A few years ago, before the kidnapping.

—

I laughed, chasing my brothers and tripping over my own feet. I didn't care, I just got up and kept chasing. I was one of six, five brothers and me. I was the youngest of them all, at fourteen to the eldest brother's twenty. We didn't care though, he played with us all the same whenever he had time after his schooling. The others were sixteen, eighteen, and the twins were nineteen. We were close to each other, always together and nearly inseparable. Once Ramir, the eldest, was twenty my parents started preparing him to rule in their stead. His time was almost entirely taken up by lessons and training, but he found time for us five anyway. He was protective of all of us, but especially me. I was always smaller than most my age, but had far more than enough energy to make up for it. I was always getting in trouble or being a general nuisance.

We were playing in a clearing in the forest nearby the keep, a river cutting off one end of it and fresh snow layering the ground. We laughed and tumbled and wrestled with each other, playfully batting and hitting each other. Ramir was standing nearby, lounging in the snow and watching us with a grin. He glanced up at the sky before calling us over.

“Come on, pups! It's getting late, we need to start heading back!”

We groaned and grumbled but complied, untangling ourselves and padding through the tousled snow to follow him back home. We didn't get four steps into the trees when he froze, holding out an arm for us to stop. I peered around him, eyes widening as I saw what made him pause. A massive bear was standing there not twenty feet away, snuffling at our old prints. But it wasn't just a normal bear. If it was, Ramir could have killed or scared it off easily, being a level thirty rare class himself. No, this was a true monster. Its fur was made of metal, claws like sword blades and a fiery glow emanated from its mouth, melting the nearby snow. Its burning red eyes were locked directly on us, and for a long moment we all just stood there. Then everything happened at once. Ramir unsheathed his greatsword, yelling for us to run as he countered the bear’s charge. My siblings did, vanishing into the forest towards our home. But I froze, terrified and unable to move. I watched as Ramir and the beast battled, trading blows and both becoming progressively more injured, blood and what looked like oil staining the snow crimson and black. Ramir glanced back at me, eyes widening as he realized I was frozen in terror.

That brief moment of distraction was all the bear needed, rushing at him with a feral roar and shredding his chest, bloodstained clothes ragged and torn. Ramir screamed in pain, turning back to the bear and lowering into a lancer’s stance. By now, the fight had moved into the clearing, and the raging ice cold river was to the monster’s back. I realized what he was going to do too late.

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“Forgive me, Lycara, and tell the others I love them.”

I screamed at him, telling him not to, but it was too late. He was already in motion, his massive sword held like a lance and charging. The blade went straight through the bear’s stomach with a sickening crunch of bone and tearing of flesh, oily blood spraying the ground as Ramir kept going, kept pushing, forcing the bear backwards into the freezing waters. But he didn't let go, the bear savaging his chest and arms as he forced the bear further and further into the water. By now, even the fast flowing water was stained dark crimson,and the moment the bear reached the heart of the river it lost its footing. It roared in pain and panic, digging its claws into Ramir's shoulders and dragging him into the rushing water, still fighting as they disappeared downstream. I stood there, frozen, unable to comprehend what I just watched happen. Ramir, my big brother, my confidant, my dearest friend… was just gone. The next few hours passed in a blur. One of the twins rushed back with a squadron of knights, all heavily armoured with enchanted weapons. They found me standing there, staring blankly into the river and surrounded by bloody snow. I was almost completely catatonic, I was later told, and spoke barely enough in a whisper to tell them what happened before shutting down completely. I refused to speak to anyone, just a staring at nothing for hours until my father got back from his patrol and rushed straight to me upon being told. I woke up when he started shaking me, yelling at me to tell him that the guards were lying, that Ramir was alright and just out at the moment. I burst into tears, sobbing as my father tried to get me to explain what happened. After a few minutes of not getting anything intelligible from me, he left, leaving me alone in my room. From that day forward, he was distant and cold towards me. My mother, who was away on a diplomatic mission at the time, returned within the week to the news that her oldest son was dead. They never found his body, but Ramir's sword was found embedded and frozen in the corpse of the bear a few miles downstream from the clearing. They hung his sword on the wall and skinned the bear, making a rug from its metal fur and hanging it on the wall behind the blade. I can't even look at it without being reminded of that day. Over the years I tried and failed to forget the image of my brother being dragged into the river, and my parents grew ever more distant. I think they blamed me for his death, but they never said anything. I was still close to my siblings, but as they all left home except for the twins to pursue their passions, I was left with no one to talk to or play with. When I finally turned nineteen, I left home to learn smithing at the dwarven forges in the capital. My parents were only too happy for me to be gone, sponsoring me with guards, a carriage, and money to get started. Of course, that all went off track when the slavers attacked me, and I once again froze at the blood. It brought the memories to the surface, and over the year of my captivity I learned to push through them and just keep going.

One step at a time.