The room’s silence was both heavy and deceptive. Theo Kane stood on a glowing platform, the faint hum of machinery vibrating through the soles of his shoes. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, a mixture of nerves and irritation bubbling beneath his brazen exterior.

“You’ve got about ten seconds to explain what the hell is going on,” Theo said, crossing his arms. “Or I’m gonna start touching things. Dangerous things. With my hands.”

Across the room, the holder of the voice sighed, the sound theatrical and dripping with disdain. His angular face was framed by a cascade of white hair pulled into a haphazard ponytail. He peered over a holographic console that floated mid-air, its symbols flickering like fireflies.

“Oh, marvellous,” the old man said dryly, not looking up. “Threaten the one person who might—just might—be able to explain why your existence is the equivalent of a cosmic middle finger to reality. That’ll end well.”

“Listen, Gandalf the Grumpy,” Theo shot back, stepping off the platform with an exaggerated swagger. “I didn’t ask to be dragged into your techno warehouse of horrors. Shit, I don’t even believe this is actually happening at this point. So why don’t we skip the snarky commentary and get to the part where you spill the beans?”

The stranger’s fingers froze mid-gesture, and he finally turned his piercing blue eyes to Theo. For a moment, there was only silence, broken by the faint crackle of static from the machinery around them.

“For an anomaly whose existence is a rounding error, you make an ungodly amount of noise.” he said, his voice edged with contempt. “Do you know what you are, Theo?”

Theo smirked. “A devastatingly handsome, devil-may-care rogue?”

“Wrong,” he snapped, stepping closer. “You are an outlier. A singularity of chaos. You don’t fit. Not here, not in the System, not even in the predictable, mundane soup of mediocrity you call a species. And do you know what I do with outliers?”

Theo shrugged. “Tea and biscuits?”

The old man’s hand shot out, pointing a small cylindrical device at Theo. A burst of blue light enveloped him, and Theo’s muscles locked as if he’d been hit by a freeze ray. His smirk faltered.

“Okay, not tea and biscuits,” Theo muttered through clenched teeth as he began to struggle.

The elder sighed again, running a hand down his face. “Oh relax, Theo. It’s just a calming agent. Makes you a bit more agreeable. You’ll feel disoriented for a bit, but it’s preferable to you breaking something important—like my patience. My name is Erasmus, by the way.”

The device clicked, and Theo’s limbs loosened. He stumbled back, rubbing his arms. “Calming agent? Feels more like a passive-aggressive taser.”

Erasmus ignored the comment, already back at his console. He muttered to himself, his words a rapid, indecipherable stream of frustration.

“Catalyx lineage... skipping integrations... latent immunity...”

Theo wandered closer, his curiosity overriding his better judgment. “What are you mumbling about?”

“You, obviously,” Erasmus said flatly. “Your absurd immunity to the System. It should be impossible, yet here you are. A Catalyx descendant with none of the benefits and all the drawbacks. Do you even understand what that means?”

He paced, his tone sharpening. “The System doesn’t tolerate variables like you. It’s designed to correct them—violently. Every anomaly it encounters, it neutralizes, assimilates, or destroys. And now, thanks to your lineage, you’ve painted a giant, glowing target on both of us. Congratulations.”

Theo peered down at his body dramatically. “Catalyx? So what, I’ve got secret cat DNA? Is that why I land on my feet in fights? Wait—oh my god—do I have nine lives? Because that would explain so much.”

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Erasmus shot him a withering glare. “Catalyx is a superior race, you irreverent gnat. My race. Masters of bio-synthetic evolution, custodians of balance, yada yada yada. We’re not exactly on speaking terms with the Exo-Genesis, or System, as you might know it.”

Theo’s brow furrowed as his head felt somewhat cloudy. “So, what? I’m part alien? That’s why I didn’t get the whole tutorial package like everyone else?”

“Part alien?” Erasmus repeated, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “You make it sound like you’re a discount superhero. The reality is far less glamorous. Whatever’s shielding you from the System is also painting a target on your back. And mine, by association.”

Theo opened his mouth to respond, but his eyes caught on a nearby device—a smooth, oblong artifact embedded in a pedestal. Its surface shimmered with faint, organic patterns, each pulse of light synced to a hum that resonated in his chest.

It seemed alive, a heartbeat echoing in the still air, beckoning his embrace.

“Ooh, wow. What’s this?” Theo said, reaching for the device.

Erasmus’s head snapped up, his face a mask of alarm. “Don’t touch anything!” he barked, lunging forward. “That stabilizer is older than your entire species, and its calibration took me decades. If you—”

Too late. Theo’s fingers brushed the surface, and the artifact’s glow intensified, drowning the room in a harsh, searing light.

“Why? Why would you do that?!” Erasmus barked, abandoning his console to rush to the artifact. The room’s ambient hum had risen to an alarming pitch, and warning symbols flickered across every screen.

Theo held up his hands defensively. “Hey, it’s not my fault your alien doodads don’t come with a ‘Do Not Touch’ sign.”

Erasmus growled, his fingers flying over the pedestal’s interface. “I literally told you three times not to touch anything here! That ‘doodad’ was stabilizing the power grid! Now it’s overloading—which, for the record, is bad.”

Theo raised an eyebrow in disbelief, “Why would you leave such an important thing so easily accessible then?!”

“I had to assemble this base as quickly as possible to protect my identity on this planet, you cretin. I didn’t expect the living embodiment of calamity to start a sitcom here.” Erasmus retorted bitterly.

The lights flickered, and a deep rumble shook the floor. Erasmus slammed his fist against the pedestal, and the artifact’s glow dimmed, but the damage wasn’t fully undone.

“We’re going dark, but we won’t die. Well, you won’t, I was safe.” Erasmus muttered. He sprinted to a wall panel, ripping it open to reveal a tangled mess of glowing cables. With a sharp pull, he severed one of the connections.

The hum died instantly, plunging the room into an eerie silence.

Theo’s voice broke the silence. “Yay. That’s a win, right?”

Erasmus turned slowly, his icy blue eyes narrowing. “Not yet.”

A sharp chime rang out, followed by a disembodied voice that made Theo’s blood run cold. “System Alert: Unauthorized activity detected. Compliance protocols initiated.”

“Well, that sounds ominous,” Theo said, trying to mask his unease with humour.

Erasmus cursed under his breath, his hands tightening into fists. “This is your fault. I want you to know that.”

Theo gestured wildly. “How is this my fault? You’re the one with the booby-trapped gizmos lying around!”

The voice continued, cold and mechanical. “Terms for continued survival: Subject Theo Kane may remain under Catalyx protection. However, all technological resources must adhere to current world parameters. Violations will result in conflict.”

Erasmus’s jaw tightened, his expression dark. “They’ve tethered us. Limited my tech to match this world’s constraints.”

Theo blinked. “Okay, but... what does that mean?”

“It means,” Erasmus said, his voice low and dangerous, “that your presence just turned my sanctuary into a liability. I can’t use advanced Catalyx-grade tools without risking System reprisal. And if that happens, we’re both dead.”

Erasmus grimaced defiantly before shouting, “Not before I wipe out half of this galaxy, you planet-sucking weasel.”

Theo’s cocky demeanour faltered. “So, what do we do?”

Erasmus’s gaze was piercing. “You do what you’re told. No more touching things. No more jokes. And for the love of all that’s logical, no more being... you.”

Theo grinned weakly. “Deal. I’ll try to be more impulsive and less afraid to speak up.”

Theo scratched the back of his neck. “Okay, so maybe I kinda-sorta trashed your lair. But, in my defence, you kidnapped me and drugged me, so really, this is a joint effort.”

Erasmus groaned, dragging a hand down his face like a man who had just realized his entire existence was a televised joke. “The universe truly despises me… and honestly, I think I’m starting to take it personally.”