Yes, I am unfit. Yes, I am anti-social. Yes, I am pitiable among my family, relatives, and friends. But I do have some exercises that I do with my only friend who stayed by my side always. For example, he gave me more muscles around the arms and my grip was also stronger. But one day, my friend had a broken bone, and to this date, he couldn't stand up. It had happened when our training on our daily exercises with our role-models on T.V. I projected the screen of my device to the T.V and started exercising with my friend vigorously. But sooner, he felt a sharp pain, and consequently couldn't stand up on his own anymore. I hated myself for this intense training and hope that one day he will recover by himself.

Editor's note: In case you haven't noticed, his friend is his 'son', otherwise his reproductive organ.

.

.

.

I stared at the old hag who was trembling. She was clearly angered by my statement and wanted retribution to fall upon me.

" Please don't kill me, I'll do anything", out of fear I spoke. Clearly, I wasn't able to think straight.

"Anything?"

" Yes anything"

" In that case go on a date with me. Don't worry I won't make any physical contact with worthless trash like you"

" Ummm.. Ok"

She approaches me at a quickened pace. Upon further inspection of her face, I saw a large mole on her chin. But this mole wasn't an ordinary mole, it had a smiling face on it!!!

I turned myself to the side and vomited

"Kuheyyyyyyyy-----... BLUGHHHHH"

Surprisingly she didn't react angrily to the actions I did

" Fufufufu. It seems like you also fell for my charm. Even the villagers who said that I was too beautiful to stay in my village vomited when they saw me"

At this moment I knew that she was very naive.

" Fine, first of all, accompany to the Elewook Village south of here. I will wear a mask so that you who is not worthy of seeing my beautiful face, won't see it"

And so, we departed to the village by a wagon that was pulled by a horse.

On our journey, we encountered bandits.

" Hey!!! Get out the vehicle and leave your belongings behind!" Bandit A

I trembled... Not out of fear but out of excitement. In the novels I read, the woman would usually be the first victim to be picked on by bandits, and I really do want this old hag gone! So along with this hag, I also got out.

" Oohh... Who is this beauty under the mask!!! Hey, you with the weird attire, LEAVE the woman and your belongings and she won't get hurt" Bandit F who was threatening me with a knife pointing at her chest.

And so, I ran the hell out of here. But... I decided to run back as to see how the bandits would react to what was under that mask, and so I hid behind the bushes, hiding my presence.

Bandits started to circle around the hag, and as soon as one of the bandits took her mask off...

" AHHHHHH!HH!"

" EWWWW... THERE'S A FACE IN A FACE!!!"

" I'M SORRY MOTHER!!! I SHOULDV'E LISTENED TO YOU... NOW I WILL DIE EARLIER THAN YOU WILL BY THE MYTHICAL RANK MEDUSA!!!!"

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Screaming in fear, the bandits scrambled and dispersed in all kind of direction. Some had even lost hope and fell to the ground with emotionless eyes. Some had vomited like I have and were foaming. But nonetheless, it was horrifying. I started to sympathize the bandits.

" Aren't I too beautiful!!!" The old hag blatantly shouted

Subsequently to that event, three bandits remained unconscious and the rest ran away.

Suddenly she turned to me as though she knew I was there at the start, and puts her mask back on.

" I can see you! Anyways, you are prohibited to see my beautiful face because of your unworthiness"

Knowing that had already put her mask back on and not to mention with my presence exposed, I decided to reveal myself from the bushes.

" You really did a great job scaring the bandits away because of your beauty"

I walked slowly to her but decided to check what the bandits were holding possession of. I went to a random bandit that fell unconscious, opened his pouch and found a flask. I was curious, and because I wanted to know more about it, and so I sub-consciously activated appraisal.

-Teleportation portion

[Transports an individual to the nearest village when drank.]

Whilst thinking of my escape, I started to sympathize with old hag's loneliness.

" Hey, watchurname, considering that this is a fantasy world, if you kiss a frog, you will meet a handsome prince"

" Really!!! In that case, I will do so"

" Since I obtained some valuable possessions, I will accompany you on your journey"

And we decided to depart after taking the unconscious bandit's possession.

We ended up in the marshes which were located in the forest.

*Croak*Croak*Croak*Croak

From here, we searched and searched for the prettiest frog. There were many types of frogs, from dark black to snow white; from red to green; from horny ( with horns) to smooth.

I particularly found a frog with rainbow colored skin and a crown attached to its head.

I held it in both of my hands and presented it to the hag.

" Surely this frog is the Handsome Prince. I mean look at its colors and look at that crown!" I said

" Indeed you are correct" the hag replied excitedly

I looked away as she removed her mask and offered the frog with both my hands. She took it and then kissed the frogs with her big lips. Subsequently parting lips, with an instantaneous reaction, her lips began to swell. Growing bigger and bigger, her lips were three times as large as her nose!

- Ahhh... I once watched a documentary on wildlife, and that episode was mainly about frogs. Frogs that are bright and colorful are usually the ones that are poisonous. WAIT! Why did I remember this now!!!!

" AHHHH WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!! YOU MADE ME LOSE MY BEAUTY!!! IM GOING TO RIP YOU LIMBS FROM LIMBS!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs

I was frightened

negotiation- impossible

Running away - impossible

I tried to think of all the escapes I could think of, but none had a non-zero chance of survival. No, I wanted a one hundred percent chance of survival. Then I remembered the transportation flask. I took it out of my pocket and drank it. Then I felt as though I drifting away. My body, like sand, started to drift in the wind. Elwook village here I come!

[ Transportation flask: Transport to nearest village]

" COME BACK HERE!!! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN YOU WORTHLESS TRASH!! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!!!"

My plan as to teleporting- Escape the village as soon as possible as Elwook had been the hag's destination from the start.