Dear Diary,

I'm not sure how I feel right now. Theodore just left, but my head is still spinning. I know I used to contemplate my place in this world and wether I even had a reason to keep going. However, it just feels different when you're told that you forever doesn't have to mean forever, that someone will willingly help you end your life if you just ask them to.

Theodore says that is part of his job as a dungeon diplomat. It isn't just corrupted dungeons and dungeons that can't defend against intruders. Apparently, sometimes, dungeon masters simply get tired of the concept of living forever. We're meant to spend all this time building up our dungeon's defenses to ensure that nothing can harm the dungeon core, costing us our lives. That certainly would make it difficult for the dungeon to naturally fall to enemies. I just don't know how to feel about dungeon diplomats, who are largely supposed to be one the side of dungeon masters, standing on the sidelines, just waiting for the day they are asked to end things.

Will Theodore even live as long as I can? Elivyre is only a half-elf, but even she says its unlikely that she will live as long as I will. One day she will die of old age and I will still be around. I won't even look like I've aged a single day, frozen in time for all my days. That sounds lonely and I'm not sure I could accept having another dungeon diplomat assigned to my dungeon. I need something, someone, that remains the same. I've not even begun to experience how bad things will get as everyone I have met up until now will leave me in what will feel like a blink of the eye. Yet, even the sheer thought of it is terrifying.

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Theodore promised he would come around to visit more often, but it still feels like I spend a lot of time alone. Perhaps, due to our extended lives, once every few weeks is already very little time. I don't know how long it will take to accept how little the passage of time is meant to me to me. Perhaps, I will have to live long enough for a lifetime to pass, maybe it will take longer. Will I even still be the same person on the inside when so much time passes me by?

I'm glad I don't have to worry about forgetting Lee and my family, no matter how much time passes. I had many years to spend with them and every night, now, I relive my memories with them. It's even better than VR as it feels like I truly am there with them all over again. Theodore said reincarnated individuals are rare and that I'm the only one to ever get to keep my memories. If that is so, I can only imagine how easy it would be for others to lost their humanity. Constantly being shunned by everyone you ever meet without precious memories, like mine, to remind them of what's important. How could one ever retain their humanity like that?

-Violet