Once everyone is seated, I pour Jun and then myself a drink because it’s customary for the host to lead everyone in a toast at the beginning of each course.
He holds his cup in the air and says, “For our first toast of the evening, I would like to thank Lady Ellen. Without her support, we would not have been able to move up our campaign date. She has also graciously agreed to watch over White Fang while we are away.”
He takes a moment to look around at his captive audience. “So, while we are off to battle, I expect everyone to listen to Lady Ellen’s every command as if it were my own. To the wonderful Lady of White Fang.”
Once again, I find myself grateful for my veil so no one can see my mouth gapping like a fish. I recover enough to not spill while I drink.
After the toast, the head butler rings his little gong, and the first course is brought out. Lady Deng’s very eligible daughter is the first to perform.
She stands in the center of the stage facing Jun and I. One of her friends accompanies her and sits with a pipa off to the side. They play a rather depressing song about two star crossed lovers who marry the wrong people and then die in a flood caused by their own tears before they can do anything about it.
The food isn’t any better. I think my palate is too unrefined. This course is some sort of bitter soup with a side of a bitter vegetable. Jun is eating it with robotic precision, but no signs of actual enjoyment. I might also lack the dignity to appreciate this overly formal events.
Apparently it’s a favorite of Lady Wong, but heaven forbid that woman smile at anything I try to do to please her. Though she has stopped scowling at me while she eats her soup.
No one dares to say a word until the servers retrieve the tableware. Then there is more mingling between courses, and we have the first man of the evening pass out from all the liquid courage he imbibed.
He was making a straight line towards the restroom until he tilted to the left. Then he kept tilting until he ended up in a decorative plant and didn’t get back up.
Luckily, I was prepared for that. With the alcohol contain only rising this evening, I expect that he’s only the first. The stable boys have extra clean wheelbarrows on standby to get him home or at least out of hearing distance.
From my memories of being a maid, I know that the Ladies judge on how well a hostess can discretely remove drunks or other ill mannered people from a party. That’s what passes for classy around here.
Two sturdy butlers help him exit. While another butler adjusts the tables so it’s like no one is even missing by the time we sit down for a second course.
For the second toast, Jun says, “Next, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has aided the war effort.” Then he goes on for a bit naming all his favorites by name.
He concludes with, “Without the support of everyone here today, we would not be ready to face the usurpers with maximum force.” Then we all drink.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
A set of twin bachelorettes dance to musical accompaniment by one of their younger sisters. I like them more than the tragic love song. However, the food for this course is even worse than the last.
It’s a very salty fishy tasting fishy seasoned with fancy salt flakes. Then on the side are what I thought were eggs but are in fact salt blobs masquerading as eggs.
I know I thought that this was a wonderful ethnic dish from Lady Cao’s homeland, nevertheless it serves as proof that the me of earlier this week was sleep deprived to the point of delusions. As long as I am the Lady of the manor, this dish will never be served again.
Jun eats it just as robotically as the last course. There are many entertaining faces, especially further down the circle. The longest only lasts a few minutes before even the weakest of these snobs school their faces into a formal neutral while consuming their expensive salt lick.
The third course I rank as at least edible. It’s dedicated to the Jun’s squad and all the soldiers. The dish involves pork belly, and some sort of fruit drowned in wine with weird tasting herbs on top.
Then comes the between course mingling and I find myself talking to Baron Huang again. Despite Jun standing right next to me, he’s still undressing me with his eyes.
Jun is talking with Lady Wong about bandits, so I’m left to make small talk on my end of the circle. Instead of making awkward comments about the weather like a normal person, this baron says, “I never would have imagined I would meet such a captivating flower all the way out here.”
I say, “Thank you?” That sounds like flirting.
His wife takes a not so secret nip from that flask as he says, “In the garden of the empire, you are a rare bloom that steals hearts of men lucky enough to stumble upon you.”
I take a step closer to Jun. “Have you and your wife had a chance to walk around the rose garden? It’s quiet lovely this time of year.”
Not feeling the need to acknowledge anything I actually said, he continues where he left off. “You’re like my favorite kind of orchid – mysterious and alluring. I can’t help but want to unwrap your secrets.”
Then he reaches to pull my veil off and I yell too loudly, “No.”
Silence falls as everyone turns to watch the spectacle. He’s grabbed the edge of my veil when Jun clamps down onto his wrist. The baron screams.
Jun says, “Let go if you want to keep the hand.”
My veil is released. The baron says, “How dare you. Do you know who I am?”
“Yes, and that’s the only reason you still draw breath. I’ll make sure that your cousin knows of your conduct here tonight.” Zhen and Tai appear on each side of the baron and put a hand on each of his shoulders.
Jun turns to look at me. I say, “I’m fine. You swooped in at the right moment.”
He nods, but I can see the rage burning in his eyes. Any insult to me, he’s taking very personally. He says, “This type of behavior will not be tolerated. Take him away.”
With a nod, they lead the baron out. Not slowing no matter how loudly he protests. The baroness gives us a very low bow before following her husband.
After she is gone, Lady Wong of all people says, “And good riddance to him. We will have a better time without him, won’t we Lord White Fang?” I guess the schmoozing has made some progress.
Jun agrees with her, saying, “Even writing that letter will be more enjoyable than that man’s company.”
Lady Wong laughs like a loud drunk and says, “I’ll even witness for you. Always good to have many eyes about when scolding royal rascals.”
Thankfully, there is no more excitement for the rest of the banquet. We all toast to victory, eat a poultry dish and then most of the guests are ready to make a break for it.
Despite Jun spilling no blood this evening, the locals still have a palpable fear of him. Only a few of the more determined linger hoping to be asked to stay for an after dinner drink.
The end of this retched banquet is in sight. Aperitifs are 100% Jun’s problem and I’m grateful that I get to skip that event.
After I firmly say good night to the few hopeful stragglers that don’t make the cut to drink with the big boys, I get to call it an evening. I’ll supervise the clean up tomorrow.