Leon looked at the list of targets he was supposed to visit before the true voyage began, aside from the stop at the Centauri system, they had twelve other stars they were supposed to visit along their way. Being relatively close to one another, Leon had made the decision to just knock them all off the list first and then strike it out on their own free and clear. Aside from the Sludge system, he shook his head at the memory, they had found nothing of note. Plenty of scenic pictures and brilliant photographs for sure, but nothing of real scientific import. He supposed it wasn't that odd considering how close they still were to Earth. All of these systems would be only a hundred years out of date at the very most.
They were about to enter the ninth such system. It was a smaller star with an irregular orbit suggesting that it had other large bodies orbiting it of some sort, though its luminosity dropped quite significantly every few days which the scientists back home found odd. Their goal with this system wasn't to find life, though he wouldn't pass up an opportunity if one arose, but instead to find the cause of the star's strange behavior.
Leon leaned back in his zero-gravity throne, the straps holding him in place digging into his shoulders after so many hours in place. While they spent the majority of their time down in the rings under weak gravity, the command crew needed to be on the bridge during warp transitions. It was tedious but insured that if anything were to go wrong, they would be there to fix it.
Leon cracked his knuckles quietly and rolled his neck, while now rather accustomed to the effects of zero gravity, it made the effects no less pleasant. The stuffy noses, the achy joints, he was glad that the rings were under some level of gravity because of the respite they gave.
Samuel spoke up suddenly saying "Nearing warp exit point, about five minutes. We will be dropping in the outer system."
Leon nodded to himself, there wasn't much chance of the system being inhabited and so they were dropping into the outer system to better gauge the situation. There was always the chance they would cross paths with an orbiting body, but the warp field was designed to drop them out of warp before they got deep into a large gravity well. He didn't understand exactly how it sensed the gravity well while they were in warp, but he knew that it was there for their safety.
Leon pulled up everything they knew about the system they were about to enter, it had been nicknamed Perplexos by the scientist who had discovered it. He had theorized that there might be some sort of orbiting interstellar gas that obscured the star every few months. While the theory was sound, there was only one way to be sure, and here they were.
"Alright, stay sharp. We don't know exactly what we have here. The best reading they could give us was somewhat fuzzy and our own readings from our last stop were inconclusive as the star was obscured at the time we scoped it out." Leon told the others.
Sabine turned to him and said "What is it you think?" He just shrugged to her and she turned to Terry. Terry glanced at her and then shrugged as well. "Well I think it's going to be a huge comet." She said.
Taylor looked over to her and said "I'll bet you it isn't."
Sabine rolled her eyes and said "And what are you betting? Dessert? Cause I can always go back for seconds." She said sarcastically.
Leon grinned at her remark, it was true that they didn't really have anything of value to trade with on the ship, well besides one thing.
"I'll bet you dish duty next time you or I cook." Taylor said triumphantly.
Leon watched as Sabine looked at her hands for a moment before she replied "You're on, but you didn't guess anything so I get two guesses." She said, folding her arms.
He saw Taylor shake his head and say "No way, that more than doubles your odds."
"It's the only way to make it even." She retorted quickly.
Taylor seemed to think about it deeply before sighing and saying "Fine, but what's your second guess?"
Sabine smiled widely and said "I guess it is either a giant comet or a protoplanetary nebula. Ha!" She finished with a laugh.
Taylor groaned and said "Auurrrgg, that's what I thought it was. Fine, deal is still on, but know this, I have double cook duty this week."
Sabine just smiled and turned back to her console. Leon was about to ask Taylor what he was planning to cook for lunch tomorrow when the yellow alert lights turned on. He refocused back onto the console in front of him and watched as the time ticked down towards zero. The inevitable feeling of wrongness to come made his stomach churn and he tried to relax himself as best he could.
With a tearing, twisting sensation as if his consciousness were being pulled apart while simultaneously crushed, the ship exited warped space. "I hate that." He grunted to himself. He heard a chuckle from one of the others, possibly Samuel, before Terry spoke up.
"Getting reading I don't really understand Commander. I'm not quite sure what that is." She said in her shy voice.
Leon pressed a few buttons to bring the main display up and his eyes opened wide when he saw the feed. The star was orange and sickly looking, covered in huge sunspots and seemingly bleeding. There was an ominous dark mass covering the lower half of the star from their view that seemed nebulous yet strangely solid.
As he watched a small solar flare erupted from the star and instead of falling back to the star's surface like he would have expected, it instead floated up and into the dark mass. As the glowing arc of hot plasma vanished, he looked at Terry open mouthed.
"What am I, what exactly am I looking at here Terry?” Leon asked her.
Terry shook her head slightly and responded “I'm not sure, It seems to be some sort of gaseous mass, but the density is too high. It is too large to be a gas giant and it's way too close.”
Taylor spoke up saying “Whatever it is its hot, not like the star but well into the hundreds of degrees. It seems to be spinning too according to these sensors.” he said pointing at a line of information on his console. He shuffled back into his seat a bit as he looked over the information.
Sabine said “Well, I think we can rule out a comet, but is it some sort of protoplanet?”
He heard Terry answer her saying “No, the density is much too high. It could be, no it's too close. Unless it was captured later…” She trailed off as she seemed to lose herself in deep thought.
Taylor leaned over towards her and Leon asked “What is it Terry, we should put all our ideas on the table.”
The woman turned and looked at him before glancing back at her console and saying “It is possible that this star captured a rogue brown dwarf sometime in its past. The brown dwarf is much too close though, it's not in a stable orbit. That's why it seems to be falling apart.” she pointed at the large forwards display and the dark nebulous mass that was the star and its dark partner.
Samuel looked at the screen and then spoke up “It looks like they are fighting each other.”
Leon cocked his head and watched as the two bodies exchanged streams of gas, the star losing great ropes of glowing ionised plasma and the dark mass of the super gas giant losing nebulous clouds of dark cooler gas. These clouds were the cause of the large sunspots mottling the surface of the star, as they impacted the surface, they cooled the surrounding plasma to such a degree that it appeared to turn dark. Though it was still hot, its luminosity dropped so significantly in comparison to the plasma surrounding it that it appeared black.
Leon poked a few buttons on his console as Terry answered “In all likelihood they are collapsing into each other. They will likely collide in the next few hundred years creating a new bigger blue straggler star from their combined mass. This new star will burn hotter and faster, likely exploding in a colossal supernova in a few million years.” Leon nodded his head as he heard her finish. It seemed his limited knowledge on stars was paying off as he understood a good ninety percent of what she had said.
“So there isn't any real danger here then?” Leon asked Terry.
She shook her head. “Not for a few hundred years at least. As long as we stay back here, nothing is going to hit us with enough strength to penetrate our radiation shields.”
He nodded his head to himself slightly. The system might be a bust for life but the visuals were stunning. He sat and watched as another long glowing rope burst from the star's surface and fell upwards towards the mass of the smaller brown dwarf. He understood that the brown dwarf might be smaller than the star, but was probably many dozens of times more massive than Jupiter.
Samuel looked over to him and asked “So, nothing happening here, are we sticking around or are we going to leave when the drive comes back online?”
Leon said “We are likely going to be heading out as soon as the drive is recharged. No point in hanging around here, even as magnificent as it is.” He looked again at the bright kaleidoscope of lights that was dancing before him. The powers at play there were enough to shatter planets, but it all looked so peaceful from this distance.
Samuel spoke up and said "Well, we are stuck here till the drive recharges so we might as well enjoy the view while we are here."
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
Leon saw the others nod and smiled, it was good to see the majority of the crew coming together. He started to unstrap and said "I think I'll head out till we are ready to depart. No reason why we all need to be here."
Sabine smiled and asked "Are you going to raid the pantry again?" And Terry giggled.
Leon snorted and said "No, and it was only one time. I was a little peckish. What's the harm in that?"
Taylor chuckled and said "You did that box of crackers plenty of harm."
Leon just shook his head and continued to make his way off the bridge. He disrobed from his voidsuit and hung it on its rack, the suits were rotated out every few days and cleaned. After taking care of his suit, he moved through the airlock and into the main body of the ship.
Pulling himself along the handholds, he checked his assistant for the location of a certain fellow crewmate and smiled as he saw the indicator in the gym. Moving to the second ring, he began the long descent into the simulated gravity well. He had grown noticeably more fit in the last few months due to his constant climbs and his new strength training. He made it to the bottom of the ladder with barely a sweat, a far cry from where he had started out.
As he started walking down the curving hall towards the gym, his mind was drawn to his motivation for being here. He had always aspired to go to space, which is why he had joined the military in the first place. But he had never been quite good enough to qualify for the position. He had always been number eleven out of ten, the closest to getting what he had always wanted. But here he was, doing more than he would have dreamed possible only a year ago. And for what reason, because he was good at conflict resolution? He knew there was more to it, there had to be.
His thoughts were interrupted as he reached his destination. The main opening to the UNSS Leif Erikson's gym was in front of him. He reached for the handle, but hesitated. He knew who was inside, and they would likely be pleased to see him. He was looking forward to this as well. But he shouldn't. He knew he was growing attached when he was supposed to be impartial, getting too close to the mission his old commander would have told him. But after his death and subsequent reconstruction, he had been discharged from active duty.
As a civilian he had been untethered and free to make his own destiny, but he had been farther from his dream. There was even less of a chance to get to space in the private sector than in the military. He could have tried to apply to one of the old space companies or maybe go for a commercial gig as a spaceplane operator, but it wouldn't have been the same. He would not have been making any meaningful contributions doing such things, and so he had resigned himself to the simple life of early retirement. His government pension due to his catastrophic injuries would have seen him set for life, living comfortably, maybe able to travel the world. But when a strange man had come and offered him everything he had ever wanted and more, who was he to say no.
Leon pulled open the door slowly, he had been given this opportunity after being given a second chance at life. He was not the idealistic young man he had been before. He was grizzled, toughened. Physically and mentally, he knew how to fix problems and how to get things done. But what of himself, was he in need of fixing? Sure he was a capable crew member, but he wasn't as valuable to the mission itself as Terry or Myung. They both had a purpose, and had meaning. He was just the overseer, there to keep the peace and provide a sense of authority.
He sighed as he stepped through the door into the room. He would maintain the facade a while longer then, he walked over towards the weight racks without looking towards the one who he knew was there. She would approach him on her own in a few moments anyways, she always did.
He grabbed a set of twenty-kilogram weights, they looked oversized and too heavy for him to lift, but due to the ship's lower gravity, they only weighed seventy percent of what they would have on Earth. They still had the inertia of twenty-kilogram weights however so he still needed to be careful to not pull a muscle. He sat back along one of the many padded benches and began a series of mild strength training exercises.
Sure enough, after a minute of exercise he heard footsteps approaching him. "Fancy seeing you here, aren't you supposed to be on the bridge monitoring for points of interest?" A female voice said behind him.
Leon smiled and sat upright. He looked at Natalia while still holding his weights. "And I'm sure you aren't surprised to see me here, seeing as you always manage to be where I end up." He said as he raised an eyebrow at her.
She laughed and said "I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. If I didn't know any better I would suspect you were following me…" she trailed off.
Leon waved his right arm at her, weight in hand. "No way, I was down on the bridge, came down to do my daily strength training. As you can see, I was in the middle of it here." He said, again gesturing with the weight.
She looked at his right arm and said "So why do you even need to train that arm, it seems plenty strong on its own."
Leon shrugged as he looked down at his arm. He moved it a bit and replied "It's less to do with the arm and with the muscles attached to the arm. The muscles may be supplemented by the cybernetics, but the muscles still need exercise. That's what my physical therapist told me back then at least." He set the weights down and swung his leg over the bench to sit on it sideways.
Natalia figited a bit before she responded. "I know that you said you needed to keep your distance. But you make it hard for me to do the same. Every time I see you it's…" she started to creep a little closer to him, he sat on the bench impassively. A slight smile on his face. He saw her take a deep breath before she spoke again. "I saw you, when you first walked into that room in the conference hall all those months ago. You, you looked so bright, excited and happy. I felt, strangely drawn to you." She said as she moved to sit on the bench a small distance from him.
Leon looked away, he was conflicted. She was beautiful, smart, and above all, deeply interested in him. He knew he was being cruel by keeping her away, but he had to. If he let her in, he didn't think he would be able to let her go again. So he spoke "I saw you that first day as well. But I didn't see the same thing, I saw a person of conflict, possibly a detriment to our mission. You had a negativity about you that made me distrust you. As we trained I saw through your armor, but first impressions are hard to break." It was true, but it was still a cruel thing to say. Especially after she was so honest with him.
Leon jerked slightly as he felt her place a hand on his left shoulder. She said "I know why you are saying that. You want to push me away, make me hate you. It wont work, your walls are crumbling. Come, I can help you rebuild them, make them strong once more."
Leon shook his head and muttered quietly. He reached up and removed her hand from his shoulder. Turning to look into her eyes he said "I can't, you know why. I can't lie to myself and say that part of me doesn't harbor something for you, but I need to maintain my position on this ship. I can't break that commitment. If I do then, who am I?" He asked her pleadingly.
She sighed and stood, turning her back to him. He heard her say "You would finally be yourself, and not what the military made you."
Her words speared him through the heart and he inhaled sharply. He knew she was correct. There was nothing stopping him, nothing but himself. And for whatever reason that was enough. His hand twitched as he started to reach out to her, but he stopped himself. He would stay true to his position, he would maintain his impartiality. What if the ship was in danger and he needed to make a choice between her and another crewmember. Would he be able to do it? He wasn't sure, but he knew he should keep himself from making it any harder.
She turned back to look at him as he struggled with his internal dilemma. She knew him well enough by now to know he was struggling with himself, but she said nothing. Instead she gave him a small sad smile that somehow hurt him more than it should have. It was a look that said 'You're hurting me, but I love you enough to ignore it.' He hated himself for treating her like that 'She was an incredible woman, really she was.' He thought to himself. But he mustered himself and shook his head.
"I understand how you feel Natalia. And all I can say is it wont work at this time." Leon muttered without looking at her.
He heard her breath heavily as she asked curiously "At this time? Hmm, what happened to never? Are you cracking Leon?"
He chuckled darkly at her observation. "You are everything a man could want, truly. It's not you that's the problem, it's my own psyche that's holding us apart. As much as I hate myself to say it, give me more time. Things may resolve themselves eventually." He looked up into her face and was startled to see tears in her eyes. It made him feel even worse inside.
"Oh, Leon…" she began in a slightly choked voice, but he cut her off.
"Natalia, what if you get hurt. What if I have to make the hard decision? We put the rest of the crew at risk even by being close friends, much less more. I have to think about the mission, the mission that was entrusted to me, to you, to all of us." He said suddenly.
She looked at him blankly, not grasping his comments for a moment. As she understood, her brows furrowed in anger. He watched as she put her hands on her hips and tsked through her teeth.
She looked him over and then berated "Is that what you are really afraid of? Because I know you Leon, possibly even better than you do. Remember, it's my job to be able to read people, to see through the lies they tell themselves to sleep at night. To dig down through the muck and filth to their shining core. And the Leon I know would not hesitate to make the right decision, no matter the cost to himself." She finished heatedly.
Leon stood and took a step towards her but stopped himself. He looked down to the floor and then said "I am directly responsible for the death of one friend, no more. I can't lose friends I don't have." He admitted.
She nodded her head. "And there it is, the truth of the matter. You think you deserve punishment for what you did, as though it was such a heinous crime that you can never be forgiven? How many years ago was it Leon? How long have you carried this grief? Let it go, let your friend rest." She begged him.
Leon turned his head and raised his right arm, flexing his hand he said "This hurts you know? Every second of every day. It's a constant reminder of what happens when I let myself get distracted. Why I will not let myself become attached. I… I think part of me could love you. But the rest of me was lost that day, amid the fire and death. The part of me that matters most is gone, that man I will never be again." He admitted to her as he turned and sat once more.
He rested his head in his hands. It wasn't a lie, his whole right side still ached all the time. The doctors had said it was a type of phantom pain, a psychosomatic feeling brought about by his mind's inability to truly cope with his loss. He felt rather than heard her move towards him and sit by his side, much closer this time.
She leaned over and hugged his left side, but he didn't pull away. He didn't have the strength to resist her anymore. Maybe it was for the best, she had drawn him in, he had told her things he had never admitted to anyone. His darkest thoughts, his deepest secrets. He knew she would understand, and that fact alone made him not want to fall for her. He would drag her down to his level, but she continued to insist she was strong enough to pull him out of the hole he lived in. He was too afraid to try, and it was his unadmitted love for her that fed his growing terror.
She rested her head on his shoulder as he cried into his hands. He was a man, strong and resilient. But he couldn't stop himself around her, she saw through his facade, bored holes through his armour. He cried for a long time and before he realised it, she had his head in her lap. As she stroked his hair, he began to calm down.
She made him feel vulnerable yes, but above all she made him feel safe. Comfortable and happy. As he lay there he realised he wouldn't be able to say no if she asked him to accept her love again. And it was a measure of her respect for him that she remained silent. He closed his eyes as the tears subsided, she was right. He needed to let go of the past, the anchors of his memories had weighed him down for decades, but no more. As he made the decision, he felt free, as though he had broken through the surface of a pool he had been drowning in forever. His breathing slowed and he relaxed, Natalia twirled a lock of his blond hair in her fingers and she stroked his head gently. The soothing feeling mixed with his new sense of inner peace lulled him into sleep, he drifted off, thoughts and fears evaporating away into a cloud of bliss and happiness.