Veralla's training was progressing well, even though she could not fly, breathe fire, or grow normally. She easily memorized the motions, and strove to perform them exactly as Glawlrhain showed her. Before long, she mastered basic stances and strikes, and the training master began to instruct her in more advanced techniques.

Glawlrhain also let her spar against Æther-crafted illusions. Her comical proportions made her struggle to defeat the illusion-dummies, yet she managed to work around her limitation with careful observation and clever use of different moves. She was still practicing groundside combat only, but already she had learned a variety of ways to take down an opponent in different situations, be it human or dragon, and Glawlrhain said if she continued to be very small he would show her some useful tricks to mitigate her size disadvantage.

Her body quickly adapted to the rigorous regimen of daily training, as she pushed herself to her limit – and beyond! – each day. She even began to spend long periods in time-dilated virtual reality, in order to study more martial theory, while physical time was used to hone learned principles into perfect execution.

She still felt uneasy making herself proficient at martial arts and killing. Regardless of Glawlrhain's words, she was not sure how she could use her knowledge about fighting to prevent... fighting. It reminded her of Airo, who had wanted to become an honorable champion, but had been made a warrior instead. Veralla wanted to become a Radiant Knight, although Radiant Knights had to be trained in combat. They had to, in order to be able to protect their principles and ideals, Glawlrhain had explained. This made sense to Veralla, given her dreadful encounter with Ferrtau; and she trusted the training master, as well as the Radiant Knights as a whole. So, despite her uncertainty, she gave her best to become a strong and capable warrior, to become worthy of being a Radiant Knight, in order to be able to help others and to instill kindness and happiness in the world.

What troubled her were the violent urges she experienced often lately.

At first, they appeared only when she slept and had nightmares: the attack on Dragon Retreat, the battle at the mountain pass, the beating of the uplimal female in Kryoon City. Veralla would wake with a snarl, not terrified or unhappy, but with dark haze clouding her vision and bright fury rushing inside her veins. She tried to ignore these moments, but she started to experience bloodlust more and more, especially during training, and – for some strange reason – at the reddish sight of meat when she was eating.

She did not want to become a terrible person, like Ferrtau, or even Airo in his bad moments. She had to do something about this. She decided to talk with Glawlrhain, for he was a master in martial arts, and seemed very wise, and was a dragon, so he could perhaps tell her what was happening to her feelings and senses.

She sought him out one day between training sessions, forgoing her afternoon nap to ask for advice. With the help of Yeoman Cloud, who was now present in every one of Ilsorin's systems and had access to all sensors, she found Glawlrhain in the multi-tiered gardens above the lake. However, as she went there, she saw from a distance Stamat was also with Glawlrhain and the two of them were speaking, with Stamat looking very heated. Veralla hid behind a tree to avoid interrupting them. Yet she was curious what they were talking about, so she spread her webbed ears wide, until she could hear even the quiet gurgle of a fountain several levels below.

"Don't tell me again you have no time!" Stamat said. "I've returned from patrol three days ago, and we haven't spoken for a single moment since! For Dude's sake, even Commander Airo meets with Veralla more often!"

"I'm the training master, Stamat," Glawlrhain said. "It's my responsibility to keep all Knights in the sharpest form possible, especially when we're facing a crisis of such magnitude. Also, I've become an Elder of the Order – though it wasn't my wish, this carries additional duties I have to perform. After we survive this, we'll have much more time for each other."

"Don't give me this dragoncrap, Glal! I'm fully aware the Lightbringer may kill us all. There may be no after. Why are you doing this? Why are you evading me? I thought we were soulkin."

"We are, Terlokhi. Only I–"

"Then why haven't we taken the twining vow yet?"

"We will, just–"

"You're still thinking about him, huh? Well, go to the void, Glawlrhain! I still think about Alomar and Lylana, too. But that doesn't mean I let the past engulf me!"

"Terlokhi, wait!"

Stamat strode angrily up the ramp which led out of the park, leaving Glawlrhain behind. The sinuous dragon watched the human Knight go, his long tendrils waving in the warm artificial breeze, his ocean-colored body so still he was like a part of the park's decoration. Veralla sat peeking from behind the tree, unsure what to do.

"Come out, young one," Glawlrhain sighed at last. "I can sense your vibrant aura even from the other side of the mountain."

Feeling a bit ashamed, Veralla left her hiding place. "Why was Stamat so upset?" she asked timidly.

"He carries a heavy burden in his heart," Glawlrhain said, turning his head to look at her. "A long time ago, I offered to share it with him. However..." The training master made an uncharacteristic pause. "I am not sure I was ready for the consequences."

"Is he unhappy because he is lonely, like Airo?"

Glawlrhain hrrr–ed, his gaze returning to the empty ramp. "Yes, both of them are very similar in that regard."

Veralla had a sudden insight. "Can you tell me how Stamat became lonely?" she asked.

The training master looked back at her. "Why do you want to know?"

"So I can learn! If I know what makes people lonely and sad, I can use that knowledge to make them happy!"

Glawlrhain let out a growling chuckle. "I highly doubt things are so simple, young one, given my two centuries of experience. But all right... I see your enthusiasm is real enough, so I'll tell you what I know."

He inhaled softly and half-lifted his wings. "Stamat comes from a local community. His ancestors had traveled to Terra Para with the Radiant Knights who first discovered the paraworld – and they'd decided to settle here. This means Stamat had grown up in a family who have for centuries held very close to the ideals of the Radiant Knights – honor, truth, mercy, compassion, love, and many others. Stamat has been raised to believe in those ideals, and to always strive to bring good into the world."

Glawlrhain paused for a moment. "In essence, he was a Radiant Knight in his heart long before he requested to be accepted within the Order. When he did so, he passed his trials and graduated the Order's training with honors. He was disciplined, friendly, and passionate – a perfect role model."

"Then how he became lonely?" Veralla asked, confused. "Surely many people must have liked him, if he was so friendly?"

"Yes, they did," Glawlrhain agreed.

"So what happened?"

"Unfortunately, Stamat turned out to be a hothead," Glawlrhain said. "His belief in the Order's virtues was too fervent. He couldn't tolerate even the slightest injustice. He would accept no transgression. His zeal didn't bring any major trouble, because he had good sense when it was appropriate to act. That is, until Alomar hatched and was given to Stamat."

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Alomar? But why he and Stamat are not together then? And why is he so rude?"

"Alomar wasn't always like he is now," Glawlrhain said. "When he hatched, he was a cute little fledgling, like you. Stamat, being one of the brightest Radiant Knights, was chosen to become his soulkin. He gave Alomar his name, and the two officially took the Entwined Vow. After that, Stamat was responsible for the rearing of Alomar and assisting him to become a Radiant Knight himself when he was mature enough. Instead, things turned out in a tragic way.

"Stamat was too hard on Alomar. He tried to instill in his soulkin the same zeal he himself had regarding being a good and noble person. The Order's elders warned Stamat several times to be less exacting, but he didn't listen. He lectured Alomar day and night; he constantly insisted that he train and learn about the principles of being a Radiant Knight; he didn't rest until his soulkin performed with absolute excellence.

"One day, Alomar had enough. It was just after his graduation ceremony. As soon as he was made Radiant Knight, Alomar publicly renounced his kinship with Stamat, and the Order as a whole. He wanted to leave Terra Para, but he was neither an Æthereal, nor there were any starships which would've taken him off-world. So he stayed. Although he is still a Radiant Knight, he doesn't... act like one.

"As for Stamat, he was devastated. At first, he managed to keep calm; albeit misguided by his rashness, he was a good person – and still is. Yet one can never forget such an event, and it kept him quietly bitter. He had no one to speak about it – he was too ashamed to ask his peers, and too proud to admit mistake to his elders. Yet he felt his loss keenly.

"Back in those days, our Order was already on its last flight. There wasn't much to do, especially for war experts. So... I offered Stamat a sheltering wing. He accepted. We began having many long talks, which seemed to help him."

"What did you talk about?" Veralla asked.

"We discussed all kinds of things," Glawlrhain replied. "Sometimes, Stamat came for advice, or to have a sparring match, or play some games. Most of the time, he came to share his emotional burdens."

"Airo does not share any of his burdens with me," Veralla said, lowering her head. "I want him to talk about them so I can help, but he will not do so."

Glawlrhain hrrr–ed pensively. "Truth be told, Stamat also was quite secretive before... his second tragedy happened."

"Second tragedy? What happened?"

"How much of my conversation with Stamat did you overhear?"

"I came shortly before the end," she said truthfully. "I heard Stamat saying he still thought about Alomar and Lylana."

"Precisely," Glawlrhain nodded. "Lylana Darkovitz was the second tragedy in Stamat's life. He had affections for her, yet the chances of her responding to his feelings were very low. Even so, he did his best, preparing for months, but when he finally tried to court her, she refused him. It happened a year after Alomar left him. Lylana's refusal crushed Stamat. On top of Alomar's departure, he was still young, and had no experience in romantic relationships. He didn't know what to do."

"Romantic experience? Is that related to mating and procreation?"

The training master hrrr–ed in amusement. "You know a lot more than I anticipated, little one! Yes, sex and offspring are definitely part of romance, though not always."

"Did Stamat want to mate with Lylana?"

"Yes. He did. However, I think it was more a desire of his body, and not his mind – though his drive was strong nonetheless; it's the way nature sets things. Between his grief for Alomar, his broken heart from Lylana, and simple, biological desire for intimacy, Stamat was emotionally torn apart. At that point, merely talking to him wasn't enough to help him."

"What could have helped him?" Veralla asked.

"Something which could have relieved him from his pressure," Glawlrhain answered slowly, his amber eyes unblinking. "Or someone."

Veralla thought about it for a few seconds. "Oh, like VR simulation, then? I once heard Kiana explaining–"

"Stamat constantly used simulspace fantasies," Glawlrhain interrupted her softly. "They were the very first solution he tried. They satisfied his physical desire for sex. Yet his longing for closeness remained, no matter how advanced his SAI companions were. So one night, I finally stepped in, and offered him to mate... with me."

"Oh!" Veralla said in wonder. Silence stretched between her and Glawlrhain, the only sounds being the quiet flow water around them and the soft hum of Æther-infused crystal environmental controls.

At last, she asked, "Did Stamat feel better?"

"He did," Glawlrhain nodded. "It was like dawn breaking on the horizon. It took time, but he managed to overcome the worst of his burdens. He became more relaxed, and let his emotional wounds to heal. We became a lot more closer as a result of this act, and spent many long nights talking freely... and having sex. I am thankful to the Goddess and the Great Cosmos I was able to help Stamat, for he is noble in spirit, and doesn't deserve the prolonged torment he would've had if I hadn't intervened."

"But if you like him so much and he likes you too, then why did he shout at you today?" Veralla asked.

Glawlrhain hrrr–ed and unfurled his wings, spinning them in half-circle. "There are many reasons for discord between friends and lovers, little one," he said. "However, the tension between me and Stamat lies in what I told you at the start – that I'm not ready for the consequences, should he and I become soulkin in truth."

"But why would you not want to become soulkin with Stamat?" Veralla said, lashing her tail. "You said you are thankful that you helped him to not be lonely!"

"I am," the training master nodded. "However, I... am not ready yet."

"But why?" Veralla wondered.

"Perhaps I can tell you some other time," Glawlrhain said gently, yet with a tone of finality. "Tell me now, why did you come to me?"

She took a second to recall the reason she wanted to talk about. "I have strange feelings lately. When I think about certain things, I become... angry."

"Angry, you say?" the training master asked. "How exactly do these feelings arise?"

"Well, they happen mostly when I am training to fight or thinking about battles," Veralla explained. "In one moment, I am completely normal, and in the next I am hissing and growling, with my body all tensed up, while my mind is foggy and full of violent emotions."

"Ah," Glawlrhain nodded, his snout-tendrils swaying. "You have started to awaken the raging essence of your soul. It's a natural state of battlefury inherent in all dragons."

"Oh," she said, greatly dismayed. "But I do not want to awaken it!"

"Then it shall awaken on its own," Glawlrhain explained. "It's part of being a dragon."

"But it makes me want to kill people!" Veralla said. "I do not want to kill people!"

"On its own, battlefury can lead to poor outcomes indeed," Glawlrhain agreed. "However, once properly mastered and controlled, battlefury becomes very important to any dragon."

"Why something that makes me want to hurt others is important?"

"How did you feel when Commander Airo killed the Union soldiers?" the training master asked her abruptly. "Recall again the events you told me about."

Veralla tensed involuntarily. "I was... really afraid," she murmured, anticipating the horror of the memories. "And I felt very... bad, for those who died. Sad, even." Strangely though, her recollection of the battle at the mountain pass did not terrify her this time. Instead, there was the dull blaze of bloodlust stirring deep within her mind, yet it did not rise, leaving her able to examine the memories calmly, without being forced to relive them. She realized she had been like that for some time.

"There you have it," Glawlrhain broke the silence, even though she had not spoken. "We dragons are very emotional creatures. The cosmic fire burning in our souls manifests as fiery passion any time we are happy, sad, joyful, sorrowful, confident, angry. We experience all of our feelings a hundredfold compared to others. Our emotions are as intense and bright as the stars, and they can kill us. Unless we learn to channel them. To master them. To become above them, but at the same time embrace them, to keep the beauty of life inside us. It can take years to become a master of your emotions, and many dragons never succeed, for that is one of the hardest paths to follow on the Celestial Way."

"I understand," Veralla said. "I shall try to master my emotions, then. But I do not understand how this is connected to the violent urges I am having."

"Battlefury is a protective mechanism of the psyche," Glawlrhain replied. "It channels a dragon's innate powers, making one's physical prowess even greater than it is while they're at rest. And yet, its primal function is to shield one from their emotions, and to make them able to do what must be done in adverse – or intense – situations. None of us would be able to protect even our own lives if we didn't have this mechanism – the emotional feedback of hurting another and sensing their pain would be all but disabling.

"Thus, battlefury is a necessity: it blocks our heightened empathy at critical times, making us able to hurt and kill others. But there are dragons who never realize this is only a tool, and they become addicted to the fiery power their raging essence provides, turning into bloodthirsty, violent, terrible monsters which are what many people think of our kind."

"Well, I do not need battlefury then," Veralla said, "because I have no intention to hurt or kill anyone."

Glawlrhain shook his head. "You must develop the instinct regardless; it's a natural part of you."

"But why should I be able to kill?" Veralla demanded in wonder. "I am training to become a Radiant Knight, yes?"

"Yes, you are."

"And Radiant Knights do not hurt or kill, yes?"

"As a rule, they don't."

"Then I will not let my raging essence flourish," Veralla declared. "I have no intention of hurting or killing anyone, so I do not need it. As for my emotions, I shall learn to master them on my own, without any instincts that cloud my mind!"

"Oh, young one..."