"Tell me, please, or at least how about we talk about what brought you here? Inside this death trap, surrounded and outnumbered even. There's gotta be something worth taking such risks for right? Something worth staying alone for years."

I chose the lesser of two evils when it comes to what I chose to answer, I rather ease myself into the conversation around talking about my background.

"This death trap you're talking about is my home of about three years. The 11th floor all the way to the roof is secured tightly by me and the survivors who once lived here. I much rather secure the building over and over again than leave all the supplies and work we put into this building…” Cable's body finally relaxed a bit.

"The ghosts of my friends and past allies haunt these halls adding a layer of sentiment to the building itself; some rooms bring a sense of happiness, some rooms... Some rooms bring a sense of immense hurt... The room we cleared today was one of them." curiosity once again plagued cable's expression. As he asked his next question pulling off his mask and mounted it on the side of his head. He was breaking my walls down slowly but surely.

“What happened to those members and What happened in that room? If you don't mind sharing, that is."

“It's the same thing that happens to any normal survivor group… Some die fighting for their home, some die scavenging for their home, some never return and are assumed dead, some return only turn, and some choose to go out on their own terms.”

“Oh…” cable stared at the ground as we came to take a seat in one of the common areas on floor 12. I sank back in my seat crossing my legs as I did so. Recounting my memories as I told him the truth… telling him what he wanted to know.

“A dear friend and fellow survivor killed herself in that room. The grief of losing her brother the day before outweighed her will to survive alongside me… it hurt more than anything to have to clean her body out of the room and bury it… she was the smartest woman I’ve ever met… she set up the pulley elevator, the electric fence, came up with the barricade layouts, and even designed a silent alarm system that only sounds off up here. She was brilliant and kind. She was the one who helped me quit smoking the first time… her death made me start again but I've been fighting to quit before… whatever.” I wanted to curl up and die but I knew there was no use being secretive… nowadays people lose loved ones and friends to packs of dead-os and it's supposed to be understood as the new normal part of life. Some can't handle that fact and chose to end it all, not to deal with it.

“I didn't know…I'm… so sorry. It must have been such a traumatizing thing to go through… damn. Now your reaction makes a lot of sense.”

Yep.”

“Now for a more break-neck question… I will understand if you choose not to answer okay?” I figured it was going to be him asking me to marry him again.

“Okay?” I nodded apprehensively.

“Are you suicidal? More so… did you try to kill yourself? Recently I mean.”

“...” my heart was in my throat. I never expected it... That was a hard question to stomach… and I didn't know if I wanted to answer him. But I knew I most likely would.

“I'm not judging if you have or did. I used to be a crisis counselor before I joined the army… I heard stories day in and day out. I'd do my best at talking them down but the calls I received never ended the way I wished they would… so I switched to a more physical roundabout way of protecting those too weak to see a reason worth living or the light at the end of the tunnel. But then I went from hearing people slip through my fingers to seeing them. I just don’t wanna see another light fade.” I rolled up my sleeves and exposed my scarred arms.

"Funnily enough… I've tried over and over to cut life short. Literally. But I wasn’t interested in the pain that followed, and if you had broken into the building any later… and I mean a minute later I would have used the same gun Leeah did to join her and her brother wherever their souls may be…”

“Well, I’ll be damned… I saved you once already.”

“Well… more like twice. Last night you were supposed to sleep in your own bed so that my trip to the roof would be a quick and easy one but you followed me… fate has a funny way of setting you on a more ‘deserving’ path, my only question was what path does meeting you lead?" I shrugged and kept my eyes glued to the floor not wanting to see the disappointment that was possibly living on his face.

Cable appeared to listen politely to me, a mix of sorrow and empathy seeping into the air between us. The loss was a familiar companion in the apocalypse, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. He seemed to understand the gravity of my words, the pain of losing someone close. The temptation that normally followed it was all too familiar. Cable responded with a somber, yet determined tone.

"I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy, losing someone you care about...but you're here, right? Fate as you said has its own twisted plans, and it seems both our paths have collided now." He let the weight of his statement hang in the air for a moment before continuing.

"I can't tell you where this path will lead or what the future holds. Survival and lookin' out for each other, in this hostile world we are now withstanding, that's all that matters right now." His words grew more decisive, echoing with a sense of conviction as he spoke.

"I've been on my own for too long of a time, and being alone… that’s just not a way to live. Humans are far too social to be alone. But maybe together, we can find something worth living for among all of the chaos." His words were calculated and understanding almost begging. He also seemed to scrutinize my every move I made, evaluating every word carefully before he spoke.

"Only time will tell… And whether we find strength or hope along the way we should take it in stride. But I think if we face those challenges together… we can keep each other balanced." he continued.

"I have no doubt that meeting you will change things… now it's a matter of for better… or for worse… or nothing at all,” I uttered those words clearly lost in thought.

“You're still debating ending it all?” Pain and a hint of betrayal twisted his features.

"No! Yes? Fuck I don't know! I want to live with other people... But what's the use of living if one of us is just going to live in solitude and misery when the other dies, you said it yourself humans are too social for things like an apocalypse. Besides you want to get married, that's heartbreak waiting to happen but hey… only time will tell right?!." I looked around for an excuse to end the conversation annoyed that it got to this point but came up empty-handed.

"So you've been thinking about it." His lips took on a gentle curve clearly happy that I've had it in mind… with a thoughtful nod he looked away choosing to break eye contact, he looked embarrassed and a little shy.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

"Oh, hush… it's hard to forget a conversation that happened not even twenty-four hours ago. Being alone is just easy… and safer."

Cable couldn't help but notice the pained expression that briefly crossed my face when I mentioned being alone once again.

"You say that but… you don't actually believe that, do you? Look, I know how scary it can be to get used to someone… only to lose them. But there's strength in numbers. You Can't Deny That." I had become accustomed to solitude and its sullen embrace, but the circumstances had softened me, reminding me of the solitude fettered with heartache that many now naturally endured in this desolate world.

The constant grimness and heartache that bled into every random encounter fueled the harsh fires of fear that burned unyielding and indiscriminate and yet, my heart was winning in the bizarre tug of war for dominance.

I was slowly yearning for the closeness that followed Cable's proposal, craving the safety he so boldly declared. For a moment I truly began to fold to the idea of having a real reason to move forward headstrong and supported by someone. Even if it was just platonically, having someone to protect and fight for at my side… made this horrendous nightmare feel survivable.

"I want to but… but there is this deep fear of losing it all. It has me in a chokehold…"

"But you'll throw it all away because it's 'on your terms' What sense does that make? Listen if you don't want to live, fine… give your life to me, live for me, and I'll make it worth it… just don't give in to that shadowy voice in the back of your mind. Please."

My mind blanked as a hot tear trailed aimlessly down my face. Cable had gotten off of his chair holding out a hand to me… and when I weakly took it he pulled me into the tightest hug I've had in my life and I tearfully wrapped my arms around the torso of his towering figure, burying my face in his chest.

"You're not alone… not anymore… you won't need that suicide note anymore throw it away." My mind flooded with memories of the tears shed as I wrote it over and over. The self-imposed wounds on my heart sent a new wave of tears as they faded with each second passed while folded in his strong embrace.

"When did you have time to read it? Why do you care so much? Why did you choose me?"

“Because I was there… I know exactly how hard it is… I struggled every day even, praying for an end or a purpose. But If I ever stopped I would have never met you, would have never found that girl that my lieutenant swore was out there waiting for me… waiting for a reason. Admittedly I didn't know who you were or what your deal was but I just wanted company, someone to love me. I didn't care if it was fake or temporary, I just wanted anyone, someone to choose me.” Cable pulled back his compression sleeve exposing deep scars still freshly healed… Looking away slightly ashamed.

"... But I read your note while you were setting up the barricade on the other roof, when I woke up you weren't there so I went looking for you only to find the note on the downstairs coffee table. I thought it was a gone hunting note or don't wait up for my kind of note but I was wrong. I feel bad reading it, I feel like I just read your diary but, it puts into perspective exactly how much pain you were in. And honestly solidified you as the person I wanted by my side if you'd be willing.”

My heart hurt too much to form a cohesive string of words together, But curiosity echoed within me begging to know the lieutenant that I should be thanking for encouraging our paths to cross.

I was content being in his arms and my heart had finally thawed to the idea of accepting his proposal, for once since meeting him my brain, heart and soul were all in agreement.

"So I'll ask you again…" Cable got to one knee and took hold of my hand pulling a ring off of his finger and presenting it to me.

"Will you be the one I marry in this hellscape of a world?"

"Yes." I was sure of my answer and wanted to know his reaction so I met his gaze with a timid smile. Cable attempted to slide his ring onto my finger but it just slid off in innocent protest. His observant eyes took note of the size difference. A soft giggle escaped my lips. Cable retracted the ring and stood up kissing my forehead, hesitating inches away from my lips before pulling away.

"I'll get you a ring that fits you later, but for now… you and I are now married. I'll do everything in my power to keep you healthy and safe. You are priority number one."

I nodded in tender agreement as he led me to the room where I slept this morning.

"Now go take a nap or something… I'm sure it's been ages since you've actually slept…"

"What about you? What will you be doing?" My eyes darted to the bed, I called his that was across the room while I blushed at the thought of scooting over and making room for him to join me.

"I'm heading to the roof.”

"What?!”

"Not for that! Don't worry about me, I have a new purpose in life… and I'm frankly too excited to sleep… so imma go sit on the roof for a while... Maybe watch the sunset." I nodded understanding the excitement he felt. It was a hectic day with a lot of stress and a huge dopamine rush in the end, but he was right, I was exhausted. So I left to lay on my bed leaving him to silently walk away.

this whole proposal thing felt like a joke. A ploy to get me to let my guard down. But for some reason, this felt genuine... Real. I felt terrible for taking his offer for my own gain. But at the same time... It feels like we both have much to gain from our marriage despite its sudden nature.

Sleep somehow came easier than it ever had as I almost instantly disappeared into a calming dream of having walks in the park and playing fetch with a cute dog in an uninfested world free from the dead-o who eagerly waited to rob me of my happiness in the waking world. I slept until I was no longer tired, waking up around four hours later.

I glanced at the empty bed across the room and furrowed my eyebrows. I got up to look for him, curious I made headway to the bathroom that was on this floor.

“Cable?” I went without a reply and shrugged it off.

Maybe he was hungry. We haven't eaten dinner yet.

I made my way down to the kitchenette and storage room combo. I checked the storage room just to be sure.

"Hello? Cable? Where are you?” I was left in the lingering silence while panic slowly started filling my chest.

what if he fell asleep on the roof he could get sick and I don't have medicine for him. Fuck I hope he's okay.

I swiftly made my way up the stairs not wanting to show my panic if he was simply just sitting on the roof enjoying the night.

I walked out onto the roof in search of Cable. Within seconds I was exposed to the large clear sky kissed by darkness and peppered with stars, sadly it was hard to appreciate the view with the immense sense of panic making my heart pound in my ears. Looking around I squinted in the direction of the wood pile not seeing anyone. To be certain I walked over the bridge and looked around.

“Cable? Where are you? This isn't funny anymore.'' The silence only piled on to the panic I felt.

I raced across the bridge and stormed across the other in an effort to search the fire escape for evidence of him leaving or passing through. This was the safest exit from the safe house but the wooden board was placed to discourage and confuse curious human visitors but the board looked untampered with, upon a quick glance. I was now met with the harsh reality of being alone again.

I remembered his words to me... 'not for that! Don't worry about me, I have a new purpose in life… and I'm frankly too excited to sleep… so imma go sit on the roof for a while... Maybe watch the sunset.' and shook my head.

This can't be happening! Where is he?

I frantically checked over each ledge for new pools of blood or a zombie body that I recognized

Where is he? Where did he go? He’s not here!

My body trembled as I grappled with the idea that the events that had recently unfolded were a figment of my own imagination, I mean the only exit seemed untampered. And he was nowhere to be found.

At first, I sat Bewildered with the lengths that my brain was willing to go to push me ever closer to the edge of my limit. Then Grief was next as it slowly crept in to consume what little hope My heart fought so hard to obtain, murdering the scraps of happiness I let myself cherish.

Did I really lose it? Did I snap and create an imaginary friend as a bandaid for my dread?

Then came anger, as it corrupted every emotion and took over. I let out a rage-fueled guttural scream, pain seeping out as I let my frustration rule my actions, my throat becoming raw as I let my anger out. I took hold of brick after brick launching them away until an emptiness took over my heart.

The hollow feeling in my chest aching too much for me to bear tears streaked my face… I mounted the ledge letting the despair entice me closer to the edge of my restraint. Tears blurring my vision as I inched closer to the edge tiptoeing the line of no return…

"Why? Why? Don't leave me. I'll do anything, please. I thought you were real… I was so sure. I… I can't be alone… I don't want to be alone anymore…"

I'm So pathetic... My heart hurts. I knew I was lonely but damn. This is embarrassing.

“I'm done, I give up. You guys win...” I moved to take a step off the building…

"Stop! What are you doing!? Get down from there!" I looked back weakly at the source of the voice and saw Cable panting and sweating, I placed my foot back on the ledge.

"I'm not going to fall for another illusion, another trick… you're not real. I made you up to make myself feel better. But no more. No more! I don't need you... I don't want to live anymore."

"What? What are you talking about? Is this a sick joke? I'm real. I'm actually here."

“I checked everywhere. I even checked the fire escape and it was exactly how I left it. You're not real.”

“I pulled it closed like that because I figured that's what you do... I was out scavenging. It was something small so I figured I'd go and come back before you woke up!”

You're just a liar. Why am I even arguing with a figment of my fucking imagination this is dumb. This is stupid!” it hurt my throat to scream in such a way but what would it matter? I planned on taking the dive so minor pain would be a thing of the past.