Reiss shivered as he stepped out of a portal. He flicked a middle finger without looking back.

"I remembered that. Asshole."

A slimy, wet appendage snaked its way across his lower back. With a snap, the portal closed, and an undescribable writhing mass flopped around. Cut off from its origin and dying, Reiss quickened its return to the void by kicking it and stomping like a furious child.

"Don't you dare touch me, you glorified toilet scrubber."

Did it look like a toilet scrubber? No. It didn't. But the role it played was similar enough.

"Incessant pest."

Reiss did a run-up and kicked, fielding the floppy unmentionable. It faded into obscurity as it blended with the rest of the night. Wiping his hands clean of the gangly guts, Reiss turned around with an electric smile.

It was gone immediately.

"I abhor this place."

Reiss stood on a worn path. It didn't qualify as a road. Foot traffic made the path muddy and difficult to traverse. There were a few nearby dwellings with candlelight peeking out from inside. The scenery was bland in every sense of the word.

Weeds were overgrown and unmanaged. The small farmland plots were more like vegetable gardens where someone just threw down whatever seeds were on hand. A huge pumpkin grew next to wheat, and carrots somehow grew sideways instead of downward.

The homes were ramshackle and plain. They wouldn't blow over, but they couldn't be comfortable to live in. Smoke blew out the sides of windows since someone forgot to add chimneys into their urban planning. There was an absence of notable structures like a town hall or administrative building. It was all houses...

Reiss looked at it all and debated going back into the portal for round two.

"Ugh! Fine."

An indignant and childish groan later, Reiss walked into Oster.

The memories from his first iteration were mostly hazy by now. However, he recalled Oster as clear as day. It was an utterly detestable locale with strange and rude residents. Reiss walked away from Oster in his first iteration in a daze. It wasn't until about a hundred or so iterations later that he unblocked the memories.

He needed to shut them in separate vaults to prevent himself from going clinically insane.

Reiss shivered, glancing around for rainclouds.

It took a lot of careful prodding to find out what happened in Oster.

Somehow, Reiss stumbled into Oster in almost every iteration. The purpose changed each time. The reason was often nonsensical. Each time he walked away, he lost something. Whether it was as simple as a shoe that fell off while running from hellhounds or both legs when he stepped on a landmine.

I guess I didn't really walk away from that one, did I?

Running from angry peasants wielding energy weapons. Having to siege a victorian castle that suddenly appeared in the center of the village, blocking his exit. Dodging umbral assassins with nothing but a wooden spoon. Being forced to swallow lemons. Swimming through pools of magma. Needing to construct a log cabin for a handsy hag.

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Insanity! All of it.

None of it made sense. This time wouldn't be any better.

However, for every deed completed, every loss of limb or life, and for each day of madness he spent in this horrific village, Reiss accrued a type of credit. He learned of this only after he needed to spend a day wrangling a class of children. They were constantly on fire. And no. That isn't a metaphor.

A burning child handed him a slip of paper that turned out to be a voucher to meet with the 'manager'. After more prodding, Reiss concluded this manager was more important than their title suggested. When Reiss met him for the first time, he wished he hadn't. The woman was insane. Not in a good way.

...

Sidestepping a tripwire that would let loose a pack of hungry trolls, Reiss kicked open a door.

The door flew inwards, breaking off its nonexistent hinges.

"I've come to collect."

A pair of incisors clapped together slowly, creating a rhythmic warbling. A high-pitched shrill echoed.

Reiss rubbed an ear while waving a hand impatiently at the manager.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's make this short. Give me what I need and I'll leave."

There was a flapping sound as bells clinked together in laughter. A mouth sprouted from the flower petal and spoke English words.

"Have some tea! I mixed it with cherry blood and seven anvils."

Reiss groaned. It was always this way...

"No tea. No desserts or sessions of patty cake. Cover yourself up; your wagon wheels are showing."

Haybales rolled over each other in a sardonic smirk. The headless cabbage chortled, speaking in tongues.

Reiss rubbed his temples.

"Ah... I can feel a migraine coming on..."

The "manager" had no true form. Not that Reiss could glimpse. Every time he blinked or looked away, the immense being changed shape. The sight of it alone was enough to break a mortal mind. It referred to himself as "he" most often, but that changed as fast as she did.

Patrick tripped over his trawl and landed with a perfect ten.

"Ugh."

=

"Look. I played your card game; give me what I want."

Loren frowned with all her crowns. Smacking her tentacles.

"You did not win. I have all the babies and wyverns in my hands, see?"

Barney threw up his flippers in outrage. His blowhole whistled.

"Shut it, don't be a sore loser. I won. Now gimme."

Reiss held out a hand to Jesse. They blinked at him. Once. Twice. The half-fowl half-treant licked its leaves and counted out several objects from its wallet. Reiss swiped a hand, sending the race tickets flying.

"I don't want money. Give me the artifact. I won it fair and square.

Reiss blinked.

"Which should have been impossible."

He blinked again.

"Whatever. Artifact, please."

Warren deflated into a puddle and bubbled a bit before flossing a trinket in Reiss' direction. Nimbly, he caught it, checked it, then flipped the poker table.

Karen didn't have time to bring up her paws before the table impacted her antennae. Rubbing her staplers in irritation, she could only watch Reiss storm out of her hovel.

=

Reiss threw up a rainbow. It was thick and chunky.

He made the mistake of losing too many rounds and being punished with tea.

"I. Truly. Truly. Detest you."

*Hurrp*

The rainbow ended in a pot of silver. Coins clinked onto the patchy grass. Reiss picked out a silver dollar from behind his molars. Quickly popping in a pastry to get rid of the after taste, Reiss took flight and high-tailed it out of there. The liftoff was wobbly; another two coins fell from his mouth. When he was in the air, he flipped both middle fingers backward.

Heckel was a despicable person. Shole could never just be normal. The first time Reiss met Zelda, she dissected him and played with his pieces like a macabre Mr. Potato Head. When it finally got bored of toying with him, Alex put him back together and sent him away with a slap on the butt. The first iteration forgot about Sheryl before his first step out the door.

A defense mechanism.

If you stared too long into the abyss, the abyss stared back? More like the abyss uses you to play dollhouse and makes you regret your parents ever got together.

Reiss blew his nose, a bit of orange-violet rainbow trickling out.

Shivering, Reiss readjusted his flight path.

It was over. He got what he wanted; now, all he needed to do was get to the Elden gate site.

Reiss wrapped the ivory necklace around his wrist, refusing to place it anywhere near Yerali's kerchief. Examining the artifact, it looked more like trinket a peddling merchant might scam you into buying to ward off evil spirits. A bit of thread and several teeth. Tribal looking. Like something the Gnolls might have on them.

None of that mattered as long as it worked.

His gaze intensified as he focused on his destination.

Krom needed time to gain levels and better himself. Lizzy was the one in danger. If Reiss could help prevent the epidemic and subsequent regicide, relieving Lizzy of the constant guilt she rarely let show... everything would be worth it.