Psycho entered the dining hall with the other eunuchs. After attending to the women in the bathhouse, a process Esther had tried to make as difficult as possible for him, the men had been ushered away to be fed a meager meal of bread and soup. Though it was adequate food, it paled in comparison to the aromas the elf’s sensitive nose detected wafting from the nearby kitchen. Psycho’s stomach rumbled.
None of the other Eunuchs showed visible reactions, and the archer wondered if their libido wasn’t the only thing that had been permanently stunted. The other men hardly ever talked, treating Psycho with such indifference that it was as if he wasn’t there. Or, perhaps, they treated him as if he had always been there, just another cog in the royal machine. As the only non-human, he stuck out, and while the other men looked strong and capable, none of them appeared as battle-hardened as the level 20 ranger. His presence should have caused more of a stir than it did.
Jace wanted him to gather information, which proved difficult since none of the men had spoken more than two words to him. “Wear this.” “Carry these.” “Eat that.” “Follow me.” Still, Psycho’s time hadn’t been entirely fruitless. He recognized the two eunuchs that were different from the others. They attended to foreign women with the same features. As the king and queen entered the dining hall, the elf saw that she must also be from the same foreign nation. Jace had said Kai had overheard two eunuchs talking about the assassination attempt, and it wasn’t difficult to guess which two.
The king was taller than Psycho expected, with black hair and a beard, each flecked with silver. He carried himself well for an older man with more muscle than fat, and the elf didn’t think Esther would complain too much about having to spend the night with him.
The prince and princess entered with their parents. The son was nearly an adult, while the daughter hadn’t yet entered adolescence. The children sat on either side of their father, leaving open seats between them, while the queen sat on the far side of her daughter. The children were an expected mix of heritages, sharing features with both parents. The two foreign eunuchs moved to stand behind the queen while the rest of the men moved to positions behind empty chairs along the length of the table. They stood against the wall, at least ten feet from the vacant seats. Psycho didn’t know where Esther would sit, so he took up a position at the foot of the table, giving him a good view of everyone.
He saw cutlery for almost 20 people with engraved porcelain dishes, crystal wine glasses, and polished silverware. Bowls of fruit, plates of bread, tubs of butter, and bottles of wine sat in a precise pattern, giving every potential guest access to anything they wanted.
Other officials entered after the royal family, including a priest, a few scholarly-looking individuals, and the royal cupbearer. Most of them took the empty seats left by the children and began pouring drinks while the cupbearer – Kai had called him Enrique – carried a personal wine bottle. He filled a glass, took a sip, and then set it beside the king. A quartet of royal guards also entered and stood at attention behind the head of the table against the wall.
Then, the women entered. The parade of exquisite beauty was something to behold. Each woman had their hair exquisitely done, with elaborate braids interlaced with strings of gold, silver, and pearls. Their dresses fell within a narrow color scheme of red, white, and green, with plunging necklines, tight bodices, and long skirts. Persephone led the way, quickly moving to the seat closest to the king on the prince’s side. The two foreign women took seats next to the queen while the rest of the women sat in front of their eunuch, equally spread down the length of the table. Psycho noticed that nobody chose the seat directly next to the queen’s handmaidens, giving the foreigners a buffer.
The second to last woman stood out, and at first, Psycho wondered if she wasn’t another daughter of the king. Her youth alarmed him, evident in the way she presented herself. Her pigtails contrasted starkly against the older women’s hairstyles, and her purple and yellow dress with long sleeves and loose fit looked nothing like the others. She took a seat at one of the two empty chairs at the foot of the table. Psycho noticed that while the king barely noticed her entrance, the prince did and gave the young woman a warm smile.
Then came Esther, and Psycho heard the king gasp. Her ruby red dress was the most daring yet, with a neckline that left little to the imagination. In addition to its low cut, the bodice split down the middle, revealing a narrow strip of skin over her sternum and almost down to her navel. Psycho had no idea how the strapless, backless gown stayed up; however, Esther’s body defied gravity in so many different ways, why shouldn’t her clothes? The thin, silk skirt hung almost to the floor, just allowing glimpses of sparkling red heels, and it had a slit so high up the left side that her leg entirely emerged from the fabric with every other step.
Psycho had never seen Esther wear her hair up before, and it was done in the same extravagant fashion as the others with braids, gold, and silver. The magical diamond earrings hung from her lobes, and a triple string of black pearls lay on her chest. She captivated the room.
Esther eyed the empty seat at the foot of the table before Psycho’s position but chose the chair much further up next to the queen’s handmaidens and almost directly across from Persephone. The senior woman scowled at the newcomer, her eyes trying to burn holes through the beautiful woman. She whispered harshly at Esther, and the elf’s keen ears picked it up. “That’s not the dress I gave you!”
“I made some modifications,” Esther muttered, her lips barely moving as she kept a broad smile for all to see and bowed slightly toward the king before taking her seat. Psycho knew of Esther’s unique fashion skills and smiled at her clever reaction to the other woman’s attempted sabotage.
“You should sit over . . .” Persephone started to point to the end of the table but cut her rebuke short as she saw the king rise and bow in her direction. She shifted her face back to an alluring smile before realizing the king’s attention belonged entirely to Esther.
“Welcome, my pale flower, to my bouquet of beauty,” Azurous said with a sweeping gesture toward the other women. “And what is your name?”
“Esther Xerxes, Your Majesty,” she replied, lifting slightly from her seat to bow again. Every motion of her torso threatened to reveal more of her body, but the dress magically stayed in place. Psycho saw the tantalizing display was not lost on the king nor the queen, who rolled her eyes in frustration and downed half a glass of wine.
“Welcome, Esther,” the king said, taking his seat. “I hope you enjoy your time here.”
“She is the niece of a traveling tradesman, Your Grace,” Persephone said. “She might not be with us long.”
“Then we would be foolish not to enjoy the time we have with her,” the king said.
Persephone winced at the response and nodded.
The food came next, and Psycho worked hard not to drool. Servants placed dishes of seasoned meat, rice, and beans before the guests, with aromatic bowls of sauteed mushrooms, onions, and peppers to compliment. Plates of thin, unleavened dough accompanied the food, and Psycho watched Esther try to figure out the proper procedure. Most of the women only nibbled at the food, adding a few pieces of meat or a spoonful of rice and then picking daintily at it. The words “Nibbled” and “Daintily” had never been used to describe how Esther interacted with food, and Psycho watched her finally figure it out after observing the prince.
The young man held one of the flat circles of dough in his hand and scooped a combination of meat, rice, beans, and onions onto it, adding a spicy tomato-based sauce. He then wrapped the whole thing up like a scroll and ate it with his hands. Several of the other officials did the same thing, as did the king. It didn’t matter to Esther that none of the other women did this; it looked fun, and she wanted to try everything.
Her first attempt met with disaster. She added generous spoonfuls of everything around her to a piece of dough and, despite the rogue’s supreme dexterity, was unable to wrap up the enormous portion successfully. The dough split and dripped sauce, but this didn’t stop her from shoveling it into her mouth. She moaned in appreciation at the flavor and licked her fingers (and forearms) clean from the juices that escaped.
Persophone stifled a laugh, and Psycho understood that she still ensured the noise received the attention she wanted. Several people looked at her and then at Esther as she unsuccessfully attempted to fit the bursting food into her mouth without it falling out all over her. Several others laughed at her efforts, picking up their napkins and wiping their mouths on her behalf. Esther ignored them and, after four impressive bites, finished her first serving. Only then did she notice the attention she had garnered and the mess she had made. She picked up her napkin and wiped her hands, face, and chest where a few drops of red sauce had landed. She used her fingers to snag several pieces of meat and vegetables from her plate and popped them in her mouth.
“Did your uncle not feed you,” Persephone asked, “or have you never had a taco before?”
The other women laughed.
“Oh, come now,” King Azurous said. “Be easy on her. She is obviously new to our customs and food.”
“It is very good,” Esther said, already reaching for a second tortilla shell to build another taco. “I haven’t eaten food like this before. I apologize if I am doing it wrong.”
The other women laughed again but then paused as Esther reached for a bowl of slender roasted red peppers. The uncut vegetables were too large to fit in a taco, and she saw no one else had tried them yet. She grabbed one by its woody stem and, before anyone could stop her, stuffed it into her mouth. Several people gasped audibly, and by the look on Esther’s face immediately afterward, Psycho thought she had bitten into a live fire scorpion. Still, the powerful woman absorbed the heat, chewed, and swallowed.
Stolen story; please report.
“Wow,” she said afterward, “that was good. Are there any of those chopped up so I can put it in here?” She motioned to the empty tortilla on her plate.
The king laughed. Around the table, several women took deep draughts of ice water on Esther’s behalf, but she didn’t even look toward her wine. The prince answered her call, lifting a small bowl of unique sauce that had been placed before him. “Here,” he offered, though he sat too far from Esther to effectively pass it. A servant rushed to help him and carried the dish to her as Esther assembled her next taco, careful not to overfill it this time. “The cooks put it before me every meal as a dare, I think,” the prince added. “I haven’t been brave enough to try it yet.”
“It is a rite of passage, son,” Azurous said. “I know your mother spoils you with her nation's bland food, but if you are going to lead your people, you should embrace their boldest flavors. However, few Madrians will eat a Habinia pepper without first removing the seeds.”
“Is that what these are?” Esther asked, reaching for another of the whole peppers and taking it in one bite. She suffered through the heat for a moment as she chewed, expressions of both pain and pleasure crossing her face before she finished. This time, she did reach for a drink, but it was wine, not water, and she only sipped at the red liquid, swirling it around her mouth before swallowing. “They are excellent.”
“Amazing,” the king said.
“They are only peppers,” Persephone said, insanely jealous of the attention Azurous gave the new woman. She also reached for a grilled Habinia, though she was wise enough not to put the whole thing in her mouth, only biting halfway through, knowing most of the firey seeds lay close to the stem. Still, her face turned an alarming shade of red almost instantly, and she reached for her water as casually as she could before she drained it all. That wasn’t enough, and she motioned desperately toward a servant for a refill.
Esther looked on with concern at the suffering woman, but King Azurous had eyes only for the pale-skinned beauty. “Where are you from, exactly?” the king asked. “Do they have spicy food in your home as well?”
“I am from Crestfall,” Esther said, turning away from Persephone, who was now sweating profusely as she tried to find some cold water to drink. Looking toward the head of the table, she added, “But we don’t have spicy food, particularly. I eat mostly pancakes.”
The queen laughed, spurting out a bit of food. “The demons, you do,” she scoffed. “Not if you are going to fit in that dress. At least you don’t keep them down.”
Psycho could tell Esther didn’t wholly understand the queen’s insult. “I like waffles too,” Esther said. The young harem girl and the princess laughed out loud at this, and soon, the prince and king joined in. After a moment, most of the table chuckled—everyone except Persephone, who had drained a second glass of water, looking like she was suffering from a poison attack.
Esther didn’t really understand why everyone thought her statement was funny, so she reached for more food, carefully monitoring the portions to leave room for the spicy salsa the prince had passed her.
“So you are just naturally resistant to spicy food?” the king persisted.
Esther shrugged. “I guess so,” she said idly, focusing more on assembling her taco than what she was saying. “One time, I drank a serpentine alchemist. Their blood is infused with so much venom that it burns much worse than . . .” the gasps at the table pulled her out of the memory, and she realized what she was actually saying. Esther lifted her eyes from her plate to see everyone in slack-jawed horror at her words.
The rogue laughed. “I’m sorry, what am I saying? Maybe the spice is getting to my head.” She took a sip of wine. “Or perhaps it is the alcohol.” She took a second sip. “What I meant to say is that serpentine alchemists make an anti-venom called Blood Wine. It is supposed to protect you from snake bites. Some say it is worse than getting bit. I tried it once, and it wasn’t so bad.” This hastily thrown-together improvisation was more palatable, and most of the guests returned to their food. Though, not all.
“She is clearly lying,” the queen said, idly munching on a plain tortilla shell. “If Kai Morte were still here, he would throw her in the dungeon.”
“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have banished him,” the king bit back. “You, of all people, shouldn’t question the customs of foreigners.”
Queen Vashti wanted to fight back but knew the foolishness of criticizing the king before his officials.
The king smiled at his humbled wife and turned back to Esther, who now stuffed a third of her second taco in her mouth. “Well, I, for one, appreciate a lady with a good appetite.”
As if on cue, all the harem women reached for more food, filling their plates to please the king. Everyone except for Persephone, who had now downed a second full glass of wine, hoping the alcohol would dull the pain within her. All it did was make her drunk, and she spilled more wine on the table than made it into her glass as she tried to pour a third serving.
“I find I always have a good appetite after an adventure,” Esther said with half a mouthful. “If all I did was sit around in baths and fold laundry, I could understand not eating much.” Psycho guessed she wasn’t trying to be insulting; it was just her blatant style, but other women took offense anyway and piled their plates even higher with more food than they had likely ever eaten in one sitting.
“The cleaning staff in the vomitorium will be busy tonight,” the queen chuckled as she observed the scene and sipped at her wine.
The king ignored her. “You go on adventures?”
Esther was just polishing off the last bite of her food, licking her fingers, when she realized what she had said. She tossed a look at the foot of the table where Psycho stood. The elf shrugged his shoulders. The king was excited by this unique woman. If the goal was to spend the night with him, it couldn’t hurt to make her stand out even more from her female competition.
“Yes,” Esther said. “Jace, uh, I mean, my uncle takes me on adventures from time to time. We fight monsters and help people in trouble.”
The king’s infatuation couldn’t be more obvious. “I’d love to hear the story of your last mission.”
“Okay,” Esther said slowly, looking around the table to find everyone staring at her again. Psycho watched her mind spin as she went through the last few quests, understanding that Jace wanted to keep their rescuing of her three “sisters” somewhat private. “We defended a keep against an invading horde,” she finally said.
Psycho nodded. The Constitution trial they had done with Wallace was fair game and a public module. No harm could come from telling that story, and Esther told it surprisingly well. She spoke of goblins, trolls, zombies, giants, ogres, and the many other monsters they had fought. She mentioned fighting alongside Thursa and had to describe what a shapeshifting druid was. Psycho watched the king hanging on every word, falling more and more into Esther’s charm, though the elf didn’t sense the vampire using any of her mana-based skills.
“And at the end,” Esther said, “there was a mountain giant.”
“I’ve heard they were only legend,” the prince said, just as intrigued by this woman’s story. “How tall was he?”
Psycho watched Esther’s mind try to deal with the large number, knowing it wasn’t her strength. Instead, she found an alternate solution. “As tall as a four-story building,” she said. “We didn’t have a prayer of killing it with our weapons, so my uncle had a spell prepared. It grows in strength when he casts it against certain foes, and it jumps from enemy to enemy. I don’t really understand it.”
“I’ve heard of spells like that,” the priest said.
“Yes,” Esther appreciated the confirmation, “well, we had collected a bunch of enemies that would multiply the spell large enough to kill the giant, so when he appeared, my uncle cast it. Only, at the last minute, a gnome no one had seen rushed in front of the giant and would have reduced the spell to nothing if it hit him. I was the only one who could stop him in time, so I dropped all my equipment and raced toward him.”
“Why did you do that?” one of the women asked, just as entranced as everyone else. “How would you kill him without your swords?”
Esther smiled at her. “Because if the spell hit me, it would vaporize all my equipment, so I had to drop them. My swords, my armor, my dress, everything.”
The king choked on a piece of food, and the queen rolled her eyes again. “Ahem,” Azurous cleared his throat. “Your dress? You ran across the battlefield naked?”
“Yes,” Esther said, sealing the deal with the king. “I got to the gnome just in time and snapped his neck a second before the lightning arrived.” She held another of the Habinia peppers in her hands and wrenched it in two to simulate the killing blow. Seeds flew out of the exploding pepper, and one shot across the table to hit Persephone in the eye. She was the only one at the table not hanging on Esther’s every word. Having drank nearly an entire bottle of wine and with dripping sweat streaking dark eyeshadow down her face, she looked like a marauding ghoul with her mouth hanging open. The seed in her eye began to smoke, and Esther wondered if she shouldn’t try to reach across the table to dislodge it.
“But what about the lightning?” the prince asked, drawing her attention back to the rest of the table. Servants were clearing the dinner dishes and serving dessert, creamed ice with chocolate. “Wouldn’t the spell have hit you?”
Esther laughed. “Oh, yes, it did.”
“And you survived?” someone asked.
“Well,” she paused. “I . . . my uncle was able to save me. All that mattered was the spell worked, and the giant was killed.” Across from her, a servant cleared Persephone’s partially eaten food and placed a bowl of dessert before her, oblivious to her distressed state. “I think Persephone needs . . .”
“That is quite a story,” Azurous said, cutting Esther off.
“It certainly is,” Vashti added. “I don’t believe a word of it.”
The king waved off his wife. “I would love to hear more of your stories,” Azurous said. “Perhaps after dinner, we can . . .”
“I’ve had enough,” the queen said, dropping her spoon into her half-eaten dish of dessert and rising from the table. “Ladies,” she turned to her handmaidens, “we will need to find our own entertainment for tonight. I know what my husband will be doing.” She glanced down the table at Esther. “Or should I say ‘WHO.’”
Whom, actually, Psycho thought, but obviously kept his mouth shut. As Vashti stepped away from the table, Persephone had finally lost enough health to lose consciousness, and her face plopped down into her dessert, spraying chocolate cream all over her sweat-soaked dress.
“Enrique,” Azurous beckoned toward his cupbearer. “See to her,” he motioned down the table, finally taking notice of his former number one lady. The official nodded and hurried down the row of chairs. He cast a spell on her, and her death spiral ended. He tugged on her braided hair to lift her face out of the melting dessert so she wouldn’t drown and then let it fall back to the hard table, her nose rebounding with a thunk.
Psycho watched Esther wince in uncharacteristic sympathy and also saw the king rising and trying to get the beautiful woman’s attention. “Leave her be; she will be fine,” Azurous said. “Her man will attend to her.” Sure enough, a eunuch standing behind Persephone responded to the beckon and helped the woman away from the table, carrying her limp form. “I’d like you to come with me,” the king added.
The rest of the women excused themselves quietly, hurrying out of the room when they realized their services were no longer needed. Azurous closed on Esther. She stood and bowed slightly toward him. “Your Majesty,” she said.
Once she stood back up, the king could examine her up close. “You are spectacular,” he said. He reached a hand toward her, a finger extended. Psycho saw the experienced fighter tense, ready to defend herself if need be, but the man only wiped away a drop of salsa from her bare clavicle that she had missed. He licked his finger clean. “Quite spectacular. Is that your man?” He nodded toward Psycho, the only eunuch left in the room.
“Yes, sir,” Esther replied. “His name is . . .”
The king waved his hand. “I don’t care. He can wait outside my quarters until we are finished.” Azurous smiled mischievously. “I hope he is patient.”
Psycho worked hard not to let a negative expression cross his face. He didn’t roll his eyes until the king turned his back and led them out of the dining hall. It would be a long night.