(Sarah)

As it turned out I gained a new fear of darkness, not the most ideal situation if you ask me. When I was little I never feared the dark. the hidden monsters hiding in the darkness ready to pounce and drag me off. The unknown man lurking in a dark alley ready to pounce on any unsuspecting woman. I could never understand why people would be afraid of these silly imaginary things.

I understand now. Darkness is the lynchpin that drags the painful memories of the void out of my unwilling mind. I don't know what else to call that weird otherworldly place other than the void, the lack of all things. The only other fitting description would be my personal hell. Darkness gained a whole new meaning for me, not the fear of an unknown monster or of the man that is lurking in the shadows ready to abuse any unsuspecting woman. But of the voice of darkness and the all-encompassing nothingness, the fear of being abandoned locked up in darkness without anywhere to go or to run. Hopeless and stuck.

2 days later.

Wednesday afternoon as the sun started lazily dipping below the horizon giving off warm orange beams of light giving space to darkness as it slowly conquered the metropolitan landscape. The migrating birds were quieting down for the night, finding their preferred tree. The metropolitan sounds of cars driving, people chatting and rushing were quieting down.

It was turning night.

I was absentmindedly laying on the couch in our living room, having turned on the tv to blast mind-melting soap operas. It was an acquired taste from my dad. He loved his soap operas. I never understood them when I was little. But now whenever I relax I need to have a bad Spanish soap opera playing. This time it was Ricardo and Julietta, courting each other in forbidden love. It is kind of overdone. I personally prefer love triangles.

I took a glance at the window and saw darkness outside, quickly averting my gaze. I looked at the lights making sure they were still turned on. Trying to get back to the world of Spanish soap operas, but failing. The only thought persisting is the void. Silently I check the lights again, making sure they haven't turned off.

‘I don’t want to relive that again'. An uncontrollable shudder passed through my body. As I try to forget all about the void, the darkness and the voice of darkness that tortured me.

I continued to sit there with a mild headache in my living room in a trance staring at the wallpaper for an unknown amount of time until I heard yelling, surprised I looked around the room trying to find the source until I realized it was coming from the TV. Oh, they are finally getting to the climax. It seems like Ricardo and Julietta have been found out by Julietta's uncle.

After watching the soap opera for a few more minutes. Slowly I reached for the remote and turned off the tv, enough mind-numbing for today.

I tried to ward off the bad thoughts about the void with good memories of my dad and mom. They are really nice and loving.

“I wish I could go to Uni,”. I muttered silently

I hate staying at home since mom is always at work and it was always dad that was home I spent the majority of my time with him. Now it’s just me. I always felt really lonely when I was home alone.

‘I still remember my promise to you Dad, I will never forget.’

All the time we would watch mind-melting soap operas together and how mom would be angry at us for not doing our chores. I kept reminiscing about the past, the good old days without any worry and only fun.

‘Maybe I should sneak out and not tell mom?’ The idea was gaining more and more merit, I couldn’t stand being cooped up at home for 5 more days.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I wanted to meet with Hugh, maybe I could call him. And sneak out tomorrow. I quickly dialled Hugh's number after waiting a few seconds he picked up.

"Sarah! are you alright? What happened in the hospital" A flurry of question were thrown at me. Ohh yeah, I forgot to tell Hugh. Ooops.

I quickly explained to him that I was fine. He finally managed to calm down he is such a worry wart.

"Hey, are you free tomorrow to meet up?” I asked him.

"Are you even allowed to leave the house?" Hugh knew me too well.

"Of course!" I lied.

"Sureeee" You could hear the doubt in his voice.

"You can trust me Hugh I wouldn't lie to you." I lied again.

"Should I ask your mom as well? What she might have to say about that?" He asked.

Realizing my mistake I try to backpedal.

"Well actually tomorrow isn't go-" I get cut off

"Fine, I'll come. I know you would just go out alone instead" Hugh reading me like a book remarks smugly.

"Alright, tomorrow at Tangerine park. I'll text you the details." I said thoroughly defeat.

I hung up the phone and lightly threw it on the couch.

I guess back to soap operas it is.

As I was just finishing up the last misadventures of Ricardo again. My headache despite my best attempts at trying to ignore it grew worse.

I heard someone at the front door. I checked to make sure the lights were still on. I moved to check on the front door.

"Sarah I'm home! I brought take out" shouted mom from the front door taking off her shoes.

Yay, take out! Excited I went to meet mom.

"Hey mom, how are you?" Smiling I asked my mother.

"I'm fine long day. How about you how are you doing?" She asked me.

“I’m fine” I responded by uttering my third lie of the day, I didn’t want to tell my mom about the dream and the void. It would have worried her even more. Not to mention the passing out part.

“Alright sweetie, come here for a hug.” She said smiling at me and holding her hands out expectantly waiting.

“Mom I’m 21!” I said pouting, but deep inside I wanted that hug.

“I don’t care you are still my baby.” Pretending to win me over, I slowly walked towards her and hugged her. ’She is so soft and smells of flowers.’ melting into her embrace. This is what I just needed, though I wouldn’t tell her that..

We both stood there for a long but short few seconds finally releasing me, I reluctantly let go of her.

“Alright, Sarah can you please make the table while I go change?” Mom said with an extra large smile.

“Fine, I’ll make the table” I respond pouting.

After making the table and placing the cutlery and plates down mom arrives from upstairs dressed leisurely, in grey sweatpants and a large yellow hoodie wearing only her flip-flops.

My mother is a bit shorter than me with long blonde hair, I inherited my father's brown hair. She has a pair of blue serious and striking eyes that seemed like they would see past all falsehoods and really look at someone's soul.

We both started to eat and lightly chat about our days.

“Sarah, how are you feeling today?” She asked curiously.

“Like yesterday, nothing is wrong with me.” I said deadpan trying to ignore the pounding headache.

“I want to go outside already it’s really boring here.” I said full of hope maybe she would reconsider herself from yesterday. I decided to not share how lonely I felt alone in our family home.

“No chance! You are staying home for the week. End of topic.” Mom said fiercely not budging.

Disappointed, and annoyed I shout “Stop deciding my life for me!”.

“As long as you are inside my house I make the rules!” She said threateningly.

“With this shit again, I want to live my own life without you limiting everything I do! I want to be free!” I screamed back at her.

“I don’t want to lose you as well Sarah!” Mom said on the verge of tears.

Realising what I just did, guilt come over me in waves. It took the wind out of my sails. Sensing I couldn’t win this argument. I quickly made sure the lights are still on and are not turning off, relieved I get up and storm to my room tears starting to fall out of my eyes.

Locking my door shut and getting on the bed, the headache is getting worse and worse. Aaagh, this dumb headache why today of all days?

I can hear shuffling on the other side of my door with somebody trying to open it

“Sarah open the door that’s not how I meant it.” Mom I realized said worriedly for me

‘Not now mom! Why does everyone have the worst timing?!’

The headache was starting to building up I was barely able to focus

I could hear my mother on the other side of the door worriedly asking me to open the door. Ignoring her all I could focus on was the headache and the pounding on my head. As if someone was using a sledgehammer and relentlessly smashing it against my brain.

All my focus was on the headache, it was like a pulsating across my head until I couldn’t focus on anything just at the light in my room.

Black spots started appearing in my vision and slowly swimming around slowly but surely the black spots were expanding. Terror started to grip me reminding me of the void ‘Please I don’t want to go back in there’ I was wishing for the best hoping I wouldn’t be thrown back in there as the last thing I heard was my mother yelling something on the other side of the room.