CHAPTER 27: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?

Chapter 27: (Aubrey's POV)- What The Hell Am I Doing?

I stayed at the cliffside with Peter the whole day.

The whole day.

The sun had just set and we were heading back and making our way out of the woods. I noticed that he

didn't have his car anywhere near the street that we used so I take it that he walked.

"Want me to walk you home?" he offered.

"No, it's alright. You have to walk and you live three blocks away," I spoke while getting on my bike.

"You sure?" he asked as I grabbed my jacket that I always keep with me since I feel cold everywhere I

go and threw it on.

"You have to go that way, so yeah, I'm sure." I pointed behind me, opposite to the direction I have to go

in since the shortcut to his house was that way.

"Take care okay? Call me if you need anything. I mean anything," he told me in all seriousness.

I nodded with a small smile before we said bye to each other and he began walking while I began

biking. I reached home after about ten minutes and placed my bike in the garage. I grabbed all my

things from the basket and headed inside. I walked in to see my mom leaning against the countertop in

the kitchen, pinching the bridge of her nose, looking extremely stressed. I walked in and placed my

stuff down, as I set my keys down, her eyes shot up at me. This belongs to - ©.

"Where the hell have you been?" She was fuming.

"Out," I answered vaguely before digging through the pockets of my jacket.

"Why would you run off like that? Do you have any idea how worried Xavier was?" she pressed further.

"No, I had no idea," I spoke sarcastically. "His keys. I'm not babysitting him anymore." I grabbed her

hand, placing the key that Catherine gave to me for their house for emergencies.

"What happened between you two?" She followed me up to my room where I had stormed off.

"Nothing happened, mom. Nothing. I'm not going there again," I sighed as I knocked my shoes off and

sat on my bed.

"Well he can't come here and you two need to sort this out," she huffed, arguing.

"We don't need to sort anything out. It's been sorted." I stood up in frustration, deciding to take out my

pajamas and head for a shower.

"It clearly hasn't," she paused. "He called me, in a complete panic asking if you had come home since

you decided to run out of his house. He said you weren't answering any of his calls or texts. Or mine."

Anger seeped through her voice.

"My phone was off, mom. I went to the cliffside." I groaned internally.

"With Peter?" she asked, her voice almost daring. "Were you there with Peter, Aubrey?" she repeated.

"You don't need to know, mom! He called you and now I'm here and alive okay?" I snapped.

"You mean more to Xavier than just his babysitter. He wants to talk." Her voice softened.

"And I don't. I have no interest in seeing him again. And yeah, I was there with Peter." I huffed before

storming into my bathroom, slamming the door. I heard her sigh before footsteps softened, eventually

fading away.

I stripped out of my clothes and let my hair out of the high ponytail it was in before getting into the

shower, rinsing away everything I felt today, or at least trying to. I wanted to get rid of all the pain I felt

today and I was hoping the water would work when it didn't I hoped my vanilla shower gel would but, of

course, it didn't.

I stepped out of my room to see my mom sitting on my bed with spaghetti in a bowl for me. "I brought

dinner," she announced as I finished towel drying my hair before I let out a sigh and sat down beside

her. "Wanna tell me what really happened yet or no?" she asked while handing me my food.

I took it gratefully before sitting cross-legged on my bed, beginning to tell her everything. I started from

the start and finished with everything that happened today, up till when I said bye to Peter.

"I think you should give him a chance to explain himself," she sighed once I finished explaining. I

opened my mouth to argue about how she's still taking Xavier's side but she beat me to it. "You gave

Peter a chance when he cheated. And Xavier isn't even your boyfriend even though you might want

him to be. So I hope you do the right thing." She patted my leg before taking my finished bowl of food

and kissing my forehead before saying goodnight and heading out and to her room to go to bed since

she gets back to work tomorrow after taking three days off to spend with my dad.

I finally gathered the courage and grew a fucking pair and finally turned my phone on. As I secretly

hoped, it was flooded with texts and calls, all from Xavier. I sighed while glancing down at his name that

I had saved on my phone, contemplating whether I should call him or not.

While it seemed like the right and mature thing to do, another part of me just wanted to hold a grudge,

block him on everything and give him a cold shoulder. But of course, my mother's words got to my

head and reminded me that being childish wouldn't give a solution to this problem, and sorting this out

with him, was the right thing to do.

So I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding and pressed the call button.

One ring.

One bell.

After that one ring, he picked up and his voice gave me a clear impression that he was not only

flustered but panicked and nervous. He was taking short breaths, almost panting yet somehow

sounding prepared and calm. "Aubrey?" he asked immediately. His voice was coated with guilt as I

replied hesitantly.

I cleared my throat. "Hi," I spoke into the phone softly.

I heard him let out a sigh that sounded to be of relief. "Can you come over? I don't wanna do this over

the phone. Please come over," he pleaded.

I stayed quiet, contemplating for a moment. "I'll be there in five." Then I instantly hung up, throwing my

covers off of me before throwing flip flops on and sprinting down the stairs and out the house after

getting to the garage and grabbing my bike. I kept my emotions contained on the way there. But once I

stood there and rang the doorbell, I felt tears stinging my eyes and I knew this just wasn't going to end

well. But whether it ends well or it doesn't, this needs to be done.

No one answered the door and just as I was about to ring the doorbell again, the door swung open,

revealing a very disheveled Xavier. "Thanks for coming," he spoke almost instantly.

What the hell am I doing? I really shouldn't be here oh my god, I should turn around right now and run

away.

"You wanted to talk and I'm here. So talk," I demanded.

He let out a sigh as he sat down on the couch with his head in his hands while I stood still in front of

him. "I made a mistake," he began, "Julie didn't mean anything to me, Aubrey. Nothing that I've ever

had with her did. I was involved with her before you, she wouldn't stop," he tried explaining.

"She wouldn't stop but did you really want her to?" I scoffed as he looked up at me. "Your relationship

with her, romantic or sexual is still a relationship and it didn't mean a thing to you. You didn't care what

happened, you only wanted her for your benefit," I sighed. "And I don't want to be that. Not now. Not

ever." I stated, meaning every word I said. I just hope he got it.

"You won't. You're different to me, Aubrey. You mean more than she does," he argued.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to hear you say that. But now that you have, I'm realizing how

messed up it is. Xavier, you toyed with her, whether she did the same or not is none of my business.

You two had a friends with benefits thing, I get it. But that's not what I want." I shrugged slightly.

"That's not what I want with you. I want something serious, Aubrey. It's different with you. The feelings I

have for you are more than just sexual. It's more than an attraction. Aubrey, I want to be with you. For

real. Long term. I like you."