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(Chapter 54/6) Haze

The next morning came far too quickly for my liking. I couldn’t decide what part of my current situation was worse—The horrendously cold air, the fact that it was so dark that I could barely see my own hands, or the fact that Levi was already there and waiting.

Tulip had woken me up a little over half an hour ago, forcing me to get dressed in light clothing. Every shivering breath left mist to rise away from my mouth, I pulled tightly at my coat trying my best to keep warm despite the frigid air.

“I’m impressed, you’re both on time.” Levi spoke casually. His gaze shifting across me, and then towards Tulip, taking several moments on either of us.

“You said; ‘first thing in the morning,’” Tulip supplied with a shrug. “So I made sure we were here first thing.” She furthered.

“Whatever punishment we got couldn’t be worse than this cold…” I muttered. My shivering grew so intense that I could hear my own teeth rattling from it. “Ow—” I whined, feeling a stinging pain from Tulip smacking my shoulder.

“Don’t tempt him!” Tulip whispered indignantly. I felt my face flush despite the cold—Levi’s gaze settled even heavier upon me, his words came out slowly and succinctly.

“Believe me, you will appreciate this cold soon enough,” Levi said with narrowed eyes. “Lose the jacket, it will only get in the way.”

“But—” I complained quickly. But the instant Levi’s eyes narrowed again I fell silent—Groaning internally I relented to his order, slowly working my way out of my overcoat. I took as long as I reasonably could, cherishing the last of the warmth until it was neatly folded and set down on the ground.

Levi let out a sigh once I finished, shaking his head a little he turned to watch the horizon.

“Your physical well-being is just as, if not more important for your life as a mage as anything else. Until you are in other classes once the school takes flight in a few days, you will be focusing entirely on your exercises.” Levi spoke in a matter-of-fact voice.

“You will start today by running,” Levi spoke, looking back towards us.

I paused where I was, looking towards Tulip in confusion. She met my gaze with equal confusion in her eyes—But we didn’t hesitate to move when the very ground underneath us shifted to Levi’s voice.

“NOW!” Levi’s words boomed out from him. The ground under my feet lurched forwards—I stumbled, nearly losing my balance before fear took over. I took off sprinting, running as quickly as I physically could while the earth rumbled.

“Five laps around the training grounds!” Levi shouted out. Despite the increasing distance his voice didn’t grow even the slightest bit quieter. The ground continued to move around, shifting, quaking, breaking apart—It split open a few paces in front of me, forcing me into a sharp turn to avoid a crag of stone twice the size of me.

I cast my gaze around, searching for Tulip—But I couldn’t find her anywhere. The darkness was so intense that I still could barely see more than a foot in front of me, only the faint outlines illuminated by the dimming moonlight could be made out. And those outlines were far from enough to avoid the worst of the obstacles Levi created.

The entire training grounds were thrown into chaos. The normally flat and even landscape tore itself asunder, jagged crags of rock and dust shot into the air—Some floating a few feet off of the ground while others sat embedded in the stone at obtuse angles.

I couldn’t even take the obstacles at a slower pace. Every time I began to slow from a dead sprint to a quickened jog the ground would rumble, screaming its threats to harm me to a far greater level than the sharpened edges ever could.

“If you cannot complete these laps then you are not worth the effort of being trained!” Levi shouted in the same instant that a massive wall of stone rocketed out of the ground in front of me.

I clenched my jaw down hard, bracing myself for an impact as I threw myself to the side—I barely escaped the majority of the pillar of stone, only bumping my shoulder into it. I felt a sharp twinge of pain shoot through my body, the impact nearly sending me sprawling. I only managed to catch myself by taking a longer step, forcing my weight back with another heavy step to continue my sprint.

I tried to reach into my body, to reach for my mana to assist in my sprint. It had to help, right? I was able to keep up with Geldin with it, even fight with Andrew, but as if he was reading my mind Levi’s newest orders barked out.

“Do not use your magic! If you rely entirely upon your mana then you will be incapable of training your body to keep up with it!” Despite the fact that I was easily over two hundred feet away from Levi his voice was just as loud as when I was next to him. I slowly turned as the edge of the training grounds came into sight—Turning much harder when more walls of rock came to block my path.

I grit my teeth from his words, my faint grip over my mana loosening as I leaned forwards and ran even harder.

My breathing was already rugged and uneven, each forceful exhale that came with the pounding of my legs into the ground was replaced by a shallow inhale that couldn’t keep up. My vision grew blurry as I ran, the edges of my sight darkening while I did everything I could to focus on my path ahead.

The longer I ran the less the terrain seemed to be against me, I wasn’t sure if it was just in my head or if Levi was actively making the terrain easier. But “easier” didn’t mean it was suddenly easy.

The terrain grew less volatile, yes, but it didn’t become easier to run through. Levi shifted the ground around, forcing me to run at a constant incline that slowed me even further than the obstacles could.

I finally pulled around the third turn of my first lap—I nearly fell down when I did. Levi shifted the ground around, forcing the constant uphill sprint into a downwards tumble that I had to fight against desperately just to stand straight.

I barely managed to catch myself as the first lap ended. The ground returned to a flat and even plane. My lungs felt like they were on fire, each breath I forced into my lungs left the feeling of a burning, aching muscle being stretched beyond its limits.

“Is that all you can do?!” Levi boomed as I began my second lap. “I’ve seen cripples run better than this! How can either of you expect to keep up with the rest of your colleagues at this rate?!”

I grit my teeth in response to Levi’s jests, clenching my jaw tightly I forced any last vestiges of energy out.

“Faster.” I thought desperately. I felt lightheaded from my sprint; my vision blurred while pain induced tears blocked up what little vision I had left. Stone shards were floating all around me, but I ran straight through them. Each pounding beat of my heart sent my legs shooting down into the ground, every desperate gasp filled my lungs with just enough cold air to send me surging forwards for another step.

I felt sweat freezing along my brow, my frigid morning air gave me just a little more energy to keep pushing. I hardly even felt the sharpened rocks beating against my numbed skin on the second lap, and by the time my third lap came to an end I could barely feel any part of my body.

“That’s enough.” Levi spoke when I came panting by him. It took me several moments to register his words—And even more moments afterwards to come to a panting stop.

“That… was only… three laps?...” I asked, barely able to turn my head towards Levi. I was utterly exhausted already, my body was covered with thin cuts and deep bruises all over. Every breath I tried to take in sent aches rushing through me, my legs couldn’t be forced to support my weight for a moment longer—Giving out underneath me as I fell to the ground.

“You’re both too slow,” He stated bluntly, an angered tone followed every word he spat out. Levi’s gaze moved away from me, narrowing on Tulip once she came to a stop a few moments later than me. “You lack the physical endurance for the most basic of tests, so now you will be pushed even harder. This process will repeat until the both of you meet my expectations.”

“What… are your… expectations?...” Tulip asked as she limped over. She was covered in far more cuts and bruises than I was, parts of her clothes were torn, there was even a large gash cutting into her shoulder that was bleeding decently. Yet despite all of that, she didn’t seem anywhere near as exhausted as I was.

“That you will both prove to be worth my effort. But in this current moment you are not,” Levi’s blunt voice remained unchanged. “You are both capable with magic, but a mage cannot rely solely upon magic. It is merely a weapon in your arsenal, it should not be relied upon any more than your blade.”

“Because of this, I will be beating you down until you can both be rebuilt. Exercise is done for today, meditate and press at your barriers until midday. Then you will be free to do as you please. I recommend that you use that time to bring your paperwork to my office to join other classes.” Levi finally finished speaking. He slowly turned and began to walk away, leaving Tulip and I in absolute silence.

I clenched my jaw down and accepted his orders, forcing my body into a moderately comfortable position. I let my eyes close, my racing heart refused to settle for several long minutes, but when it finally did I found control over my mana again.

“You’re just listening to him like that?” Tulip gawked.

“Why should I argue?... He’s training us, isn’t he?” I replied without opening my eyes. Tulip muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t quite make out, but I could hear her sit down next to me all the same. “This is still easier than the things I’ve been through before anyways. Better food, better rest, and an actual purpose for it.”

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“I guess…” Tulip sighed out, leaving silence to fill the air between us.

“Hand-to-hand combat.” Levi spoke confidently. Gone was his aggressive tone of the previous morning, now replaced with a sense of a calm, but not quite gentle teacher.

The next day came far faster than I ever would have liked it to—Once again we met Levi outside in the training grounds before the sun even began to rise in the distance, listening to his newest lesson.

“Every Arcadian Mage is expected to be capable with a multitude of weapons, however, if you are the weapon then you can never be truly disarmed.” Levi began slowly. His gaze shifted between Tulip, and then over to me while he spoke further. “There are three rules to hand-to-hand combat training: You are not to purposefully break bones in your partner, you are not to maim your partner in any way, and victory is achieved by knocking your partner out, or pushing them outside of the circle.”

“Is that understood?” he finally asked with a nod to us.

“Yes.” Tulip answered, her gaze moved around the ground between the two of us.

“I think so…” I supplied, anxiously eyeing the small arena that had been made. It was a circular outcropping of stone raised a few inches above the rest of the ground, probably around thirty feet along the entire edge; it was far from a large arena. It was going to force the two of us to stay close together.

“Then begin when you’re ready.” Levi stated as he stepped back, freeing the entire arena for Tulip and me to face off against each other.

Tulip effortlessly fell into a well practiced stance. Her torso centered between her legs to spread her weight evenly, her arms raised before her in a loose guard, and her eyes narrowing onto mine.

I spent a moment trying to find my own stance—I could feel my weight pressing heavily onto my back leg, while my arms raised forwards into a tight guard. I met Tulip’s gaze, and without a word we began.

Tulip started with a tight twist of her upper body, flashing forwards with a quick jab that I blocked with crossed arms. She had weight and height on me, two things that I could immediately tell with how her blow hit me from a range that I couldn’t hope to match.

Another jab came at me from the side, hooking around, it got behind my raised arms and nailed me in the ribs. My teeth clenched down in pain, my left arm shifted to try and lock Tulip in close to me just for her to turn, twisting as she swung her front leg into my foremost knee while shoving me back. She effortlessly sent me to the ground while all I could do was try and keep myself together.

Still holding onto her arm I kicked my legs up, twisting around Tulip’s body as I pulled her down with me—But she had far more physical strength, easily wrestling me into submission she looped my raised leg between her locked arm and her neck. Using her leverage she pressed forwards into I let out a shout of pain.

“Ow, ow ow!” I let out. I was frantically tapping the ground as she shoved forwards with her legs, sending me rolling out of the arena where I fell once again flat onto my back.

“And Tulip is the victory,” Levi stated with an annoyed voice. “Your technique is abysmal Kirin. Every move you made was exaggerated, over extended and played directly against how your body is built.”

“And how am I supposed to know that?...” I groaned out as I pushed myself away from the small platform. Sitting up I raised an arm to the back of my head, rubbing the sore spot that had hit the ground twice in quick succession. “Incase you didn’t know I haven’t fought before. Everything that happened with the Elves was stupid luck…”

“Indeed it was luck that you survived,” Levi agreed with a snort. “Another round, slower this time. I will tell you what to change as we go.”

Tulip remained silent, her lips narrowed into a thin line as she glanced between me and Levi. It looked like she wanted to say something, but she kept silent. Instead she just gave a sorrowful shake of her head towards me once I got up, climbing back into the arena.

I found my way into a stance once again, but before the first step could even be taken Levi spoke.

“Stop,” He stated firmly. Taking a step forward he stood next to me, observing the stance I was now very uncomfortably waiting in. “Shift your weight forwards between your legs. Move your arms further from your body in your guard. Don’t hold your head in a lowered position, it makes it an easier target, and makes it far easier to land a knockout blow.”

As I moved my weight around Levi pushed me around, extending an arm he kept shoving me to and fro until I could remain standing from his shoves. Next he did very light, but terrifyingly fast jabs until my arms remained where he wanted.

“Leave the stance.” Levi commanded. After a moment's hesitation I listened to his words, straightening my back and returning to a normal standing position.

“Return.” Levi commanded again. I tried my best to find my way back into the stance on my own, but he kept finding imperfections—And he kept repeating this process several times until he let out a heavy sigh.

“Begin your meditation for the day. It is hopeless to continue this today.” Levi ordered. I blinked several times from Levi’s words. His gentle tone turned harsh and berating in an instant as he walked away without a word.

“Did I do something wrong?...” I asked as I glanced at Tulip.

“I don’t know…” She answered, equally unsure herself. “I’m not sure what he’s up to, but this is… different for him.”

I couldn’t help but sigh as I heard that. I could already imagine a few reasons why it was happening, it was easy to assume.

“He just hates me already…” I thought as I sat down to meditate.

“FASTER!” Levi’s voice sounded less like a human and more like a wild animal. His screaming, berating shouts only grew worse as the days went on—I was starting to see a schedule that he was teaching us with. The first day would utterly exhaust us, sending us running until we couldn’t stand anymore. The next would be hand-to-hand combat where he relentlessly picked me out, every little imperfect mistake I made turned into a tirade of him correcting my actions and telling me just how I was failing at something.

“Not fast enough, are you even trying to finish these laps?”

“How can you keep forgetting about your hands? Did they just grow on you last week?”

“Even manaless beasts are faster than that!”

My mind returned to where I was in the moment, running as fast as I possibly could. Every step I took the ground attempted to betray me, softening in a position just to grow harder around my foot once it sunk in to try and hold me in place.

In the air jagged stones floated, rushing around, crashing into my body as I ran—None of them hit anywhere important, but they always hit with enough force to be painful. But I grit my teeth and kept running, this is what today had been. Running impossible laps until Levi was satisfied with the time we finished in.

Tulip had managed to finish over an hour ago—She was sitting not too far away from where I was currently running. Despite the fact that I had finished my lap before her, Levi said it wasn’t good enough and made me keep running.

I turned a corner as a massive stone wall shot out of the ground. I barely kept my balance and kept sprinting, I couldn’t even feel the pain screaming in my legs, or the exhaustion in my lungs. I kept running just for spite, just for the boiling anger that kept building up while I ran.

Each step fell faster than the last one, it felt like for a moment I was going to make it—I ran past Levi, barely catching myself from flailing to the ground as I slowed. Each breath came out as a heavy heave, my gaze slowly moved to Levi, hoping, praying for some kind of recognition. But all I saw was annoyance.

“Is that really the best you can do?” He spat out, bile filling every word that left his mouth. “That was still pathetic, you can’t even manage to keep yourself together in a sprint. You can’t even manage to beat an easy course.”

“Why?...” I asked as Levi’s words reached me. “Why… why are you doing this to me? Can’t you see that I’m trying? Can’t you see that I’m putting everything I have into this? It’s been six days and you haven’t given me a single break! How am I supposed to reach these expectations you have when you can’t even tell me what they are?” I let out, my lungs burned with each word I shouted at Levi. My back ached as I stood up as tall as I could, defiantly meeting his now hate-filled gaze once it settled upon me.

“Why?” Levi asked in return. “I do this because you found your way into being my student. And yet all you are capable of is disappointing me, what goals do you even have to work for? You lack any sense of a drive to keep pushing for the horizon, and because of that you are nothing. I was clearly wrong when I compared you to Tulip.”

I froze from Levi’s words. Tulip herself was now looking this way—Worry filled her eyes while tears welled up in mine. My heart was pounding, not from the run anymore, but from the emotion boiling through me. Why did he have to treat me like this? What was the point of it?

But I couldn’t muster up any words. Standing before me was a calamity, a living catastrophe. My defiance would be like trying to stand against a mountain range, my defiance would be my death. The hatred, the unbridled intent to kill, I could feel all of it from Levi.

And I felt it all the more as his mana rushed out, washing over me. I could feel the pressure upon me, I could feel every ounce of his mana pressed against me. Forcing me down, trying to subdue me, trying to beat me back down into the pit of despair I desperately clawed and grasped at the walls of every day just to keep myself alive.

I let my own mana out, not in defiance, but in defense—It was protection, it was safety. And it meant nothing in the face of a monster like Levi.

“You lack commitment. Your goals, if you even have them, are selfish. Self centered and vain,” Levi’s words carried venom behind them. Every syllable pressed against the thin veil of mana I desperately tried to raise in defense of his assault. “You lack any reason to be trained, so tell me, why should I train you?”

I froze where I stood. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move my jaw. What happened? Had I just read Levi wrong when he let me live? Was it just morbid curiosity from him? Was his mercy just an excuse to torture me?

I felt tears rushing into my eyes. I couldn’t raise my head to meet Levi’s gaze, he felt so impossibly tall—He felt so impossible to stand next to. I was nothing, I was just a pebble, no, just a speck of dust in the face of a mountain. So miniscule that I could be glanced over and thrown to the side.

My gaze shifted towards Tulip, I was desperate for any help. But she remained seated, her face paled, and her gaze narrowed into a glare centered on Levi. Tulip was just as stuck, just as frozen as I was.

“I… I can’t do anything…” I thought hopelessly. The tears that clung desperately inside my eyelids began to fall, spreading and scattered across the ground. I felt mana rush through my body, and I ran—I ran as fast as I could, I left charred marks in the ground in my wake as electric shocks zapped the earth sterile.

I never heard a word from Levi, Tulip however, I could hear. She screamed my name in desperation as I left, but I couldn’t stand around and listen to it. I ran and ran, leaving a trail of tears and singed ground in my wake. I didn’t stop, not until the sun was nearing the distant horizon—Despite my speed I was still well within the limits of the massive island. I was just far, far away from the school now, deep inside a forest that surrounded the back end of it.

Finally, I let it all out once I found my way there—I felt tears rush down my face. I felt vulnerable, I felt horrified, I felt alone. I was an unwanted alien in this world of magic, hated by everyone other than Tulip and maybe Anestesia.

I fell to the ground, pulling my knees tight to my chest as I desperately sobbed. I tried my best to keep everything bottled up, to keep it all locked away ever since I saw the open sky again. I buried my face into my knees, trying to forget the world, and I did.

I was so lost in my emotions that I didn’t even hear the footsteps as they approached me. Not until they were right next to me—I glanced up, expecting to see Tulip, dreading to see Levi, but neither of them stood before me.

Instead it was an older woman. Her head was decorated with rich purple hair, her eyes a deep shade of violet to accent it. Her gaze didn’t feel pervasive, judgemental, or even cruel. It felt far more, gentle, maybe even concerned.

“Are you alright?”