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Chapter 7
A 17-Year-Old Secret Book Alchemist Mage In Greenhouse
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So the splice-cracking was left ajar behind the young mage, either detaching nor clinging at the monastery-gate passing the moon-gate. He would rather not turn his head, smile palely, hold palms together, attachingly; as seeing the same wind blow gently, shadows of the skies float on the walls of the moon-gate so thin as a coat of film that would break his heart. Insects had woken up, voices flocked amidst the flapping leaves while the mountain- dews had portrayed their movements from all directions.
“Xend’-zeon, you look pale.”
“No, Brother, it was because of the candlelight.”
He carried a bamboo rucksack that was rather bulky on his backs, noticing how the overnight heavy dew had had covered up the steep staircases made of mountain stones, and he recalled the conversation he had last night with the senior monk, Master Chank’-jack, his blood elder brother
One looked up from far from the lush pine-trees beneath; saw vine-rattans curved, as the step-stones curved, demanding the Novice Mage descend with great caution while the dragon-spine gradually turned light grey.In turn, the dragon saw the sea of clouds galloping across the abyss. The years of crouching tigers and hidding dragons had rushed off, and time flew by, suddenly they found that the era of The Tame Dynasty named the Year of Martial Virtue in AD 618 autumn had arrived. Eventually he braced up and looked back at The Adournment Temple sitting on a platform in the middle of the waist of the majestic mountain.
They must have now arisen from meditation sleep. What a natural way to rise up amidst the sounds of the nature.
Of course, they must have by now punctually lined up to walk in to The Great-Strength Adornment Hall for the morning session, as quietly as the fish in the pond of life-relief. And now the young Novice Mage would have heard the morning bell breaking the recluse solitude, the vibration sending sound-waves traveling as far as the edges of the mountains and forests. His elder brother should have relaxed his legs in Lotus Position, in that back of his right foot pressing-rest on his left thigh and back of the left foot crossing the calf all the way pressing down on his right thigh. Qi and smooth blood stream felt orbitting his spines in a verticle manner. Face turned pinkly graceful.
"Did you rest well?"
He would have asked the young brother. The candle must have swayed slightly. He must have already realized that his younger brother had left him, the small room seemed vastly empty in an instant.
He realized that the bamboo rucksack had also disappeared. It could be as bulky as half his size, as the dragon-tongue-like bamboo shade curved and protruded to the front on top of his head. It was meant for protecting him from the elements of the nature on a long, on-foot journey.
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Last night, he finished his duties.
He walked briskly by the halls and corridors, cup lights were dimmed piercing weakly through the paper doors and windows on his way to his tiny chamber shared with his blood brother Master Chank’-Jack. He was supposed to be calm and compose after a day’s hard work in line with visceral and mental practices to tame clustered thoughts. But he found his mind entangled. He couldn’t help but reliving the conversation he had with the Abbot Master during the day.
"Did you really think so?"
"Don't you think so, My Abbot Master?"
His facial composure had changed indiscernible to the Novice Monk. He was at least oblivion. And the young novice was instead eager to receive a favorable response from The Abbot. The next second he heard The Abbot sounded off a nasal huff.
“Hmmf!”
And the Novice Mage was left alone after seeing The Abbot Master flushed his long and wide cassock sleeve and he realized that that wasn’t a promising response without disdain, and felt sharp heartfelt entanglement, unable to weave, and that made his footstep heavy on his way to enter the room. That was what the monk who sat crossed leg in The Lotus Position heard when The Novice Monk entered.
The young man saw the light of the candle swaying slightly. His elder brother was still meditating before hours of retiring from the long day. The brother opened his eyes. His face sterned and he released his legs that had totaled an eight hour leg crossing for the day and no one could have done it without sudden sharp needle pain and numbness by the sudden releasing.
He then stared at The Novice Young Monk who made a sound and put his legs down by the hard bed board next to his brother’s.
"You shouldn't go against The Abbot Master! How many years have you completed the Monkship Seniority? How many have the Abbot completed? ”
The Novice Monk Xend'-zeon pursed his lips slightly. Chank'-Jack looked at him and saw that he lowered his head, lights were dimmed from the candle. He glanced out the window for a second, thoughtfully, the autumn chills seemed heightened, and the night seemed deep and long.
"Well, you have covered so many scriptures and commentaries for Confucius philosophy; you have memorized them by heart and you are well versed in quoting the principles appropriately when debating with others. And now with such mundane ability, you must have thought that you had attained vast wisdom therefore you feel aloof and domineering, but you actually do not understand how the world works. You couldn’t be careless about how people think and how you could have easily offended them. So, I was deeply disturbed when The Abbot complained to me and I was equally disappointed in you.”
He heard him and his heart sunk. Cheeks turned warm as blood flushed up from suppression of emotion that he did not know what of, nor rather disinterested in finding out a way to fathom its whereabouts at that juncture. But it was clear that goosebumps crawled upon sides of the cheeks toward earloops. He resorted to hiding them, though unseen, through lowering his head and eyebrows, except that he couldn't help but blink.
"I’ve just made a few comments on the subject of the vows made by practitioners. How was that I was wrong to try finding out whether you should be in or out of the world for the sake of practicing? I wanted to find out the perspectives why cultivation should be carried in the hidden forests far from the people who supported us and needed us....Unexpectedly, I had in a way offended The Abbot Monk with the uncalled-for questions. He walked away from me, and I... ."
He lowered his chin further, as if that was how a child could react to a telling off. Candlelight shone on his face, cheeks youthful, eyebrows turning frowned adding weight to his grievances. A good looking oriental complexion, rather anxiously disturbed in perspective, like an Oriental Benedictine who had turned rather a pale handsomeness after living too long periods of sessions contemplating the windy chills and misty dews; up in the peaks of the mountains and the valleys, stretching into the forests.
Those words kept lingering in his mind. He couldn’t weave it nor strike them off though he was witty with logic and words to find himself at this juncture holding his urges to respond. He then swallowed all the words that had almost got uttered through the edges of his lips. Probably that suppression would never find day lights and it would forever rot deep down in his mind’s stomach.
“Brother, we have gone through so much over the years…”
That was what he could come up with until now. The elder brother burst into tears hearing the youngest brother’s remark.
The young brother didn’t want to cause complication and embarrassment to his second brother’s status as the deputy abbot at The Adornment Temple, who seemed to be too content with the lives accompanying the morning bells and evening drums in a recluse and extremely harshly lonely life. Deep down in his heart, The Novice Monk seemed to think that it should be more than what cultivation appeared to be. He hardly thought about it over the years though until he reached a state of cumulation of studies and relationships. He had no inclination of equaling recluse cultivation to escaping the world; nor did he affirm that that should be the only method that the Buddha had promoted for monks in his era.
"Second Brother, I......" He secretly sighed, hearing himself in a softly faltered whisper.
"My Young Brother, didn't you realize? The instructions in the Buddhist Scriptures about keeping the precepts are for you to practice, not for you to discuss? Let alone for you to question the way the senior monks should have them carried out?” He paused, “You might want to reflect upon your uncalled for attention toward how others carry out their practice and why would you care if others chose a way of reclusing? How so you feel the need to unveil the tabooed issue? You need to understand seniority and hierarchical phenomena, right, Brother? "
Oh? Am I doing this? Or I just wanted to better understand the principles of practice that I have been carrying out. I also wanted to find out the underlying principles why the Buddha promoted the precepts related to The Nirvāṇic Attainment. Brother, I don't have the intention of judging others. If that was what you meant for me…
The Young Novice felt suffocated within his stream of oceanic thoughts. But he couldn’t seem to express what he could logically phrased all those questions subliminally. They felt suppressed and further they felt drowning. He couldn’t manage to have them voiced no matter how hard he wanted to try. He just couldn't say it. Therefore, he simply quietly listened to The Elder Brother.
“My Youngest Brother, you could have been spoiled by our deceased Mother since you were the youngest child….” He paused, realizing The Younger Brother’s mind swayed away as he had talked for long and The Younger Brother immediately realized that he should pay closer attention and show more interest in what The Elder Brother had tried so hard to carry on.
"Just take care of your own practice and precept cultivation. I know that you have been prone to thinking about fate and life, and you tend to ask questions about The Truth since you were young. That's also been respected by Confucianism. My Youngest Brother, you have been performing rather well in your learning curves since you were a child, and now you are striving to dig deeper into the enlightenment teaching and you have many questions that need answers. But, you know, you came from a childhood environment that resembled a carefully cared for tiny flower in the greenhouse. After the demise of both our parents, you seemed to be thrown into similar environment...though…"
His eyes warmed up, tears swelling.
"Well, after I came here under the protection of you , Second Brother, I still couldn't get out of the greenhouse..."
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The senior monk heard it, tears bursting into his eyes.
The Novice Monk sighed softly and fell into deep contemplation.
He sat up the whole night. He might have agreed with whatever had happened , but what he really cared and looked forward to was how he could and would sustain a devotion that in no way to be swayed under any kind of dire situations, however rarely treaded the pathway could be.
He did not like the idea, though, of how his thoughts fell into the pits of judging the intentions of others in his quest.
He felt tripped on the trivial yet seemingly pertinent interactive skills he had lacked. He thought sincerity could be the only tool needed. On top of that, he merely wanted to materialize one’s own devotion to the promises he had made to his demised Mother; and to his Gurus.
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So, the teenage mage had secretly reached a decision. He thought that answers to his questions were to be experienced rather than disputed.
During the conversation, strong urge arisen, he knew that he wanted to set off for gurus far away.
He couldn’t bring forth the courage to tell The Second Brother who wept for their fate. He sat up the whole night. But it wasn’t because he took offence of what The Second Brother had said—at least he didn’t think that he was in such a condition.
“I am sorry, My Brother. Please forgive me. Thank you…and I love you…”
He cared too much that The Second Brother would feel his absence if even attempt to hint of his leaving, probably forever, considering the foreseen and unforeseen distances. He couldn’t bear the idea of debating their dissimilar pathway of cultivation. He could feel lonely or sad, or both. He might feel this time they had been totally orphaned. No one to care for now.
But the idea of trapping oneself down in the abyss of attachment to the comfort zone worried him. On top of that, he was afraid of leading a monkhood that would end up with questions unanswered. Deep down in a forest of the unsettling mind, that had seemed too unbearable.
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"What happened, My Young Brother? The Ordination Master sent you here for punishment?"
"Yes, Brother, I raised some questions, again, and…"
There was a time he had an important conversation with his Blood Second Brother, the senior monk, Master Chank’-Jack, in the vicinity of the jungle monastery. It was rather a chilly day.
"O? I believe it was more than that. Don't be embarrassed; tell me about the Alchemy questions. I will try to clarify for you while you carry fifty buckets of the spring water."
"You sounded like it was a fair punishment. Or you think that it was easy to walk those muddy roads when you have buckets of water on your shoulders."
"You should know that, My Youngest Brother, it's supposed to be for your physique training. And it also co-relates to your mind training as well. I guess you should have already known by now."
"I suppose so...So...and I know why alchemy of mages should not be part of our practice."
"O? Would you enlighten me, my little but wise Brother?"
"Well...." He never had a loss of words but realized that he had to tone down his eloquence.
“Well, no eternity is found in this human flesh and bones. Even though certain longevity could be attained, it's nevertheless not the way the path to eternity.”
“Yes, that’s why it’s futile for the alchemist to resort to practice and consume the dangerously controversial Alchemy Clay-Pill. Even if they could prove that longevity could be attained, but as My Second Brother had kindly pointed out, that that was no way the patheay to eternity, nor the way to revive our Original Enlightenment.“ The Novice Monk felt bliss and paused for a while, and the Second Brother waited patiently, “So, where is it?”
“It’s been in your own heart all the while. Your own heart has been in the state of The Original Enlightenment. It’s been there. Only that our Dark Ignorance has been clouding on it.”
“Okay. That’s why practice for eternity stems from clearing of the Dark Ignorance, not longevating the Ignorant Body. But…I mean...we still need to take care of this body for the sake of sustaining Mind-Training. That’s why we eat once a day; and we eat before noon because we do not want to upset the hungry ghosts whose throats turned into flames even hearing us eating after noon. In that way, we practice our Original Compassion to re-link to our Original Enlightened State of Mind.”
“You are very learned now, My Dear Youngest Brother. And I pray that you keep up with the ability to make the teaching of the Buddha easy for others who had no chance to get educated. To me, it would be the biggest compassionate giving that one can give to all beings.”
“Yes, My Second Brother, I am so lucky to have you in my life. I pray that you would attain Buddhahood sooner and later, and I would like you to come back to give a hand…”
He chuckled, “My Brother, looks like that it might be the case of the other way round!”
The Young Monk grinned, and The Second Brother asked, “So, you wanna a hand with the buckets?”
“No, I appreciate it, Brother, I don’t wannna get you into trouble again, thank you, really”
He looked rather pale. He always looked that way since the frightening episodes when he was five years old witnessing how their sorrowfully ill Father who resorted to the Alchemy with no positive results. He was exposed to rather an array of commoners’ superstitions. But he looked to grow stronger and bring forth a determined mind to follow a resultant pathway in practice for their parents’ sakes, for their own sakes, and their gurus’ sakes.
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“And My Second Brother, looks like I might be ready to leave home like you. I’d like to start with my Novice Monkship soon. What do you think?”
“That’s wonderful, My Young Brother! You are only thirteen years old, but you are a grown-up now both innyerms of your mental and physique conditions. You know what I mean, right! But, you may want to ask the proper questions, you know, about the vows before taking The Ten-Precepts of The Novice-Monk before your Ordination Master will shave your head and make you official to the Emperor.”
“Then, I should start with the Celibacy Precept, then?”
“Certainly. You might wanna know, that, not only any sexual interactions are forbidden, but even a piece of sexual mind arisen anytime in your practice, you will be in breach of your own vow.”
“Yes, I am old enough to know how it feels my age. And I think I have put enough effort to gather mental strength and practical guides of how to conquer our natural urges. But, why is it that we need to fight something that’s natural?”
“Well, because that the source of the Dark Ignorance that brings forth limitless birth and death. That’s the fundamental practice to attain Eternity free from those conditions. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I have read it from the Sūtra-Scriptures and Śāstra-Commentaries in the libraries. I found all the relevant material and studied them attentively while memorizing by heart. I hope that would be enough. After all theories functioned differently from practical, My Second Brother. I am glad you checked that up with me.”
“And, Brother, you will be educated to counter breaching thoughts and ways to repent in case of mental breach. I am confident you could abide by the fundamental precept for your life. And I am glad you want to walk on this rarely travelled path for your own sake.”
“Yes, also for others’ sakes.”
“Yes.”
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Over night, he sat in Lotus Position as if fighting Mara, The King of Unsettling Thoughts.
He realized that The Second Brother’s presence was special to him; and vice versa. But glancing at the bamboo rucksack sitting quietly in the corner, he started to gather stuff for the abruptly planned journey. When he saw how simple his luggage could be, he remembered The Poverty Vow he took and he had convinced himself that a letting go of earthly belonging would include dearly relationship, or in that matter of fact, reliance on relationship for Enlightenment.
Tears rolled down now and he remembered he was good with dealing with feeling when The Ordination Master and him were ready to ordainate his Novice Monkship years ago.
"My Youngest Brother, you are only thirteen years old, and you have brought forth the Bodhi-Compassionate Mind to take vows to become a Novice-Monk. You should know that isn’t some light decision any one could have made in their life. You should know that I would commend you on that as not even the Imperial Main Lieutenants nor the Chief Ministers could have done it. “
The Young Novice Monk was calm and composed. He felt blessed.
“Now, your Ordination Master The Old Venerable Master Sand’-Huey will proceed with the ceremony, and I am exceited that soon you will be robbed and imperially officiated. Come! Go ahead, bid your Final Farewell to our parents to express gratitude the way I taught you before entering the Great-Strength Guru Hall for shaving."
The Novice Monk listened tentatively, thereafter he put up his palms, with all thoughts recluse, mind purified, he faced the East to utter Verses of Gatha.
In the tri-cycle of the reincarnation of the mundane world of the desire, material and material-void; there is no way any kindness could be be repaid nor any mundane affectionate attachment could be escaped;
Forsaking all the worldly possession to enter The State of The Not-Non-Active Enlightenment; is the real way of repaying all kindness received from one’s country, parents and sentient beings, and rescuing vulnerable beings in the realms of the animal, hungry ghost and hell.
He felt tears rolled down. He recalled the faces of their parents. And he kow-towed three times to the East, repeating another three times for each of the other directions.
Having completed, he changed into monk robe, entered the Main Hall, before The Ordination Monk, he put his palms together and knelt down.
The Old Ordination Monk gave him a condensed reminder.
“My Good Man, for that what we have on our body the hair, hair, claws, teeth, skin and the likes of the human body, I want you to visualize such impurities of this mundane body which in turn only hallucination of our Dark Ignorance; so that so you want to disgust and shun away the states of life and death, hence you bring forth the ultimate determination to leave house holding into monkhood. “
Then he approached The Precept-Guidance Monk to receive The Wisdom-Consecration of The Tibetan-Abhiṣeka.
“Yes, My Good Man, you come to chop off The Impermanence of the mundane world;
In this truly rare occasion hardly fathomable; you let go of the mundane to approach the path to Nirvāṇa!”
The Novice Monk then knelt for Buddha’s in the ten directions and he uttered:
"Paying homage to take refuge in the Great Worldly Worthiness, you save The Three Sufferings;
Also to vow that all sentient beings will universally enter the Nirvāṇa of The Not Non-Active State of Enlightenment.”
As such, it wasn’t that the moment of his life went off without struggles.
He remembered he had to let go of the practices of the Mages of Xianxia and Alchemy.
He had secretly learned the Taoist Alchemistry, adoring its Grand Mage of The Pure-Sun and his Book of Outline for The Practice of The Golden Alchemist Blossom.
He could keep the Sensei medicine books, not the alchemy books. And he knew real practice involves letting go courage and appropriately.
“Namo Original Guru~Namo Original Guru! Namo Original Guru!” He held his palms together and chanted The Original Guru’s name of The Śākyamuni Buddha.
Now that many years have passed since he was ordained and guided in physical and mind training. Joining The Second Elder Brother’s lineage, The Novice Monk had been taken great care of by The Brother Monk.
“It’s time, My Second Brother…”
He looked up to the steps made of mountain-stones spinning up to the waist of the mountains where the lofty Monastery-Temple stood amidst the gentle wind and heavy morning dew. By now, he had walked to the bottom of the staircases and he felt rather dizzy after sitting up for the whole night.
"My Brother, I will pay attention to my attitude. I will change the way I interact with people. I will try…I have realized my past mistakes and it’s time for me to leave you, I want to pay the overdue due visits to gurus in the ten directions.I want to learn from all the great Dharma Teachers.”
Tears bursting out of his eyes, "My Dear Second brother, your loving kindness I could only repay upon my attaining the achievement in my practice, I know you want me to reach that stage…I have lost our Mother when I was little, and I saw how our Father suffered as a consequence. There is only you left to be my closest relative in this extremely fragile world. You and the monasteries have supported me, given me precious education, however, I am only a bookish monk, I should heed for my manners and the skills to mingle with others, it was hard for me to interact in a harmonious manner as far as I am concerned. It’s all my personality to blame for, I was just out of tune and I regreted it that I insisted much on my personal opinion, I thought that I was wise enough….But, all in all, it’s like water poured out, noway I could retrieve…Now that the time has come, please understand that I had no intention to go against your wishes and I do not intend to judge how people practice, and I can’t bear it to say goodbye to you in person, so…, I will just bid farewell the way I did when entering the Novice Monkhood here, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you….”
Having said that, he kow-towed on the ground, then he pushed himself up from the ground with his right palm, stood straigt up, placing his Lotus Fingers almost touching the central chakra point between the brows, made a deep bow, then he turned with determination and stepped on the gravel; walking towards the vine trees passing the pine forests, and The AdoernmentTemple had already left off his eyesight.
He knew, if you let go, what comes next would be the awaiting greeting of the gentle morning breeze emanating eons of refreshing Qi.
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After a while, the senior monk on top of the mountain and staircases would have seen that The Young Novice Monk had walked slowly over the Scenery-Walls passing the Moon-Gate in the dimming morning lights to exit the outer Moon-Gate of the Monastery-Gate. He had walked all the way downwardly the spiral steps made of mountain .stones, from the waist of the mountains and his shoulders carried a rucksack with an indiscernible Dragon-Tongue structure protruding to front and top of his head. After getting off the bamboo bushes, double rows of pine trees, he walked into the jungles filled with vine trees. And he was fading away; now turning into a small black dot that had gradually disappeared from eyesights; giving way to the morning sun surrounded by the breeze.
He wondered how a youngster of 17 year old would resort to such harsh practices.? Not that he had any regrets. It was just that shouldn't the truth of the nature of the void be cultivated amongst the vast void here in the mountains above?
But he saw how human kind worked in his lineage. It mattered to him that the mundane world had looked at him.
So, the young mage needed to further seek refuge. But where, now?
Where was the answer?
He should have realized that one should and could only answer to his own conscience. But, eventually, mind was at the brink of dying out of sorrow and it got bigger than death itself.