The sun was already crawling down across the horizon by the time I ascended the last few steps. The golden-orange rays of twilight hung heavily in the air, casting long shadows throughout the island while the warm air was quickly cooling into a crisp night time atmosphere.

“Finally…” I sighed out in a heavy breath. I felt a dull ache resounding from my chest, both from being elbowed earlier and the constant physical exertion all day. My hair felt wet and sticky as it clung tightly against my shoulders, the rest of my body felt much the same honestly.

“I need a bath…” I grumbled my annoyances aloud as I began walking—Pausing only when I heard the discontent yip from Akemi. I halted mid step, turning to look at the Kitsune curiously.

“Something wrong?” I asked in a soft tone.

The white furred Kitsune gave another yip before she began to pace around. She circled a small area several times before beginning to paw at the raw dirt, giving another yip as she looked up at me.

“I have no idea what that means…” I said dumbfounded. Akemi growled a little, opening and closing her mouth several times as if she was chewing something before yipping again.

“Ooh! Are you hungry?” I offered. She gave an excited series of yips, jumping up and down before trotting over to me with all three tails wagging. “Alright, we can get some food then… lunch got cut short for me anyways.”

“Come on,” I spoke as I turned around. Akemi however didn’t wait, she began to quickly trot ahead of me with her head raised skyward, her tails still wagging. “Wait up!—You don’t even know where the food court is!

I laughed happily as I followed the Kitsune—She gave an impatient yip to my words, demanding me to hurry up until her own yips turned into joyous laughter while we both made our way into the school together.

When we did eventually make it all the way to the dining hall I was content to sit down near the back of the room again. It was nearly empty, but that much was to be expected at the time of night we arrived into it—But there were still plates upon plates of food sitting out to be taken.

However despite that I was almost worried that there wouldn’t be enough with how much Akemi was eating. She devoured her way through plate after plate of food, I didn’t even understand how she kept eating after consuming an entire slab of meat that was as big as her! It felt like I was sitting there for hours, just watching with some bizarre mixture of amazement and horror at the Kitsune’s appetite.

By the time the Kitsune finally satiated her ravenous appetite there were over a dozen emptied plates around her—Meanwhile only a single empty plate sat on the table before me.

“Are you done finally?” I asked with a worried tone.

Akemi let out a small huff as her pleading eyes settled onto me. She grumbled her discontent but shakily stood up, padding over the table towards me.

“Nuh-uh, you can walk all that off,” I said firmly as I stood up. “I’m not gonna let you get fat. After all, I don't think that will help you ascend, now will it?” I poised my pointed question to the Kitsune. Faux betrayal flashed through her widening eyes—They pleaded for me to reconsider, but I stood steadfast until Akemi finally relented with an exaggerated huff.

“Don’t worry, I expect you to do the same to me.” I smirked at Akemi. Reaching out my hand, I offered a soft chin scratch to her before she made her way down from the top of the table to follow me once more.

Side by side, we finally began our way back to the dorm. The walk was quite quick compared to what it usually was when making my way through the school during the day, the packed halls were practically empty bar the sparse group of other students with later training hours.

Turning a last corner I reached a hand forwards, pressing the door to the dorm room opened slowly. I could already hear the soft snoring from Tulip as I stepped lightly into the room, holding the door opened just enough for Akemi to squeeze through before pressing it shut.

“Guess she’s out already…” I thought to myself as I walked closer to my bed. I spared a glance over to Tulip, she was already fast asleep wrapped up underneath her covers and facing towards the wall. Topaz, her six winged owl was sitting on the headboard of her bed. His head turned calmly, watching me with his yellow eyes.

“I’m exhausted…” I sighed as I took off my overcoat, barely even giving myself enough time to kick off my shoes before I was rolled over into my bed. My body ached and my mind was still racing, trying to recover from the fight that had taken place hours ago now.

“How does Carmine expect me to beat that thing?…” I wondered silently to myself. Pulling the covers up over my body I felt the tension in my back finally releasing a little—I could also feel the small, fluffy beast who invited herself up next to me.

I felt Akemi slide under my arm, resting herself on top of the blankets covering my chest. I felt a smile crawl across my face as I reached a hand up, scratching the Kitsune gently.

“Night, Akemi.” I spoke softly—Opting to leave my worries to the next day as my eyes fell shut and dreams took over my mind.

—

“How are you both doing?” I heard a distant voice call, like a familiar echo from a few rooms away, all I could make out was a distinct masculinity to it. Everything was dark even when my eyes opened, I felt something heavy and warm pressed against my body from all sides. It was… soothing, calming, maybe even familiar?

“Hush, she just fell asleep.” Another voice—A feminine one—Spoke gently. It sounded like she was right next to me, maybe only a foot away from me. It sounded so familiar that I could have sworn she was just singing a lullaby to me moments ago.

Everything remained silent after that. Aws it just seconds? Minutes? Hours? I didn’t know, I couldn’t get any feel for how much time passed—I only knew time had passed when a series of ragged coughs broke it and the masculine voice spoke in a panicked tone.

“Are you alright?!” The masculine voice was much closer now, almost as close as the feminine one.

“I-I’m fine… I’ll be fine…” The feminine voice spoke with a determined tone. But I could hear the exhaustion, even the pain behind that tone.

“Please, get some rest. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard lately.” The masculine voice pleaded desperately. Silence dragged itself into my ears as nothing but a distant, dull ringing filled my world for what felt like an eternity.

Whispered nothings reached my ears, incohesive words that held no meaning—I couldn’t focus on them, no matter how hard I tried to turn and thrash. No matter how hard I cried out I couldn’t reach the voices, they were so close—I was so close to them!

But, it was all for nothing. The blackness completely took over, my eyes fluttered open to greet reality once more.

The dorm room was pitch black—Not even moonlight dared to crawl in through the window as the darkness threatened to consume everything. It was so dark that I could only barely make out the outline of Akemi laying beside me, her chest rising and falling rhythmically in her peaceful slumber.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

I could still hear Tulip on the other side of the room, lost in her own peaceful slumber. I felt my heart pounding while my mind raced to hold onto the solemn details offered up to me from the land of dreams. But the fleeting moments of clarity were chased away with the pounding unease of my heart.

I began to sit up, pulling the covers away from me carefully so as to not disturb Akemi. I knew I wouldn’t be falling back to sleep easily after that—And force once it was within my grasp to get up and go for a walk, to just think.

Pulling my shoes on just enough to walk in them I began out of the dorm, closing the door quietly behind me. I just started walking, letting my legs guide my aimless march through the barren halls of the slumbering school. It left more than enough space for my mind to wander, grasping for any thin straws of details I could.

“Why can’t those dreams ever last longer?…” I thought silently to myself. Every time it felt like I could almost reach out and grab for the ideas that sat there, but they remained just out of my reach.

It was like a carrot dangling from the end of a stick attached to my head. Every step I took to move forwards brought it further and further away from me, it taunted me as it sat just close enough to smell, just close enough to taste, but just far enough that I couldn’t bite.

“Why can’t I remember anything clearly?” Almost my entire life was just a haze, a foggy sense of maybes that made up everything before the day I woke up in a stone jail cell. I could still remember verbatim what they said to me when I woke up.

“Kirin Vulender! Following the execution of your father, his crimes still remain not entirely punished. As such, until you are old enough to be put under trial in a Berinian court of law you shall serve a temporary sentence within these mines.” I couldn’t remember anything about the person who read that all out to me, but those words were forever ingrained into my mind. It was like a curse, anything before that moment was a fog, while everything past it was perfectly clear.

“I don’t even know their faces or voices…” my mind refused to stand still—Why couldn’t I remember a single detail about them? It seemed impossible, even Darek remembered his parents' faces when I asked him. Yet I couldn’t think of a single detail from them, I could imply a few, I could even remember a handful of things my Father said to me. But I couldn’t remember their faces or voices in the slightest.

“Why?...” I found myself asking aloud. I stood before the fountain in the main courtyard. Water sat spraying into the air, arched in such a way that even in the moonlight the distinct kaleidoscope of a rainbow reflected through the air. It all landed in a main pool at the feet of the statue.

It was nothing more than the featureless face, vaguely masculine but devoid of anything that made it a person. A memorial to a memory that no one remembered, a memorial to an idea.

White mist rose away from my mouth as I let out a sigh, the cold air actually felt refreshing for once. It cleared my mind, washing away the creeping exhaustion that still dug its vile claws into my body.

“Maybe you were real…” I mused to myself with a grim smile across my face. Who knew? Maybe the War Mage was real and was just forgotten—A lot could happen in the generations that passed since then, but it also seemed absurd. How could a legend like him be degraded into a mere myth if he had once walked among us?

I heard the distant click of footsteps approaching me, but my gaze remained locked on the featureless face of the statue. I could have sworn the statue was staring directly at me, the azure eyes and quizzical about me as I was about it.

As the footsteps drew closer I could feel the air warming. The cold was chased away as a comfortable heat settled across the courtyard—Daedrik stopping right next to me.

“Brrr… how do you go out in this weather dressed like that?” Daedrik asked in his jovial tone. He was far quieter now than he was during the ceremony, even speaking at a close to normal volume.

“It felt nice… woke me up enough to start thinking clearer.” I answered without turning my gaze away from the statue. I could see Daedrik’s face shift in the periphery of my vision, his face hardening as he nodded gently.

“What’s got you up this late? Monster under your bed?” He asked while offering a solution to his own question. Though his jovial tone had faded away.

“Just… dreams, memories—Or the lack thereof,” I sighed as I spoke, my gaze falling to the ground for several heartbeats. The silence festered in the air with only the splashing of the fountain breaking the stillness until I spoke again. “Do you remember your parents' faces? Their voices?” I asked, looking up to meet Daedrik’s gaze.

He looked surprised by my question—His eyes widened as he brought a hand up to his chin, stroking it gently.

“I can, quite clearly actually—Why ask?” Deadrik’s voice was quickly overcome by curiosity once he asked his own question.

“Because I can’t…” I answered plainly. Another heavy sigh broke free from me before I spoke again. “I can’t remember their faces, their voices, I can barely remember a few tiny things here and there. It’s like everything before the day I woke up in a prison cell just didn't happen.”

“Everything just feels even more distant the more I focus on it, then there’s night like tonight—I’ll just have a dream where I’ll remember a few miniscule things, maybe I’ll hear a few muffled words… maybe I’ll even hear full sentences but it’s never enough to remember the people they belonged to!” Emotion tok control of my words, my calm voice quickly rising into a self languishing shout.

“Interesting…” Daedrik muttered to himself. He didn’t react to my outburst directly, he instead just nodded along. “Quite the predicament to find yourself in as well, but why does it matter?” Daedrik poised his question, his emerald eyes settled upon me heavily as he did so.

I didn’t immediately answer—The shock of the question left me frozen in place. I couldn’t even think of an actual answer, only another question.

“Why shouldn’t it matter?” I finally asked. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes just at the thought of it—Why shouldn’t those memories matter?

“If they matter so much to you, then you must find a way to find them,” Daedrik answered coldly, yet his eyes remained soft and caring. “Why don’t you tell me what you do remember? Perhaps, speaking it aloud could help clear up some of that fog.” Daedrik made his offer, his gaze settling expectantly upon me.

“Or, if it’s easier for you, go and talk to that Princess. Or Miss Carmine, both of them should be more than willing to listen—And probably a better set of ears than this old geezer.” Daedrik added with a chuckle and a smile. Albeit his jovial tone hadn’t returned, it still held a certain seriousness to it that reaffirmed what he said.

“How can I even tell something so scattered?” I asked no one but myself. “Everything I do remember is so scattered around and mismatched that it’s impossible to make sense out of. Maybe I remember a few feelings?” I let out a huff. I was forced to raise my arm up, using the back of my wrist to wipe away the tears that were forming at the base of my eyes.

“Hmm…” Daedrik trailed off, nodding along to my words. “I am not quite certain on what you should do then, Kirin.” He slowly raised a hand, pointing his index finger towards me.

“Make your own path, if you don’t know the answer, then find it,” Daedrik gave a moment's pause, a small ember forming at the tip of his finger. “Find what drives you. From that, maybe you’ll find more answers—But you’re a smart girl, capable too. Now go get some rest, it’s rather late now and well past your bedtime.” Daedrik’s smile returned to his face as the fire flicked out of existence, leaving the cold night air to come rushing back in.

“Who would even have answers to that?…” I asked, desperate for even one answer tonight.

“Look to those who are close to you. You do have friends in high places already, and yet you haven’t thought to request a thing from them.” Daedrik answered simply. He turned his hand upwards as he turned around, waving over his shoulder kindly.

“Do take care, Kirin! I hope to see what you’re capable of when it comes down to it.” Once Daedrik’s words fell silent, so too did the world around me.

Only the fountain broke the peace, the gentle splashing of water like the heartbeat of the island. I looked down to the ground, feeling disappointed in myself.

“Why didn’t I think about asking Tulip?…” I wondered for a moment, but the answer came easily. It was simple—I just didn’t want to feel like I was using her, or relying on her like a shield.

“Maybe I can find something in the library…” I thought just to be cut off by a heavy yawn that escaped my lips. I could feel the exhaustion returning to my body, the few hours of rest that I had gotten were nowheres no enough for the next day.

“Tomorrow then.” I settled on as I started back the way I came. Tomorrow I could go to the library after Carmine’s lesson—Maybe there I could find something.