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24.2 - Todd

Miinhart Forest, Desmond, 10416 P.C.

The children had fled, and Todd didn't know where they could have gone. Perhaps scattered in a dozen different directions. By the time he had climbed out of the hole, the only ones to meet him were Jessie and Bethany.

Jessie was red in the face. "What was that?" she burst out as Todd staggered to his feet.

"What was what?" Todd was still trembling from Colette's death, and even the thought of it stung his eyes. He could barely remember how they had gotten to where they were, his mind was so fatigued. His limbs seemed to weigh a ton.

"That!" Jessie pointed at his sword. He looked down at where it was safely tucked in his scabbard. It looked normal. Nothing was out of the ordinary, but he knew what she meant. How could he not know? A normal sword did not slice another sword in half. A normal sword did not glow red-hot. A normal sword didn't cause the ground to explode.

Well, at least the fire had an explanation. Benjamin had told Todd about isdernite, a flammable — even explosive — mineral in the dirt Asrual had been built upon. The moment his blade had touched it had set it off.

What he could not explain was how he had made it out of there alive.

"I don't know," he said in response to Jessie, sinking to the ground wearily. The air was chilly, ruffling his sweat-soaked hair and drying his dampened skin. The trees above them were uninviting, most already down to their last stubborn leaves. The ground was scattered with gold and crimson. Smoke tainted the air. The wind whispered of death. The crackling fire in the hole behind them sang of it. Todd trembled.

Jessie was watching him carefully, her eyebrows furrowed as if she were trying to decipher a complicated puzzle. Bethany stood beside her, clutching her pack to her chest, tears staining her cheeks. She hadn't asked about Colette. Somehow, Todd knew the girl understood. He wished she didn't have to.

"We should be going," Jessie said, finally looking away from him to gaze into the forest. Their tunnel had opened out into the middle of nowhere; Todd had no idea which direction was north even with all the map studying he had done. Jessie continued, her voice solemn. "Most won't make it until nightfall before they're found."

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Todd licked his dry lips, an ache in his chest that wouldn't abate. "What's that say about us?" he asked, brushing away a spark that had been attempting to eat away at the fabric of his pants. There were several frayed holes in his clothes from the fire. He was scraped and bruised, but somehow he had managed to escape without a burn. He hardly pondered it.

Jessie looked back at him, her back stiff. "Our odds are thin. We need to go."

He was struggling to understand how she was so calm after killing Colette. His own murderous actions refused to leave his mind. It terrified him, how easy it had been, how willingly he had allowed himself to sink to that level.

He had never wanted to be a murderer. Now his hands were stained with blood and he didn't even know how he had done it.

"Jessie?" he blurted out as she began to walk away. She turned back to him, silent. He hesitated, adjusting the shield on his back with trembling fingers. "Have you... was..." He fought to word the question properly, finally settling on, "Have you ever killed anyone before? I mean, before... before..."

"Before Colette?" she finished for him.

He nodded mutely.

She eyed him for a long moment. "Yes." No explanation, just the simple truth. He wasn't sure he wanted an explanation.

He did want one answer, though. "How do you cope?"

Understanding flooded her features. She slowly shook her head at him. "You cope, Todd, with the understanding that you did it to protect others. You did it in mercy. For justice. For the greater good. That's the only way to cope." She paused, something unreadable flickering in her blue eyes. "Unless you just don't care."

With that, she turned away from him and began her march into the dark. Todd stared after her, a chill sweeping through his bones at her words. She was a bit dark at times, but he trusted her. He knew he did. What she said did make sense. He had killed those soldiers to protect the children. Those soldiers would have killed them without hesitation.

That still didn't make it right. It only barely justified it.

He hadn't wanted to become this.