifting her hands to fight that way, but was shocked speechless as Shaloon grabbed Lily's hand and forced the sword hilt into it.

"You know the cost?" Ryuugen asked into the silence between the two women.

"I'll pay any price..." Shaloon said, though if to Lily, Ryuugen, or herself, Lily couldn't tell. She met Lily's shocked eyes, unblinking, "... to save the world and its magic. Its Sorcerers."

Their hands locked together over the sword, Shaloon pulled herself closer to Lily. Wrapping herself around the stunned dragon and lifting the weapon, she started to draw a circle in the space before them.

Lily flinched, though not only at the strangely intimate touch. She felt her skin tingle with power where Shaloon pressed into her, then felt that power travel down her body into the sword.

The black blade lost its transparency as the power filled it, and Lily saw... and knew...

A mansion filled with laughing teens. Sorcerers being properly trained for their clearance. A woman like Shaloon and yet not, with sealing tattoos on her face. Her sister. A storm... A magical tornado destroying the mansion and leaving Shaloon alive but broken. The Nin's coming to her, claiming they could stop the storms if only they could bring back the dragons... and so so many more visions. Memories not her own. Lily saw as Shaloon transformed from an accomplished, and compassionate, young Mage into a mad Warlock Archmage. Her knowledge of Sorcerers and their nature twisted to be used for a singular goal until even that lost its meaning and became all-consuming.

Tears flowed freely down Lily's cheeks as Shaloon herself flowed into Lily's body and out her hand to fill the sword that cut the space before her. As it cut each inch of the circle the blade started to disappear, from the tip down to the handle.

Once completed, Lily was forced to shield her eyes from the light now flowing from the gate. Blinking past tears, Lily saw the Central Talon garden, black splotches marring the long grass, and many branches ripped from the great oak. The team was there, their backs to her, all of them running to a puddle of scarlet at which Sir Tristen knelt, his hands on a figure...

"Shon!" hand still gripping the bladeless hilt, Lily dove through the gate that had cost Shaloon her soul, her very existence.

***

Rose was still holding Tolinar's face as she turned to see the Warlock gate form. And had barely managed to mouth the word, "Who..." before she gasped as Lily fell through it. The fire dragon managed one stumbling step towards the kingdom team, huddled around one fallen member, before she collapsed, unmoving in the grass, the gate dissolving into ash behind her.

"Open a gate!" Rose screamed at the Warlocks around her as Tolinar giggled.

Patrich, still on his knees, summoned his black halberd and cut a portal. Rose saw it appear in the mirror and, spinning, dove through it to Lily's side.

Lily wasn't moving... was she breathing? Rose rested her fingers on too-cold lips and felt the slight breeze of very shallow breath. A whistle sounded above the desperate oblivious pleading of the kingdom team on the other side of the garden, and Rose looked up in shock. Through a small hole in the wall, the one Lily had forced herself through, some fool shot a crossbow bolt into Rose's gate.

Patrich screamed and the gate crumbled into ash.

Rose roared in rage, her vision beginning to cloud black at the edges. She stood, intending to drown the kingdom armies in the tunnels in her fury when a voice shouted behind her, "Staff Sergeant, apprehend the Wyrms, NOW!"

Sir Tristen, Paladin of Saint Giorgos, with Lily's mate dying before him, gave the command his oath demanded.

***

"Finally..." Shon whispered into the falling snow.

He came aware of himself standing in the all too familiar courtyard of Hamerfoss, thick snow sticking, unmelting, to his upturned face. Shon didn't need to look down to know that the man in white would be there, he always was, and said, "I suppose you want to get one more kick in before it's too late..."

The man didn't answer, but rather than look for him, Shon lowered his eyes just enough to scan the fortress wall, stopping briefly on the gate. The land beyond was glowing golden and he knew without needing to ask that it led to the true beyond... the heavenly planes. Death, rest, and answers.

A tired voice spoke as if from far away, "You have a choice..." and finally Shon looked around for the man in white. He found the man kneeling in the snow before a body, Shon's body. Two thin tendrils of light flowed from where the man rested his hand on the body, one leading to Shon's chest, the other to a little dragon floating through the air, cradled in the ghostly arms of an indistinct person running for the body. A third ribbon of light tied Shon's chest to Ryuuko, creating a triangle around the man in white.

More ghostly forms swarmed around the body, causing the falling snow to swirl unnaturally. The man sighed, "Your friends are trying to save you..."

And Shon heard them as whispers echoing around him,

Tristen, "Help me!"

Alena, "Os, my bag!"

Ebonwing, "Oh, gods..."

Ranito, "Stay with us Sorcerer!"

Oswall, "There's too much! I can't tell what's flesh and what's wound!"

The voices faded, replaced once more by the stillness of the falling snow and sigh of the man in white, "... but only you can choose to return. Choose to live."

"Choose?" Shon breathed, watching with wide eyes as the figure carrying Ryuuko laid the little dragon beside the body's head. Shon looked away.

He squeezed his eyes shut, "I chose when I took the blow meant for Tristen..." Shon didn't want this choice. It would be an honorable death, the Paladin would live to continue the fight to save the world, and in return, Shon would finally get his answers, and his rest, in the heavenly planes.

***

Oswall watched as first Tristen's, then Alena and Ebonwing's hands were soaked in Shon's blood, flowing freely from hundreds of wounds, some life-threatening on their own. Together...

His hands shook as Os took out Alena's healing kit, spilling its contents into the mud. Ranito came to his side, taking one of the red flasks and forcing it to Shon's lips, practically screaming, "Stay with us Sorcerer!"

Oswall forced his fingers to calm, grabbing the salve then dropping it again as he ripped Shon's shirt open to better show the mass of cuts across his chest and ribs. "There's too much! I can't tell what's flesh and what's wound!" How by all the gods was he going to spread the salve without peeling the torn and tattered skin from Shon's body... And Os knew there were more on his back and legs. Os looked down at the suddenly puny can of salve, doubting there was enough in all the storerooms of the Church of Soleil to cover so much...

"Focus, Os!" Ranito snapped at him, snatching up another red bottle and forcing the contents into Shon's slack mouth.

"It's too much!" Ebonwing wailed, though her hands continued to glow, the green of her magic clashing with the scarlet blood.

"Give him everything," Alena answered, her voice somehow calm. Even in such desperate straits, this was her element, and her serenity helped to soothe the rest as Oswall took up the salve again and started to spread it as best he could over what he hoped were the shallowest wounds.

"I've got the lung..." Tristen spoke through clenched teeth, his own armored hands glowing purple on Shon's side.

Alena nodded, her eyes closed and fingers golden, "leave the broken bones. We'll do those last at the Church..."

Ebonwing, her lips pursed tight but still trembling, could only nod.

Shon's blood was cold as ice water under Oswall's fingers but was growing warmer as the healers poured everything they had into him, until he felt strangely normal. Oswall forced a strained chuckle, "At least we don't have to worry about him overheating..."

Alena's calm cracked a fraction and Oswall heard her whisper, "That isn't the only fear with such extensive damage..." She shook her head, then said, louder, "Don't stop."

But Oswall and Ranito both looked up as something moved in the distance. A Warlock gate opened in front of the pit created by Lily's exit, and through it stumbled the woman herself. Ranito gasped and Oswall gaped, then a second portal appeared where the first vanished, depositing the Waterwyrm beside her fallen sister.

Tristen flinched violently. He looked up, his eyes clouded over and mouthing something Oswall couldn't hear. Then the Paladin found his voice, "Staff Sergeant, apprehend the Wyrms, NOW!"

"What?!" Oswall bellowed at the Paladin in horror and disbelief.

Ranito grasped his shoulder, using him to stand, and explained, "We have to..."

Oswall wrenched himself free of the Mage and leaped to his feet in anger, "We have to help Shon!"

But Ranito grabbed him by both shoulders, "They have to help him. All of them! If we don't follow Sir Tristen's orders, then he may be forced to do it himself or risk breaking his Oath."

"I don't give a damn about-" Oswall tried but Ranito shook him into silence,

"If he breaks his Oath he loses his magic! His ability to heal!"

Oswall stared at the Mage, then down at the Paladin, once again focused on Shon and clenching his teeth. "Damn Giorgos to all the hells..." Oswall breathed, but pulled himself out of Ranito's grip once more, drawing his daggers and stalking toward the Wyrms.

***

Shon turned his face to find the man in white staring at him sadly. "You're going to try and convince me to stay..." Shon predicted, but the man shook his head, saying only,

"The choice is yours and yours alone."

Shon crumpled, falling to his knees, burning his face in his hands, remembering. Most days he didn't care if he lived or died. 'Let the gods decide,' he'd thought. If he lived he would fight until he didn't, and if he died he would accept fate and find the answers to his denial from Hengist himself.

On the worst days, Shon longed for death. He could see no hope in the future, no promise of light or better days to come. He could only see his own worthlessness, all his mistakes, and had convinced himself that anyone would do better at the tasks given him to complete. He truly believed on those days that he was hurting his own cause by continuing to live.

But on the good days, few and far between as they were, he'd wanted to live, to see everything through to the end. To continue to grow in his craft and to travel with Lily. To hold her, see her smile, hear her laughter, and smell her intoxicating cinnamon scent.

Shon's head shot up, "Where's Lily?"

The man shook his head, his white-metallic hair shining as he asked, "Does it matter?"

Shon jumped to his feet in one motion, "It's the only thing that matters!" he shouted.

The man didn't so much as twitch at the sudden move and answered, "She can't make this decision for you."

Again Shon remembered, this time all the many times he'd sighed with a wistful smile, 'You're going to be the death of me...' and her frequent response, 'Good! then you can't die until I allow it!' but the man was right, she couldn't make this decision for him.

"She'll move on..." Shon breathed.

Ryuuko let out a squeak of a whimper at the body's shoulder and Shon flinched. Grabbing his ears to block the sound and falling again to his knees, he shook his head saying "I never deserved you beautiful pest..." He could save the pseudodragon by living, but then would he only grow to resent it?

His thoughts were spiraling and this time Ryuuko wasn't here to pull him out of the whirlpool caused by years of depression and the cracks in his broken soul.

If he died, walked willingly through that gate to the heavenly planes, he would be able to see Hengist, as only the dead could, and get his answers about what, exactly, had made him unworthy to serve, and unable to ever become worthy...

'but then what?' his own traitorous voice asked, 'the dead can't grow to become worthy. Can't change...'

"I can't change anyway." Shon argued with himself, "There is no hope in living. None. Only pain... and emptiness."

'Change can bring hope, but only for the living. Do I really want to give up on every possibility? For more possible pain, OR pleasure, in the future?'

"What pleasure?" Shon snarled.

Then his mind shifted, arguing instead, 'I swore an oath to fight. To do everything in my power to serve the people, to save them. Will I give up now that I've been given the choice to continue?'

"I'm so tired..." Shon moaned, folding in on himself. There was a throbbing emptiness in his heart that only hinted at pain. A feeling that made him want to hurt, just so he could feel something.

His mind refused to relent, the positivity only causing more anguish as it wared with the darkness, 'Is this really who I am then? Am I unwilling to bear the pain of life so others might enjoy its joys? Will I abandon my duty? My friends, family, lover, to save the world without me? That isn't who I am. If it was, I would've given up at eighteen when the pain started...'

Shon whimpered and didn't even flinch when gentle fingers rested on his head. "They're better off without me..." he breathed into his hands.

It was the man who answered, "You know that isn't true." Shon felt tears on his palms and could only shake his head. The man continued, "They love you. Would gladly sacrifice for you."

"Then they'll understand... they'll forgive me..."

Shon felt the man kneel before him, and didn't fight when he pulled Shon's hands down and lifted his face, "They would," he conceded, "But could you forgive yourself?" The man stroked Shon's hair, down to the tie, like a father soothing a crying child. "It is your choice. You have to want to live. But the question isn't if you want to live or die. It's if you will be content in the afterlife, knowing that you did everything you could, or if you would rather spend what time is offered to work for a better future for everyone. Including yourself."

Shon looked again at the gate to the heavenly planes, and asked, "Is the world really in danger?"

"Yes." The man answered. And Shon somehow knew it was true, that everything might come to an end if they didn't do... something. Soon...

Shon turned back to search the man's face, "And can I really make a difference?"

The man smiled his sad smile, "More than you can know now." then he shook his head, "If you aren't there, the world will still try as best as it can, and might be saved anyway. The others will fight. The question should be, 'can I really be content letting them fight without me? Can I not wait a little longer for my answers?'"

"A little longer..." Shon breathed. Looking again to the gate, he forced himself to stand and turn fully to it, taking a step closer and thinking, It's always a little longer..., but saying, "Everyone dies eventually..." Eventually. He looked down at his hands, wet with tears and calloused from years of fighting, and clenched them into fists.

He thought again how tired he was of fighting, but again his own voice said in his mind, 'Don't lie to yourself...'

"I don't lie," Shon answered,

'You love fighting...'

Shon nodded to himself, "It's one of the things Lily and I have in common."

***

Tristen shook his head, trying to clear it, then fell back from Shon's unresponsive body. He'd poured all his magic into the fallen soldier, and could barely keep his eyes open enough to see Ranito and Oswall fighting the Waterwyrm across the once lovely garden.

She had summoned water whips around her, not unlike the Warlock tentacles, and was using them to keep the two at bay, shielding the fallen Firewyrm with her body and magic.

The Paladin looked back to Shon, the Firewyrm's loyal lover, and felt the ache begin to grow in his chest before he even made the conscious decision. He struggled to stand and Ebonwing crumpled, breathing deeply and blinking bleary eyes. She too was spent. But would it be enough? Or was it too much? Had their healing doomed Shon regardless?

Tristen took a shaking step towards his fighting men. Beyond them, the army had widened the hole enough that they started through as well. The Waterwyrm wouldn't be able to fight them all. She would be captured and the Firewyrm with her. Would Shon lose his life, and his love her freedom, on the same cursed day?

Tristen knew they were wounded, but Oswall and Ranito fought on his orders anyway. It was Tristen's choice... he had a responsibility. To his king, and his god...

And Tristen heard again the Firewyrm's snarling accusation, 'You smother your conscience behind 'orders' then try to drag others down with you.' Tristen opened his mouth, but before he could shout the order, his breath was stolen by a piercing, shattering pain that left him hollow and empty. He choked, yet still managed a strangled shout, "HOLD!"

Behind him Shon took in a deep rasping breath, then coughed wetly, exhaling the blood from his lungs.

"He's back! Oh, Tris, he's alive!" Alena cried.

Tristen could only whimper, falling to his knees in pain... and relief. This pain... the pain of losing the connection to his god, of breaking his oath. Was it the same pain Shon lived with every day?

"Hold!" He called again, forcing his eyes up to meet those of the men now surrounding the Waterwyrm. Waiting for his order. He met the Waterwyrm's eyes, and choked, "Go..."

***

Rose's rage was washed away by the shock of the Paladin's order. She got the feeling he'd made a sacrifice she couldn't possibly understand, and she didn't bother trying, screaming to the Warlocks she knew must still be watching, "A gate! Now!"

A night-filled gate opened before her, blocking her view of the collapsing Sir Tristen, and out of it came Tolinar.

"Not you..." Rose groaned as the mad Warlock with his spiked red hair waved to the surrounding soldiers.

The kingdom men blinked in disbelief at the man, momentarily shocked to inaction until he reached for Lily and began pulling her into the gate. Then they surged, until Tristen called in a broken voice, "I said hold!" The army stumbled to a stop as if the command had been a spell, though it wasn't, "let them go!"

Then they were through, the gate dissolving into ash.

***

Tristen closed his eyes, listening as the kingdom's army crashed and clanked around him. He'd broken his Oath, disobeyed a direct order... "I'm sorry..." he sobbed into the grass and mud.

As he lost consciousness a voice asked, 'Are you?'

He didn't have an answer...