I was dreaming, I had to be. There was no way this was really happening. Levi was not standing above me just a mere several hours after the ‘incident.’ It hurt too much to think about, my heart ached. I did not want to think about it. So, I pushed the memories to the back of my mind and closed my eyes again.
‘Mm, go away…’ I mumbled. ‘I’m trying to sleep…go away dream Levi…’
‘Tch brat. Slacking off on the job? Well get up idiot. This is not a dream.’ Levi said as he continued kicking my boot.
Damn this dream Levi sure is persistent. I thought to myself. I still did not get up, I just rolled over on my side.
‘Woah! What is happening?!’ I exclaimed to out loud. I realized that I was no longer on the ground and my world had turned upside down. My long dark brown hair was suddenly in my eyes. I parted my hair to see my surroundings. That is when it hit me, that Levi had picked me up as if I had weighed nothing.
‘Eeep! Put me down!’ I squeaked, my face starting to turn red. I started squirming ins his grasp, beating my fists on his shoulder. He said nothing but continued carrying me. I was beginning to become irritated at the situation.
‘Captain, please put me down!’ I implored
Levi sighed. ‘I thought I told you to call me Levi.’ I stopped squirming and went silent. Did he really want me to call him that after what happened?
‘Is that a problem?’ Levi asked quietly. I remained silent; I was not sure how to answer this. Was he not going to acknowledge what had happened between us? Was he just going to pretend it had not happened? I shook my head silently. I did not want to think about how I was feeling. How my heart still ached from being rejected. Yet here he was, him carrying me over his shoulder like a child. Eventually, my thoughts were interrupted when I realized we had stopped. Levi finally put me down, and I looked up to get my bearings. Wait a minute, this was…. this was Levi’s room! I gulped and my palms started sweating. What were we doing here?
‘Um Captain…I mean Levi…sir…what are we doing here? …’ I asked meekly.
Levi looked at me with those grey eyes of his that I loved. ‘I was told to come find you. But first I need to change my clothes. Tsk, they are filthy. Disgusting.’
I nodded my head slowly. I looked around in awe. I never expected to be in the captain’s room! I noticed everything was neat and tidy as always. I expected nothing less from the captain, the way he made sure everyone cleaned everything properly. There was a fire going in the fireplace and it made the room feel nice and cozy. There were books stacked neatly on a side table and a big comfy looking chair next to it. In the corner there was his bed. It was neatly made and looked like it had fresh linens on it. Close to the bed was a pail of water and a mirror. I still could not quite believe where I was. I was in Captain Levi’s room! Wait…I WAS IN HIS ROOM!! I must be dreaming.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi undressing. My cheeks flushed bright red. He was changing out of his shirt; I could see his well-defined muscles. This man was beautiful.
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‘Lexi, something wrong? You’re staring at me.’ Levi said quietly.
I felt my cheeks grow even warmer. Levi just studied me with his grey eyes. I could not read him as usual. It was hard to know what he was thinking most of the time.
‘It is nnnootthing.’ I stammered out.
‘Well close your mouth, you look like an idiot. And you smell like horse shit. Over there is a bucket of water and a bar of soap. Go clean yourself up.’
‘Yes sir.’ I quickly went over to where the bucket was and took of my jacket. I rolled up my sleeves and silently washed my arms. There was a mirror in front of me, I could Levi’s reflection in it. He seemed so stoic; I saw him quietly put on a new shirt. I sighed. It really seemed he did not want to talk about the other day. I looked up again and found myself looking at him longer then I should’ve. Levi was staring back at me. I quickly diverted my eyes and finished washing up. I turned around to see Levi sitting on his bed, still watching me.
‘We should talk about what happened.’ He said quietly.
My palms started sweating, and my heart started aching again. He had remembered. I wiped my palms on my pants. I looked at him trying to discern how he was feeling. As usual he was unreadable.
‘Oi brat, quit staring and sit.’ Levi barked.
‘Yes captain.’ I said quietly. I quickly went to where he was sitting on his bed and sat down next to him. My pulse was racing, despite being rejected, my body still reacted like this. I stared down at the palms of my hands wanting to be anywhere but here.
‘Lexi…’ his voice was gentler. He seemed a little more tired. I looked in his eyes and noticed the pronounced darkness underneath him. It seems he hardly gets any sleep. Without thinking I gently touched his face and cupped his cheek in my hand. He did not stop me. He placed his hand on top of mine and drew me in closer.
Shit what is happening? What was I doing? I thought to myself. But before I could stop myself, I pressed my lips gently to his. He did not stop me. His lips were warm, and the kiss was tender. I gasped and realized what I had done. I pulled myself away from him. I quickly got up and started to leave. But before I could I felt a hand grab mine. I looked down and saw Levi looking at me.
‘Lexi don’t leave. We need to talk about all this.’ Levi said quietly. I shook my head, as tears began to form in my eyes. I was so flustered and upset with what I had done. I shook my head again and furiously wiped my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. But it was to no avail. I quickly turned on my heel and headed for the door, but before I could take a step further, I ran into something. Something hard and solid, I looked up and realized it was Levi.
‘You’re not going anywhere until we talk brat.’ Levi said irritated. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me back down on the bed. I gave up in trying to get away. Levi moved to sit back on the bed. I looked up at him, still feeling embarrassed by the whole situation.
‘Lexi, the way I feel about you…I have never felt this way about anyone. I have always tried to keep my emotions out of everything I do…I’ve lost too many people in my life…’ Levi looked at the fire as if trying to gather his thoughts. He seemed nervous. I had never seen the captain like this before. I searched his face for any hint of confusion, and I could see none this time. Levi ran his hand through his hair and crossed his arms. Before I could comprehend what Levi was saying, I felt his lips on mine. This time he had initiated it. His lips were hot and tender. His kiss was fierce. I was confused and my lips were frozen against his. But not for long, I returned the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He seemed so sure this time. No words were necessary. Levi gently pushed me back on his bed. I was completely at his mercy. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck, he gently placed kisses along my neck. I let out a low moan, and he chuckled lightly.
This cannot be happening. It just could not be. Surely this was a dream. It had to be a dream. Everything that happened up until now was not real. It was the only explanation of what was happening right now. It was a dream or was it?
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