“So…” Azami held her wand over her plants, letting water spill out of it, feeding her herbs, “You’ve got the terms readjusted and it’s on your home field,” Azami said, “Now… you have to create a situation where he can’t touch you. For if he does… you’ll perish.” Azami said as she plucked a sprig of thyme and held it up to Kip’s nose, who inhaled it, “Are you still worried?” Azami asked.
“Uhm, yes. Mostly of dying.”
“Ahh, that,” Azami held it to her nose, inhaling deeply, “I love the smell of thyme.”
“So… I’m curious, is there a potion that you could give to me that could make me… more equipped to handle this?” Kip asked, “Maybe some kind of invisibility potion or something that keeps him at a distance? A spell, perhaps?” Kip’s voice getting more desperate as he listed more magic, “A portent? I’ll even take an ungent or a cream. I’ll take a suppository at this point if it makes me stronger.”
“I could do,” Azami said, “But if I gave you a potion and it was the exact right one and it managed to evade the vampire’s expert senses then your subjects would think you only won with my help. Most don’t think you’re right for this role. This is something you need to do yourself. To prove, not just to Davorin, but to everybody that you can do this.”
“How?” Kip asked, “Nudge me in the right direction. What would you do?”
“Intruders leave plenty of magical weapons and armor behind. I suggest you find some that have been collected and you wear one that would help.”
“That’s a good point,” Kip said, “Where is the most magical equipment collected?”
“Most people can not survive in the fourth floor,” Azami said, “The vast connection of dark tunnels and no immediate way out means that a lot of intruders perish in the Unending Underdark.”
“Then tunnels. Thank you, Azami! Uhm, Azami?”
“Yes, Kip?”
“You said most people don’t believe I’m right for the role. Do you believe I’m right for it?”
Azami smiled at Kip, then reached out and plucked a marigold out of its stalk and placed it on Kip’s hoodie. Its shiny golden color added a little pop to Kip’s earthen red tones.
“I came here to live a simple life. I wanted to tend to my herbs, practice my dark magic and live peacefully. If you can grant me that, you have my fealty.”
Kip had a knot in his stomach as he asked the question at the top of his mind, “I don’t have your fealty now?”
“You have my faith, Kip. But loyalty is earned.”
Kip gave a nervous head nod and walked toward the fourth floor. The Dark Lord’s Dungeon was a vast place. Within it, there were many tunnels and entrances meant for intruders to find, like an invisible hand slowly guiding a rat through a maze. But sharing those thoroughfares for delivering resources and transportation with intruders would place the safety of the dungeon in too much danger. As such, many service entrances were put into place. Kip searched for one such entrance. He arrived at the start of the lake and knocked around the different trees until he eventually found the right one. A hearty oak with a notch that looked like a smiley face. He opened it and slipped into the wooden tunnel that led to the underdark.
As Kip walked further down the supply chain tunnel, two enchanted bears were pushing a cart of meats, berries, and vegetables down a track.
“On your left, Kip!” Said one of the bears.
“Hi, Ho, Kip!’ Said the other. They raced past him on the minecart and turned the corner. Kip gave a wave as he walked their same direction at a slower pace. He turned the corner and walked into a wall made entirely of fuzz.
“Oh, sorry!” Kip said and looked up and saw the bears that had just waved at him.
“Kuma? Bjorn?” Kip asked “Why’d you stop?”
“Uh, there seems to be a problem,” said Bjorn, the one in front. “Maybe you can help, seeing as how you’re the new boss and all.”
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Kip walked forward and saw a wide metal pipe from the ceiling down to the floor. It ran right through the track, blocking the cart’s potential access to the lower levels.
“Oh my,” Kip said, “This won’t do at all. We have to get to the bottom of this.”
“We better get this figured out quickly,” Kuma said, “If we can’t get this food to the castle, people aren’t going to be able to eat.”
“Why in the lord’s name would they run a pipe right through?” Kip looked at the bears, “I’m sorry, but until this is solved, one of you will have to run down and get another cart and transfer the food!”
“Right away, boss,” Said Bjorn as he galloped along the tunnel on all fours.
Kip touched the pipe, closing his eyes and creating a starting point. He walked down the tunnel and began a mental map in his head. As he made his way through, he visualized an imaginary red line following him, making sure to maneuver himself under the tunnel so as to find the pipe. After some false ends and doubling back, he was on the right track. Kip was in some far off eastern wing that was not visited by intruders or monsters often. As he approached, he encountered something peculiar. There was a small opening, big enough for him to fit through but not most medium sized creatures. Steam drooled out of the entrance.
More curious than the steam was the music and laughter that could be heard from the dark room. Kip followed the raucous gaiety and his eyes bulged out of his head when he saw them. Naked Duergars bathing in a tub made of carved earth filled with hot water. They were laughing, slapping each others’ backs, singing and drinking from big goblets. They were all settled into a tub, so entranced in their revelry that they didn’t notice Kip show up.
“What…” Kip mumbled, “What is this?”
“MORE WATER!” One of the Duergars proclaimed.
Kip saw Baraz, the duergar who had shown up to the meeting, reach over and pull a string attached to the overhead pipe. It opened the trap and water burst through the pipe, topping up the pool after the Duergars splashed so much of the water out.
“What is happening!?” Kip spoke up and finally the dark dwarves noticed. Baraz looked at him and pointed, “There he is! There’s the man who made all of this possible!”
“I did no such thing!” Kip said.
“Yah, ya did,” The duergar drunkenly grumbled as he extended his hand and looked through his satchel resting on the rockwall behind them, “And I can show ya the paperwork.”
Kip shook his head incessantly, “This needs to be removed at once. The pipe runs right through the supply line. This will affect the food distribution of the entire dungeon. How… if this is coming from the lake, how did you even make the water hot?”
Just then, an orange-red head breached the surface of the hot tub. Sal Mander took a deep breath in and said, “Told you I could hold my breath for a whole minute!” Then, upon seeing his boss said, “Oh, hey, Kip! Come to relax after a little Dark Lording?”
“Sal?” Kip asked, “They’re using your body to warm up the pool?”
“Yessir! Only these fascists have a zero tolerance policy for pool pissing. Even though I told them my piss is piping hot. What do you say, Dark Lord? Would you let me pee in here?”
Kip’s mouth was agape. He looked up and there was a drop that came down from the outside of the pipe.
“We need this tunnel for food. As of now, the bears that deliver supplies are personally transferring the food over from one cart to another!”
Baraz rolled his shifty eyes as he took a pull from his chalice. He took a staggered breath as his nose had too many white hairs to properly breathe through, “What’s it going to be? Are ya going to ruin our fun?”
“Ruin your fun?!” Kip asked, “This is going to ruin everybody’s fun! This is… catastrophe! This simply won’t do!”
As Kip shook his head, his eye caught something amongst the dwarven mining uniform and armor. Kip’s eyes went straight to a pair of rings. One with a blue band in between the gold frame, and one with an orange band.
He approached them and picked them up off the shelf, “Where did you get this?” Kip asked.
“Ahh, looks nice right? Twas a halfling intruder. Stole our bacon one morning. Tracked him down using a hound. He would escape us until we finally set up a trap and plucked him. Nibbled on his ears for breakfast once we did! Still have a bit of ear left, if you’re hungry.”
“What does it do?” Kip asked, holding it up to the blue torch on the cave wall. When he looked through the ring, he did not see what was on the other side. Instead, he saw his own visage from the perspective of his right hand. The hand that held the other ring. Kip did not like seeing how he looked from that angle. When he looked down at his right hand, he could see the blue torch, like a peephole to the blue ring’s perspective.
“It’s yours, Dark Lord,” Baraz dipped under the water until just his nose eyes were above the surface. The water around him bubbled as he absently let out his breath. He pulled his mouth out but his beard remained submerged, “if…”
Kip knew what was coming. He hesitated as he was about to consider all the choices that had been laid out to him. The fight with Davorin was tomorrow. The terms had changed but the danger was still the exact same. One touch. That was all Davorin needed. As far as Kip was concerned, anything that minimized the chance of being touched once would eliminate it. Damn that pesky article 4. It was about the very ethos of the Dark Lord’s Domain. Only the strongest survived. Then why.. Pray tell… did the Dark Lord put him in charge? Combat level zero, been on this green and black earth 24 years and had never made it past level 1 only for him to be put in charge. He had a much greater chance of winning if he took the ring. If he wore it. But then again… if he did and won… what would that mean for his rule? A leadership where he accepted gifts in exchange for more power? Would that be the only effective way to lead? Kip snapped out of it as the duergar finished the sentence. The sentence he knew was coming.
“...Ya let us keep the hot tub.”