One week later, Calvin walked aimlessly through the city streets waving, greeting, and smiling at cars and passersby as he saw a video on his phone about a smiling maniac running loose around West Trotterham. Gee, someone should do something, he thought as he waved at three schoolgirls who gave him the middle-finger salute.
He checks his phone for the address and looks at the red historical house that bears the sign "Klaxon real estate" in hand-painted letters. Knock knock, he waits after knocking, looking at the weather and an article about a school shooting where the police captain's son was the perpetrator and instead gave him pointers on how to aim his weapon better, politicians wanting to "put an end to this" with the inevitable groans of thoughts and prayers not doing enough, pundits retweeting foreigner's views on American gun control, and the governor of the state suggesting we arm every K-12 student with an AR-15 in the classroom to prevent more shootings from happening in the first place. He yawns and scratches his ear after reading this and watches a cat do clickbait life-hacks and people eating cheese and hot dog meat tteokbokki ramyun recipes.
He looks through a window and sees a large room with a desk with a computer, a bouncy ball chair, and dusty rented flora strewn through the room. There were leftover takeout trays and garbage bags placed throughout the room with posters of half-dressed men in varying positions vying with the one big evidence board which took up more than half the wall space.
"Waiting for something?" Calvin jumps at the voice that taps his back.
"Nearly scared me half to death" the sleepy-eyed bear dusts off the sleeves of his jacket. It was that same fox friend who was once to him in the drunk tank!
"Didn't mean to startle you" Colonel fumbles with his many keys as he unlocks the door. Calvin enjoyed how smooth his voice sounded.
"Just warn me when you're coming next time." The bear bashfully replies.
The fox unlocks the door as a smell of unwashed fur, leftover food, weed, and alcohol flood his snout as he runs and jumps on a pile of garbage bags in the corner; acting like the happiest kid in Disney World. Montgomery clears the spare table of empty bento boxes and clipped magazines as he lays out his mutated monopoly board with pictures, labels, and pieces standing in for elements of his plan.
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"Calvin…would you mind?" Colonel clears his throat as he lights a cigarette. Calvin admires the handiwork that went into the mixed-media artwork on the table.
"My aunt liked scrapbooking too!" Calvin traces some lines the scruffy fox drew on the remixed board. "She was always the creative one"
"This is not scrapbooking, and this is not a work of art" he put out a cigarette on an Atria PlumbWorks Company picnic 2008 ashtray.
"See these house pieces?" Montgomery points his paw at the red and green pieces on the board. "What about them" Calvin asks with a suspicious look
"This, my dearly beloved, is the genuine birth of everything after. Body and soul and blood and holes. Slow music, please. Shut your eyes, Ursus. One moment. A little trouble about those white cerulean eyes. Silence, all."
The Colonel lights up some incense while Calvin obeys. The office takes on a cavernous cathedral-like feel as Calvin's voice grows louder
"The founder of my kin, Mortimer Klaxon, was born in a giant peach, floating down a river by an old, childless, Haggard woman who was washing clothes there…." He drinks from a bottle of whiskey.
" ...and the old woman and her husband took the giant peach home to cut it up, but instead, found a young kit overflowing with gold, frankincense, and myrrh. After finding the miracle, they brought a preacher to bless him with milk and Holy Water from the Mississippi River." Calvin rolled his eyes as The fox grew mad with the knowledge of his founding ancestor "Mind getting to the point?" Calvin says, smoking his cigar.
"And the preacher made a blessing that-"
"Ok, what about your plan?!?" Calvin asks, getting impatient. Colonel is impressed with his forwardness. "Well, My destiny is to spread the honorable Klaxon name all over this city." He takes another sip. "And become the king of real estate." Calvin thinks for a second.
"How will you do that?" he says. "We, I want you to be my partner in my quest." the colonel offers his hand. "be king and king side by side."
The bear blushes as he gives the crazed fox his hand "I'd be honored!!!" he gives a shriek as he hugs Colonel. "Where do I start?"
"Just follow me," Calvin points to an address on the map. "I'll teach you everything I know."