My nightmares are back, not as badly as they were before, but it’s not me being tortured this time, even though I can feel the pain on my back it’s a whole different set of images, rushing by as if thrown into a hurricane. My brother, Lucifer, chained up by his arms and legs, welts across his face and back. He seems to have been whipped, but even still, the prideful expression is there.
Seeing him like this, having him shown to me like this, it makes my heart ache, but at the same time, I know he wouldn’t want me to do anything. Even now, Lucifer would never sell me out, I trust him more than anyone. That prideful expression will never change and with it comes his stubborn personality. Even still, it hurts so much to have to ignore him, which is what makes this whole thing a nightmare.
My Father is trying to get to me in all the way he knows how. He can send me these bad dreams and he’s trying to force me to come back. At first, it was false torture which was an attempt to reach me through fear, now he’s showing me my brother in an effort to convince me to return. As much as I hate the idea, he will have to try harder, I won’t turn away the assistance my brother gave me. So I’ll have to try harder. It’s just… I don’t want to have to endure.
I raise my head off the pillow, wiping some tears away. I feel the great desire to find someone’s shoulder to cry on, but I push the thought out of my mind. Soldier on, I can’t just keep looking for someone to confess my problems to. Especially considering there is no-one I can confess to except Janus.
I place my face against my knees, exhaling loudly. I’m slowly regaining my composure, extremely slowly. It feels like someone is sawing into my chest with a sword. Like their trying to remove my heart, but the pain subsides after a period of hugging my knees to my chest.
I cough, raising my head to the dark room. It’s pitch black, likely the dead of night. I forcibly pull myself from my bed and I feel the blankets get caught against something on my back and they're dragged to the ground. I untangle the blankets, fearing what has happened. I feel around the room for a button on the wall and all of a sudden the room lights up and I cover my eyes.
It takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust and I look around. I place my hands on my head and I pull my hood back, there’s a loud rip and I wince. I unzip my jacket and turn it around to see two large holes at the top, which continue to the outer part of my hood. I pat my head, finding that once again my horns have grown during the night which means that that isn’t the only thing that has grown.
I bring my hand around, wrapping it around that pliant tail, finding that it too has grown and quite exponentially. It’s now around two fists in size while my horns are just past an entire fist in size. I rub my face with my hands. Could this get any worse? Not only am I getting those nightmares, but now it’s probably impossible to hide my horns unless I wear some ridiculous hat or some massive jacket, something Gates would absolutely refuse to acquire for me.
There’s a long drawn out sigh that sounds almost like something is deflating and I know it’s me. I give up, I can’t win this stuff. Either I stick around here or I become used to people’s attention instead of being used to people’s indifference. I really hope that they’ll at least try to ignore me instead of actively asking questions. I don’t think I can handle that.
My stomach gurgles, signaling that I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast and that- even though I’m having this whole crisis, I should go out and eat something. I sneak my way over to the door, pulling on the handle and sliding it open before stepping out into the main room. I look around to find a single light still on.
The light is a small light hanging over Kai’s work. He’s still working, teasing the small five-legged robot with his hands, before pushing it aside and grabbing a pen-like instrument that smells like it’s burning. He raises his head to see me and he returns the pen thing to where it was sitting. He opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something, then he closes it, his brow furrowing. “You- you look different.”
I immediately raise my hands to my horns, self-consciously, but I lower them, looking a little downcast. He gives me an emotionless look, nodding at me before scooting back in his chair. It screeches and he stands up, leaning on his legs with his hands. “When are you going to sleep?” I ask.
“Soon. Food then sleep.” He approaches the kitchen then he turns around. “You hungry?” I nod, still not saying anything. It’s like we’ve switched roles. He’s talking while I’m silent. I’m nervous because of everything that’s happened in the past few minutes and I’m finding it more difficult because he’s talking more than normal. It’s a striking difference that makes me feel like I’m struggling to talk to him about things.
He pulls open the silver box, withdrawing a few eggs and then placing them on the countertop. I join him in the kitchen as he’s pulling open a few drawers and taking out some equipment. He turns a knob on the box and one of the circles atop it brightens with small fires. He looks at me and drags a pan over it, then he reopens the metal box and takes out a tub.
Inside the tub is what looks like butter and he spoons it into the pan. “Bread,” he points across from me at a bread box. “In there, make toast.”
“Toast?” I query. “How?” He points at a small silver box on the bench. I approach it, looking at it. It has two slots in the box and I poke at it, testing it for a moment.
“Don’t,” he commands. I nearly jump and I withdraw my hand. “Put the bread into the slots and pull down the handle.” The way he's been talking is a little withdrawn, as if he wants to talk, yet at the same time he's having a hard time doing so. Perhaps he wants to talk without any errors and by paying particular attention to that, he's making a lot of errors.
“Oh,” I say in a small voice. I take two slices of bread and drop them into the slots before pulling down the handle on the side of the box. It isn’t long before smoke rises from it. I can smell an aroma of cooking eggs and cooking bread.
He leans over the pan for a few moments with a spatula and he looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “You’re quiet.”
“Aren’t I usually?”
He shakes his head, then tilts it as if saying actually. “Usually, you talk, but you don’t talk for a long time. It’s almost like you’re thinking before you speak. Or just trying to speak in short sentences.”
“And what about you?”
“I just don’t talk.”
“And now?”
“Different. But you’re doing it again. You’re talking short. You’re starting off every sentence with and. I typically don’t like talking to people, but you’re scared of them. Especially of Gabbie, Walter and me. I’m not sure about, Mattie, but you’re not comfortable with anyone.”
“Mat-” I stop, Mattie, it’s what Kai called Janus, it must be his real name. I look at the ground. “It’s because of what I look like. Janus is the only one I feel safe with, he’s the only one who actually feels like he cares. Everyone else seems to look at what doesn’t make me look Human.”
“I don’t.”
I feel my face heat up. “You do-” I’m interrupted by a loud pop and I look at the box, the bread has popped up. I turn to face him again, my anger dissipated after being shocked by the box. “You immediately realized my horns. You’re the same as everyone else.”
“No-” He sighs and he pulls the pan off the heat and points above me. “Plate. Put toast on plate, butter and then I’ll lay it on the toast.” I do as he asks, laying out the plate and then buttering the two slices of toast. He uses the spatula to place the egg on the toast. He pushes it over to me. “I see your horns because to me, it helps dehumanize you. It’s hard for me to talk to people because- people look at me differently. As if I’m condescending. Trying to prove I’m better than them. Because I said to you, what I said to everyone else.”
“Why do you want me dehumanized and what makes me different to everyone else?”
He looks like he’s actually considering the question. “Because you remind me of a robot in a way. You have a lot to learn and you seemingly absorb it. Unlike everyone else, it feels like I’m with you since the beginning and your uniqueness helps me disassociate you with someone who isn’t like you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Even if you’re a person, you’re almost like an android. A person-robot. Like I built you and you’re developing with me. Better than with my other robots or other people. I feel like I can learn with you. With others- their different- they’re already there.”
“That- I don’t get it.”
“Mattie probably said I’m not good with- talking to people.”
“He said it, but you’ve already shown it.” I cut into my toast, raising it on the fork before popping it into my mouth and chewing on it. “You avoid conversation unless-”
“It’s you or Kai. Today-” He seems to go red and I can hear him sigh. “Today is the longest I’ve spoken to someone in a while. Someone I wanted to talk to instead of it being a forced exchange with Mattie.”
“You wanted to talk to me?”
“Because Mattie isn’t the only one that wants me to change. I’m happy I can talk to robots and everything- it’s just- I’m not happy with it only being that.”
“So you’re taking this opportunity to improve? Why didn’t you take the opportunity with Gabbie or Walter?”
“Because they don’t have horns and golden eyes. They’re Humans, they’re normal. It doesn’t feel like I share any similarities with them. I feel like an outcast and you act like an outcast. I look at your horns because I feel like when I’m around people, they see me with those on my head instead of yours.”
“But why? Why are you an outcast?”
He shrugs. “Because of a hundred different reasons. The only person I’ve been close to is my brother. I’ve breezed through school, I’ve never had friends. The only person I could talk to is someone who could read my mind. Does that sound healthy? I’m an outcast because I don’t know how to deal with anyone other than my brother and when someone can read your mind, there’s not exactly much talking involved.”
“I- Right, I see, I sympathize with you. My life wasn’t exactly easy either.”
He finishes off his food, putting it onto a plate then joining me, sitting right by me. “Mm,” he groans. He slices a piece of his egg, putting it into his mouth. “Don’t be mistaken, though. I don’t think of you as a- robot. It’s just- it stops me from thinking of you as someone like Mattie.”
“Isn’t Mat- Janus good? He’s treated me well enough.”
“Oh, I love my brother. We’ve been together forever and I never knew my parents. It’s just that him and everyone else are massive differences.”
“Aren’t we all?”
The corners of his mouth turn up. “That’s true.”
“I’m just a little bit more than others. It’s getting worse, you know. My horns are growing and now I’m growing a tail. I can’t wear hoods and I can shove it down my pants because it feels uncomfortable.”
“Ta-” His head snaps to the side, to look at my ass and I feel my face brighten. “Holy shit, so there is a tail. That’s amazing.” I shake my head. “You don’t think so?” He continues, unchanging from the question. “I think it will look fine. It will add to your charm.”
I snort. “What charm? And what do you know about charm? Didn’t you say you barely talk to anyone?”
“I talk to you.”
“That’s now and I hardly think that’s a good thing.” He shrugs at my response and focuses on his plate, ending our long conversation. I’m surprised, I enjoyed it, even if a lot of it was unpleasant. He seemed okay to reveal what he was uncomfortable with which made it easier to share what I am uncomfortable with.
It isn’t long before our plates are finished and he collects them taking it to the sink. He returns moments later, walking over to his desk. He leans beneath the desk and the lights in the living room turn on while the smaller light flickers out. “Alright. I’m going to bed.” He points at the wall near the door. “When you go to sleep, just turn off the lights there. It will be dark, but the way is marked by some smaller lights when they go out and they’ll maintain that state for about five minutes.”
I nod. “Thank you, have a good night.”
He gives me a small smile, then leaves, opening the door to his room before entering. When the door shuts it suddenly goes deathly quiet. I look around as if trying to find someone to talk to or just be around or to find something to do.
I exhale, standing from the chair and heading into the living room and sitting down on the big chairs. I’m pretty sure they mentioned their names before. Solas… No sofas, I sit on the sofa and take the remote, turning on the TV. I’m greeted by loud voices and I flinch, leaning back in my chair.
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There’s a man standing in a spotlessly clean kitchen with white marble countertops with a massive set of kitchen knives laid out in front of him. He has a brown beard with clean, white teeth revealed by his creepy grin. “You too, can get the Culinary Cutters for the low deal of forty-nine, ninety-nine and if you call in now, you can get the free knife sharpener,” he says in an all too cheery voice.
I cycle the screen, wanting to avoid the strange grinning man and it surprises me how many screens share the similar smiling people talking about products sitting in front of them. I cycle through, getting more and more infuriated by the yelling before coming to a halt on some screen where there’s a man standing in a garden with some sort of gardening equipment. I give up there, only to find that he isn’t selling anything, instead, he seems to be gardening.
It doesn’t quite take my interest, but it’s something that isn’t screaming and I can’t fall asleep. Not again. I stare at the screen, not quite taking everything in, just watching the old, gray-haired man dig up plants then planting new ones.
For a few hours, the TV shows different programs, typically following a simple set of instructions. Apparently it’s home improvement. From the garden to the living room to the bedroom. I guess it’s just the hobbies of some people, but it strikes me as a very exhausting hobby, but entertaining to see the end result. I suppose that goes with most hobbies, the end result outweighs the thoughts of the result.
My eyes feel heavy and I tap my forehead against my knees as if it will help me wake up. If I was in the Demon Plane, maybe it would be a different story, but it’s not the Demon Plane and a tail and larger horns would be detrimental to my image in the future. There’s a click from the other rooms and I hear footsteps, I raise my head from my knees to see Gabbie start to walk over. She doesn’t immediately see me, and when she does we look at each other for a few moments, not exactly know what to say.
She looks at my forehead, her eyes widening in realization. Her throat seems to constrict as if she’s following and I watch her eyes shift from right to left as if trying to find something to talk about. “Did you sleep well?” She finally asks.
“No,” I murmur.
“Didn’t you go in early? What’s up?”
“Nightmares.”
“About what?”
“I don’t wanna say.”
“Fair enough.” She clears her throat and she makes her way to the kitchen before turning back. “You hungry?” I shake my head and she shrugs, opening the metal box. “I said yesterday that we’re going to be giving you a crash course. This is a refrigerator, we call it a fridge, it’s used to store food and keep it cold.”
“And the box that makes hot bread?”
“The toaster? It turns bread into toast.” I stand up to join her in the kitchen, knowing I have nothing better to do, perhaps I’ll just have her explain to me what everything is. She seems to get the point and she pulls a bowl out of the cupboard and pulls a box out of a different cupboard. She pours the contents into the bowl, small little biscuits of sorts which are soon followed by some milk from the fridge. She dips a spoon in the bowl, eating the contents of her bowl for a few moments, then she points at the box that Kai used last night. “This is the oven and stove.” She pulls the oven/stove open like a cupboard except it opens downward. “This part is used for baking. It gets really warm and the top is used for frying and grilling.”
“So, kind of the same as with a fire,” I murmur. A fire might be used for frying and such, but baking, usually it’s a kiln or something like that. She shrugs, so it appears she doesn’t use a fire much. “Is there anything else in the kitchen I should know?”
She takes up a thinking pose, with her spoon clutched between the index and middle fingers. She points up. “Well, those are lights.” I look up to find her pointing at the fire cylinder things. “Not much of an original name, but it shouldn’t always be. As for other things, there’s a lot of stuff you probably won’t use. Like a blender,” she pulls open a cupboard revealing a conical machine with some buttons on the side. “Oh, and a coffee machine, in case you want coffee,” she points at something that looks very much like the blender except silver and glass.
I blink for a few moments. “Are all of them conical?” I ask.
“Well, they carry more moisture or mixture that way.” She then taps something that looks kind of like the oven, yet once again it’s silver without any glass. She pulls it open in a downward fashion like the oven which reveals wire-frame trays with glasses and plates laid out on it. “Dishwasher, it cleans food. And then there’s something incredibly important. The microwave oven!” She throws out her hands in an amusing fashion, causing the milk to slosh over the side of her bowl and down on the ground. “Damn it.”
“Microwave oven?”
“Well, my naive friend. It’s the most useful piece of equipment (besides the fridge) in the kitchen. First, it heats up cold food, so you can have it steaming hot and it cooks other foods too and it only takes a minute or two.”
I’m dubious. I mean, the others sound plausible, I have similar such things in my world, stuff that warms food after an hour or so but a minute or two? “Really?”
“Really. It uses the power of radiation to heat up-”
“Too much,” I interject. “Tell me what they're used for. Describing them too much will be overwhelming… Also, how they’re used.”
“Right- back to the task at hand.” She continues chewing on her food and she stops with her spoon halfway to her mouth. “Oh, yeah. This is cereal. Fast food if you have milk, though Walter is a heathen and sometimes it’s it dry.”
“Heathen? Your religion doesn’t allow you to?”
“It’s a joke, a joke,” she sighs. “Anyway. There’s one more, garbage disposal. Before you put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, sweep the bits into the hole here and press the switch.” She presses it and I can hear a loud buzzing. She turns it off. “It’ll get rid of the food and you can just wash the plate and stick it in the dishwasher.”
“Lots of cleaning stuff.”
“Oh, we haven’t gotten started with that. We still need to introduce you to stuff like cleaning liquids and some sponges, but that can come after everything electrical.”
“Lots of electrical stuff..?”
“Tons, like a computer, and cell phone and the TV.”
I cover my face, already feeling the pressure of trying to learn all these things. “Aren’t you going to school tomorrow?”
“Yep- sadly- but it’s not for long anyway.”
“Then how will you teach me then?”
“Well, we’ll start with the names and we’ll teach you how to use them when we have free time.”
“You get a lot of free time?” I ask.
“Only after school and during the weekend. Not as much as you and Kai, that is.” She finishes her food and pours some water into the bowel before dumping out the water and placing it in the dishwasher. I watch keenly the way she puts it in so I can commit it to memory, then she waves her hand over to the living room. “Anyway. There are a few things, like the game system beneath the TV which allows us to play video games on the TV.”
“Video games?”
“Um-” She spends some time considering the question and she leans down beneath the TV, pulling out a sleek square. “Well, you know how people have fun? Ever read a book?”
I raise an eyebrow. “A few- but they're a rarity in the Demon Plane. There were mostly stories about the Mortal Plane, though there're some stories about adventuring. In fact, I kind of feel like I’m part of one like that right now.”
“Well, it’s actually kind of like that. Like a book but with greater immersion. Plus, there are some absurd story scenarios that you might never have heard of.”
“Oh, like what?”
“Like magic-” I give her a look that manages to scrounge together as much sarcasm as I can muster. “I mean, different magic, more incredible. Some happy, some sad and all the more interesting.”
“I- I’d have to see it to believe it.”
“I’ll show you at some point.” She points at two large boxes by the side of the TV and another box beneath it. “And we play music out of these things. Good sound systems and such.”
“Like what music?”
“Another thing I’ll show you in the future.” There’s a loud thud and I look toward the bedrooms. Kai comes out of his room, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Hey, Kai.” He raises a lazy hand walking over to his station. He covers his mouth, concealing another yawn. “I’m gonna go check the mailbox. Back in like 2 minutes.”
Gabbie waltzes out of the room, through the front door and as it slams shut I sigh, partially out of relief and partially out of exhaustion. I approach Kai, stopping next to his desk. He pulls over the hand robot to him, carefully moving some thin wires. “Did you sleep alright? It doesn’t seem like you had a long sleep.”
“I slept fine, but you didn’t,” he whispers in response. I look away and I can feel him focusing on my chin. “Hm. So you didn’t, why?”
“Nightmares- also, I think me using magic is causing my horns and tail to grow. I don’t want to overuse my magic.”
“I see- and what happens if you’re required to use your magic?”
I shake my head. “Then I don’t know what I’ll do. Try to avoid it anyway. It just seems I’ve had a lot of obstacles thrown in my way. I’ll figure it out when I meet it. Maybe I’ll try to do a full transformation, though I’m not sure if that changes anything either.”
“Full transformation?”
“A- It’s a- It’s a channeler warlock thing,” I lie. The front door swings open and I turn to see Gabbie approaching with a few pieces of paper in her hands. She places a page in front of Kai and then she stops. I look at her and I see a long grin spread across her face. I figured it would change to terror considering she’s so close to her robots, but she’s looking at something on Kai’s desk. “What is it?”
“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, the Addams family,” she sings in a strange tune. I look at her as if she’s gone insane. “It’s a TV show and movie. It’s Thing, from the Addams Family!”
“The hand?” I ask.
“Duh. What’s it for Kai?”
“Help Elmira with her computer,” he mutters in a barely audible voice, “What’s the letter for? For me?”
“For the team. I figured I’d give it to you because you hate the idea of talking in some sort of team meeting.” He swallows and he drags the letter over to him, teasing it open with a slim finger. He parts the flap and removes the page inside. I look over his shoulder at it. It has a golden triangular seal with a sunset or sunrise within and an owl clutching it. Beneath the triangle are the letter CPO and there’s a long paragraph of black writing. “With the founding of Junior team, Hindsight. I have seen them fit enough to start training exercises with Junior team Expedition. The training exercise will start exactly three weeks from now on January 31st, 2021 at 14:00 at the Training Zone. Your team will be required to undergo a test, that will be decided upon your arrival at the event. Bring all equipment that you would take to a mission as a full team and make sure you’re well rested and nourished,” Gabbie narrates.
“Who? Is it Director Tagert?”
“Mhm,” Kai says. “He’s the only one who signs off on training exercises.”
“We’re going to be training,” I say in a very low voice. “That means I have to use my magic doesn’t it.”
“Pretty much. Is there a problem?” Gabbie inquires.
“No, no problem," I lie. She seems to see through my lie, but she doesn't press me for answers. All I know is that this could turn out very badly.
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Author's Notes
The next chapter is honestly one of my favorite chapters. Another one was chapter five I believe, the one where Hercules and Gates kick major ass. For now, I've been working a lot on character development, as you can probably see with all the work I've done with Kai and Janus from chapter 4 and- well you'll see. I'm hoping to do a little bit more before the arc ends, then the next arc actually has the start planned out in great detail. See you tomorrow!