Nox stared into his own eyes, the soft illumination of his blue sword and the kill team’s glow stones carving shadows on their faces.

“Taylor?” Asked Nox, with Taylor’s mouth and lips.

“Listen hear you turd! Don’t get any weird ideas with my body you damned gene junky!” Shouted Nox.

Ashley recoiled, having never heard him talk with such vulgarity and Mary-sue collapsed. Polished marble walls surrounded the party, a perfectly carved sarcophagus with no doors. Contrary to the rest of the labyrinth this room had a roof of milled granite, like an airtight lid. One by one the party collapsed, falling to their knees and then passing out. Which made no sense, if they were running out of oxygen then none of them should be awake at all.

Nox lunged, narrowly managing to halt Mary-sue’s collapse by catching her with Taylor’s hands, his left hand slipped, finding traction against something strangely soft and malleable. Bile rose in his throat, raw rejection from within Taylor’s mind or soul or whatever was left of his personality. Get your filthy sapien hands off my cousin you pervert.

Words rippled through Nox’s mind, slamming into his cerebellum and kicking him onto the floor. Flashbacks to Mary-sue, her father, and Taylor’s father flooded his mind, educating him that Mary-sue was in fact, his step cousin, one who had been present for his entirely life. Despite appearances, she was only in her mid twenties, but hard times during her teenage years when her mother had died in the LA genocide had aged her prematurely. As well as her father’s decay into alcohol. After he drowned his pension in bottles, he’d gone crawling to Taylor’s father– The memory jerked abruptly, ending as quickly as it had begun.

So that’s why Mary-sue is always with Taylor, they’re family. Thought Nox, easing Mary-sue onto the stone floor.

Nox shrugged off the shield and backpack, darting around the room as everyone slowly succumbed to the ebb and flow of an incomprehensible mana.

“Everyone! Sit down!” Shouted Jesus, dropping to his butt and propping himself up with his backpack.

In seconds his eyelids drooped into unconsciousness, joining the other members of his kill team in oblivion. And Leaving the Nox Taylor duo untouched.

“Quick! Find a crack or a door.” Shouted Taylor, running around the room’s perimeter like a protractor.

Nox answered with a scowl, checking the floor instead and picking out one that was a milimeter higher than the others. Cautious, and fearing traps he moved the unconscious venators away from the tile, only to have Taylor step on it. The walls clicked, grinding open to create a criss cross of tunnels. Air whooshed over the hunters, carrying Loki’s laughter with it.

“What was that?” Gasped Taylor.

Hearing his own voice without speaking was uniquely disorienting, but Nox found the wherewithal to answer without snapping.

“The wind? The moving walls, or something else, like the trap you triggered?” Asked Nox.

“What? Can’t you hear the laughter? Which tunnel is it coming from?” Answered Taylor, drawing Nox’s Mbar and realizing how worn out the blade was.

He ran it across his palm, and was genuinely surprised when it drew blood.

“Ah! What? How?” Stammered Taylor.

“You fucker! Don’t just cut up my body!” Snapped Nox, grabbing himself by the backpack straps and giving him a good shake.

Taylor dropped the Mbar and tried to catch Nox’s hands, failing to stop them like a toddler would fair to pry open a bear’s maw.

“I’m so weak!” Cried Taylor.

His confession made Nox drop him.

“You’re right…” Muttered Nox.

Hey Loki! What happens if he dies in my body but we kill the minotaur?

‘What a silly question you silly goose! You would just take over his body.’ Answered Loki.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Yeah, that’s what I was worried about.” Grumbled Nox.

Taylor’s backpack thudded onto the floor, and Nox began to strip, removing the battlebelt around Taylor’s waist before he slid out of his armor.

“Cmon, you’re going to die without this armor. But I’m taking your pistol.” Said Nox, struggling to choke down his distaste for Taylor.

“Like hell you are!” Snapped Taylor, charging at him.

Nox (in Taylor’s activated body) swatted Taylor across the cheek, trying to deflect him as gently as possible, and launched Taylor over the unconscious kill team.

“Hmm, this is going to require some adjustments.” Said Nox.

A groan to his left interrupted their fight, as Ashley’s eyes opened. She tucked her hair behind her ears –despite her hair already being in a ponytail– and sat up, placing a hand over her bosom and frowning, as if the camo fatigues were unexpected.

“Ash? Is that you?” Asked Nox.

“Ash? Who you calling ashy? Oh, oh heeellll naw. I like being inside women, but not like this!” Shouted Ashley’s mouth, speaking in a style that could only be Jamal.

“Oh great, the dungeon turned us into trannys.” Said Jamal’s body.

“Ashley?” Asked Nox, already shaking his head.

“Bigger, blacker, and now with two hundred percent more testicles!” Said Ashley, snarling her joke and delivering it terribly.

The circus of swapped bodies continued, though two things became evident. First, everyone was alive, and secondly every person had swapped bodies with someone else, creating five pairs and leaving Ruby unconscious.

Nox swapped with Taylor,

Ashley swapped with Jamal,

Mary-sue swapped with Jon,

Lala swapped with Zoe,

Jesus swapped with Nora.

Nora crossed her arms, unintentionally squishing her chest as only an overweight man in a teenager’s body could.

"¿Cómo caminas con esas enormes tetas?” Said Nora, stumbling over the Spanish with her unfamiliar tongue. “Alright, pair off, teach each other how to use your uhm… bodies.” Said Nora, reverting to the language they shared.

“Wait! Don’t go into the tunnels! There are traps everywhere!” Shouted Nox.

Furrowed brows answered Nox’s declaration, no one believed him. Why should they? He hadn’t earned their trust, not beyond the level of the weakest therapy hunter who had just overdosed.

“Okay, hear me out,” Began Nox, holding up both hands.

An idea interrupted his words, and Nox shifted both hands into the clawed paws of a feline dopple.

“Oh, uhm… I’ve activated my gene cluster.” Said Nox, just as surprised as Taylor that he retained his powers despite the body swap.

“Hey! You! Stop screwing with my hands! I’m not some cat, change those back!” Shouted Taylor.

In response, Nox changed his eyes and skull as well, grinning through razor sharp incisors before reverting back to Taylor’s old form. Mana 60%, though it was recharging quickly, within the Labyrinth he would have to shift often or start unlocking the human souls… I’ll make Tay-tay cough furballs for a century before I unlock those souls. Those ranger’s deserve to rest in peace, without their souls fed into a dungeon’s hidden artifact.

Nox’s enhanced senses returned, and he strode across the chamber to poke a floor tile with Taylor’s sword, eighty pikes thrust into the corridor, with for of them slashing across Nox’s arm. He raised the bloody limb, and healed it in front of everyone.

“Shapeshifting and regeneration? Nox! You’re incredible!” Shouted Nora, her honest smile and wide eyes making his heart flutter.

Until he realized the compliment had come from Jesus, and had an entirely different meaning.

“Tch. There is nothing impressive about getting stabbed after pressing the glowing stone.” Said Taylor, folding his arms.

Five pairs of eyeballs focused on Taylor, confused by what he meant.

“Raise your hand if the labyrinth looks like daytime.” Said Nox.

Nox’s body, Mary-sue, Jesus, Jamal, and Ashley all raised their hands. Somehow, despite the body swap or soul swap, the ziggurat’s blessing of light had followed Nox into this new loop. Summoning all of his courage, Nox decided to press his luck.

“How many of you remember our last run through this Labyrinth? When we reached the ziggurat and killed the minotaur?” Said Nox.

No hands rose, but at least a dozen eyebrows did. Well… Lets double down, the worst they can do is kill me. And getting shot was way less painful than being burned alive! So Nox spent the next half hour explaining his experience, spending the time well by building several C4 bombs and making space on his battle belt for the Wilson Combat 1911 and her magazines. He passed the Barrett 50 caliber rifle parts to his own body, which assembled them with a deft grace.When his story finished, no one met his eyes, suddenly more interested in the nearby walls or floor tiles.

“Taylor- or uhm… Nox, that’s quite the story… Uhm, when exactly was this supposed to have happened? Asked Nora.

Nox rubbed his eyebrows, losing hope of a clean run. Loki’s trick practically castrated the Kill team, placing their entire frontline within the bodies of support mages. Taylor took ashley’s hand, dragging her towards the nearest door where they exchanged whispers. No doubt discussing Nox’s demise, or his growing insanity.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but you have to trust me! I wouldn’t lie to you.” Said Nox.

“Of course not,” Said Nora, tapping her foot. “But you’re the weakest hunter, and mana sickness affects the weakest hunters first… And the delusions set in…”

Nods bobbed around the kill team, thoroughly convinced of his insanity.

“Ashley, Nora, you two can divine the truth! Use your powers to find the ziggurat, oh it’s hidden behind a reverse waterfall of mana–” Said Nox.

“--we can’t. I can’t use their powers. Actually, none of us can.” Said Jesus.

“Except for Taylor…” Muttered Jamal.

Suspicious glances turned toward Nox, whispered accusations passed between members. Blades and spears were pointed at him, as the hunters aimed Occam’s razor at him. After all, the simplest explanation for a shapeshifter who retained their powers when everyone swapped souls, was that he wasn’t one of them. Ah… I really should have seen that coming. Maybe I should just run into the labyrinth, the feline dopples don’t use lights as far as I can tell, maybe they have some nightvision with their eyes… The only thing stopping Nox, was how irrevocably guilty that would make him look. Guiltier than a pregnant whore on Easter Sunday.

“Guys, leave him alone.” Said Taylor, walking back to the group with Ashley.

“You aint gonna believe this shit, but wyverns are out there flying around, and we can see the ziggy rat over there.” Said Ashley’s lips, with Jamal’s diction.

Several hunters peeked out of the room, and found that the room they were in was elevated above the labyrinth by several flights of stairs, though the walls had been constructed to limit vision of this room, as if it were a prison cell. Or something’s private chambers.

‘Hehehe, yes, this is one of Thesus’ many bedrooms. Don’t overstay your welcome little Nox, otherwise he might pick up your scent.’ Said Loki, laughing maniacally.

“All we are missing now, is a minotaur.” Said Nora.