Seth wove his way through the party, which had grown even more packed in the last half hour. It occurred to him that meant people had arrived and walked past him passed out on the road. With the Adderall and alcohol actually allowing him to feel something, he could actually feel grateful no one had Sharpied a dick on his face. He wondered if he’d hallucinated the fall—even now, feeling the back of his head, he couldn’t find where he thought he’d cracked his skull. There should be at least a bruise, if not a cut and blood.

Seth refocused. Dark hair. Pale eyes. Short.

The lights were dim, people were everywhere, dancing, drinking. Should be easy to find, right? Seth sighed in aggravation as he kept looking. Jessica was talking to Madeline to try and see if a Nicole was even invited. Andrew was in the basement. Seth stopped in the kitchen and tilted his head. Was it going to be this easy? A short girl with her curly raven-black hair tied into a ponytail had her back to him as she poured a hefty cup from the tequila handle.

“Nicole?”

The girl set the handle down and took a sip. “Who’s asking?”

“Uh… My name’s Seth?”

She turned, grinning sardonically. “Of course it is.”

Seth became aware that if he wasn’t on the meds, he would have been tongue-tied. Nicole had piercing steel eyes, full lips painted in black lipstick, and… Seth barely noticed. Not these days. Her face, though, that was striking. Even drugged up.

“What do you mean?”

She took another sip. “My ex’s name is Seth.” She looked him up and down, folding one arm under her drinking arm. She wore a black leather racer jacket over a black v-neck and black jeans, leaning into a very goth that went to prep school look.

“By any chance, does your ex have a Midwest accent?”

“Mhm.” She continued eying Seth in a manner that began to feel predatory. “You seen him?”

“I think he’s stalking you. My friends and I were looking for you because of it.”

“Huh. Well, unattractive Seth is about as dangerous as a soggy sandwich. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

Nicole made a sour face. “Oh, you’re not even gonna pick that one up? Wasted effort. And Ben tells me to be subtle.”

“Who’s Ben?”

“My brother.” Nicole drank again. “I’m single.”

“Okay.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, you’re gay.”

“Bi.”

“Same difference.”

Seth crossed his arms. “It’s really not, actually.”

“Well, actually…” She drawled in a mocking voice.

“Jesus Christ,” said Seth. “Alright, I can see why other Seth left you, but I can’t see why he felt the need to find you again.”

“Dude. I was trying to flirt with you. Buzzkill.” She finished her drink, crumpled the cup and and tossed it on the floor of the kitchen.

Seth looked at it, then back to her. “Right, you’re a gem. Jealous stalker dude left. I’d be careful.” He turned on a heel, heading out of the kitchen to find Jessica.

A cold hand grabbed his arm and he turned to see Nicole standing behind him. “Wait,” she said. “Lighten up. Come hang out outside with me.”

Seth pulled his arm gently but firmly out of her grasp. “You’re kind of an asshole. No.”

“Look,” she said. “You just clearly don’t know how to flirt.” She touched his arm, softly. “Let me teach you.” She arched an eyebrow.

Again, just the faintest hint of a carnal feeling broke through the barrier of the meds just before slipping down below the surface. Seth hesitated half a second.

“Come on.”

He looked over his shoulder out of the kitchen to try and spot Andrew or Jessica. Neither were in sight and he had a sneaking suspicion why. Damn it, Jess. He turned back to Nicole. “Alright. I’ll go outside.”

“Good!” She smirked. “There’s hope for you yet.”

She moved past him, grabbing his hand and yanking him through the crowd. Like Jess, she had a lot of strength for her size. Maybe even more than Jessica did. She and Jess must gave been eating the same Wheaties every morning. Seth and Nicole exited through the back door and she continued to pull him along, down the steps and further until they reached the end of the dock. Nicole promptly sat, legs dangling over the edge, and patted the wood next to her.

Seth eased himself down and hung his legs over the water, looking over at Nicole. Jesus. Her eyes really were pale. The steel he’d perceived them as in the dim light of the party didn’t do them justice. Under the full moon, her irises seemed only two shades darker than white. She made that smirk again. “One in a hundred million.”

“What?”

“My eyes, dumbass. Gray eyes are the rarest type.”

“Oh.”

She reached back and undid her ponytail, letting her ink-black hair fall around her shoulders. “Ugh, had that up all day. It was starting to give me a headache.”

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“Huh. That’s a thing?”

“Mhm.” She leaned back, resting her palms on the dock, and eyed Seth. “So. What’s a guy like you doing not knowing how to flirt?”

“I—“ Seth shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and his chin on his clasped fingers. “I just don’t have time.”

“Uh-huh. It’s high school. Senior year, I think, looking at you. You have time.”

Seth twisted to look back at her and that eternal, sardonic smirk. “Not as much as you’d think.”

“Why? You chasing a scholarship or something?”

“I— I don’t know.”

“You stutter a lot.”

Seth pressed his lips together and looked forward. Nicole let out a long sigh and they sat in silence for a bit.

“Thanks for letting me know about Seth.”

Seth shrugged. “You’re welcome.”

“He’s just been following me since I moved here. I broke it off with him before the move and he couldn’t take it. He’s harmless, but it’s a problem.”

“Stalkers aren’t harmless,” said Seth.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I mean,” said Seth. “He sucked at fighting.”

“Yeah, and I don’t.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” She let the silence hang.

“…what do you do?”

“Cocaine, mostly.”

Seth twisted back to see a shit-eating grin. He laughed, just a little. It was genuine. He wished that it wasn’t dangerous to mix drugs or that the doctors could give him something that wouldn’t turn everything black and white all the time. The laughter felt really good, as muted as it was.

“Judo and Kali.”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “Where the fuck are you doing Kali? There’s no gyms for that anywhere nearby.”

“Did. Like you said.”

“Ah. Where you training here?”

“Nowhere yet. Getting settled in. You got a place in mind, I assume?”

“Yeah, Central Fighting Arts.”

“Sounds generic.”

Seth shrugged. “We do Dutch and Kyokushin for striking, and then wrestling and jiujitsu for grappling. We just signed a guy to One.”

“No fucking way. That’s badass.”

“He’s legit, that’s for sure.”

Nicole hoisted herself up and scooted her hips over to make contact with Seth. “What about you?”

“Eh, I’m okay. Better than can’t-fight-Seth.”

She rested her chin on his shoulder and stared at him. “You don’t have cauliflower ear, I don’t believe it.”

“Some people don’t get it.”

“Mhm.” She moved back. A strong wind swept along the lake, bringing with it midnight chill. Clouds moved across the moon and the shadows of the night grew deeper. “No, I know.” She brushed her hair back. “None for me, and I’ve done Judo since I was five.”

“That’s an accomplishment.”

“Didn’t stop a concussion or two, but what are a few brain cells, right?”

“Yeah, I’m one to talk,” said Seth, “I’m a striker.”

“So you basically don’t have a brain.”

“More or less. And if it’s not that, the meds—“ Seth cut himself off and looked down. He made a short sigh.

“Hey,” she said. That witty, sarcastic edge dropped out of her voice. There was something else there, too, Seth couldn’t tell. It sounded… Different. Like there was some final layer her tone and inflection was masking. “It’s alright. No judgement. That why you’re not drinking?”

“Ha.” Said Seth. “That’s why I shouldn’t drink.”

“RIP your liver, then,” she said, a bit of the joking tone returning. She touched his back. “I’m a chronic over-sharer, but my parents are dead. I’ve been through the mental health grinder. You’re not getting judgement from me. I’m an asshole and a cunt, but not about that shit.”

Seth nodded, still looking down.

She rubbed his back. “Just sit and chill, okay? You can talk if you want, or just shut up and watch the lake.”

“Thanks. I’d normally find Jess or Andrew, but I think they’re making out somewhere.”

“Happens.”

“Yeah,” said Seth. “They’ve been playing will they, won’t they since I introduced them to each other freshman year. I think they’re finally both single, so, you know, the inevitable has come at last.”

“You like either of them?”

“No, they’re like my brother and sister. So just weird vibes for me is all.”

She snorted. “What? You’re not into Alabama-style?”

“No,” he said. “I most certainly am not.” He stared out onto the lake. “They’ve been really good to me. I’ve been through the wringer and I feel sometimes like those two and my gym are the only things dragging me along, you know?”

“What happ—“ Nicole cut herself off. “It’s good you have them.”

Seth looked back at her. She was staring at him with earnest, if somewhat unsettling pale eyes. They made Jessica’s look downright dark with how much light they reflected from the moon. “I took a grippy sock vacation after I broke my father’s orbital bone and had hallucinations of shadows trying to eat me.”

She didn’t even blink.

Seth swallowed. That usually made people blink.

“How long were you in inpatient?”

And she knew the lingo, too. Seth wondered how bad her struggles had been. “Half a summer.”

She let out a low whistle. “I hope your parents have good insurance.”

Seth laughed, harshly. “Oh, they do. Ever hear of Kevin Blackwell?”

She screwed her face up, thinking, and then her eyebrows shot up. “Get the fuck out.”

Seth just nodded grimly.

“Your dad literally wrote a book on conflict resolution. Must not be good if you beat the shit out of him—or was it like an episode?” She asked, caution dropping out of her voice.

“He slapped me.”

Nicole covered her mouth. “He literally talks about spanking being bad for kids in that book. My dad loved it—“ She tiled her head slightly. “When he was alive.”

“Oh,” said Seth. “I’m sorry—“

“Don’t, we’re talking about you. I’ve grieved.”

Seth nodded. “The book isn’t anything like how he lives.”

“It’s a good book, though.”

“Sure,” said Seth. “It works great if one of the people in the equation isn’t a raging fucking shithead of a narcissist.”

Nicole drew her mouth up. “That bad?”

“Yeah,” said Seth as he gripped the edge of the dock until his knuckles went white. “That bad. But, turns out, I present for subclinical schizophrenia, so on the meds I go, and to the therapist who doesn’t really listen because she hero-worships my dad. Oh, yeah, and I think they're banging.”

“That’s fucked.”

“Oh, yeah.” Seth looked back down at the water. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Got any tournaments or fights coming up?” Nicole asked, not skipping a beat.

“Two Saturdays from now, actually, up in Grand Island. West Coast Strikers Alliance has a big round-robin tournament every year. We get people from as far north as Alaska, it’s a blast. Pretty deep divisions, even in youth.”

“What ruleset is that?”

“Eh… Kudo rules if you’re familiar with those. All striking allowed and takedowns, limited ground fighting.”

“Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah,” said Seth, a little forced. “It is.”

“Oh? Competition nerves?”

He gave a small shake with his head. “Rival.”

“Ah.”

Silence again.

“Hey, look,” said Nicole. “I’m sorry for coming off strong. But... do you want to come make out with me?”

Seth shook his head. “No, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He glanced back at her. “Seriously,” she said. “I’ll see you at school in a few weeks. Or maybe your gym, if you’re cool with that.”

“I am.”

She smiled and stood to her feet. “See you around, Seth Blackwell.” She turned and walked back up the dock towards the patio. Seth watched her go for a moment and then gazed back out to the lake. He felt a sting on his arm and looked down, expecting to see a wasp or hornet, but there wasn’t anything there. He squinted in the dim light of the moon, examining his arm for a cut or something he hadn’t noticed. He found nothing. He blew air out his nose and relaxed again. He could feel the Adderall and alcohol starting to wear off and the all-too-familiar numbness swarming back in.

Seth sighed and lay back down on the dock, looking up at what stars shone tonight, wishing he could feel. A rogue, intrusive thought slipped in that maybe, just maybe, Nicole might help with that just a tiny bit.

At this point, he’d take anything.