The silence in the room was so thick, Theo felt like he was suffocating. The dim lights flickered ominously, the faint hum of alien machinery a constant backdrop to the oppressive tension between him and Erasmus.

Theo’s hands rested casually on his hips, but beneath the bravado, his nerves prickled like a thousand tiny needles.

Erasmus, on the other hand, radiated an aura of icy detachment. He stood at his console, his long, white hair catching the faint glow of the holograms. His fingers danced across the interface, though his attention was fixed squarely on Theo. The intensity of his piercing gaze made Theo feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.

“You are...” Erasmus began, pausing as if searching for the precise insult to convey his disdain, “...an unmitigated disaster. What exactly did you do for a living?"

Theo gave a mock bow, his grin widening. “Flattery will get you everywhere. I was an MMA fighter. Undefeated. A prodigy, actually—humble, too.”

Erasmus’s expression didn’t change. “You destroyed people for a living? That is completely expected.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why, out of all the infinite probabilities, did the universe decide to vomit you into my sanctuary?”

Theo crossed his arms, his grin faltering slightly. “Yeah, this is exactly what I was hoping for too. Thanks. Maybe the universe sent someone strong to remove that stick from your ass?”

Erasmus’s gaze hardened. “I’d rather have a stick up my ass than endure another minute of your presence.”

Theo’s grin returned, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “So what’s your plan? Kick me out and hope I don’t mess up your neat little clubhouse more?”

Erasmus stared at him for a long moment, his lips pressed into a thin line. Finally, he sighed and muttered something under his breath before smirking slightly. “That depends on you actually. I have two options. I can just leave the planet and find an unclaimed one where I’ll begin again. It’s really no effort for me.”

He leaned back in his chair, hands resting on the back of his head nonchalantly, “Or, you can stop fucking around and we can see if there’s fun to be had here. EG thinks it can threaten me and I’d quite like to see it sweat a bit. Can you take things seriously for more than two seconds?”

Theo contemplated the situation before him. So my choices are: die alone in five minutes or let this mad scientist turn me into a half-man, half-bear, half-pig in ten. Tough call.

Before Theo could answer, Erasmus turned back to his console, his fingers flying over the controls. A low rumble reverberated through the room, and a section of the far wall slid open with a mechanical hiss, revealing a dark corridor lined with pulsing, vein-like cables.

Theo raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? The haunted house tour?”

Erasmus didn’t answer immediately. He tapped one final command, and the holographic console vanished. Turning to face Theo, he clasped his hands behind his back, his expression unreadable.

“Thought as much. But you’re going to prove you’re not a complete waste of molecules first.” He gestured toward the corridor. “Through there is a mini testing facility. My drones will be waiting for you.”

Theo’s smirk wavered. “Drones? Like, little robots that deliver pizzas, or are we talking murder Roombas?”

Erasmus’s lips twitched, though it wasn’t quite a smile. “Adaptive combat drones. They’ll test you. Think of it as... a job interview. Survive, and I might consider tolerating your continued existence.”

Theo rubbed the back of his neck, his bravado faltering for a moment. “And if I don’t survive?”

Erasmus shrugged. “Then I’ll mourn the tragic loss of a wonderful and intelligent young man, who went before his time.”

“Cool, cool. No pressure then,” Theo muttered. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “Alright, mate, let’s see what your murder locker has to offer.”

Despite being a professional fighter and living for being in intense situations, Theo was surprised by his ability to face genuine life threatening circumstances with a swagger. "Mid-self-congratulation on being such an alpha Chad, it hit him—Erasmus' ‘calming spray’ was still in effect. His triumph promptly yeeted itself into the void."

The corridor’s air was cool and damp, carrying a faint metallic tang. The glowing cables pulsed in a rhythm that seemed to sync with Theo’s heartbeat—an unnerving sensation that made his skin crawl. He stepped cautiously, his footsteps echoing against the smooth, obsidian-like floor.

As he rounded the first corner, a low whirring sound caught his attention. Theo froze, his muscles tensing instinctively. From the shadows ahead, a sleek, spider-like drone emerged, its body a seamless blend of metal and organic material. Its many eyes glowed a menacing red, and its limbs ended in razor-sharp blades.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“Well, aren’t you a little bundle of joy?” Theo quipped, his fists clenching.

The drone didn’t respond—it lunged. Theo barely had time to dodge, the blade slicing through the air inches from his face. He stumbled back, his heart pounding as adrenaline surged through his veins.

“Oh, great. Murder Roomba’s got moves,” he muttered, a nervous grin tugging at his lips despite the danger.

The drone skittered toward him, its movements unnervingly fast and precise. Theo ducked and weaved, his years of fighting kicking in as he studied its patterns. Punching a robot was probably not the most intelligent move, so he knew he had to use his environment. It struck again, but this time he was ready. He grabbed a loose cable from the wall and swung it like a whip, the improvised weapon sparking as it connected with the drone’s side.

Theo quickly realized he wasn’t in a movie when the cable harmlessly deflected. The drone, however, did let out a high-pitched screech, its movements faltering for a moment. Theo seized the opportunity, lunging forward and slamming his elbow into its central core. The impact sent a jolt up his arm, but the drone collapsed in a heap of twitching limbs.

“Fucking ow!” Theo shrieked as he panted heavily, his heart racing as he stared at the lifeless machine. “One down, none to go, hopefully.”

Back in the control room, Erasmus observed the proceedings with a mixture of annoyance and intrigue. The holographic display before him showed Theo’s progress, each movement and decision analysed in real-time.

“Good God, you’re reckless,” Erasmus muttered, though the corner of his mouth betrayed a smirk. “Maybe don’t cuddle the death drones?”

Theo’s voice crackled through the intercom. “Oh, Raz, you like to watch?”

Erasmus sighed and pressed a button on the console. “I’m just surprised you haven’t impaled yourself yet.”

“Aw, you care,” Theo replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “So what’s next? Bigger drones? Laser turrets? A surprise boss fight?”

Erasmus’s smirk grew. “Keep going and find out.”

As Theo ventured deeper into the room, the challenges grew more intense. The drones became more coordinated, forcing him to think on his feet. His body ached from near misses, small scratches and the strain of constant movement, but his determination burned brighter with each encounter.

Finally, he reached the end of the chamber. At its centre stood a towering drone, twice the size of the others. Its metallic body gleamed under the flickering lights, and its many limbs bristled with weapons.

Theo’s grin returned, though it was tinged with exhaustion. “Boss battle. Called it.”

A wave of seriousness crashed into Theo as an ominous, crimson energy began to build up at the front of the drone. All of his training was in close combat but he had played enough video games to understand that the drone was charging some kind of beam or blast.

He immediately darted sideways and began to circle the drone, weaving behind boxes and shelves. The drone let out a high-pitched squeak as the energy peaked and unleashed a powerful beam at the shelving unit where Theo was sheltering, pinning him against the wall as it heated.

The drone’s beam intensified, scorching the edges of the shelving unit pinning Theo against the wall. The heat prickled his skin, and the acrid smell of burning metal filled the air. Theo gritted his teeth, his mind racing as he searched for an escape.

Pushing against the shelving with all his strength, Theo managed to wedge his knees against the structure, creating a narrow gap. He sucked in a sharp breath and wriggled through, the heat singing his hoodie as he tumbled free.

He landed on his hands and knees, rolling to avoid the drone’s sensor sweep. A metallic squeal signalled the machine’s recalibration, its limbs unfurling like a predatory insect as it tracked him. A secondary hum began to build, the warning of another charge.

Theo ducked behind a toppled crate and scanned the room for an advantage. His eyes flicked to a series of exposed pipes running along the ceiling, their frost-covered surfaces marked with red safety warnings. Coolant.

The plan formed in an instant. Theo grabbed a jagged piece of metal debris from the floor. “Alright, big boy,” he muttered, his grin returning despite the tension. “Let’s see how you like the cold shoulder.”

Bursting from cover, Theo sprinted toward the drone, zigzagging to avoid its tracking sensors. The high-pitched whine warned of the beam’s imminent release. At the last second, Theo dove to the side, the beam slicing through the space where he had been a heartbeat before and melting a deep gouge into the wall.

Using the moment of distraction, Theo vaulted onto a stack of crates and leaped toward the overhead pipes. The drone’s limbs flailed to adjust its aim, but Theo was faster. He swung the metal shard upward with both hands, shattering the nearest pipe. A spray of frigid coolant erupted, engulfing the drone’s upper body.

The drone screeched, its movements jerking as the freezing mist coated its sensors and servos. Theo dropped to the ground, landing in a crouch as the machine convulsed, sparks and ice flying in all directions.

But the drone wasn’t done. With a guttural whir, it countered the freezing with a bursting heating cycle, before sending two of its limbs spinning toward Theo like scythes.

Theo’s gaze darted to the exposed core glowing faintly beneath the frost-covered plating. He charged forward, ducking beneath the swinging limbs. Every instinct screamed at him to retreat, but he pressed on, each step a calculated risk.

The drone reared back, trying to crush him with a downward strike. Theo lunged, sliding beneath the machine as its elongated arm slammed into the ground behind him. In one fluid motion, he jammed the jagged shard into the glowing core and twisted with all his strength.

The drone spasmed violently, its limbs flailing in wild arcs. Theo kicked the robot away as he scrambled clear, a deafening pop filled the air, followed by a series of cascading explosions. Sparks rained down as the massive machine collapsed in a heap of ruined metal.

Theo stumbled out of the empty room, his clothes torn and his body battered. He collapsed onto the floor of the control room, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Erasmus stood over him, his expression unreadable. After a long moment, he extended a hand. Theo hesitated, then took it, allowing Erasmus to pull him to his feet and saying, “Sorry… I broke your sex bot.”