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Broken

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Shawna jumped back from the sinkhole.

“ADLAI!” Averi scrambled towards the hole.

Shawna grabbed her by her shirt collar and dragged her back. “Do you want to fall in there too you idiot? Stay there, Adlai wouldn’t want you falling in with him.”

She leaned over the edge cautiously. “Adlai? Adlai!”

“I’m fine! I don’t think there’s a way for me to climb up from here.”

Shawna emptied out her pack. No rope. Flicking the length of hair away from her face, she racked her brain for possible solutions. “Do you think we should climb down there?”

“No, that’s just going to get us all stuck down here. You guys go back to camp, I’ll see if there’s a way for me to get out of here.”

Averi listening in, shouted angrily. “NO! I’m not going to leave you here! What’s wrong with you?”

“I’ll be fine Averi, I have the pick, and there’s light, food, and water down here. Go back to the pod, the rainmaker should have some water for you all too, and you also have your MREs. Trust me, okay?”

Averi turned away, frustration clear on her face. “Fine, but you’d better come back, otherwise I’ll come down and kill you myself!”

Adlai’s chuckle floated up the cavern walls. “Scary. Alright, stay safe guys, I’ll do my best not to be eaten down here.”

A weak smile covered Averi’s face. She turned away quickly from the sinkhole, avoiding the now larger potholes. Shawna tried to match her pace, but Averi kept speeding up. She really doesn’t like me, huh. Fair enough I guess. Shawna kept her silence, and they made their way to the pod. Only, it wasn’t there. A massive sinkhole marked the location where their escape pod once stood. Shawna cursed under her breath, and Averi looked like she was about to cry.

Shawna scanned the horizon. “D’ya think there’d be any sorta wood or something here?”

“Probably.”

“Where would it be?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is that something right there?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think it is, let’s go check it out.”

“You can go.”

Shawna stared at the other girl, a familiar feeling of rage building up in her gut. To put it plainly, she really, really wanted to punch her in the face.

She swallowed that anger, and forced a smile onto her face. “Okay!”

She started the trek towards what looked something like a tree. She vaguely remembered the professor saying something about how the native life was extremely similar to earth natives. Hopefully that means that this wood burns. As she got closer, her throat felt even dryer. She had forgotten to check the rainmaker, which fortunately was a good distance away from the sinkhole, near a cave entrance. The thought of water only worsened her thirst.

The tree didn’t really look like a tree up close, more like a very woody cactus with a few pathetic excuses for leaves. It seemed about dead, and shawna gripped onto the thick trunk. It snapped quickly, sending her flying back, holding onto the hollow stem. She got up, and saw what looked like water inside the trunk. Think, Shawna, think. She had remembered Adlai trying to teach her about some kind of tree that stored water. She also remembered the professor talking about a type of plant that caused hallucinations, and would lead to eventual dehydration and death.

So I either get high and die, or I drink some normal water, and die later. Fun. She scooped some of the liquid into the bottom half of the ripped water bottle, and took back the top half of the strange tree. Trudging back, the liquid looked, better and better, swishing around, sparkling in the night light. Don’t drink it. Don’t drink it. Don’t- ah, just take a sip. Shawna lifted the cup to her lips. Delicately, she let a small stream of water drip down into her mouth. She swallowed. She lifted it again, drinking some more. Mentally, she was telling herself to stop, but she couldn’t. The bottle was nearly empty when she had her fill. She felt fine, and thanked her lucky stars it was just water. Nasty tasting water, but still water. She drank the rest of the bottle, and put it back into her pack. Averi could have all the water from the rainmaker.

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Dragging the woody trunk behind her, she finally reached the untimely tomb of their pod. Averi sat alone, shivering against the cold night. Shawna couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for the girl. She remembered one night, back on her home planet, where the cold was nearly too much for her.

Shawna sat against a brick wall in a sad state of disrepair, shivering against the cold. Her parents, Declan and Alexis had left for their research, leaving her with her grandmother. The only issue was her grandmother died that same year. Shawna was cast out and alone, with nothing to her name. The cold seeped into her bones, and she felt snow melting on her exposed neck. It burned with cold, and her eyes started to close. She was probably going to die here, alone, unwanted. Why did they leave her? What was wrong with her? They said that they would be back. It had been nearly 4 years. She started feeling very, very warm. So warm. She could just sleep for a little bit. Just lay down. No. No. She wasn’t going to sleep. She hated them. She would find them. A ball of rage exploded in her chest. Her eyes wrenched open. She got up, cold and shivering be damned. She was going to find them. She was going to make them pay. Make them answer for what they had done to her. For how they made her feel. She hated feeling this angry, but it gave her purpose.

Shawna sat down next to averi, snapping the branches off the spring tree. She didn’t know how to talk to her, she wanted to apologize. The words wouldn’t come to mind, and instead, she absentmindedly snapped the chunks of wood, and aligned them in a tent shape.

“Would you mind lighting this for me?”

“Maybe.”

“Take your time, I’m not the one freezing here.”

Averi angrily ripped out the flint and steel, and struck it, sparks flying. They sizzled out on the wood. Averi struck it again, and again. The sparks wouldn’t catch.

“WHY WON’T IT LIGHT!” She threw the flint on the ground, on the verge of bursting into tears.

Shawna gently tapped her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. Try again, I’ll build a pile of tinder.”

She turned to look for some of the dried up leaves, and turned to see Averi’s exposed stump.

She couldn’t help but stare, and Averi glared at her. “Got something else to say about me? You gonna call me a cripple again? Maybe useless this time?”

“N-no, Why would I-”

“Oh don’t play goody two shoes with me. Adlai isn’t here right now. You think I’m gross right? Some kind of disgusting half metal, half human thing.Something that isn’t even worth talking to with respect.”

She stared at Shawna, pure hatred in her eyes. “It’s funny, cause the people who think like that are the ones who really are the monsters, the ones who aren’t human. If you look at me, and just see my stump, there’s something wrong with you.”

“I never said anything like-”

“So you forgot already huh. You don’t remember calling me a cripple? Useless? A weak link? How do you think that makes me feel?” Her face colored with anger, tears flowing down her cheeks.

“You think I’m always just happy? That I’m just the “funny one”? The class clown? You wanna know why I act like that? It’s cause people won’t take me seriously anyways. I’m just the “poor cripple”, or the “special one”. For gods sake, they barely let me even use the gym! I’m seen as this little piece of glass, one wrong move and I’ll shatter.”

She jabbed a finger into Shawna’s chest, her eyes burning into her skull. “If I’m a piece of glass, I’ll stab you, even if I shatter in the process.”

Shawna’s rage built to a climax. How dare she? Who did she think she was? She was just a- just a what? A cripple? Shawna’s rage froze instantly, and melted away. Averi was better than her. It was simple as that. She never was good enough, and there were always others better than her. She broke down, crying. Hard. Averi sat down heavily, extremely confused.

“I’m so, so sorry.” She sobbed.

“What?” Averi was beyond confused.

Shawna shook her head. She didn’t know how to explain it to her, why she was crying, why she hurt her.

Averi tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

“Why?”

“I’m a happy person remember?”

Shawna cried even harder.