To say I was mad, was an understatement of the decade. Inside, the guests, who ranged from the general population, including some of those I invited, to affluent and important leaders of the Commonwealth, milled about.

I wanted them gone. In Japan, I lived in a small apartment that was comfortable enough for one person. I aspired to much more, but I was content with my space. The key words being ‘my’ and ‘space’. If this was my home, I now had many unwanted guests. Guests I could hardly throw out after having gotten them out of the way.

Butlers and maids were fortunately plentiful, and out of necessity and caution, all had some training in first aid at least. When I realized they were staring at me, I realized I had no choice but to address them. ‘It comes with the territory, I suppose.’ I resigned myself to the inevitable and said, “This should never have happened, but it did. I don’t know who is responsible, but they’ll be found and punished. But for now, while the grounds are cleared and the wounded are treated, check each other. If you were injured, you may have gone into shock and not realized it. That’s lethal if it isn’t handled.”

The prospect of dying by a lethal wound they didn’t know they had, prompted my milling unexpected and unwanted guests to action, they began to look one another over, and while their hands patted down one another in search of blood or shrapnel, I went on.

“Adrenaline is probably deadening any pain if you got something like a broken rib or broken toe, but it’ll start hurting soon. If you feel it, whoever is closest to you should assist you in getting to the medical staff out front. As for everybody else, no alcohol.”

There was a collective gasp, but I shook my head and raised my hand to still their objections. “I know. But trust me. You don’t need to drink right after going through that. Save it until tomorrow. But you should have some water and something light, a good meal always helps.” I looked toward the nearest of my butlers. “Have the kitchen prepare as much hot soup as possible, and every dining hall, move whatever tables and chairs you have to, from wherever you need to take them, but get it done.”

“The rest of you, loosen your clothing, you don’t want to be constricted. I’m not telling you to strip, just undo a few buttons or relax your laces, if anyone feels faint, say so.” I waited, and a commoner in workman’s overalls, hat in hand, raised a hand.

“Yes?” I asked and pointed at him.

“Beg pardon, Your Majesty, but… you’re just a child, how did you learn all this…?” He was at least doing what I wanted while he asked.

I sighed internally, it was going to come out sooner or later, more likely sooner. Keeping it secret ‘now’ wouldn’t look good. Better it come from me than a newspaper.

Women's hands were undoing the laces of their dresses, loosening the cloth just a little and relaxing the corsets beneath. Men were undoing the top buttons of their collars, I had them doing what I said. That meant now was as good a time as most, if not any.

“You know I came from the Empire, and you know I have magic. What you probably don’t realize is that anyone who has magic, is taken into the Empire’s military. So I’ve spent the last three years as a soldier in the Empire’s military as an aerial mage.” Their stunned faces didn’t register hostility, not right away. “It was going to be revealed later, it’s hardly a big secret, but I’d hoped it would be under more peaceful terms. It’s very strange for me to come to a country that spent time trying to take my life but…” I gestured toward the door behind me, outside, the screams of the wounded were less, but still plentiful. “They told me that by coming here, filling in the shoes of the grandmother I didn’t know I had, that I might prevent more of what’s outside right now. War is… a terrible thing.”

I pretended to wipe away a tear. “I hope this doesn’t turn you against me, but you wanted the truth, so now you have it. That’s how I knew what to do, how I know how to treat shock, and injuries, and protect my own, like you. Now, if you’ll follow the staff, they’ll settle you in until the medical staff can clear you to leave. Have water, have soup, and be patient.”

If I were to appraise myself honestly, today, the disaster that it was, might well have been one of my finest performances ever. I didn’t relish the chaos of situations like this, but I was at least fairly sure that I had some supporters among the guests.

When they were gone, and all I could hear was the screams outside and the shuffling weary feet of my now suddenly exhausted coronation guests retreating after my staff, though I could still feel their disbelieving eyes in my direction, I made my own retreat.

Company for too long, even invited, didn’t sit well with me. I was hungry, and in the aftermath of a battle, even a pathetic skirmish by some inept fools like those, still left me with the physical aftermath. That’s to say, the ‘crash’ that follows a fight.

If you’ve never experienced it, it’s hard to explain. Imagine you work for fourteen hours straight, but somehow you don’t feel any of the boredom, stress, exhaustion, or anything else. Then once you’re done for the day, you go home, and all of that which should have happened over time, hits you all at the same moment.

That’s what it’s like. I don’t like it, and I don’t know anyone who does, even those who love war for some stupid reason, don’t like ‘the crash’.

I’d never had maids or servants, not in the old life or in this one, so it didn’t occur to me to call any, I went to the nearest bath, turned on the water, took off my clothes, and got in. The water cascaded over me, drenching my hair and washing the blood, sweat, and mud away from my skin. I would have preferred a bath, being Japanese, but there wasn’t really time for something so languid. I could enjoy that later.

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For now, this would have to do. I thought of the shock on the dead man’s face, when he realized he was going to die, and I was the one who was killing him. ‘Such a fool.’ I thought, ‘Everybody thinks they’re immortal and unkillable until they get a bullet or a bayonet in the body. It’s his own fault for going off half cocked. If I were trying to kill me, sure this was a decent time, but a handful of grenades? They didn’t even have pistols. Pathetic.’

I didn’t feel bad about killing that man, or the deaths of his comrades, why should I? I didn’t start that fight, I didn’t seek them out. What business was it of anyones if I enjoyed watching the foolish, stupid look on his face while his life ran out of his body. The world is always a better place, when stupid people remove themselves from it.

All that, and I got to get a hot shower. On the Rhine I never got hot showers, just a bag of water over my head with a few holes in it. At least I didn’t have to share it, with only two women in my battalion, myself and Visha, we didn’t have to worry about running out like the men did.

I stepped out of the tub and reached for a towel, it was a very soft cloth, that too was something I was going to enjoy getting used to. “I wonder how the others are doing now?” I said out loud.

I wasn’t expecting a response.

“Ma’am, I had enough time to say goodbye, and… well I didn’t say this before, but they all were wishing you well, they said not to worry about them. I promised I would write as soon as things settled down.” Visha answered and entered the bathroom.

This room was as big as my old apartment in Japan. A counter as long as the wall and with a sink having a polished brass swan neck spigot. There was a chair to sit in and a row of hooks with robes waiting to be used, along with a toilet fit for a Queen. I have my dignity, so I will not explain what that means.

Even with all that space, it was strange for Visha to enter. I won’t deny that, since I still saw myself as a thirtysomething year old man, it felt a little perverted for me to have her just walk in on me while I was naked.

I had to take a second to remind myself that I was now a young girl. Had I been a man, she might be described as ‘my type’.

All I said to her was, “That’s good. You didn’t get yourself injured out there, did you?”

“No, ma’am, I’m fine.” She smiled when she answered, it seemed to make her happy when I asked about her wellbeing.

“Good, but shouldn’t you still be out there assisting the others?” I asked.

“Oh, ma’am, there are more ambulances now, they don’t need me, and the bobbies… their police, are now on site. I briefed them about everything and the area is secure. So… I came to do my new job.” Visha’s answer wasn’t something I disliked.

It’s good to have subordinates you can trust. My first instinct was still to tell her to leave.

But… ‘I’m just going to have to get used to this too. Maybe it won’t be so bad.’ I thought and said, “Alright, but I can dry myself, just bring me something to wear. Then get yourself cleaned up, I’m going to have to visit the hospital later, and you’re coming with me.”

“Ma’am, the hospital?” Visha asked.

“Yes. Of course. There were a lot of people wounded out there, and some who were killed. We’ll have to visit the hospital and… it would probably be a good idea to arrange a memorial to be set up to commemorate the dead. A plaque on the grounds where the dead were stacked, that might be for the best.” As much as I hated ceremonies, my ideas were not meant for me, but to play to the public sentiment. And something like that might minimize the damage my name might take in the aftermath of the shattered peace of my ceremony.

I finished toweling myself off and Visha returned a moment later holding everything I’d need. A black dress was a good choice, something to show mourning. “I refuse to wear a bonnet. But I’ll take the rest.” I said, and she tossed the bonnet aside and assisted me with surprising speed.

“You’re very good at this.” I said when I stepped into my shoes a moment later, she was shockingly fast, so much so that I’d barely noticed the process.

“Oh, ma’am, did I never tell you why my family fled the Federation?” She asked while she knelt at my feet and did the little golden buckles on my shoes.

“No. No you didn’t.” I answered, and that was true, I knew where her family came from, but I’d never asked the particulars, I didn’t really care, and it never really mattered. But now she had me slightly curious.

“My family used to be servants to some of the boyers, we didn’t work directly for the Tzar, but we were a big family and were spread out in a lot of the boyer estates. My mother, when I was growing up, she taught me a lot of the skills a servant to a noble house should have. She always said that, ‘ours is a house of service, we must always be prepared for the day we’re needed again’ and I guess she was right.” Visha cocked her head and laughed a little bit.

“I suppose she was.” I said, it was the only thing I could think to say. A kinder person might have offered condolences, when the noble boyers were slaughtered during the communist revolution, a lot of their servants were slaughtered too, punishment for being ‘class traitors’. I doubted most of Visha’s family still lived. Though if they did, she probably had no idea about it, nor would they know of her.

Commies, they disgust me. Stupid wastes of manpower and stupid party loyalty and destructive influences on free will… the man whose life I took was individually stupid. But commies are ‘collectively’ stupid, and if war broke out with them, I’d take great pleasure in shaming or slaying every last one of them.

I shook my head to cast off the reverie as Visha stood up after securing the buckles, “You’re done, ma’am. If there’s nothing else, I’ll get myself ready too.”

“Go on.” I said, “There’s going to be a lot to do.”