Lizzy left the country. It wasn't the first time.

Battles. Skirmishes. Wars.

Studying Abroad. Diplomatic missions.

Many occasions brought her out of the country. When you could cast spatial magic and portal near anywhere in the blink of an eye, you suddenly did it all the time. Then, in order, you got tired of how easy it was. Teleporting became the new mundane. Being forced to chauffeur dignitaries. Sometimes shuttling squads or battalions into an active warzone. And then there were the unavoidable honor duels from the pinnacle of foreign mages. To those who could recognize the signatures, spatial magic was relatively easy to track and put a huge target on the caster's back.

Leaving the country wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were comforts in home. Familiarity. Friends. Family. The booze was better. Still, there were occasions where traveling could be enjoyable again. The foremost among those occasions included one stupidly drunk Lizzy and a Queen.

"Hrm... Come, my queen. Take me into your loving embrace."

Lizzy made kissing noises, blissful in her inebriety.

A firm hand smushed her face in the opposite direction.

"Can't you see I'm driving? Oh, wait. You can't. You're drunk."

Indignant. She'd barely drunk an ounce of water.

"No, I'm not. You're drunk. Hehe. He. Ha...."

She tittered, booping the Queen's adorable nose. Ellie swatted the hand away. Lizzy slouched, laughing as she laid down and burped. Humming sweet, stupid nothings under her breath while she used a finger to draw circles on Ellie's thigh.

"Stop that. That tickles."

"This?"

She continued. Ellie huffed.

"Yes. Now stop it. Don't make me turn this cart around."

Lizzy whined. Pouting.

"Nooo. Reiss is booorring. And smelly. And a poopoo face."

"Sweet Elders, I'm in love with an idiot."

"Haha. I'm your idiot!"

"Yes, yes. Cover your mouth; your breath stinks."

Lizzy was having trouble moderating her voice.

"But you love me!"

She sat up, breathing in Ellie's face. Ellie kept her at arm's length, pronouncing her words forcefully through gritted teeth.

"Yes. I do. But I'll stop if you don't let me drive. In. Peace."

Face smushed again, Lizzy's outstretched arms dropped. Sad. She sniffled. Curling into a ball on the front seat of the wagon. She started to cry and moan.

"Tsk, ugh! Lizzy. Stop crying."

"But...*sniff*... You said..."

"I know what I said. You are overreacting."

Lizzy wailed. Crying loudly, speaking nonsensically, the sound drawing annoyed stares from scattered traffic. Ellie cursed, ensuring their hair was hidden and the disguises held.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"Dammit, Lizzy. Stop or, or I'll spank you."

"Waah! You don't love me... The love *sniff* of my life doesn't love me."

"Stop it, please. Okay. Okay! I love you. I love you, Lizzy, so stop crying and sit patiently."

The sound stopped. Lizzy popped up, right as rain, smooching Ellie on the cheek.

"I love you too."

"Gah. The road..."

Stuck in an embrace, Ellie squirmed unsuccessfully, trying to steer. Lizzy whispered in her ear hotly.

"Is that spanking still on the table?"

Enraged and frustrated in more ways than one, Ellie grumbled.

Primals, save me.

=

The sign they passed read Glenwin Duchy. It was the halfway stop between home and their destination near the Mystol Quagmire. According to Iluzy, that was the location where they could find more clues. She would have been able to tell them directly where the cultists were, but there were overlapping issues with the age of her spell matrix and the Memory Mansion.

The pair were forced to gather most information manually. Luckily, Iluzy told them of an agent they could rendevous with.

It had taken a week to get as far as the Glenwin Duchy without the aid of magic. Undercover, they traveled as mundane brown-haired merchants. The dye made Lizzy's scalp itch.

Luckily they could hide most of their hair in hats and use an illusion spell to hide to rest. Walking around with long brown hair was asking for an ass-kicking.

The Glenwin Duchy was an autonomous region that consisted of flexible woods and fruit exports. The trees were comparably shorter than those in Oirel. There was also an unhealthy amount of rivers and tributaries that sullied the mana potential of the region. The sky wasn't any more exposed than usual, but the canopy ceiling portrayed it as closer than it should be. Lizzy could clearly see clouds skating across the sky.

"Have I asked why you haven't subjugated this area yet?"

Ellie was checking over the cargo in their cart. Part of their cover was transporting mundane wares.

"Yes. I told you my cousins run this Duchy."

"You cousins."

Checking her clipboard, Ellie continued her job that Lizzy was insistent on ignoring.

"You've met them. Surely you remember, Nival Glenwin and her brother?"

"Oh. Her."

"That was years ago. Why are you still upset?"

Remembering the events, Lizzy clicked her tongue.

"No reason. Anyway. Why are we bothering with all this hoopla? Can't we be boring travelers instead of actually working?"

In her mind, there was no need to be so excessive. Posing as simple wanderers on foot or even by cart wouldn't arouse much suspicion. In fact, it was more likely for an unknown trader to be scrutinized than a wanderer. There were countless wandering cultivators searching for magical revelation, lost knowledge, or a new power to serve.

"First of all. I don't see you doing any work. Second, this gives me the opportunity to complete face-to-face business without being viewed as a Queen. Do you have any idea how therapeutic it is to be cursed at? To not be bowed to or addressed as Mam, Queen, or Your Majesty?"

"Or your Highness."

"Or your highness!"

Lizzy laughed, but Ellie was entirely serious.

"Mercantile businesss is honest work."

"More honest than being royalty, you mean."

Thinking about it, Ellie nodded. Finished with her task, all the supplies were accounted for. They would be traded at an inn up the road.

"What you say isn't wrong. Alright, everything is accounted for. We can get moving again."

"Finally. I'll drive."

"Not a chance."

Ellie hip-checked Lizzy out of the driver's seat.

"You can dispose of the spies trailing us."

"Aww, but..."

"No buts. Would you like to do it now or at the inn."

Sighing, Lizzy gave up. Ellie could keep her fake job of being a merchant. Lizzy's job was to keep the Queen safe. Doing it wasn't a bad idea considering her love interest. The only question was how to do it.

Lizzy thought of her options as the cart lurched forward, driven by what Reiss called a giraffe on steroids. Using high tiered magics would leave a trail. Low magics might not do the trick. If she killed them, their bodies could be discovered, and that would also leave a trail. The best-case scenario was to get them to turn away of their own volition. This wouldn't be easy if they are spies. If they were paparazzi or lower forms of stalkers it might work.

Lizzy cracked her knuckles and waggled her fingers evilly.

=

The group of five spies was interrupted in the form of a screeching bird.

"What is that supposed to be?"

An auburn-haired Elden mocked. The bird was a multi-colored toucan about the size of a melon. Screeching, it flew overhead and dropped something.

"It's an attack!"

A female pointed, open firing. The others joined, blasting the falling object with icicles or fireballs—newbie spells.

The spells converged and exploded the bag of flour.

"What the?"

"Flour."

It covered them from head to toe. They spluttered and coughed, not seeing the second bag burst open. Lizzy was inspired by Reiss' earlier duel.

Brightly colored feathers rained down, sticking to the befuddled group, at which point the toucan began to circle high above them, screeching clear-cut words.

"I like butts! Big Butts! I like Butts. Big Butts! I like-"

=

"You are a child."

Lizzy pounded her fist, unable to respond through the fits of laughter and obnoxious pointing.