On the day of the coronation, I should have been happy. I know that’s hard to imagine, but all I really wanted out of life was to be comfortable, to do my job, get to a level where I could relax and enjoy my life… but instead I’m stuck with an idiot creature claiming to be God, harassing me at every turn because I’m exercising my own free will and liberty to live how I see fit.

And I’ll bet somewhere out there, there’s somebody who would think ‘I’ am the bad guy, just because I’m a little bit twisted. Well excuse me, but I’m not the one causing wars to break out just to torment one reincarnated Japanese office worker.

So now instead of enjoying myself, I’m looking around and walking on eggshells. Always worried that the next one to bow will pull out a knife. And of course… I’m wearing a dress. This was really hard to get used to. I preferred my military uniform, but since I wouldn’t be able to wear that either, as soon as I could, I’d wear pants at least.

My dress, more of a ‘gown’ really, was far wider than I cared for, almost a hoopskirt, white, with gleaming pearls embedded into the fabric and woven throughout, each one was supposed to mean ‘something’ but I neither knew nor cared what.

The coronation itself was to be done on a balcony overlooking a vast sea of people, all milling around on an open lawn filled with tables and chairs, along with rows of folded seats. I recognized a few faces in passing, the crowd of people Sir Knollys had invited on my behalf when I arrived, they had all shown up after all.

I can’t help but think of that as a big win for me, or at least a small one, a win of some sort. Everybody knew I came from the Empire, and I was sure some would have relished tearing me apart for that. But I’d gotten through peacefully.

At my back, Visha walked with a surprisingly regal manner, she had dark circles under her eyes. I'm afraid I might have asked too much of her the other day, perhaps it was harder to cross reference all of that than I thought? I’d give her a day off to recuperate after the coronation was over.

She couldn’t be at her best if she had too little rest, after all.

And I need people at their best.

The weather was fantastic at least, a nice breeze, warm without being hot, the sun was out, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

I sat in my seat eventually, if reluctantly, feeling… kind of ridiculously small given the size of the damn thing. It had a back twice as high as it would ever need, thick scarlett cushions, and wide arms clearly not meant for a child. Still, I did my best to greet everyone who approached and look as regal as possible.

I held out my hand, I now had a ring on it that didn’t quite fit properly, but it was something for them to kiss when they knelt.

Ceremony was not something I liked much, even in the best of times, especially because it was just one more thing for Being X to disrupt. Beyond that though, it got in the way of getting things done. ‘Just hand me the crown and be done with it.’ I privately thought, but I knew that a fair part of advancement was hobnobbing with my colleagues, meeting the ones I’d need to turn to for things to be done and committees to be staffed.

And I’d need the support of the population. I won’t pretend I didn’t think of people as convenient shields for myself, if it came down to my life versus Visha, I would choose my own. Heroes throwing their lives away to save someone else… it seems foolish. How do you place so little value on your own life, that you just throw it away? Oh, I understood it in principle, a parent dying for their child keeps the species going. A single person dying to win the battle and save his whole community… it keeps the community going. We label these people as heroes… but usually? Usually they’re just mad, desperate fools who wouldn’t be in that situation in the first place if stupid people didn’t make stupid decisions.

If it were up to me, we’d live in a world that didn’t need heroes. And me? I had no desire to be one of them, and if they’re honest about it, neither do the vast majority of people.

I’m not as twisted as they think. I’m just honest with myself. Twisted, is lying about it.

So I smiled, nodded, took their names and their oaths of loyalty, these great men of the Commonwealth…

I knew most of them would probably sell me out in a second, or toss me off my seat if they had somebody else. I was a last ditch effort, but I wasn’t bitter about it.

I was instead, planning to make the most of the opportunity I had.

Finally, the time came, and a functionary stood and held aloft a crown that had been fitted with several leather strips on the inner band so it wouldn’t sink on my head when they put it on me. “To the West, I present your undoubted Queen! To the East, I present your undoubted Queen! To the North, I present your undoubted Queen! To the South, I present your Undoubted Queen. Queen Tanya Albert Degurechaff the First! Queen of the Commonwealth, Ireland, Wales, Raj of India and mother of the Empire on which the Sun Never Sets! The Queen is Dead! Long live the Queen!” He then bent forward and placed the crown delicately atop my head.

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He smelled like smoke. I hate the smell of the stuff.

When he stepped back, I rose with the crown on my head, I could feel thousands of eyes on me, the lawn was so thick with people in chairs and at tables, not to mention the ones who had standing room only, that I could barely see a blade of grass below. I didn’t envy the gardeners who would have to take care of it after this.

I approached the balcony and looked at the many soldiers, civilians, royal guards and members of both the old nobility and the new money. "I come to you from the Empire, but before that my father came from here. I know that the times have been trying, with fear, and death, and war plaguing the world. But where I go, I go to bring victory. As I am now your Queen, and this is now my country, I embrace you! I will bring you victory! I will bring you peace! I will bring you prosperity! If the Empire wants your lives, they will have to take my life first! But if they would not kill the one who defended them for so long, then they cannot strike you down either! Stand behind me, let me be your shield before the wrath of god, and our Kingdom will stay strong, united, and thrive!"

I didn't really mean most of that of course, but appearing to put myself at risk was just the best way to stay alive, and at least this time all I had to do was talk, not blow myself up. Besides that, maybe I was even right, it wouldn't be a good look for the Empire to try to kill its own hero, maybe I could bring a halt to war, that stupidest of all human activities…

I will always wonder what their reactions would have been to my first real speech. But I suppose I’ll have to live with disappointment, because in that momentary pause, some instinct of mine toward danger caught my eye when I saw two or three men shoving their way to the front. “God save the Queen!” One of them shouted, but even while they threw things, my hand was already coming up to cast my spell.

They were stick grenades, three of them, and while those were in the air, the ones carrying them were reaching into their coats for more. My barrier lit up and before the grenades could go off I shouted, “Everybody get down!”

The booms went off and the guards were instant in their response. Screams and shouts, howls of pain went up, and I did what I do best.

I took charge and took action. Most people think that our computation jewels do the majority of the work, they do and they don’t, they let us do some impressive things, control more spells, achieve higher aims. But a mage doesn’t need complex equipment to fly or shield themselves.

The booms that went off didn’t so much as rattle my barrier, but the shrapnel hit the crowd, guards, and dignitaries in front of me and around me.

One of my guards was down, Three more grenades were in the air, I snatched up the rifle of a soldier who fell howling with shrapnel in his gut, put my foot up on the balcony to steady myself, and shot. The thing about being a mage is, you have naturally better aim than ‘normal’ people. Part of it is due to magic, part to training, but a fair part of it is simply because you have to move not just three hundred and sixty degrees, but more like seven hundred and twenty, you have a full range of motion in every angle and direction to fire.

Compared to shooting down enemy mages in those conditions? Standing still and braced, shooting a few slow moving thrown grenades was child’s play, especially with my magic coursing through the bullets.

The guards were quick to respond, but unwilling to fire into the crowd, I shouted directions, since I could see where the attackers were at the front, “Twenty meters left of center! Ten meters right of center! Twenty meters right of center! Red hat black shirts!” I shouted my directions to the guards below who, reticent to fire into the crowd, instead followed my directions.

“Get down!” I bellowed and swung my arm down before taking aim. I put the first one down myself, before he could throw the grenade, the mob was panicking, screaming, shouting and trampling over one another, indifferent to the dead and wounded. One of the royal guards bayoneted the far thrower, while the last caught his thrower at the wrist, and they began wrestling over the grenade before it went off and killed them both.

During all this time, Visha was busy dragging the wounded out of the way, while more guards made to protect me. The Prime Minister, to his credit, had fallen into assisting her after he came to his senses.

At this rate the trembling would cause more death than the attack.

I activated my projection spell and shouted, “It’s over! It’s over! You’re safe! The attack is over! We got them! People of the Commonwealth, assist the wounded!”

Not everybody listened, some were too far gone in their fear, they kept running, for all I know, they never stopped.

But a surprising number ‘did’ listen. Thank. You. Projection spell.

And seeing the pathetic screaming, twisting figures lying on the ground, they began to follow my directions. “Anyone who has medical training, take charge, if the wounded can be moved, move them over there, assemble the tables for any emergency surgery! And call the hospitals as quickly as possible!”

In times like this, it didn’t matter whether I cared or not, my coronation had been disrupted and I could be fairly sure this was Being X’s fault.

All I could do was not look like I don’t give a damn. So I hopped off the balcony and floated down below. “Visha, take care of the wounded up there! I’ll handle it down here!”

“Ma’am!” She shouted back at me, and we got to work. I tore quite a few strips off my dress, convenient, as it made it more comfortable, and bound up injured limbs.

At least I was used to getting my hands dirty.

When someone looked at me with half vacant, disbelieving eyes as the strip of fabric tore away I shrugged, “It’s just a dress. Now hold still because this is going to hurt like hell. Bite down on this if you have to.” I shoved his wallet into his mouth after picking it up off the grass, and he screamed around it as I tightened the strip above the injury. Not much of his leg was left, and I doubted he even realized how badly he was hurt, but with a tourniquet made from his broken cane and the cloth from my dress, he had a chance of survival at least.

You would think though, that I’d have remembered how many reporters were present, and all the cameras.

I didn’t, but then, maybe at least that made for more natural, and therefore better, photos, not to mention ‘videos’.