“I heard you lost.”
Linara smiled. “I did. I was too emotional, overconfident, and I lost for it.”
“Most losers aren’t as happy as you appear to be.” Senral said, leaning back in his chair.
Linara looked over his shoulder, out the window. Ferene - and Cerise - left early in the morning, and were on their way south now. “Winning all the time isn’t good for anyone. It’s good to be beaten every now and then. Reminds us that we have more to learn. Room to grow.”
“Then I’m glad she beat you.” The king said. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time. Reminds me of years past.”
“I want to talk about that. Years past. And the things I’m doing now.” Linara sat down in the chair opposite his. Papers were stacked on his desk, but he was taking a break to talk to her. “Specifically about our relationship.”
“What about it?”
“The fight started when Cerise…said some words to me. I reacted very poorly.” Linara’s smile faltered at her understatement. “You need to be loyal to your wife. Your queen.”
Senral let out a sound, almost like a growl. “This again?” He asked, “I figured from your actions since getting back that you had a change of heart.”
“I thought I did, too.” She agreed, taking a deep breath, thinking over her next words carefully. “I ran away before because I didn’t want to see you with someone else. I was jealous. I came back because I simply wanted you, even if it meant sharing you with her. That was wrong of me. I put my own desires over what is right. What I feel is right.”
“Are you going to leave again?” She could see the sadness in his eyes.
Linara shook her head. “No. I will stay here for a year, maybe longer. I will be here as your friend, but no more than that. I will learn to accept that, rather than throwing a tantrum over things not working out the way I want them to.”
Senral pouted. “So you’re breaking up with me for a second time.”
“You’re married, you idiot. You have two children with her. Don’t neglect her after everything she has done for you.”
“Is this the part where you tell me how amazing her breasts are?”
That brought a smile back to Linara’s lips. “I don’t remember ever saying anything about them being amazing.” She leaned forward, keeping her eyes on his. “I simply pointed out their size. So you think they are amazing?”
He did not blush or look away. “That is none of your concern.” He told her, his voice level.
“Fair enough.” She replied. “I also came to a decision regarding the other matter.”
“Other matter?” He echoed.
“Your third child. The one…offered to me.” His face fell. She could see the guilt. The regret about the situation. “I’ll do it. I’ll raise the baby. Your baby.”
“I have some…questions about that. Atheyara herself did not know the answers.” His gaze drifted away, before glancing back to her. She nodded, urging him to continue. “You do not look a day older than when you left three years ago. Atheyara tells me she is several hundred years old, yet she looks no older than you are. The child will also be like this?”
“Like me, your child will grow normally until adulthood, and then stop. They will heal from injuries faster and survive things that would kill a human.” She patted her side. The pressure hurt, but only mildly.
“And…if the child is male, he would also be unable to have children of his own?” Linara nodded. “Then there is a condition.”
“What is it?” She asked.
He sighed, then looked her in the eye again. “You cannot tell the child about me. About being royalty. You cannot tell anyone about it. At all.” Linara frowned, and he explained further. “If someone knows, then the child would be a political tool. It cannot be known that I have a son or daughter that is outside of my influence. Not that I don’t trust you to keep them safe, but I do not want to make life any more difficult than it has to be.”
“Of course.” Linara said. It made sense. She’d have to lie to the child at some point. At least she’d have plenty of time to come up with something to say. “How many people here know?”
“You, me, and a few very special servants that are attending to Atheyara. Not even Rilren knows about it, as much as it pains me to keep it from him. It will stay that way, however.”
“I see."
A silence fell over the room, with Senral returning to his work.
“It came as a surprise, hearing you request a private meeting with me. I hope you are not here to gloat.” Yenra did not rise from her chair as Linara entered the queen’s study.
Bookshelves lined two of the walls, windows and tapestries covered a third, and the final wall was, oddly, bare. Yenra lounged on a sofa, a book laying open on an angled stand in front of her. “The opposite. I came to apologize.”
This caused the queen to turn her head, looking at Linara. She didn’t say anything, so Linara continued. “I am no longer involved with the king in any way beyond a friendship.”
“Remember our first conversation, alone together? When you were in service to the prince and not a guest, and I was still young and arrogant?”
Linara thought back. “Vaguely.”
“I hated you, then, Linara. I saw you as an obstacle. I see now that you are important to the king. To my husband. When you left, he lost a friend.”
“I am not leaving this time. Not yet. As you say, I am a guest, and I will eventually return to my own life. When I do leave, it will not be as sudden as the last time.”
“Come here, Linara.” Curious, Linara approached Yenra’s seat, kneeling down as the shorter woman made a gesture for her to do so. Upon closer inspection, she saw the queen disheveled. Her hair was still in the same style as she usually wore it, but tied loosely. Her eyes were slightly red, and Linara could smell the wine on her breath. “My baby sister has grown up and gone off to lead troops into battle, and my husband has been spending his nights with another woman. And here you are, apologizing? Why? I have nothing and you have everything. You won.”
“I lost.” Linara said, watching as the queen stared at her in confusion. “Your sister beat me. You should be proud of her.”
Yenra stared at Linara for a moment, then sighed. “Get out.”
“What is this?”
“A horse.”
Ferene couldn’t think of a good way to respond to that. “Yes.” She said. Cerise was holding the reins to the horse that stood - or rather, towered - beside her. A castle servant had called Ferene down to the courtyard, where she found the princess and the animal waiting for her. The horse’s fur was mostly gray with a sprinkling of black, with a white spot on its face starting between the eyes and ending halfway towards its nose.
“I am giving you riding lessons, Ren. I can’t be the only one making use of this time.”
The two of them were waiting in Wellent for both the forces from Olentor to arrive and Wellent’s own army to gather. The previous day, they arrived and Cerise immediately handed over a letter explaining everything and her father called a meeting. Cerise spent the rest of the day gathering up reading materials to study military theory. Even though a captain from Wellent would be leading the force, Cerise took her role as the overseer seriously.
“Thank you.” Ferene said, still unsure how to respond properly. “Why?”
“So you can ride in and save me from danger, of course. A knight needs to be on horseback for the proper effect.” Cerise winked at her. “This is Riverbank. He is from Olentor, but isn’t one of their royal stock. He’s smarter than most horses from Wellent, and gentle. Come over here and take this.” Ferene followed the instructions, approaching the Princess and taking the apple she held out. The horse’s head moved to follow the fruit as it passed from one woman to the other. “Now, hold it out for him. Palm flat so he can take it without biting your fingers.”
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Upon Ferene doing so, the horse reached forward and the fruit quickly vanished into his lips. He extended his neck again, sniffing at Ferene’s hand.
“See, he likes you. You and anyone else who brings him food. Now, I’m going to leave him with you, and get back to my own studies. The stablemaster will be teaching you. Largo, I am entrusting Ferene to you.”
Ferene followed Cerise’s gaze to a man leaning against a wall. He stood and slowly walked over. Ferene watched him closely. He seemed completely nonthreatening, slightly limping, a bit shorter than Ferene herself, and covered in a thin layer of dirt that matched the color of his hair. Upon reaching the two women, he took the reins from Cerise and she waved goodbye to Ferene before casually walking away, not looking back.
“Do you know anything about horses?” Largo asked, looking at the animal instead of Ferene. He pulled an apple out of his pocket and fed it to Riverbank, who snatched it up just as quickly as he had the one Ferene offered.
“They are expensive.”
He sighed, but nodded. “They are. So you’re going to be careful with this one, then?” He spoke slowly, rubbing the animal’s face.
“Yes.”
“Good. First thing you need to know is that the horse needs to know you are there. Don’t startle him, don’t stand behind him where he can’t see you without letting him know you are there. Warhorses are different but this isn’t a warhorse. He’s a riding horse. A good one, at that, so you’ll start with the basics. Princess says you only have a few days but I can get you riding in that time. Not well, but riding. As long as you don’t do anything stupid to my horses.”
Largo’s teaching was slow but thorough, most of the time focusing on the animal rather than Ferene. The first day he simply had her interact with Riverbank without ever doing any riding. She learned to feed him, how to lead him around the stables, and how to talk to him. Ferene found the last one an odd mix of ease and frustration. Riverbank responded best to simple commands, which Ferene was glad for, but Largo also told her that the horse liked the sound of people’s voices, and that keeping up a conversation with him was important. Ferene didn’t know how to converse with people, let alone animals. Riverbank couldn’t even speak back.
When she expressed this to Largo, he simply disagreed with her. “He doesn’t speak but he’s got a lot to say. Look at his ears. His tail. The way he holds his head. His eyes, nose, and mouth. Even his legs and the way he stands. Surely you’ve talked with someone that can’t talk back before, right?”
Ferene nodded in understanding. Despite not looking at her, Largo must have seen the motion, because he smiled. “Let’s undress him and put him back. Tomorrow we’ll see if he’ll let you ride him.”
After the two released Riverbank back to his pasture, Ferene was intercepted before she could enter the castle, a servant directing her to the baths and informing her that she was not to appear before the princess looking and smelling the way she did. Cerise had seen her covered in blood, but the servant didn’t care about that. Shrugging, Ferene did as instructed. She was covered in a lot of dirt and smelled vaguely of horse.
She found Cerise in the princess’s room, sitting cross-legged in her bed surrounded by books. Upon hearing her enter, the princess looked up, smiling at Ferene. “Did you have fun, Ren?”
“I learned about horses.”
“And I learned about war. A lot about formations. There is so much to read. I feel like my eyes are bleeding. These books are informative but they aren’t exciting.” She put down the one she was holding. “What is your favorite book?”
Ferene opened her mouth to say that she didn’t know any books, but stopped. “The Crow and the Rabbit.” She said. Cerise stared at her, blinking once. Ferene wasn’t sure what to make of the expression.
“The children’s story?”
“A child read it to me. It’s the only book I know.”
“What did you like about it?”
“I don’t know any other books.”
Cerise chuckled. “I’ll have to read you a book some time. Not now. Too many books. My sister could read this much, if she wanted to. She loves reading and used to read to me.”
“Can you read me a book about Resh?”
Once again, Cerise gave her that strange look. “I can probably find one. What is your interest in Resh?”
Ferene would have reached for her sword, but she didn’t have it. It was in her room, which was attached to the princess’s room. “The man who gave me my sword said he was the last of the knights of Resh. Someone else I met said it looks like a sword that was used by those knights, long ago.”
“I didn’t know you were already a knight.”
Ferene shook her head. “He only gave me the sword. He didn’t tell me anything about the knights. I can’t be one of them.”
Nodding, Cerise stretched. “Up for a walk? I need to do something that isn’t sitting here.”
“People are going to die. I’m going to watch people die.”
Ferene stayed silent, watching Cerise as she sat down on a bench, leaning forward and looking out at the city below. Wellent’s people built their castle into the side of a mountain, with the city on the plain below it. To reach the castle, one had to follow the road as it went back and forth up the side of the mountain. Ferene felt it was almost Hatharen in design. The entire population of Yonthal could live within the castle’s walls, in far greater comfort than the caves carved out of the fissure.
“I know you killed those men in front of me before, but…they were right there, threatening me. Attacking me. I’ll be far away this time, watching. Just watching. If the south does invade, there will be a lot more death.”
“Why is everyone convinced the south will attack?” Ferene asked. The question had bothered her for some time, but she hadn’t asked about it. Not until now.
“Ettsgras and Celngi are large nations. The only thing that threatens either is the other one. If the two were to clash, which seems likely, the winner would absorb what is left of the other, and there would be nobody left that could stand up to them. Nothing to stop them from conquering everything north, all the way to the mountains. What ruler wouldn’t want to put everything under their control?”
Ferene hadn’t thought of it that way. The people she met in Ettsgras had only spoken of Celngi, not the rest of the region. “If you had an army big enough, would you conquer the south?”
This time, Cerise went silent, not looking at Ferene, but instead keeping her eyes on the city below them. “If the king - King Senral, not my father - were to order it, I would do that. There are better people to do it, but if I had to-“
“Would he?” Ferene asked.
“I…I don’t know.”
“I met the general in Ettsgras. I saw the army.” The city below them paled in comparison to the sea of tents outside Ettsgras, much less the capital itself. “I don’t think they would come here. They could.”
“Did you meet the king?” Ferene went silent at this, shaking her head. Cerise still didn’t look at her, but took her silence as an answer. “If the king says to march, a general will march. Unless you know what the king wants, knowing the general is useless.”
“I see.”
Cerise rose to her feet, looking up at Ferene. Taking a few steps to close the distance, the short girl leaned against her knight. “I know I said I’d do this, but the more I think about it, the more I learn, the less I want to. We have to deal with these….these criminals, I know that, but the idea of fighting a war scares me. My people dying to protect their land. To protect me and my father. I want there to be another way.”
“Could you talk to the king of Ettsgras?”
“I could, but they might lose. If Celgni wins and they saw us talk with Ettsgras, it would make them more likely to attack us, as punishment for working with their enemy. If we go to Celgni and Ettsgas wins the same is true. If we go to both, we risk offending both. Being seen trying to play on both sides makes us look both weak and manipulative. Getting involved in any way is a risk we can’t take.” She wrapped her arms around Ferene’s ribs, squeezing her lightly. “I wish I was big and strong like you. I’d be able to fight for myself.”
Ferene thought back to her fight against the former Olentor soldiers, all those months ago. “I’m not an army.”
“You can be part of one, Ren. I’m a delicate princess that can’t fight at all. I have to stay back and watch because I’m a liability otherwise. All the studying in the world won’t change that. I’m short and weak, you’re big and strong.” Cerise gave Ferene another squeeze, then let go, pulling away from her and sitting on the waist-high wall opposite the bench, staring not downward, but outward, at the countryside beyond the city. “After the fighting, you’re going to leave.” It wasn’t a question.
Stepping to Cerise’s side, Ferene joined her in looking at the landscape. As the sun set to the west, the plains to the south were bathed in red. “I’ll go south. Back to Ettsgras.”
“What is there?”
“The general is a Hatharen. Her name is Taradira. Taradira Suladan. She will know what to do.”
Cerise was silent in thought for a time. “You’re right. Ettsgras is not our enemy. Not yet. Wellent can’t help but fear a larger nation, but you aren’t part of Wellent, despite all my attempts to keep you here. You don’t have to fear them the same way.”
The worries of a nation were beyond Ferene, but she understood the weak fearing the strong. She had lived on both sides of that. As much as she never wanted to go back to living in fear of others, she knew that not everyone was able to make that choice. Cerise would never be as strong as she was, and Wellent would never have an army like Ettsgras. This place wasn’t for her. She would never get used to sleeping in feather beds covered in silk sheets. When was the last time she slept in a pile of hay in a barn loft, or just sitting with her back against a tree? Her new clothes and fancy cloak were one thing, but the lifestyle was something else. She couldn’t feel right here, she couldn’t blend in the way Linara did.
“I’ll come back to visit.” She wasn’t being banished. She would never be allowed to return to Yonthal, but she could return to Wellent. In all her travels, she rarely visited the same place twice, but she never had a reason to go back somewhere before. She wanted to go back to Ettsgras to see Taradira again, but Velan would be there as well. She wondered if he had become a royal scholar like he wanted. Tullund would be there with Taradira. She could come back here and see Cerise. Somewhere out there, to the south, was Lana and her group of bounty hunters, and in a small town called Riverhill, her father was probably single-mindedly working on something that Ferene would never understand. “I’ve never had a place to come back to before.”
Cerise turned to look up at her, eyes wide. “Really?”
“I never thought about it before now. There’s so many places I can go back to, people I can see again.”
“What did you do before?”
“I killed people and moved on. I didn’t make friends.”
She could see the sadness spread across Cerise’s face. “You can always come back here, Ferene. I’ll make a royal order, get it put in writing. There will always be a place here for you. I promise you that.”