George waited patiently in the hallway, staring expectantly at the door that would open any moment. Cats didn’t frown, but the large feline had an expression on his face that certainly didn’t show any pleasure. For the third time in the last few minutes, he raised his hips from his sitting position and readied his tail for aerial acrobatics. George moved back to the side of the door, slight butt wiggle before take-off, and then-- leaped straight up, mashing his paw against the call button. Rewarded with a slight chime for his efforts he landed casually on the floor and moved to the front of the door, once again sitting down and waiting patiently.

Some cats might have meowed at this point(or really, most of them would have been meowing instead of using the doorbell) but George did not. Instead, he tilted his head to the side and redirected his ears forward slightly, listening attentively. The cat seemed to be thinking deeply as it considered the fact that there were people inside the residence but no one was moving to let him in.

George glanced down either side of the hallway as he considered visiting any number of other residences where his other people lived. Finally he stopped looking and gave a soft chuff of annoyance. He could do that, but he didn’t want to do that. George could tell that the room in front of him held more people than it usually did. More people meant the light haired girl who gave excellent chin skritches. More people might even mean the tall minion who sometimes bent over and gave -- well, if he were being honest -- adequate chin skritches. Those fingers of his always smelled weird though. Like a mixture of ground up plants and different meats. George often allowed the man to pet him with his barely acceptable skill just so he could sniff the hands.

He supposed he could come back later, but it was cold outside and he’d just as soon get his visit underway. It had been snowing for a few days and rather than stay back at the cat motel and get in a few short ten hour naps, he’d decided to be adventurous today.

Another soft chuff as he got up and started stalking down the hallway toward the floor exit, avoiding the elevator and even going so far as to move to the opposite wall to avoid the door sensor.

George had once got into the elevator, the sensors having recognized his presence and opening up for him. Once inside he’d found it less than stimulating. While the doors in the apartment complex had things next to them that made fun little noises and caused people to come and look, the buttons that were within the small box that you could ride up or down made no noise. They were mostly featureless buttons that lit up, which, entertaining? Sure, but without the noise it wasn’t the same. He’d lit up an entire row of the buttons anyway, his heart not really into it. He didn’t even have to jump up to press them, a simple paw on the wall to balance and a stretch upward doing the job.

George had ridden up floor by floor for a while, tilting his cat head in curiosity because every time the doors would open there would be a new scene. In the end it hadn’t been interesting enough and he decided to get out. The buttons hadn’t even summoned people to come take a look -- useless things. The fact he had been much higher up in the apartment complex than he liked to go didn’t lend any favorable impression toward the box.

The door to the exit for this floor led to a stairway that went up and down. George immediately chose down, long tail sashaying back and forth as his large feet padded down the stone stairs. There were other ways to get into apartments. If a window was open he would slip in. If a window wasn’t open he could just stand at the patio and do the thing where he pressed against the glass. Humans liked that.

One of the reasons that George had chosen this building to start adopting humans was because of the access. Some of the buildings in other parts of the town didn’t have door sensors to open up for the humans that moved around in chairs, or the ones that liked to walk with sticks. Other buildings had some sort of button that humans used to get inside but no amount of pressing on his part could get the door open. Sometimes the buttons would provoke a human voice. While that was interesting at first the voice would invariably get angrier as he kept pressing it. George had since determined that there were buttons that would summon kind-hearted minions and buttons that would produce minions that threw open the door and shouted angrily down at him.

George headbutted the door on the bottom floor, pushing against it to open it outward. He’d chosen this particular stairwell because the door didn’t latch and wasn’t locked during the day so it was easier to move open.

Stepping out, a chilling crosswind almost flattened him. Ears laid back he squinted against the sudden brightness as his eyes adjusted to the snowscape. George gave the world a brief look of disdain.

Snow was the worst. George had never given a thought to what made snow but if he had, it would have been a simple ‘snow is bad, and if you made snow you should feel bad.’

George started to circle around the building and didn’t bother to go around some of the steeper snow spots. He walked over them with that incredible ability all cats seemed to have. The ability to stand on things that should just cave in.

He paused in his journey and gave a speculative look upward. The apartments all had balcony style patios complete with sliding doors. They were a little generic in their sameness, the walls looking like a giant splotch of conformity, but he knew the rough location. It would just take a few peeks inward to establish he was in the right place.

Traveling upward was a bit trickier. The way wall was set up with small jutting parts at the edges of the patios meant that he could walk between them, but up? Up was where things got interesting. Patio tables and umbrellas, railings and fencing, a little death defying acrobatic maneuvering.

Eager to get to it, he wiggled his butt and started to move forward, one paw freezing as he came to an abrupt stop almost half a second later. George narrowed his eyes and considered this thing in front of him. To the side of the patios there was a latticework of green vine that extended downward from the top of the building. The vine was interspersed with little lights giving off the promise of warmth. He rather enjoyed the little lights but had been disappointed when he’d come across them in the past. They gave off the light that usually meant warm things but they weren’t warm themselves. Web of lies.

Well. Maybe the death defying leaps and the narrow walkways with the occasional umbrella climbing wasn’t necessary after all.

George moved to the lattice and pushed down on it experimentally. As he expected, this stuff was laid out for him to stand on and climb. Well done building minions.

There was little time or reason to waste now. He began climbing, easily traversing the distance between the ground and the second floor. It was so simple. He offered a brief meow of greeting to an old woman who saw him climbing. He didn’t know her but she smelled like leaves and water, so he made a note of her location. It would be nice to visit a new minion. He went back to climbing, ignoring the woman who was hollering through her screen door.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“Harold! Come look! There’s a cat climbing the apartment!”

“Hold onto your valuables, he’s probably a burglar!” Came an answering shout.

“Cat burglar?” The woman picked up her tea and shook her head after confirming that George was already out of her sight and still climbing strong. She gave a disdainful glance to the patio door and shook her head again, murmuring quietly to herself. “I thought clowns were supposed to make everyone else laugh…”

George made a quick stop on a third floor patio because he spotted his friend, dumb dumb. George moved onto the landing, already aware that he would have to step inward quickly because -- yep -- dumb dumb almost bowled him over. Dumb dumb was a dog, but that really wasn’t his fault. George was actually a bit larger than him which is why he’d been comfortable initiating the cat adoption protocol when he had first met dumb dumb. The stupid creature sniffed and tried to lick his face, leaning inward. His breath smelled terrible and George lifted a paw to push away the excited doggy snout. George was in a bit of a rush and was only really here because dumb dumb would be sad if he didn’t stop and at least pretend to socialize.

Dumb dumb yipped at George a few times, causing the cat to contemplate again about whether there was any use for this creature. The uncomplimentary thought vanished as dumb dumb chuffed at George, delighting him slightly. It had taken a lot of chuffing before dumb dumb could mimic the sound. Painful hours chuffing at him and keeping him at bay. If left to his own devices dumb dumb would just lick himself to death.

George chuffed back, not in the least bit fussed that when dumb dumb chuffed there was no meaning behind it. George at least was responsible enough to include the reason for his visit and the purpose of his climbing mission in his chuff. It also explained that he had to go. There was simply no time for anything other than a simple butt sniffing on either of their parts.

George moved around the dog slightly, pushing the dog aside a bit with his shoulder and gave a few quick sniffs. Well done dumb dumb, George nodded in approval. It smelled like his small friend was doing quite well.

George moved back to the railing and pushed his way through the openings, mindful to watch dumb dumb and warn him back with a low hiss that caused the dog to back up. George didn’t need dumb dumb pushing him out into the open air.

The journey upward wasn’t as eventful as the first couple floors had been. George had almost been confused because he had stopped on a patio where his minions used to live. For some reason they had moved up a few floors in the apartment complex at some point. At least their new home premises had an extra room and a larger kitchen. George just didn’t know why they had vacated the old place. Keep both?

The right floor was finally found. George stepped up to the glass door and looked to either side, noting that there weren’t any windows. It would take the normal greeting then, he supposed.

Elisha was in the kitchen of Aidan and Amelia’s apartment. She had arrived a few minutes beforehand to discover that her father and mother, Aidan, Raven, and Amelia were all zoned out with their dive gear on in the living room. It was kind of creepy really. So rather than jump right in with them she was warming her hands up with her breath as she stood in front of the range, eyeing all the pies that were scattered across the counter with a rueful smile. Even if it wasn’t the holidays there was always some sort of dessert put out on the countertops. Since it was the holidays it just seemed like he’d gone whole hog on the matter and baked as many pies as he could reasonably fit in their friends’ apartment. Her dad was going to make sure she was fat, is what it really came down to.

A small thumping noise startled her from the next room. A rhythmic noise that was just infrequent enough to sound like it was by design rather than a consequence of the atmosphere controls in the rooms. Elisha was still rubbing her hand as she cautiously peered into the main room, slightly aggravated by the fact that she was still so cold she could feel the cold radiating off her own body as she moved.

The sound was coming from the patio, and as expected it had nothing to do with the sounds that apartments just make. It was George.

“Oh, hello cat friend,” Elisha said, moving to the sliding glass door. She was actually reluctant to open it for a moment because he was doing quick passes, almost like he was being friendly with the door so that he could convince it to open for him. Elisha bit back a quick laugh that had escaped from her mouth. The laugh caused the cat to stop and turn toward her. George sat down expectantly and tilted his head, his demeanor plain. Why hadn’t she opened the door yet?

“Yes, my love…” Elisha opened the sliding door and smiled as the cat pushed his face through the opening before there was enough space to fit. When there was he pushed harder, almost falling forward. “Cold outside?”

Elisha watched as George paused for a moment as he surveyed the legion of zombies in the living room. A moment later he turned around and pressed his flanks against her legs in greeting. He was tall enough that he actually came up just past her knees. The sudden and forceful display of affection almost bowling her over.

“Will you be staying long? I was about to log in?” Elisha peered down at him and stooped over. George immediately stilled and lifted his chin toward her expectantly. Not wishing to disappoint him she started scratching under his chin with her short pink nails. George’s full body purr turned on and she snickered. “Well, make yourself comfortable.”

Minutes later and George was once again left to his own devices. Elisha had set out some water for him, and he was gratefully lapping that up. The arduous journey was over. The green vines were a welcome surprise.

Elisha was on the floor with that weird thing that humans put on their head to sleep. George had been thinking about trying it out but whenever he was around they were either in use or put away. Honestly he kept forgetting.

George moved around the room for a moment, acclimating himself to the environment. Piles of books as usual. Also a tree had been set up. No, not a tree -- George narrowed his eyes in confusion smelling the plastic thing that looked like a tree. A tree imposter!

After knocking the tree over and jumping up and down on it he was fairly certain that his minions were safe now.

George moved to the piles of books and sat down in front of one, eyeing it for a long moment. He reached out and pushed with a paw, watching as the books scattered across the floor. Delicious. He knocked down several other stacks of books, occasionally turning to see if his minions minded. They continued to ignore him, they must not care.

When there were no more books to scatter he turned his attention to the kitchen. He had been right earlier, this was a day for an adventure! He’d never been in here without some sort of supervision before. Elisha must not have known that Amelia and Aidan were very responsible hosts when he was here. He forgave her for abandoning him. This was better.

On the counter he wove his way between pies, giving every one of them a cursory sniff. One of them had smelled really very awful and had caused him to jerk backward, stepping into one behind him that he’d immediately forgotten about. He shook his foot for a long moment, splattering blue goop across several other pies. Honestly, disgusting, he shook his head and hopped down from the counter moving across the white tile floor. Ugh. He was leaving blue paw prints.

He would have to remember to clean that foot. Later.

George moved into the living room once more and settled on Forsythe. The man with the biggest lap and the interesting smelling hands. He tucked himself into the man’s lap and headbutted his arms around until they splayed on either side. It took some doing, but by the time he was done the large man was splayed out and slouched with a few blue pawprints on his apron.

The apron smelled good. He leaned in and looked at the design. ‘Give Me Baking or Give Me Death’ printed in large letters. George nodded in satisfaction. Indeed. He still could not read.

George settled down and lowered his head, his soft cat snores echoing out into the room. Blissfully unaware of the fury that his sensible Christmas light climbing, tree-killing, book toppling, pie inspecting, paw-print leaving, and otherwise loving actions would cause when everyone woke up.

Happy Holidays