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The Future That Never Was — The Rings Will Rise Again!
◉ BONUS #1 - The Radical Language of the Alternate Space Age

◉ BONUS #1 - The Radical Language of the Alternate Space Age

The Radical Language of the Alternate Space Age

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As you may have noticed, Solarian English diverges a little bit from regular English.

First, it uses a lot of Gallicisms; the Martian capital planet being mostly populated by French immigrants who led the Red Planet’s terraforming effort before WW3.

But after the disastrous conflict, during the Hard Reset, billions of survivors from the United Nations and the Communist Bloc also fled towards the edges of the solar system. Many settled in the main belt, hoping to find, one day, a bigger convoy leaving for the Outer Worlds around Jupiter and the Rings. A large portion of the colonists beyond Mars were Yankees. Later on, thanks to music and movies produced en masse in New Hollywood, Las Pallas, a new American culture spread across the system adding new twists and flavor to a then universally adopted language which had slowly drift away from Shakespeare's legacy.

Raised in Neo-Babylon, on Titan, Ali and Lee endorsed some of the Belter slangs proper to the alternate space age and its incredible melting pot. Slangs you may find some exemples below, in the three different sections of this chapter!

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Lee's Tubular Lexicon

As if = As if it were true

A shorted phrase for “as if it were true” or “as if you were right. Mainly used as a lighthearted way to say "yeah, right".

Bodacious = Wonderful, excellent

This word is an obvious blend of bold and audacious. Coined in the 19th century, it found a new life after the Red Uprising thanks to CB radio, where it was used to reference a strong incoming signal. It was later on heavily featured in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure with Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter. You can also use: Dope, excellent, fantabulous, most triumphant, outrageous, righteous, schweet, stellar or wicked.

Bounce = Leave

We've reached the end. Time to leave, pal!

Cool beans = Agreeable, sounds good

Cowabunga = Satisfying and delightful.

First used in the 1950s, but became popular again with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Diss = To show disrespect.

Dude = man, buddy

Addressing someone to get their attention. Dudette is a female equivalent used less often. This word first originated in the 1880s but became a regular part of Solarian vocabulary since the end of the Hard Reset.

Duh (no duh) = A simple grunt of incomprehension

It's often used as a rejoinder, implying that the first speaker is a dork. Its first citation comes from a 1943 Merrie Melodies cartoon: “Duh... Well, he can't outsmart me, 'cause I'm a moron.” Before WW3, The New York Times Magazine noted that the word “is the standard retort used when someone makes a conversational contribution bordering on the banal. For example, the first child says, ‘The French were first in space.’ Unimpressed, the second child replies (or rather grunts), ‘Duh'. "

Eat my shorts! = A crude remark to tell someone to go away, stop bothering you, etc.

The insults of the alternate space age can often sound ridiculous to modern ears, and “Eat my shorts!” is no exception. While Bart from The Simpsons helped popularize the phrase, it actually was coined by another defining cultural landmark made in New-Hollywood: The Breakfast Club. The movie also helped popularize a number of other slang phrases, including “wastoid” (for someone who uses drugs) and “burner” (essentially a burnout) across the Space Highway.

Gag me with a spoon! = That’s disgusting!

One of the defining linguistic phenomena of the alternate space age was Belt-speak, a dialect of English spoken by Belter Girls. These were the mostly upper-middle-class young women who lived in the first American colonies in the main belt like Las Pallas or the Big Valley on Vesta. The stereotype of the Belter Girl really began under Richard Nixon Techno-Presidency, but it really started to spread before the Rings Civil War.

Gnarly = Amazing, awesome or... disgusting

Belter-speak wasn’t the only linguistic phenomenon coming from the American colonies in the main belt. Surf slang was also making waves. While the popularity of asteroid-surfing culture really peaked after the Hard Reset, the lingo made it big later on. The word “gnarly,” for example, was later used to refer to dust waves that were particularly difficult to surf, and it spread to non-surfing teenagers later on. It was popularized by the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Grindage = Food

It describes delicious food that you intend to chow down on with extreme enthusiasm.

Grody = Gross

Initially written as “groaty,” this term basically describes something dirty or super gross. If something is truly terrible, you might describe it as grody to the max. It originated from the Japanese/American moon of Titan, Saturn. "To the max" being mostly used by booster gang members of Outrage City.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Hella = A lot of, very extremely

It’s an abbreviation of helluva, as in, “he had one helluva headache.” It has a lot of synonymes, like: mad, major, mega or totally.

How’s your bod? = How are you feeling?

On college campuses during the Hard Reset, it came to mean “a physically attractive person of the opposite sex.” But when Sloane asks Ferris “How’s your bod?” in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, what she’s actually asking is: How are you feeling?

Motor = To move quickly, to leave

Curious about how to use it in a sentence? Look no further than this quote from the movie Heathers: “Great paté, but I gotta motor if I want to be ready for that party tonight.” Motor found its golden age on Canyon Creek during the first Grand Prix of SASCAR. Back then, every kid in the Outer Worlds wanted to be a slingshoter.

Radical = Extreme, outrageous, good

Originating in the early Hard Reset, radical is another term borrowed from space surfer slang after which it migrated into the argot of the main belt—and then into mainstream Solarian youth slang. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles craze under Techno-President Geroge Bush Sr. brough radical to the masses around the system. Rad, a shortened version of the word, was also a popular way to describe something you really loved.

Ralph = Vomiting

Because supposedly that’s what the act of retching sounds like—college kids from the Techno-Academy would call for Ralph. The verb dates back to pre-WW3, and you can once again find it in The Breakfast Club: “Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke.”

Take a Chill Pill = Relax

According to the New-Angouleme Institute of Solarian English (NAISE), the phrase originated on Martian college campuses under Techno-President Mitterand. Martian youth, most of them speaking French, wanted to adopt the American way of life of the main belt and Jupiter.

Tubular = Perfect

In the belt, the meaning was related to waves. Asteroid surfers near Las Pallas used it to refer to “a cresting wave of particules: hollow and curved, so that it is well-formed for riding on,” and soon, it came to mean “the ultimate in perfection,” according to the NAISE. The word (as well as many others on this rad lexicon) was featured in Frank Zappa’s song “Belter Girl”: “It’s so awesome/ It’s like tubular, y’know.”

Frank Zappa Daughter's Moon only "hit". A song turned cult-classic: 1982's "Valley Girl"

Veg out = To relax and do nothing

Is there anything more relaxing than vegetating? Well, if you think about that too hard, it’s kind of a strange slang to use fo that. Because it was firstly used to describe old people being recycled in nutrigel at the end of the Red Uprising. The Soviets did weird criminal stuff in the belt.

What's your damage? = What is the matter with you?

This is not a sincere question. Again coined by the teen drama Heathers, it's a harsher way of saying, "What is the matter with you?"

Where’s the beef? = What's wrong?

People like to think that they’re not affected by holo-advertising, but every decade has its commercials that catch on in the cultural zeitgeist. Before “Got nutri-milk?,” “Whassup” or “Just do it,” there was “Where’s the beef?” It comes from a Reagan-era commercial in which three old ladies are sitting around, eating nutri-massalas on Ceres. Two of the women discuss how nice Indian food is, setting up the punchline for the commercial, where the third woman starts exclaiming “Where’s the beef?”

Yes way, Big time, Cheeuh!, For sure, I kid you not, Most definitely, No doy, Word = Yes

You might think that one word meaning "yes" -- with maybe the occasional "yeah" or "sure" -- would be sufficient for Solarians settlers. Wrong! "Yes" may make you sounds like a Martian, who does not know much English.

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Ali's Righteous Insults Section

Even as mainstream culture spoke of "morning in Solaris" and "new optimism," actual people in the alternate space age of The Future That Never Was outdid themselves in ways to call things bad. Here follow just a few of the ingenious English insults from Mercury to Pluto:

Airhead: Insulting name for a person, implying that they're stupid or empty-headed

Bag your face: An insult calling a person ugly

Barf bag: Ugly

Barf me out: Exclamation stating that something or someone disgusts you

Bite me: An aggressive rejection

Blar: Disgust

Bogus: Bad, undesirable

Chicken: Cowardly

Clydesdale: Someone large and unattractive

Dip: A foolish person

Ditz: An unintelligent person

Dweeb: Similar in use to the word dork, but specific to a nerdy person.

Harsh: Unpleasant

Heinous: Severely unpleasant

Lame: Uncool, boring

Mall-maggot or Mallrat: Young, unpleasant person who hangs out in an orbital mall

Mental: Crazy

Mung: Disgusting thing

Narbo: Idiot,

Ooglay: Extremely ugly

So '57: Out of date

Techno-cadet: Clueless, ditzy person

Spaz: Lame, unattractive

Wannabe: Someone who wants to achieve or be of a certain class but can't

Warped: Twisted, messed up

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Zéphyr's Excellent Praise Corner

The colonization of the solar system by American settlers was rich with ways to show approval, too. Multiple subcultures contributed, as well as a cross-cultural trend toward hyperbolic, multisyllabic, deliberately old-fashioned slang - like "bodacious" and "most triumphant" - to describe minor successes like landing on an asteroid or killing a wanted man.

Bad to the bone: Cool, stylish

Betty: An attractive woman

BFF: Acronym for Best Friend Forever

Brill: Positive, short for "brilliant"

Choice: High-quality, attractive

Clutch: Successful, especially at an important moment

Deadly: Stylish, cool

Fave: Shortened form of "favorite"

Fine: Attractive

Fly: Looking good

Fresh: Stylish, exciting and new

Funky fresh: Stylish, exciting, especially in reference to music

Glam: Well-dressed, beautiful, short for "glamorous"

Homeboy: Male friend

Homegirl: Female friend

Legit: Cool, real

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That's all for today! See ya around!

This chapter will be updated with new slangs (and lore) later on.

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As for the dialects of the other worlds like the Deep Rings, Neosterdam or even the Kuiper Territories. Well... This is a tale for another time.