“That is completely unfair.” Triss complained. She was covered in sweat and soot as she finally dragged the last cauldron back in place. She glared at Reginald’s cauldron as it settled gently next to hers.
“Miss Triss. You are at least a foot and a half taller than me, and likely quite a bit stronger. In that regard you have an unfair advantage over me. I'm simply leveling the playing field, as it were."
Triss switched her glare from cauldron to lizard. Reginald put on an innocent face, his wand hand hidden behind his back.
Triss stretched her back, then tried in vain to wipe the soot off her hands and clothes. "Well. These clothes are ruined. I suppose they might have survived if I used a magic wand to control a scrub pad instead of climbing in the pot." She glared again at Reginald.
"You could probably do with a bath as well." Reginald said with a perfectly straight face. "I think you're beginning to smell a little."
"Brave words for someone a foot and a half shorter."
"Shorter, but with magic powers." Reginald smiled mischievously. "In all seriousness, it might be best to clean up a bit before we start the tower. At least get some of the soot off so you don't spread it all over the place. Percival would not be pleased if there were soot stains in his tower."
"Percy probably wouldn't like it if there was an 'impudent whelp' in his tower either." Triss said. "You ready to explain how this will work yet?"
"Percival. He's busy in his library, trying to figure out what went wrong with the spell last night. He seems to be a little obsessive with it right now, and it's the perfect opportunity to clean some things I absolutely need assistance with."
"And you couldn't have told me that earlier?" She asked. He had absolutely refused to answer any questions about the tower cleaning job earlier.
Reginald shrugged. "One must..."
"Find entertainment where one can. Yeah yeah." Triss cut him off. "Just you wait. I'll get back at you eventually."
"I shall endeavour to remain prepared. Now, please go clean up. I'll make us some lunch and bring it up shortly. "
Triss laughed. "You expect me to find my way back to my room and figure out the tub on my own?"
Reginald blinked. "You aren't using it?"
"What? Using what?"
"The spirit we gave you. It knows the whole castle layout and how everything works. Think about what you want and wait for a response. It's quite intuitive."
"Oh. I guess that’s a little obvious…if you live in a world with magic. If you’re from a world without magic its a little less obvious,Reginald.” She said in a playfully sarcastic tone.
He shrugged. “I guess I forgot that you’re from a simple, backwards world.” Triss feigned shock as Reginald turned back to the kitchen. “Go, get cleaned up Miss. I’m sure you’ll find your way.”
Triss stood in the kitchen, and thought about getting to her bedroom. The kitchen door suddenly seemed to glow slightly. She went through the door and saw a faint, pale glowing line on the floor leading away.
She followed the line as it went through the castle until at last it ended at a large wooden door. The door glowed faintly. She opened the door, and was pleased to see the foyer of her rooms. The curtain was still pulled shut, and she could see that there was a wooden bracket on one side of the doorway obviously designed to hold the curtain back. A small brass knocker was mounted on a plate beside the door. “Huh. So that’s how he managed to knock on a curtain.”
Triss made her way over to the bathroom, heading straight for the large marble tub. The inside of the tub was made of small white marble tiles that flowed down and around the inside of the sculpted tub. It reminded her of a hot tub, and it was nearly half the size of one. The bottom of the tub had a number of small round holes, and she stared at one, concentrating until she finally heard the familiar voice.
Tub Filler. This is where the water comes from, and where it goes when you drain it.
“Ok. Cool. How do I fill it?” She asked the air. “OH! And how do I control the stupid temperature! I don’t want a freezing cold tub.”
There was no response. Triss rolled her eyes. “Super helpful.” She investigated the tub. After a moment she spotted a small panel at one corner of the tub. It had a white dot and a yellow dot like the toilet panel, about two inches of horizontal space between them. There was also a blue and green dot, separated by two inches vertically. She focused on the white and yellow dots.
Temperature control.
“Helpful.” She pressed a finger against the yellow dot. A small white dot flashed next to the original white dot. She pressed again, and the white dot moved a little closer to the yellow one. “Ok. I can definitely figure this out on my own.” She kept pressing the yellow dot until the white dot was nearly all the way across. The spirit labeled the blue and green as ‘fill control’, so she put that about halfway up. Once she stopped pressing the blue button the tub began to fill. The water came quickly, and within a minute the tub was full halfway with steaming water. “Definitely can get used to this.”
She bathed quickly, since she knew Reginald would be coming soon with lunch. “Going to need some soap. And shampoo, and conditioner. I sure hope they have stuff like that in this world. Otherwise I might as well shave my head.” Once she dried and put on clean clothes she wrapped her hair up in a bun and tied it with a strip of ribbon she took from one of the dresses. She threw the towel on the growing pile of dirty and wet clothes.
She tried in vain for a several minutes to find a way to drain the tub, before stumbling on a solution. She concentrated on the idea of finding a drain control. After a few seconds green fill control dot seemed to glow brighter. “Makes sense I guess. Set the depth to zero to empty.” She pressed the green dot until the tub began to drain with a satisfying gurgling noise.
“So, I have several questions.” She said to Reginald when he arrived with lunch. “For instance, why there isn’t anywhere in here to store towels or clothes or anything. Also, soap. And shampoo and conditioner. I need those.”
If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.
Reginald set down the tray of food, a soup of some kind and two slices of buttered bread. “These are the Royal guest rooms. The typical guest for a room like this doesn’t dress themselves. Or wash themselves. I can probably fetch some more furniture from one of the other guest rooms.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Triss said. She indicated the food. “Aren’t you going to eat too?”
“I ate already Miss. Please, eat. I’ll grab some furniture while you do.”
Triss ate the soup, which was some type of vegetable and grain variety, and finished both slices of bread while Reginald floated in a wardrobe, a vanity with three tall mirrors and a small table with two chairs. They were all made of rich, dark wood with expensive looking appliqués and inlays. He also brought her a large wicker basket, and started throwing the dirty clothes and towels into it. She tried to jump up and help with the clothing, but he had it all picked up before she could help.
“Ready to go?” When she nodded he turned on his heel and strode from the room. She had to hurry a little at first to catch up, but her longer legs helped her to close the distance quickly.
“We in a rush are we?” She asked.
“I would like to get this finished before its time to cook supper is all.” Triss suspected there was something else going on. She didn’t know Reginald well yet, but she was beginning to get a read on him, or at least she thought she was.
They walked through the hallways for several minutes, the orbs lighting and dimming to mark their passage. “Why aren’t there any windows in the hallways?” Triss asked as they walked. “There’s barely any windows in this whole place.”
“This castle was designed to be extremely defensible. The only windows are either on the ocean side or else are very high up. If it weren’t for the demands of pampered royals I believe there would be no windows at all.” Reginald said as they walked. “This castle is one of the few in the world to have a full Orb lighting system, which is what allows the elimination of so many windows. The entire castle is shaped like an amplification rune to help power the magical systems. It also takes advantage of the refracting power of the obsidian tidal stones below. Thats a naturally occurring phenomenon that makes this castle one of the most secure in all the world.”
“How’d Percy get his hands on it then.” Triss asked. She didn’t believe for a second that crazy wizard had built the place.
“Percvial. The previous owner was a dark wizard as well, really into plague magic. He didn’t account for the effects of the tidal stones in one of his tests. Spell reflected, killed everyone in the castle within the day.”
“Percy doesn’t play with plague magic, does he?”
“Percival. Not lately.”
“Ok. Cool. Umm..let me know if he takes it back up, yeah?”
“I can certainly let you know if he tells me in advance. However, If you do begin to feel ill please let me know so I can take proper precautions."
"You're joking, right?"
“Oh look, we’re here.” Reginald said, ignoring her. He opened the doorway to the tower and poked his head inside. “All clear.” He said, pulling his head back.
“All clear? Like, there was a chance it wouldn’t have been?” Triss hissed. “You do realize he wants me dead!”
“You should probably keep your voice down then.” Reginald said with a grin. Then he laughed. “I know its clear. Like I said earlier, he’s in the library. That room is soundproofed, he probably wouldn’t even hear you if you screamed.” He pulled his wand and pointed it down the other hallway. He flicked it and muttered an incomprehensible word. A bright shower of sparks shot far down the corridor. The sparks turned into motes of dust and then settled on the floor. “There. If the dust is disturbed I’ll know. If Percival decides to leave the library, we can make sure he doesn’t see you. See? Safe.”
Triss stepped hesitantly into the room. In the light of day she could see the room clearly. The iron cage still sat open in the middle of the circle like hte night before. The table was far dirtier and disorganized than it had seemed in the dim orb light of night, and the remains of the spell they had cast on her still sat there. A bit of purple goo was stuck to the side of the small cauldron. Beside the cauldron sat the a large black leather-bound book with gold leaf pages.
“Want me to clean the table?” She asked. Triss didn't want to clean the table of course. She just wanted an excuse to look into the book.
“No, I have a very special job for you. Percival wants the rafters cleaned. Apparently he keeps getting dust dropped on his head.”
“And what, you expect me to float up there and clean them?” She asked sarcastically. Her eyes went wide in sudden realization. “No. No way.” She backed away from Reginald.
Reginald reached into his tunic and pulled out a large rag. He threw it to Triss, and she caught it instinctively. “Ready?”
“Not a chance. I’ll break your stupid waaaaaaaaand!!” She screamed as she flew high into the air.
In another part of the castle, Percival Arcanus paused in his reading. He almost thought he heard someone screaming. He listened carefully, straining his ears, trying to figure out if the sound was real or not. The sound sat stubbornly right on the edge of imagining. He shrugged and went back to his book.
“You’ll need to actually use the cloth.” Reginald called up to Triss. “You’ll need - stop screaming please - you’ll need to rub the dust off the top of the rafters.” He mimed cleaning a surface with a cloth.
“You’re an evil little lizard!” Triss screamed down. She had her arms and legs wrapped tight around the rafter.
“I work for a dark wizard.” He called up. “I promise you won’t fall. If you don’t want to be up there, then just get the dust cleaned and I can bring you back down.”
“You don’t want me to come back down.” She muttered. “I’m going to shove that wand so far up your nose it’ll test you for Covid.”
She started rubbing the rafters clean with the cloth. Thick clumps of grey dust began cascading down to the floor. She shimmied along the rafter, cleaning as far as she could reach without having to let go of the rafter she was gripping. “Thats all I can reach!” She called down.
“Move over to the next one.” Reginald called up.
“I have a better idea. You come up here and I’ll use the wand!”
“Just float over. You can’t fall.” Reginald said, ignoring her suggestion. “I’m not bringing you down until its all cleaned.”
Triss reached over carefully for the next rafter. She had to stretch far for her fingers to reach. Slowly and carefully she moved closer until she had a good grip on the next rafter. She unwound one leg from the first rafter and stretched to try and set it on the next one. Suddenly her body flew across the gap, and she found herself with arms and legs wrapped around the second rafter.
“So first of all,” Reginald said when Triss had finished cursing him out for the move. “Most of those suggestions wouldn’t work on me, as I lack the correct anatomy. Second, the nature of familial relationships between offspring and their progenitors in my species means the remainder of your suggestions are highly inappropriate.”
“I still stand by them!” Triss called. “And stop using big words to make yourself seem smart!” She managed to clean the second rafter faster than the first. She moved herself to the third, and this time Reginald was not quite as cruel. He helped her along gently, instead of just flying her swiftly between beams. Ten minutes later, the beams were finally cleaned. It took another ten minutes of arguing before Reginald had enough and pulled her off the beam with magic, lowering her gently to the floor.
“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He said, as she sat in the dust piles on the floor, trying to catch her breath.
“I’m going to kill you. As soon as my heart comes down from the ceiling I’m going to kill you.”
Reginald smiled. “Once your heart recovers we have a lot of work to do.” He swept his arm out to indicate the entire room. Triss sighed as she looked around. The entire room was covered in a lumpy layer of thick grey dust. Small motes floated down still, making the scene look like the world’s grossest snowstorm.
“I bet this would be easier with magic.” She grumbled as she swept the dust off the cage with a broom. Reginald was behind her with something resembling a feather duster, though the feathers were quite strange. They were long and thin and an iridescent green, like a bizarre combination of peacock feathers and grass. He ran the duster over the bottles and pots on the shelf, gently pulling all the dust out onto the floor.
“Magic wouldn't be wise around these components.” Reginald said. “Some of these items are quite rare, and unstable.”
“Like their owner.” Triss muttered. She finished cleaning off the cage, and went to start on the floor. She did her best to gather the dust into piles, but the dust instead darted gleefully away from her in all directions. She swept the broom aggressively at a particularly large pile, and was rewarded with a face full of dust. She sneezed.
“Gentle and slow is the best way to go.” Reginald said. It sounded like a proverb.
“I swear, Reginald. Don’t even with me right now.”
“Even what?”
Triss sighed. Dust blew off her nose and floated gently to the ground. “Never mind.”
Eventually they finished sweeping the piles together, Reginald grabbing another broom once he finished the shelf. He grabbed a small flat shovel and used it to shovel the piles of dust out the window.
They made a quick trip to the kitchen after that to grab two buckets of water and some scrub brushes. They each took a section of the chalk diagram and began to scrub it clean. Triss was surprised at how well the chalk stuck. When she questioned Reginald about it, he said it was magic chalk, as though the answer were obvious.
They were almost finished when Reginald suddenly jumped to his feet, his eyes wide and panicked. “Sorry.” He said in a hurried whisper. “Hold tight!” His wand was in his hand again, and he waved it at her. A familiar feeling of weightlessness came over her. Triss took a deep breath to scream, but the air in her mouth solidified again. She rocketed towards the ceiling, unable to scream. She was placed on a rafter, which she grabbed onto tightly with both arms and legs.
She tried her best to breathe through her nose, the air gag completely shutting her mouth. She froze when she heard Reginald speaking below.
“Yesss Masster?”