It was suppose to be an easy and mundane job. I had just to milk cows with this other guy in some country side. The pay was good, too good, the place looked fine, and, as every money needing student would do, I applied.
What a grave mistake.
I noticed that something was wrong when I noticed how large and advanced this cow branch was, and how few people worked at it. I could have gonne away running when I saw him drinking directly from a cow and muttering something about norse mythlogy, but not.
“I have already worked under mad bosses” I thought to myself “this one won’t be different.”
What a grave mistake
The wind was coming directly at me, the car glass was broken, the car was badly damaged, it was a miracle that the wheels were still intact.
“What was even going on?” I thought of myself.
At that point I had lost the sense of reality, policemen cars were shooting and coming at us, the mountain road was extremely dangerous, at every turn the car seemed to fly off the guard rail. And there was a man on the driver seat, with horrible clothes and hair that was shouting something at me:
“Do you believe that they are right doing this?!? Look at them, how greedy they are, raiders pillagers, this is what they are! Right?” He looked at me with flaming eyes.
I came back to my senses and tried to come with half an answer, barely remembering the topic of conversation.
“I mmMean… they are only doing their job”
“JOB?!? Do you call stealing people money a job!?! And if I tell you to rape a cow would you do it?!? You really ar-” A strong push came from behind, the policemen cars had nearly reached us. I looked back. It was commisar bull car. Commisar bull was preparing to jump on our car.
“Ehmmm…”
“What is it boi? What you wish to tell me in this fatal moment?”
“Commisar bull is charging at us.”
“What?” He looked back, he wasn’t looking at the road, I picked up the driver and tried my best not to make the car crash.
“Is him! He wants our cows! Do you understand, our precious cows! No, we have to find the divine cow before them. Quick open that lock.”
I opened it, there was a pistol there.
“There is-”
“I know what is there! Grab and shot and him.”
I looked strangely at him, this was too much even for me
“Are you a pacifist or what?!? Shoot!”
Another strong push, followed by something boarding our car, I looked back, commisar bull had jumped on our car.
“QUICK, QUICK SHOOT!!!” He screamed at me.
Commisar bull eyes meeted mine, he was a 200kg beast of a man, ex-soldier and wrestler, and he was coming toward me very angry.
My hand begun to tremble terribly, he came closer to me.
He could kill me with those hands. He could make a cup out of my skull with them.
What to do what to do? Shoould I shoot?!? Wh-
Commisar Bull jumped off our car. All the sudden I was up in the air flying. The car had broken the guard rail and was spinning in the air like an helicopter, the ground was becoming closer and closer.
I saw my life passing in front of my eyes, that time when I was a child and painted the newly walls of my house, that time when instead of going to school I went into a nearby forest. That time I went to the hospital because I fallen of my bike. That time I got 90 on a paper was very happy, then realize that every one had gotten 90. What a life… Wait, no! I still have many things to do!
I turned to him and shout “IF I SURVIVE I PROMISE I WILL KILL YOUUUUAHHHH!!!”
...
I opened my eyes, my muscles were stiff, my clothes dirty of blood, it was nearly completely dark, my head was painful and my vision confuse, I was in some sort of bed as far as I could tell. As I tried to move something blocked me.
“Wh-” a hand blocked my specch.
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I saw afar some men with flashlights and dogs scouting the nearby area with much diligence. When they were gonne he letted me speak.
“Can you walk?” He asked me.
I tried to move my legs “I believe so.”
“Good let’s go.” He went away
“Where?” I asked confused
“To a safe place” he responded.
“A ‘safe place?’ or a Safe Place?”
“A real safe place, this time.”
I decided to follow him even thought I knew that he was probably lying… again.
We travelled in the forest like wild animals, passing from one bush to the next, evitating that flashlight or that man, crawling in the mud, stopping at every sound, dodging every car, climbing from one tree to the next.
As we walked he made a gesture to stop.
“Quick climb that tree” he wishpered to me.
All the sudden a policeman with a night vision hellmet and visible as a camaleonte thanks to his perfectly mimetiza suit came out of a bush. He looked and move around, he was silent as a snake. After some minutes he stopped, looked around, and returned in the bushes.
“They have send the assault troops, if we wait a bit we might see a helicopter”
I looked over the horizon
“Helicopters”
“What?”
“I pointed to a distant spot in the horizon were several lights were together.
Those were helicopters and they had reach the forest, bringing troops and materials. There was no way we could escape from there.
“What we do now?”
“We have to reach the waterfall, there is a safe place there.”
“In the w-”
“Don’t worry, they are never gonna search for us there, that is a real safe place” he said interrupting me.
A phrase that I had heard many times over.
With much caution we manage to reach the waterfall.
“Now what we do?”
“We enter it.”
He entered the waterfall
“Come”
I hesitantly followed him. There was a cave inside the waterfall. But it looked primitive, without any modern items to speak of. While I was thinking what to tell my mom when I encounter her and I had to explain why I had to spend the next 30 years in prison, something was moved. I looked back and saw that he had moved a stone wall, revealing a circle that looked very ancient.
“It’s here” he muttered “it must be here.” He say obssesvly touching and searching the stone for something.
“What?” I asked him confused.
“The gate.” He said decise.
“The ga- oh again with this story? It doe-”
All the sudden a mystical magical portal appeared.
“I told you so.” He said proud of himself.
He entered it.
“Why I am doing this?” I muttered to myself while I entered the portal.
Once traversed the portal I found myself in a large green field, flowers and grass grow indistrubed there, the pleasant wind made that the ideal place where to sleep. He was looking at something over a hill.
“It’s there.” he said “ look at it” he said pointing at something.
“It’s the legendary divine cow?” I asked.
“Yes, soon we will have his milk”
The divine cow was over a hill, happily muuing and eating grass.
He grabbed two plastic cup, the one that become small in your backpack and large when you need to drink.
The cow looked at the two of us approaching, he muuued at us. She was happy to be milked. We drinked the milk, it was delicious.
“I suppose that now we are forever young.”
“Oh about that…”
I looked at him with flaming eyes
“Don’t tell me th-”
“I lied about that.” he said not even making me finish the phrase.
“What! Then what does the milk do?”
“Nothing, is just delicious milk.”
“And that story about the legend, the scroll, and the divine cow and his milk that make the ground fertile?”
“Ah that is just some superstion, this is simply an immortal, beautiful, strong, ever producting, cow who lives in a heavenly place far from our Earth.”
“FU-” As I was dashing to kill him, commisar bull appeared.
“Say you last words as free men” he said with a strong voice “you stole 5 millions of dollars from the government to build a cow ranch and search for some crazy legend.”
“You told me that I had to milk cows when in reality I had to risk my life for some legend! That was also false!” I said
“Guys I mean, we don’t have to get aggresive, do we? We are always friends in the end, right?” Asked he
“No.” we replied
As we were about to kill each other the divine cow muued in the distance, the three of us agreed.
Years after a massive network of infrastures were build to bring the milk of the divine cow to every thirsty person on earth. Fountains of milk were build, statue of the divine cow exhalted. Some even made a religion about it.
I? I am fine, the judges were kind to me. Now I do the work that I always wanted to do, the cleaner, I love cleaning things, is just stronger than me.
My partner? He was less fortunate, he was forced to work for the rest of his life searching legend for the governement, voices say that he is uncovering a massive vampire bloodline that venerates a tree on an island, thought that has been confirmed.
And this is how a madman and his unwilling companion resolved world thirst thanks to a divine cow.
“Wait,” someone asks “drinking so much milk doesn’t cause all kind of problems and diseases?”
“Yes.” I answer “But don’t ruin this moment please, I just love drinking milk.”
The end.