Chapter 19
Satin dress, still covered in the dust of Melodus, flitted in the breeze off the side of the great fiery beast it sat atop. Jennifer hadn’t said a word since they’d left the castle, James had arrived shortly after Melodus passed, his eyes wide at the sight of the weapon, his mind reeling as to why Jennifer possessed it, the implications frightened him greatly. Slade had offered little farewell, merely nodding slightly before limping off into the darkness, Squawk flew after him, Chirp remained with Jennifer, resting gently on her exposed shoulder, his little talons lightly pinching her skin, she barely noticed. Enoch offered them a lift, James had refused, Jennifer had mounted the flaming horse without a word. Finally Enoch broke the silence,
“Jennifer, I never thanked you for saving my life, I’d be…” He hesitated to say the word, “...I wouldn’t be here if not for you.” Jennifer weakly nodded, she appreciated the attempt, but the fatigue, the uncertainty, the vivid memory of Melodus’ expression as he faced the last moments of his life… It all thundered through her mind, leaving nothing concrete to grasp onto, nothing she could possibly say to explain any of it.
“You did the right thing Jennifer,” She was surprised to hear James’ voice, her lip twitched and her knuckles’ glowed white, “I know it’s hard to see now, but Melodus would have killed you, killed Enoch, Slade, Squawk, you had to do it, you had no-”
“No choice? That’s rich coming from you.” Jennifer’s voice blanketed the trio in silence, Enoch swallowed deeply, James stood with his mouth open slightly, Jennifer merely stared straight ahead as she spoke into the darkness, “I stole Melodus’ life from him, he will NEVER come back, NEVER make another choice again, NEVER feel anything… What the hell gave me the right to make that decision”? She turned to look James dead in the eye, “What gives anyone the right to choose how another person should live”? James lowered his head, Jennifer saw it, Death hadn’t lied about a goddamn thing. “So what’s the plan then, ‘James’? Go back to my city? Meet up with your lying sack of shit brother and prepare me for my new host? Or is there going to be some kind of ceremony first? Maybe a nice send off parade”? A tear rolled down her cheek and lingered off her chin before dropping into Enoch’s flames and dissipating entirely. James spoke with his head to the ground, humble, contrite,
“Death told you? That’s where you got the weapon right”? He didn’t need Jennifer to respond, there was no doubt now, no more secrets, “It’s all true Jennifer, who I am, what I intended to do, all of it.” Enoch stopped dead in his tracks, his flaming eyes bore into James, he seemed like he may lunge for him when Jennifer spoke again,
“You’re defenseless right now. You’re tired, bruised, and, if you could’ve healed yourself you’d’ve done it by now, so I’m guessing those wounds are Deathless inflicted.” She didn’t need to look at him to respond, there was no doubt. “Death told me that, if I kill you, then we’ll all be free, truly free, free to be whatever we want.” James remained silent, “WELL?!” Jennifer shouted, “IS IT TRUE?!” James remained silent. Jennifer hopped off Enoch’s back and put her hand on the weapon swinging from her hip. “Why admit to all of this?! Why not just lie to me, tell me Death’s a lying sack of shit? What the hell are you after?!” James remained silent, “SAY SOMETHING!” James sighed, his grey eyes heavy, his body slouched in defeat, he weakly mustered a shrug,
“I told you before Jennifer, there’s a quality that separates us from the monsters, and, while I refused to live it in the past, I truly believe it’s never too late to try again. I won’t lie to you Jennifer, but I will beg you to allow me to die on my own terms.” Jennifer froze,
“Wh-what are you saying”? James allowed himself a weak smile,
“Your life wasn’t mine to sacrifice, for my brother, for the greater good, for anyone I… I know that now. But my life is. When we arrive at your city I’m going to give Time my body.” This couldn’t possibly be true… There’s no way, it just didn’t make any sense,
“But… But then there’d be no Destiny!” Jennifer exclaimed, not realizing the irony of her shock.
“Exactly, you’d all be free just like you said, but my brother would be around to set things right, not Death… Say what you will about him, but he threw the world into this state, I’d rather not leave the future to him too… There won’t be anything new popping up in the world, the Book will never be closed, and everything that already existed can continue to exist, Time will have access to every page of the Book that’s already been read. It’s better for everyone this way…”
“Did… Did the old man agree to this plan? I-I have to know.” All of this was too much. James shook his head, no.
“My brother would never approve of any of this, that’s why he moved your city after you left, that’s why he’s hidden your city ever since. Rachel and I believed we could keep this plan from him, but he’s far more perceptive than he looks…”
“...The nurse was in on this…”? Jennifer choked out, tears welling in her eyes.
“Jennifer she… she didn’t mean any harm by it….” All the memories of the kind and caring nurse began to fade from her mind, replaced with a seething hatred, a burning desire to rip the memories from her head and char them in fire. “Rachel’s my daughter, she’s the Form of Life, ALL Life. She couldn’t continue to watch Life disappear and so she… She wished it wouldn’t have to be this way.” Jennifer wiped the tears on her arm, and turned and hopped back onto Enoch’s back, the fiery steed letting out a surprised, ‘oomph’ and staring back at Jennifer, who merely pointed back toward the ocean.
“Let’s go then. You have a job to do, best get you to it.” The coldness in Jennifer’s voice tore at James’ heart, but he knew it was deserved, he knew it had to be this way, he just wished he’d figured it out sooner, perhaps, if he had, someone would’ve missed him once he was gone… The trio walked in silence after that, all the way back to the sea.
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Waves gently collapsed on the quiet beach, Enoch allowed Jennifer to descend onto the sand, James stood off to the side in silence. The second Jennifer’s feat hit the ground Meerous burst from the waves, spraying water everywhere and flourishing her great size across the heavens, until she cocked back her head and snapped forward, stopping inches from James’ face, her eyes squinted and her teeth bared. James refused to even flinch,
“Is it true”? She growled the words, her throat rumbling and the water boiled alongside her. Jennifer shouted from off in the distance, she and Enoch had started a small fire that they now sat rigidly beside,
“Don’t waste your time on him, he’s no threat to me, or anyone.” Meerous continued to eye James suspiciously as she slowly swung her body around toward the fire, James refused to meet her gaze.
“What happened out there? Jennifer you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” The accusing growl replaced with a motherly hum.
“It’s nothing, we made it out alive and that’s all that matters… Did you find my city”? Meerous shook her head, shame in her eyes.
“I searched every inch of the coast line, if you’re city’s out there it’s not anywhere near my waters, I’m sorry Jennifer.” Jennifer just shrugged,
“Not your fault, don’t stress about it.” She rose to her feet, her eyes toward the stars and her expression vacant, apathetic, “I’m going to take a walk, I’ll be back soon.” And with that she ventured into the darkness, no Enoch, no Solaris, and no James, just her. Something about the darkness resonated with Jennifer, the uncertainty, the possibilities, the way the smallest lights shone so brightly, all of it mesmerized her disillusioned soul, surreal beauty replacing those standards we hold to with such vigor. She was a bit surprised to find she wasn’t crying, she felt like she should be, with all that’d happened it would be understandable and there wasn’t anyone around to see it so why… why were her eyes so dry? Emptiness, she mouthed the word, it seemed to fit nicely so she dwelt on it a bit longer, piecing all her feelings together under a single banner, a banner of loss, of lacking, of nothing, because that’s all she felt now. She pinched her arm, pain, but no suffering. She thought about the judgmental neighbors back home, the vicious children, remembering there was pain at one time, but now, nothing. She considered dancing with the Forms, watching the stars return to the sky, remembering that she’d felt something, but unable to say anything about what that feeling was, the connection felt… severed.
“A funny thing isn’t it”? The voice from the darkness should’ve startled her, but she merely turned to face her stalker stone faced and complacent, but, when the sight of wheels and puffy white hair caught her attention, a spark of something reignited.
“I-It’s you, whe-where have you been”? The old man allowed himself a remorseful smile,
“Hiding, from my brother, from his plan.” Jennifer couldn’t help but smile, glad there was someone still in her corner, but questions still lingered, and she needed answers,
“Why didn’t you warn me? Or stop me from growing, or…” Her shoulders slumped, “why’d you abandon me”? The old man laughed, not a mean sound, but the pleasant sound she’d been so enamored with as a child, but she didn’t see the joke, “HOW COULD YOU LAUGH AT ME?! I NEEDED YOU AND YOU WEREN’T THERE!” Her voice echoed in the darkness and the old man shakily stood to his feet, as he did so her began to morph into a younger man, a man very similar to James and Death, but with wrinkles around his eyes, a slight jolt in his step, a twinkle in his eye, and a resilience buried deep down, holding up everything above it.
“I used to travel the universe like this,” he mused, his voice softer, younger, “obsessed with all that I could do to help the universe, to help humans, people would see this face and know that someone had come to their rescue. But then I had to return to my job as Death, my own child had strayed from the right path and I had to be the one to fix it, after that this face became one that frightened everyone who looked upon it, a face that meant their time had come to an end. Every decision I’ve made has hurt someone, ruined someone, or” he gestured to the world around them, “ruined the entire universe,” he chuckled softly, “so Jennifer, to answer your question, I did abandon you.” A tear rolled down her cheek, “because I decided it might be high time I stop deciding what’s best for everyone else, stop deciding who’s saved and who’s left behind.” As he spoke his skin began to wrinkle again, his hair greyed and most of it fell from his head, his veins bulged and his voice shook, “Jennifer, I decided again to let you decide, not the fate of the world, but your own fate. I let you follow me back to the house, let you grow as long as you wanted to, but you quickly made it your own. I let you leave to meet my brother, so you could decide for yourself what it is YOU wanted, who it is YOU would become.” His legs shook and he fell back into his wheelchair, “And look at all YOU did,” he motioned to the heavens, full of stars, “YOU inspired those Forms, inspired my brother, and YOU did it all without me. So Jennifer, after all you’ve been through, answer me one thing,” Jennifer met his eyes, and nodded slowly, “what is it you want”? A silence fell, a silence that may have lasted minutes or hours, but to Jennifer it felt like an eternity, she stared up at the stars, looked at the old man in the wheelchair, glanced back toward the ocean, then stared down at her own hands, before allowing herself one last glance toward the ocean. “No need to answer now, come on, let’s continue this discussion inside.” Jennifer cocked head head to the side as the old man wheeled into the darkness, Jennifer followed when she began to feel the ground harden beneath her feet, she looked down surprised to see not snow, but road. Looking up she realized that the once dark and empty field was now littered with buildings, familiar buildings, and, most familiar of all, a shining golden tower watching over her city. She was home.
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Little within the city had changed, not something Jennifer found at all surprising, but, with the sun now set, streetlamps had begun again to shine, illuminating the roads, wide roads, roads Jennifer now knew had been designed for carrying cars. She’d always wondered what the streetlamps had been for, now she knew, she knew a lot, things in the city suddenly began to make a lot more sense, things that nobody had been able to explained seemed so obvious to her now. Looking up toward the clock tower, Jennifer realized what the strange symbol on all four sides was, and, even more shocking, that the clock had begun ticking again. Jennifer ran over to Time’s side and pointed toward the clock,
“You’ve stopped slowing down time? Why? I mean, why now”? Time shrugged,
“Because there’s no need for it anymore, we’ve reached the end of the road Jennifer, no sense hiding from it any longer.”
“But does that mean people’ll start aging again? Acting normal”? Something about the thought seemed off putting, the irony lost on her. Time chuckled,
“That’s exactly right, give them a bit to adjust, the memories will come in slowly, but they will all return in time.” He winked at the mention of his name, so many of the jokes he’d made as Jennifer grew up suddenly made so much more sense.
As they walked, Jennifer felt a familiar sensation against her leg, a purring sound emanated from the ground beside her. With a smile she turned to greet her old friend, the little orange and black cat returned her gaze,
“Cat, it’s good to see ya, I suppose I owe ya quite a few butt scratches don’t I”?
“Yes, a great deal actually.” Jennifer froze, her eyes fixed on the cat, her mind straining to make sense of the ludicrous notion that Cat had just spoken to her,
“...Cat… you can talk”? The little cat nodded, and let out a full toothed grin, her fangs shining in the low lamp light. “Which means that you’re... “ Jennifer smacked herself in the face, “Cat is the Form of cats! God I feel stupid for not catching that one.” She heard Time laugh from a ways ahead, she glared in his direction before feeling Cat’s butt again brush against her leg. Jennifer shrugged, Form or not they had an agreement. Jennifer reached down and gave Cat her butt scratches and, as Cat moved to leave, Jennifer quickly stopped her, “Why didn’t ya ever tell me who ya were”?
“I forgot. We all did.” And with that Cat bounded back into the shadows leaving Jennifer to wonder how many more Forms may be in the city. But Time had already wheeled fairly far ahead and she decided she’d best keep up. Jennifer quickly collected her bearings and became acutely aware that they were heading toward the old man’s house, to Time’s house. She placed her hand on Time’s shoulder, a shaky hand,
“The nurse… Is she… Is she gonna be there.” Time sighed and stopped, turning to face Jennifer, his eyes gentle, sympathetic,
“Rachel believes desperately that what she did was right, she hasn’t arrived at the same conclusions I have. She truly cares for you, but she’s convinced there were no other options.” Jennifer hesitated, a million thoughts, but Time deserved none of them, she’d wait until she could confront the nurse face to face.
Jennifer allowed herself a whimsical smile upon seeing the house again, especially since the city’s move placed the house directly on the coast, an oceanside view only increased the beauty of the little home. But the smile quickly faded as Jennifer remembered who’d be inside waiting for her, she felt the weapon on her hip and the one in her bag, a comfort in their presence. A thought struck her and she allowed herself to linger behind Time, just enough to be out of sight. The second that happened she silently lifted the weapon from the sheath, returning it to the bag, while simultaneously lifting the fake weapon out and placing it into the sheath.
Upon entering the house Jennifer, though she knew they would all be there, felt quite surreal seeing Enoch and James in the same room as Rachel, much like the girl who goes off to college and, upon inviting her new friends to see her hometown, runs into friends from high school. Jennifer felt a certain amount of surprise at how little the Nurse’s demeanor had changed, she didn’t avert her eyes, or lower her gaze, she met Jennifer’s eyes head on. Does she know that I know, Jennifer wondered, she’d hoped not, she couldn’t imagine anyone cold enough to look their victim in the eye with such ease.
“Jennifer,” The nurses’ voice sounded quite motherly, “you look a bit malnourished, have you been eating well? If you’d told me you were planning on leaving I could have packed you some supplies you know.” Jennifer remained silent, the nurse cocked an eyebrow and scanned Jennifer’s face, “What’s the matter with you”? The question lingered in the air for a moment, James seemed to find a way to look at everything but the two of them, Time merely watched with curiosity, Enoch awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other, nobody wanted to speak, so Jennifer decided she should,
“James… Destiny told me about y’all’s little plan.” The silence somehow grew even more uncomfortable, save for the nurse who seemed merely confused,
“And? Did he not tell you his plan of becoming the new host himself”? The nurse scoffed, obviously annoyed at this delay.
“Yeah he told me, but what does that matter?! You wanted to sacrifice me!” Jennifer’s heightened pitch only increased the nurses’ annoyance,
“There’s no need to shout Jennifer,” She scolded, “sure that was my plan originally, but now another solution’s cropped up, so I’m failing to see why you’re upset, we no longer need you to sacrifice yourself. This is good news.” Jennifer couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she couldn’t imagine anyone could be this cruel, this uncaring, this… this apathetic.
“You watched me grow up, you took care of me, all that time knowing that you were preparing me to die… I don’t care if the, ‘plans changed,’ you’re a monster, a heartless monster who’s no better than any of the monsters out there, the only difference is they’re honest about who they are out there.” The nurse chuckled, Jennifer gritted her teeth at the sound, if it weren’t for the fact that she’d die too, she’d rip open the nurses’ throat here and now.
“Jennifer, I’m the Form of Life. You say I watched you grow up, that I took care of you, nurtured you, and then sent you off to die, what do you think life is besides that? As much as I hate death, he is merely a necessary consequence of me. You think I’m a monster? Every single one of my children is going to die, period. If we save the day now, if we manage to win this fight and make everything, ‘right’ again, that won’t change the simple truth that EVERYONE eventually dies, you included. My job is to prepare my children for that harsh truth, to ready them for the inevitable. You think you’re somehow different? The only thing different about you was that I gave you a purpose, I allowed there to be some meaning to your life, and somehow that makes ME the monster? Clearly Jennifer your time out there taught you absolutely nothing.” And with that the nurse turned and walked into the other room, leaving Jennifer to fume.
The rest of the room watched her carefully, wanting to gauge her reaction, ensure that an explosion wasn’t imminent, James eyed the weapon on her hip carefully. They all jumped when a thin, scaly head popped through the window, swaying around lazily as she took in the room.
“Jennifer, what’s wrong”? Meerous hummed. Jennifer offered her a weak smile,
“Just um… Just a lot to take in is all.” Meerous eyed her suspiciously and then decided it may be best to simply let it go. As the previous fight began to air out of the room James decided it may finally be time to finish what he’d started.
“Everyone, I know many of you have mixed feelings about me, but I’m glad you’re all here. As you know Death’s rule on this universe must come to an end, and the only way that can happen is for my brother to gain a new host body. I’ve decided to offer myself as that new host, knowing that the world will be a very different place, I truly believe it will be a better one. To do this though, Time and I will need to go to the Book so that I can use it to make the transfer. The only concern I have in all this is Death, if he were to uncover the location of the Book than things may wind up far worse than they are now, and by worse I mean the complete annihilation of the Book itself, which means the complete annihilation of the cosmos now and forever. With such high stakes we cannot simply underestimate Death in this matter, we must be prepared for anything he might throw at us. Now, the only way he’d be able to destroy the Book, the only thing powerful enough to do so, is his weapon.” The room all grew silent and glanced over at Jennifer, the shining knife dangling from her hip.
“Wait… If the weapon is the only thing strong enough to kill the Book, then why did he let Jennifer have it”? Enoch ventured, his eyes fixed on the terrifying blade.
Jennifer and James exchanged a quick glance, Time piped up instead,
“My son has always had a taste for the theatrical and the ironic, the prospect of killing Destiny himself likely bored him, but to have a human do it, especially a human that he’d grown close to, he would find that endlessly entertaining. And, if Jennifer refused to do so, he could always retrieve the weapon and do it himself, as far as he’s concerned there’s no losing in this situation. The one thing he didn’t count on is my brother deciding to sacrifice himself, he knew Jennifer would never agree to it and he figured, with the weapon y’all couldn’t force her to do it, so he must believe he’s safe.” Jennifer considered this and a question cropped up in her head, a cruel selfish question, but one she needed an answer to,
“Why me? I mean, why not use anyone else from the city? Why does it have to be me”? Time and Destiny shared a look and James spoke up,
“Creating a new host isn’t an easy task, not everyone will do, whoever we picked would have to have spent a massive amount of time with my brother for it to work, you grew up with him, so you’re the only human who could possibly fit the role. That being said though, the amount of time I’ve spent with my brother should have the same effect, meaning it must be one of the two of us, there’s no one else.” Jennifer stared at her feet for a moment, she’d been afraid it’d be something like that, but hearing it out loud, it made sense.
“So shouldn’t y’all be doing this now”? Enoch’s voice awkwardly snapped everyone back to the present, “I mean I know it’s a big deal and all, but every second we sit here talking is just more time for Death to stop it… Not that I want you to die James… Destiny… You… it’s just that, if you’re going to anyway then we don’t want it to be a waste. ...That definitely came out wrong… I uhh…” James saved him,
“You’re right, honestly I’m just stalling for the sake of stalling at this point.” Jennifer inched closer to Time and whispered,
“You’re okay with this? I mean your brother sacrificing himself and everything…” Time’s eyes blinked for a moment as he considered the question, he rubbed his chin with his hand and then allowed himself a sly smile, “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, these things all have a way of working themselves out in the end.” And with that he offered Jennifer a quick wink and looked away, ending the discussion as James continued to speak,
“The location of the Book is a secret I’ve held onto for nearly three thousand years, and it’s the only thing that’s kept the cosmos safe. I don’t plan on sharing that location with you all now, but just know that it will take me awhile to get there. In the meantime I need everyone, but my brother to keep watch. Death is no doubt going to become quickly aware of what we’re doing and will attempt to follow, you all cannot let that happen. If you see Death let me know and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the Book safe, you have my word on that.” The remaining people and sea monster in the room did a solemn bow.
“I’m going with y’all.” Jennifer declared, drawing every eye in the room to face her, she seemed surprised to hear the words she’d just spoken.
“You are…”? Stuttered James, the rest of the room equally sharing in the sentiment. Jennifer worked the question over in her head, whatever had sparked that proclamation seemed firmly lodged in her heart, unyielding to her every tug, if James was going off to die, he wouldn’t have to do it alone.
“Yep, we’ve come this far and I did promise I’d help you save your brother right”? Grinning from ear to ear she watched for his reaction, she’d just made a very mature and integrity driven choice, she couldn’t wait to see what his response would be.
“Actually you said you’d help me find him and we did that already so…” The incredulous stares from the rest of the room snapped him back to his senses, “Ye-Yes, but I do see your point and I would be quite grateful for your company!” He sighed with relief as the room eased up, eased up enough for him to get to the hard stuff, “But the weapon has to remain here.” Nothing in his tone made it sound like a request. Jennifer’s eyebrows shot straight up, Meerous growled low and Enoch began to spark,
“You wish for her to go with you to this sacrificial altar unnamarmed”? Meerous voice, a suspicious challenge, caused James to take a step back, and Time decided to field the question.
“I know my brother has lied in the past, but on this issue he and I are in agreement. The weapon shouldn’t come anywhere near the Book, if Death were to get his hands on both then it’s all over, EVERYTHING is over.”
“But what if Death shows up? How will y’all defend yourselves”? Enoch’s worried tone sharply contrasting Meerous’ accusing glare.
“If Death does show up,” James began, his head hung low like an innocent man before am vengeful jury, “then we will die with our honor, knowing that, at the very least, the Book is safe and the universe may have a chance to start anew. Whatever caused the birth of my brother and I may happen again if the Book survives, but, if it were to perish, than the world will never be reborn, it will truly be the end.” Jennifer looked around the room, into the eyes of her friends, those that had become so much like family, those people she cared for more than… well more than she thought possible. And, with conviction, reached down and pulled the shining knife from the sheath around her waist and handed it to Time, for him to lock away in whatever way he saw fit.