The first thing to hit was the fear. Sheer, unadulterated terror that locked up my body and caught my breath in my throat. The memories of my time in the mine, when I watched all my guards that I had known for years and called my friends slaughtered in front of me. The drowning fear that I would die there, with no one ever finding me again. Just another death in the portfolio of the slavers.

All I could make was a pitiful whine, and since Allysa had left at some point I was all alone. And with that thought was the loneliness, a crushing weight on my chest that refused to lift. The feeling of being ostracized, of being separated from everyone and everything I had ever known, cut off from the world with no one to help me. The panic of isolation, of the darkness and cold of every night spent curled up in the tiny lean-to they set up over me to make me work for longer.

I could feel [Umbral Meditation] flare in an attempt to help calm me down, but it did not help at all. If anything, by forcing introspection through the meditation it made it worse, making the outside world fall away and my tumultuous emotions burn even brighter.

I could feel my breathing quicken and my heart race, but hear nothing past the ringing in my ears. I curled up into myself, and vaguely registered someone speaking to me telepathically, but then my willpower slammed down my mental defenses instinctively, cutting off the connection entirely. Seconds later I heard the door to my room bang open, and someone shaking my shoulder. I tried to focus on it, the sensation or the touch, but a new emotion was dredged up: rage.

The rage at the injustice of my kidnapping and capture, the rage at the deaths caused by it. The rage at the realization that, to set up the ambush, someone had to tell them where I would be. The slavers that beat me, tortured me, nearly killed me. That someone had betrayed me. The other prisoners, forced to mine silver day in and day out, with little food and even less rest. The agony of my leg, of the many, many bruises and broken bones suffered during my ‘stay’. At the leader of all the slavers, my daydreams of ripping his eyes from his skull and tearing out his throat.

When the anger faded, the pain took its place. Over a year of accumulated pain, emotional and physical, hit at once. I curled further into myself, whoever was shaking my shoulder stopped for a moment as I moved before moving away. I was only dimly aware of this, as my entire body felt like it was on fire. Every muscle, every bone, every nerve, every bit of flesh clenching in agony as all of the built up torture hit at once.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

What snapped me back to reality was the feeling of someone wrapping their arms around me, a tight hug cutting through the pain. [Umbral Meditation] shut down, dimming the too intense emotions to something a little bit more manageable. I realized I was making a strange noise somewhere between a whine and a snarl, and slowly forced myself to quiet. Able to see somewhat clearly once more, I was able to vaguely make out Allysa's shape next to me, with another three people standing around us.

I recognized Draven and Pala, along with one other woman I didn't recognize. I could feel a concept and mana radiating from Pala, and assumed she was trying to heal me. The issue is, there was nothing to heal. It was just pain without any true injury or wound.

However, slowly, ever-so-slowly, the pain faded. The backlash of losing [Disassociation] finally ended, the year of pent-up emotions spent and gone. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as I fall limp, leaning onto Allysa's shoulder. She continues to hug me for several minutes, during which no one speaks or breaks the silence. Eventually, she does speak.

“Are you alright now, Lycara?”

At my weak nod, she gently pulls away, leaving her hand on my shoulder. I take another, shuddering breath and look up at the others. Draven's brown hair and dark eyes are easily recognizable, as are Pala's blonde hair and green eyes. However, the third person is a mystery to me. I see black hair that shimmers a deep indigo in the light, and silver eyes that seem to stare into my soul, all complemented by a black robe with silver accents.

Then I blinked, and she was gone. A quick look at the others showed no surprise, so I assume they either didn't see her or are used to the disappearing thing. And since the first seems far more likely, I put it to the side as either an emotional overload-induced hallucination or a magic effect.

Either way, it was quickly pushed out of mind when the adrenaline also wore off, leaving me to slump bonelessly back onto the bed. The silence stretched on for a few minutes as they allowed me time to catch my breath. It was eventually broken by Pala.

“I take it you deactivated [Disassociation]? Were you not told to have someone nearby to help with the backlash?”

I nod before taking a shuddering breath.

“I... I got a skill evolution for it… Forgot about the…. the backlash.”

Pala's expression sours as she goes to say something else, but is cut off by a sharp look from Allysa. Clearing her throat, Allysa pats me on the shoulder once more.

“If it was an evolution, then it's understandable that you may have gotten a bit overexcited about it and forgotten. Is that what happened?”

At my confirmation, she stands from the bed.

“Then I think it's best for you to get some rest. We can discuss this tomorrow.”

And with that, she ushers all of them out of the room, and I fall asleep seconds later.