Joseph XV

PA 2 – July

Today the Sunset Pharaoh and the Queen of the Stars would be meeting for the first time. It would be a small village known by the locals as ‘New Getoralaind’ that would be the meeting place for the two monarchs. He told Antonia that he picked the site because it was within that grey border area between their lands, and making it a more neutral place to discuss terms.

In reality, the reason he chose it was because the village had been founded by fleeing refugees from when Antonia had conquered ‘old’ Getoralaind.

The Queen of the Stars would find no allies in this village.

“Are you nervous?” Mexiu asked lowly. They stood alone on the village’s ‘docks,’ a small pier jutting out over the river, waiting for the Queen of the Stars to arrive.

“Of course not,” Joseph lied. “I’d just… rather this not turn into a war if we could help it.”

“We’d destroy them,” Meixiu tried reassuring him. “Our armies are drilled and our defenses are prepped. If this comes to war they don’t stand a chance.”

That wasn’t what he was worried about—Gamila’s intelligence had shown that their armies were, if not equal, at least close enough that it didn’t make a difference.

Rather, he worried for the people caught in this war—the people in this very village would be on the front lines, and who knows how many others would have their lives destroyed if he failed today.

He let out a low breath. “Enough. Let us talk of something else. What about Tobias, has he made any progress?”

Meixiu took the change in subject for what it was. “No. At least, none that he’s told us. Which is odd, as you’d think an Asian man wouldn’t be that hard to find in a place like this.”

“Do you think he’s compromised?”

“No. At least, not for Quang. His hatred of his former ally is real enough. Rather, we think Quang’s left the Kingdom entirely.”

“You’re sure he’s left? What if one of his old cities are hiding him?”

“Well, that’s why we’ve sent Gamila up there, isn’t it?”

“True. I’m worried about Kaiden, though. I don’t know if he’s prepared for something like this.”

“Whether he succeeds or not is irrelevant. So long as he distracts the Kings or the Oasis’ long enough for Gamila to sink her teeth into his land, he’ll have succeeded.”

“Fair enough. That doesn’t stop me from worrying, though.”

“Of course. The way you treat him, he’s practically your son!”

Joseph grimaced, but didn’t say anything. He’d been trying not to think of that—think of Kaiden like that. He’d had his own kids, back in the old world. Distant though they may have been, he refused to replace them.

Kaiden was a good kid. But he wasn’t his.

“Look alive,” Meixiu elbowed him, knocking bringing him out of his thoughts. “They’re here.”

Indeed they were. Three boats slowly made their way down the river, their shapes vastly different from the ones he was used to.

Unlike his own Kingdom’s smaller boats woven from reeds, these ones were much larger, looking like they were made from wood. Each ship carried with them at least three men to row the oars, while half-a-dozen others sat near the front of the ship, talking or looking out over the waters.

As the boats got closer, a slow ‘THUMP,’ ‘THUMP,’ ‘THUMP,’ was heard, something he recognized as the pounding of a drum, hammering out a slow, steady beat.

Closer still, and he could see two women standing on the deck of the lead ship. From their foreign features alone he could tell who they were.

The Queen was here.

She stood proudly in the center of her ship, meeting his eyes as she slowly sailed closer. She was tall, he could tell as much even with the distance between them. Her tanned skin was contrasted by the white leather armor she wore, beneath which she had dressed in purple flowing robes. She glittered in the sunlight, causing him to squint every few seconds as the sun reflected off of her. As she got closer, he saw that it was actually gold that was glittering, small chunks of the stuff embedded into her armor and worn as jewelry. The whole ensemble was rather tacky, but he imagined it could look imposing to mortals who didn’t know any better to see their Queen glowing.

There was also a woman next to her. That woman was colorful. That was the best way he could describe her. Really, really colorful.

The boat settled in to dock, and the Queen of the Stars stepped foot in the lands of the Sun for the first time.

“Queen Antonia,” Joseph plastered a fake smile onto his face. “It’s an honor to finally make your acquaintance.”

“Pharaoh Joseph,” the Queen nodded at him, her face placid. “I believe this is the first time we’ve met in person.”

“Indeed it is. But please, I’m certain we can save the greetings for a moment. Come, I’ve set up a place for us to sit down and speak, out of the scorching sun. Your entourage as well are welcome to come ashore, if they want too as well.”

“That depends. Are my people safe to disembark? These people will not attack them when their back is turned, will they?”

Meixiu suddenly tensed up next to him, nearly growling out her next words. “Do you not trust us to protect our guests?”

Joseph winced mentally, doing his best not to show anything outwardly. This wasn’t a good way to start things off. Bringing Meixiu here was normally a safe option diplomatically speaking, acting as the stick to his carrot, but she tended to get angry quickly when her honor was brought into question. Still, this could be salvaged. Time for him to play the good-cop.

“Your question is valid, Queen Antonia,” he smiled at her, forcing her attention back to him. “After all, in a foreign land like ours, it’s natural to be wary. But so long as your soldiers don’t start anything, there’ll be nothing to worry about.”

She continued staring at him, her face showing no more emotion than before. “’So long as your soldiers don’t start anything,’ you say. So if something bad happens, no matter what, it’s our fault? Do you not trust us, Pharaoh Joseph?”

Fuck. Looks like Meixiu wasn’t the only one making mistakes today.

Fine then. Double down.

“Not yet,” he told her bluntly. “However, I’m hopeful that by the time you leave, that will have changed.”

“Oh~ Don’t’cha worry, Boss-man,” Antonia’s colorful tag-along suddenly jumped in, stepping between the two monarchs. “No one’ll be messing with your stuff, they’re good eggs, one and all! Well, except Jeff, but that’s cause he’s a Jeff, y’know?”

Joseph stared down at the woman. His eyes slipped over to Antonia, as if to ask what who this was, but the other woman simply stared at him, expression unchanging. Turning his eyes back to the colorful woman in front of him, he saw that she was now standing on her tip-toes, her forehead now barely reaching his chin.

“You’re pretty tall, huh? You from Germany?”

“America, actually,” he responded automatically, before shaking himself. This woman was odd, but he’d worked customer service before, he could deal with odd. “But where are my manners, I don’t believe we’ve met, Lady…?”

“Oh no, I’m no blueblood,” she fell down from her tip-toes, rocking back on her heels with a satisfied smile on her face. “Name’s Alya, Alya Ahmed. I do things!”

“…I see. Well, Lady Alya, Queen Antonia, I do believe we’ve gotten side-tracked. If you’ll follow me, we can settle down for a meal before we begin negotiations.”

Not giving them another moment to cut in, he turned and started walking into the village, waving for the others to join him. Meixiu and—suprisingly—Alya immediately started following him, but Antonia took a moment longer to start walking.

It was rude, perhaps, but this whole meeting was already fraying his nerves and it hadn’t even started yet. He just needed to get this over with as fast as possible.

It was a short walk, anyway. Less then a minute later they were in the meeting room—which had been the current chieftain’s hall that he’d gracefully allowed them to use today—siting around a small table, covered in ‘local delicacies’ of salted fish, salted bread, and more salted fish.

“I figured we could talk over a meal,” Joseph led them into the room, taking a seat around the table. “It’s a simple fare compared to what we’re used to, but I hope the sentiment gets across nonetheless.”

“It’s not poisoned, is it?” Antonia asked suspiciously.

Joseph blinked—the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “We’re immortal?” he blurted out, confused. “Why would I poison the food? It wouldn’t even kill you?”

Antonia, for the first time since she’d arrived, showed actual emotion. Unfortunately, that emotion was anger. “It doesn’t matter whether or not it would work. It’s the principle of the matter!”

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“Ooh!” Alya leaned around her Queen, greedily taking in the platter before her. “Is this salmon!?”

…It was official. Joseph had no idea how to talk to these people.

“No,” he sighed, resisting the urge to rub his forehead. “I did not poison the food. Would you like me to take the first bite, just to show you?”

Antonia narrowed her eyes at him, before glancing away, tilting her nose haughtily in the air. “No. Your word is enough for now.”

“Thank you,” he forced his customer service diplomatic smile back on his face. “Also, Alya, no, it is not salmon. I believe it’s too hot for them to survive in this climate, unfortunately.”

“Shame,” Alya shrugged uncaringly, plopping down onto her seat before digging into her food with gusto. Her Queen, after a moment of hesitation, followed suit, though she only grabbed a slice of bread herself.

Meixiu sat down next to him, and even without being able to see her he could tell she was giving him a look.

He resisted the urge to apologize, and instead focused on pretending this meeting was going well.

“So, what is Starfell like?” Joseph smiled at Antonia, hoping to pull her into idle conversation. “I’ve unfortunately never been, though I’ve heard it’s quite beautiful.”

He’d never heard anything about Starfell, actually, but the question worked well enough, enticing the Queen to speak. “You are correct—it is the most beautiful city in the world. It sits atop a hill, overlooking the river. And when night falls, the sky above explodes with stars—more than you’d ever see back in the old world.”

“I agree,” Joseph’s smile became a bit more genuine. “I personally prefer watching the sunsets, but the night sky in this land is truly beautiful.”

“Oh, oh, is that because you’re the Sunset Pharaoh?” Alya asked, wildly waving her hand in the air.

“Perhaps,” Joseph chuckled. “You might be able to call that fate, or maybe just the result of people building upon what they love. It’s a lovely coincidence, regardless.”

Antonia’s expression didn’t change, but she did grab another slice of bread. Beside him, he instinctively knew more then saw Meixiu’s eyes follow the Queen’s every movement. Subtly, he lightly kicked her foot beneath the table, trying to tell her to dial it down.

“Enough of this idle chit-chat. We have come to speak about the border,” Antonia spoke up suddenly, jarringly changed subject. “Last week, when we came to claim tax, the people of this village claimed to be under your protection—however, I am certain that this village was well within the Getoralaind borders before I conquered it. Therefore, it should be mine.”

Joseph blinked quickly, mind changing tracks as he tried to keep up with the new conversation.

“I was unaware that was the case,” he hummed mildly. “However, if these people would rather live under our rule, should we not let them?”

“Our people died for this land,” the Queen told him firmly. “Would you let their sacrifice be in vain?”

The fact that she could say that with a straight face… “Of course not. But you were the aggressor, need I remind you. These people did not swear fealty to me because they wanted to—they did so because they were fleeing from you. And what King would I be, if I didn’t shield those who begged for my protection?”

That finally got her to falter. Her expression didn’t change much, she only bit her lip slightly, the barest furrowing of her brow, but he pressed that as hard as he could.

“For two years this river has been dyed red by blood. The blood of soldiers, the blood of innocents, and the blood of kings. Don’t you agree that there has been enough bloodshed? Can’t we for once agree to peace? To prosperity? Would you really send hundreds to die for a tiny village on the edge of your territory?”

“I would not harm them,” Antonia’s voice was loud, but weak. It cracked and trembled as she spoke. “I treat all my subjects with respect and care.”

“They do not want your respect, nor your care,” he chided her gently. “You killed their King—someone who you could argue plays a similar role to their father. Would you really expect them to forgive you so easily for that?”

“I… ah…” Antonia floundered.

However, before he could land the finishing blow and force her to give in, someone else stepped in.

“What about you?” Alya suddenly cut in, dragging his attention over to her. She was playing with a fishbone on her plate, absently walking it up and down the plate like it was a man. “Are you willing to do that thing? The whole sending hundreds to die for a little village?”

“…I’m sorry?”

“Eh?” she stared at him curiously, making the fish do a flip. “Isn’t it obvious? You seem to be really against people getting un-alived, so I figured you’d back down if our army stepped in. Or are you saying you’d defend them, even then?”

…No, he wouldn’t. If it came down to it, he’d gladly trade this village for peace. But there’s no way he’d let them know that—if they wanted this village, they’d have to argue every step of the way for it, and he’d make sure to bleed them dry as he did.

“In that case, I’d be defending my subjects,” he told her, forcing his voice to be firm. “I will not start a war, but I will not bend if someone tries to attack me—my people.”

“Huh, sounds hypocritical of you.”

“W-what?”

“I mean, you just said this village is too worthless to fight over, but now you wanna fight over it? I dunno man, something smells fishy here,” as if to emphasize her point, she lifted the fish bone up to her nose, taking a deep, long breath.

The bizarre act distracted him enough that he took a second longer than normal to respond, making his argument feel weaker than it should have been. “They have asked for my protection, and so I will do all I can to fulfill that duty.”

“Did they? Or did you just assume that because of where you drew the border on a map?”

…Shit, had he? …No, he couldn’t have. But even if he did, why would they want to live under the rule of the person who killed their previous king? …But did the average person even care about that…?

“That is… I…”

“My lord has a soft heart,” as he started to flounder, Meixiu thankfully spoke up, her voice proud and stern. “He winces at the sight of blood and weeps at tragedy. In fact, I once saw him cry at the sight of a baby bird that had fallen from its perch above his house—which he then spent all day trying to climb the building to return it to its nest.”

…They didn’t need to know that, Meixiu.

“However, while my lord is kind, I am not,” she snarled, narrowing her eyes in challenge. “Should it come to war, you need not worry about my lord nor his actions—for it is I you will face on the field of battle.”

Alya met her stare, her arms crossed over her chest and a large fishbone sticking out of her mouth like a cigar. The two of them squared off, their leaders forgotten. Eventually, though…

“Damn,” she grinned at Meixiu. “You are one scary lady. Have you ever tried a snickers™?”

Meixiu’s expression didn’t waver. “No.”

“Well damn,” Alya shrugged. “Then I’ve got nothing. What about you, Boss-Lady? You have any ideas?”

Antonia started slightly, unprepared to be called on so suddenly. “…I believe that I would be willing to allow this village to stay within your border. However. I would not do so freely. I demand recompense, for the land I am giving up and the loss of the tribute I would otherwise get from it.”

Joseph let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “That seems fair enough, I suppose. What would you like?”

“A bushel of grain, for every living soul in this village.”

“Well, that’s certainly an offer. But, Queen Antonia, in my line of work, that’s what we call highway robbery. Half a bushel per adult, and a quarter for every child seems much more reasonable, no?”

She scoffed. “Do you take me for a fool? This is not just recompense for this year’s tribute, but for each year of tribute I’d lose after. I will not budge on the portion for adults, but I will allow for half a bushel for each of the children.”

“Surely even that’s too much? A quarter per child is most reasonable, don’t you agree?”

“Ah, but what if,” Alya cut in, a smug grin on her face, as though she had the deal of a lifetime ready for him. “Two bushels per person? Eh? Eeeehhhh?”

Joseph stared at her blankly. “No.”

Antonia clicked her tongue. “Enough—we both know that I am asking for pocket change in exchange for this village. Ten years of working this village’s farms and you’d likely have already made back every stalk of wheat and more. One bushel per adult, and a third per child—this is the lowest I’m willing to go.”

Joseph pondered for a bit—something that was mostly for show—before nodding slowly. “Very well. Then this village will be the end of my border, and once you reach the extent of its farms your Kingdom will begin. In exchange, I will gift you a bushel of grain per adult and a third of a bushel for child, to be delivered to your capital during the Autumn harvest. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

Antonia let out a low hum, frowning slightly. “What do you mean, ‘the extent of the farms?’ How far do they extend? And what happens if they extend further? I will not have you stealing my lands because of a technicality.”

“Let’s say…” Joseph gave it a moment’s thought. “How about we say that it is to the point where the river bends, no more and no less. And if that must change later on, we can always meet again to discuss it.”

“…A shorter distance then I expected,” Antonia stared at him hard, before nodding slowly. “Very well, I agree. From this day forth, that shall be the new border between our Kingdoms.”

“Excellent. And, now that that is out of the way,” Joseph smiled, folding his hands together on the table. “I don’t suppose we could set up some more permanent trade between our two Kingdoms?”

That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say, as Alya suddenly grinned wide, her expression that of a hungry shark.

“Oh yeah,” Alya’s eyes glinted ominously. Even Antonia glanced at her, offput. “Ka-ching, baby.”

--

Hashing out trade deals, as always, took a while. They’d trade grain for hardwood and beer for cattle. Salt and incense and all types of foodstuffs were taken on and off the table. They debated heatedly on how many pounds of wheat for a cow, how many trees per casket of beer. Could salt work as a currency by their merchants? Wasn’t three teaspoons of salt for a single date way too much!?

The debates on trade and money went on far longer than deciding the treaty, which probably said something or other about human nature.

By the time they finished the sun had begun to set, and the four God-Kings had calmed down considerably.

“Truly, I didn’t expect you to drive such a hard bargain,” Joseph sighed as they finally finished, looking at Alya with something akin to budding respect (and frustration. A whole lot of frustration). “I think you could run my merchant out of a job if they aren’t careful.”

“You know what they say,” Alya made a ‘pew pew’ noise as she shot finger guns at him. “When money’s in the, uh, way, the Alyas come to make… play! The Alyas come out to play.”

“Nobody says that…” Meixiu hissed quietly, rubbing her forehead. Joseph would have pitied her, if he wasn’t feeling the same after such a long time arguing with Alya. Antonia, by contrast, was a pushover, and he could unfortunately understand why she’d brought along her fellow God-King for this.

“Shall we drink, then?” Joseph asked after a moment to regain his bearings, waving over a servant. “To celebrate a successful treaty.”

“Oh hell yeah!” Alya threw her arms in the air. “Time to get wasted!”

Antonia folded her hands over her lap. “…I suppose it would be only polite.”

With that decided the servant brought over the cup they’d be drinking from. It was a large, cylindrical bowl, filled halfway with beer. Placing it calmly in the center of the table, the servant gave them a bow before stepping back, waiting to be called on again.

“Where are our cups?” Antonia asked, staring at the bowl in confusion.

“This is our cup,” Joseph told her. Placing both hands under the bowl he lifted it up, bringing it to his lips and taking a slow, steady drink.

Finished, he set it gently down in front of Meixiu, who copied him.

“A single bowl, representing the treaty we wrote up today,” he continued calmly. “An oath, if you will. No matter what has or will come to pass, tonight we drink from the same fountain. Tonight we have chosen peace.”

“Neat!” Alya smiled, practically grabbing the bowl out of Meixiu’s hands. His general’s eyebrow twitched, but thankfully she didn’t move beyond that. “Bottoms up!” Alya lifted the bowl high over her mouth, practically chugging from the ceremonial bowl.

Meixiu’s eyebrow twitched harder. Joseph lightly knocked the side of his foot against hers, reminding her to stay calm. Still, considering this whole ceremony had been her idea, he could understand her frustration at Alya almost making a mockery of it.

Finishing quickly, Alya almost shoved the bowl in Antonia’s face with a smile. “Here ya go! Don’t worry about the taste—it’s way better then I thought it’d be!”

Joseph might have been offended by the insinuation that she thought their beer would be shit if he didn’t agree with her himself. He’d gone out of his way to get the best brew possible just for this meeting. Even then, it was only tolerable compared to the stuff they were used to back on Earth.

With that Antonia finished her drink, placing the bowl down in the center of the table. The servant from before quickly returned to take it away, giving the four of them a small bow.

“With this, our pact is sealed, and our oath is made,” Joseph smiled at the two women across from him. “Tonight we have chosen peace. And I hope that peace lasts for many, many nights to come.”

Antonia said nothing. But, slowly, she gave him a quiet nod.

And as the Queen of Starfell left the village to return to her Kingdom, Joseph finally allowed himself to relax, a small, satisfied smile on his face. It had been a bit dodgy at times, but that was one crisis averted.

Today, there would be peace.

9,864 God-Kings Remain