An excerpt from 'A Treatise on Morality' by Anonymous Author
We live in a world consumed by conflict and death. Can morality exist in such a place? Can we truly claim the moral high ground when the only way to increase one's personal level is through killing? We become numb to the thought of battle, viewing it as a stepping stone to increasing our power, and forget the implications of our actions. What if there is another way to do so? Are we condeming billions of thinking beings to death because we are too lazy to discover another route to power?
I exit the house just as the sun sets beyond the horizon. A quiet darkness seems to settle over the city, matching the thoughts within my soul.
There’s something … different about taking the life of another human. I took the lives of hundreds of creatures on Helldarvin and never really had that much concern over my actions, fully aware that I was in a kill or be killed situation. Apart from the egg of Shssiss, I never had an issue with the action. Taking Adrian’s life, however, plays over and over in my mind as I walk to the manor.
Does my power really give me the right to do as I please, to adopt the role of judge and executioner? Years of study taught me that the rule of law is the only thing keeping humanity from falling into anarchy, a state of lawless existence where a person does as they please. That is the last thing that I want to happen.
What do I really want? Despite my recent reevaluation of my actions and choices, I never really considered the type of world that I am fighting for. I convince myself that I act for altruistic reasons or for protection of those I love but is that really true?
Alone with my troubled thoughts, I walk to the manor under the cover of shadow, hopping over the wall at the back so that I’m not forced to interact with the guards. I stare into the house, looking through the window and seeing my parents sitting with Julian, most likely making small talk as they wait for me to arrive.
I see my father laugh at one of Julian’s jokes, his body shaking and face lighting up as if he’s never heard anything quite as funny. That’s one of the things I love about him. No matter how often he laughs it always seems to catch him off guard, his extreme reaction making it obviously genuine. What would he have done in my situation? Would he have done things the same way?
The answer enters my head instantly. No, he would not have done things the same way. He would have taken things much further.
He would have probably killed Adrian publically, loudly proclaiming it as the fate of everyone who would ever even dare to harm his family. Yet, despite my knowledge of his likely actions, I’m able to watch him laugh and joke and love. He is human, defined by more than just one action or one part of his personality. He is the sum of all of his parts.
The realization calms me down, lessening the whispering voices of guilt within my mind. I am defined by more than my worst action, just as I am less than my best action. I’m a sum of everything I’ve ever done. As long as I believe that they all balance out, that everything I do is bringing about a better future, then I will continue forward. I will never be a paragon of moral virtue but I’ll ensure others can be.
Walking in the back door, I quietly close it behind me and walk through the kitchen towards the living room. A creak from the wooden floor gives me away, the noise of their conversation dying out instantly. Holding my hands up sheepishly, I walk through the doorway into the living room, calling out to let them know that it is me. Before I have a chance to say anything, my Mom stands up and glares at me, going off in a tirade.
“Where the hell have you been? Not only do you disappear for three days, you then ambush me in front of the entire city and proclaim that you are a competitor for Primus? You’re lucky I didn’t order you to drop out of the competition right then and there! You owe your father and me an explanation.” She is nearly yelling by the end, her true feelings on the subject showing.
I’m a little taken aback. She’s not usually one for overt displays of emotion, which really shows how upset she is. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ambush you. I just needed some way to tell you that I was a competitor without you making me drop out. I’m the best chance Everwall has.”
Scoffing slightly, my father makes his opinion known. “Son, you know I love you, but we both know you aren’t the most athletic person. This is going to be a competition where each person is risking their life every time they step up. It’s going to involve battles where people will die. It was remarkable that you managed to survive in the forest by yourself for two weeks but that doesn’t prepare you for this kind of fight.”
I watch as my Mom’s eyes narrow as he continues to speak. It looks like she’s finally connecting the dots, realizing that I lied to them when I first came back. If I was anyone else, she would have initially looked at everything I told her and applied her regular level of skepticism, coming to this conclusion immediately. However, she was blinded by love.
“You didn’t really spend those two weeks in the forest did you?” Her voice is tinged with annoyance and suspicion. I instantly recognize it, the tone being the same as the one time I snuck out to a friend’s house. She’d uncovered my lie a lot quicker back then, less distracted by an apocalyptic change to the world, and had questioned me with that tone the next day.
I shake my head as I respond. “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry for lying to the both of you but I was convinced at the time that it was my best option. Someone recently pointed out the flaw of that thinking and I realized that I needed to trust the two of you, and Julian, if I wanted to accomplish my goals.”
“What goals are you talking about? Are you actually intent on becoming Primus?” Dad asks incredulously.
Holding up my hand, I decide to start from the beginning. It takes about an hour to tell them the whole story, holding back no aspects except for my Telepathic Mind back. They listen with rapt attention as I describe my initial arrival to Helldarvin, my training and separation from Faul, meeting Albasalas, destroying Shssiss and Rolarch, the ‘test’ by Peter and his Hunters, and all the actions I’ve taken since arriving at Everwall.
Silence fills the room for a few minutes as my father paces around, my mother sits in deep thought with her eyes closed, and Julian looks at me in complete admiration. The last part is surprising but I am grateful, especially given where I had just come from. I’d been worried, and even prepared, for all of them to treat me like a criminal but they hadn’t even blinked when I’d told them about Adrian. Were we not in a new world where the rules of morality were so blurry, I would be far more concerned about their lack of reaction.
My Mom is the first to react, speaking with her eyes still closed in thought. “I don’t agree with your initial choice to lie to us but … I understand why you did so. Just know we aren’t idiots Cael, we’ve done far more and lived through far more than you can understand. I’m also sure I speak for both your father and myself when I say that I do not like the idea of you competing in these Trials. I spent fifteen days thinking I’d lost my only child and that is an experience I never want to have to live through again.”
I’m caught off guard by the anguish in her voice. I … I hadn’t really considered what it would be like for them in the initial days when my fate was unknown. Before I can try and tell her that it will be okay, something we both know would be nothing more than a comforting lie, she continues.
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“All of that aside, I want to know your opinion Julian. Is Cael really the best chance we have or did becoming a randomly selected just make him arrogant?”
Wincing slightly at the tone of her voice, as well as the first obvious acknowledgement of my past, I turn to Julian and listen to his response.
“I-I can s-say without a-any doubt that C-Cael is our b-best s-shot. I-I’ve p-prepared a s-summary of m-m-my findings.” He hands her a piece of paper, not wanting to inconvenience the conversation with his difficulty of speech. I’ve seen them do something like this before and each time it makes me just feel more sympathetic to Julian and his affliction. I wish there was something I could do but, unfortunately, I have yet to discover that particular Skill.
My mom reads for a few moments before continuing. “I can’t say I’m happy to hear that but I’ll accept your findings. According to your interviews and research, Everwall currently has twelve individuals who have a Classes, and a large amount of individuals with strange or unique Skills that can serve the city’s purpose. Will anyone of them be able to help Cael and the other contestants in the fighting?”
I interrupt her before she can continue. “Wait, there are people with Classes who are under Level 25? How?”
Her response is a reminder that she is still frustrated and annoyed by my previous decision to lie. “Well apparently you don’t know everything son. These twelve individuals were able to obtain classes by actions or by obtaining a set of synergistic Skills. Julian is one of these people, obtaining the Class ‘Logistician’ during his interviews and organization of the city’s labor pool.”
I turn to him in surprise and curiosity, asking, “What are the Attribute increases and the Skills that you got from the class?”
Letting out a chuckling and stuttering laugh, he answers, “I-I got Skill A-Analyze, w-which allows me t-to see b-basic inform-formation about a p-person, and D-Data A-Analysis, w-which lets me do c-complex an-analysis in my h-head. I get 2 Int-intelligence and wi-wisdom per level.”
For the first time, I’m able to see direct evidence of Classes that aren’t built around combat potential. It’s a fascinating revelation that makes me happy because it means that not everyone is forced to spend their life in an endless battle, forever focused o growth. The real question is whether or not it is possible for Julian to gain experience, not just Skill Lvls, in a non-combat situation.
My mom continues on while I lose myself in thought for a moment, regaining my attention. “Julian isn’t the only person to gain a class. We’ve had individuals become a ‘Fisherman’, a ‘Farmer’, a ‘Guard’, and a ‘Thief’. Of course, these are the more regular of the Class assignments, as Julian has noted a strong connection between their pre-Genesis occupation and the Class unlocked.”
“A few more unique Classes have also appeared. A young man who lives down at the docks received the ‘Technocrat’ Class after trying to repair an electrical boat with some materials he’d found before coming to Everwall. A woman employed as a guard received the ‘Bouncer’ Class after breaking up a fight. A boy of eleven years got the ‘Son of Mischief’ Class, a young woman got the ‘Follower’ Class, and, perhaps most relevant to the discussion, I received the ‘Matriarch’ Class.”
I turn to her in surprise. Not only is there a way to receive a Class before Level 25, my mother is one of the few who have managed to do so. Before I can ask her what the benefits of her class are, she hands the paper back to my father and laces her hands in front of her.
“So Julian, will anyone of them be able to help during the fight?”
He takes a minute to collect his thoughts, a brief flash of blue light coming out of his eyes. If I had to guess, I’d assume it’s a byproduct of his Data Analysis Skill, some sort of reaction to its activation. Finally finishing, he responds, “The on-only people who co-could help currently are the ‘S-son of M-mischief’ and t-the ‘Guard’. A-all others w-would hinder.”
I interrupt them before they can continue with that train of thought. “I have no issue accepting help from an adult but I refuse to allow a child to go into a situation where they might die.”
My father lets out a morbid bark. “Cael, this isn’t the time for taking the high road, this is a time of life and death. The fate of the entire city rests on the outcome of this attack. If someone can help, then we are going to ensure that they are helping.”
I shake my head resolutely. It is better to set this precedent from the start so both of my parents understand and accept our new reality. While I will accept their advice and heed their words, I am no longer the kid that can be easily commanded. “No you will not. I refuse to involve children in this attack. Put as many of the guards on the wall as you want but I will not let that boy be anywhere near the fighting.”
Anger at being disobeyed for the first time begins to bloom in my father’s eyes, quickly caught and checked by a little gesture by my mom. He turns to the side and walks into the kitchen, most likely to calm himself down. His opinion will most likely remain the same but that is one area where I will not budge.
“All of this is important, and we can figure out the details later, but it isn’t the big question that we need to be planning for. Cael, what are you goals? Do you really want to take on the mantle of responsibility?” My mother’s voice is incredulous, obviously aware that I’ve shirked responsibility and leadership ever since I was a young child.
It’s obvious that they still haven’t come to terms with the full enormity of my situation. They still think I’m the young man in college, not the man who survived just under 500 days on an alien planet fighting for my survival. They haven’t accepted that my time on Helldarvin changed me, in some ways for the better and in others for the worse.
I decide to answer honestly. “No, I don’t want it. However … I don’t trust anyone else to hold this kind of power. I know for a fact that only the strong are going to be able to get to the end of the Trials and none of you have seen what kind of person becomes strong in Genesis. We now live in a world where you are rewarded for being heartless, gaining power for a complete lack of morality. You’ve seen the edges of what is coming our way, where I’ve looked it right in the eye. Threats and conflicts bigger than we could ever imagine are coming our way. If someone else becomes Primus, someone with nothing but a desire for power, then Earth is doomed. We need someone with both morality and power. I don’t think I’m the best person for the position, but until I see someone better, I’m going for it with all I can.”
Silence blankets over the living room, the full weight of my words finally settling in. While I may not be the best with social interaction, I’m the only one who has seen beyond Earth and everyone in the room realizes this.
My mother is the first to respond, shaking her head to through off the larger implications of my statement, and intently focusing on me. A scheming smile appears on her face, a look I’ve only ever seen when the beginnings of a plan form in her mind.
“Well then … we’ve got some planning to do.”
----------------------------------------
I step out onto the back deck after a few hours of planning, leaning back to stretch out my tight body. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, I’m extremely grateful that I’m not enemies with my mother. The woman has a gift when it comes to maneuvering and creating plans, laying out countless steps and contingency plans for actions by the other factions within Everwall.
A creak emanates from behind me as the door opens, followed by soft footsteps as someone joins me. I turn my head to the side, expecting to see one of my parents, and am shocked when I realize it is Julian, a sheepish and embarrassed look on his face. Nodding to him, we both stare up at the night sky, admiring the new stars that have replaced the familiar but worn tapestry before it.
“S-so y-you really t-think you c-can do the f-first step? It’s a ha-hard t-t-thing to d-do” Julian asks me honestly. We’d spent hours debating and arguing about the validity of my next action but, where I was open to the concept, my mother was adamant. Our biggest hope of success relied on taking advantage of our unification and striking before others became aware.
I don’t respond for a few seconds, considering the deeper meaning behind his question. He knows who I was and is only beginning to see who I’ve become. However, through his fear of randomly selected, he had nothing but admiration for what I’d done up to this point. I know I don’t deserve it but I won’t lie when I say it makes things just a bit easier.
“I know … and if I’m honest with you, I don’t want to do it. But it is necessary and it’s the right choice. Better to bloody the hands of one instead of the hands of many. I have a feeling that the city is going to play just as large of a role in this competition as I am and … we need Everwall to be the shining city on the hill. We need it to be a bastion of humanity’s best qualities, a representation of all we can accomplish when we work together. That’s the only way we’ll be able to find the right type of people. Otherwise, strength would be our only recruiter and … that isn’t a path we want to walk down.”
He reluctantly nods his head, having heard the same arguments over the past few hours. “W-w-well I don’t e-envy you f-for that ch-choice. I-If you ever n-n-need to talk … I-I’m around…”
I nod my appreciation, feeling wrongly honored by his trust and offer.
Staring up into the night sky, knowing that each light represents its own different threat to Earth, I whisper to myself. “Hard but right decisions. Always.”