I woke up in total darkness, unable to see anything. My attempts to move seemed futile, as if I were stuck in place. There was no sensation in my body - no breath, no heartbeat. I tried to speak, but I couldn't tell if any sound came out. I began to wonder, "Am I dead?" Still, I could think, so perhaps this was some form of afterlife.

All I had were my thoughts. I often contemplated what happens after we pass away. I left this world at the age of 20, not in a grand way, but due to cancer. Doctors were surprised because I appeared healthy and stayed active. I used to travel a lot and made sure to exercise daily, whether at a gym or by jogging from place to place. If it was too far, I'd take a taxi or a bus.

I had a deep passion for insects, particularly ants, for their fascinating behaviours. At 18, I attempted to maintain an ant farm, but the ants escaped when I turned 19.

I tried to find them but couldn't. They were just regular black ants, and I didn't bother with their official names. I had a job studying bugs, observing their behaviour in various settings. This allowed me plenty of free time to explore bugs in different places.

One of the most exciting times was when I observed ants in a forest. I can't recall the location, but some of them were controlled by a fungus. I noted five ants acting strangely, and one simply climbed a bush and stayed motionless.

When I returned later, that ant had changed, with something growing out of its head. I wished I could have seen what happened next, but it was about a week after that I got diagnosed with cancer.

I sought medical help due to persistent headaches interfering with my work and hobbies. After various tests, I received the diagnosis of brain cancer. The doctors were astonished, considering my youth and vitality. They inquired about my family and my travel history, speculating about radiation exposure, though I hadn't visited places with radiation.

Ultimately, I passed away, or at least that's what I recollect. I even saw myself in the hospital while standing beside the bed.

Afterward, it was just nothing, more nothing. It felt like I wasn't real, incapable of thought or recalling my identity.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Then, suddenly, I felt as if I were waking up. All the fatigue and experiences led to my current situation. With nothing else to do, I started to reflect on my life, considering this might be some sort of afterlife or trial. After reliving my life through my memories five times over, I began to feel restless, craving something more than my thoughts.

I tried everything I knew about religion, but they all required physical actions I couldn't perform. I turned to mythology, revisited every book I'd read, and remembered all the movies and TV shows, but they didn't provide answers. So, I resorted to playing with my imagination, which eventually led to a different sensation which felt like I was moving my arm slightly.

But it wasn't like an arm; it was more like a tendril, made up of countless lines in the shape of a tendril.

I decided to learn how to control this tendril, as it seemed to be the only thing I could do. I moved it until it touched something I could perceive, even though I couldn't see in the traditional sense.

"Strange," I thought, puzzled about how this worked. However, I put my questions aside and focused on the tendril. I realized I could change its shape.

I moved it back closer to me, though I had no real sense of distance. It was as if I willed it to return to where it originated. This time, I experimented with it, making it move in all directions. It was different from the tendril, more like a wave or fire. It was strange, but at least I could "see" in some unconventional way.

From my peculiar perspective, I seemed to be in some kind of rocky room, possibly a cave. I wondered how I ended up here. I continued to "look" around, but it was all the same - just rock.

Realizing that I might be able to see myself, I decided to inspect my condition. I tried looking for my body, but didn't see it anywhere. The only thing I noticed was a sphere. I couldn't see its colour, but I felt it. The cave was dark, but the sphere emitted a blue radiance.

A thought struck me, "Is that... me?" With no other visible entities around, I assumed it must be me. This realization left me mentally frozen for an indeterminate period.

Eventually, I snapped out of it, but not completely. I pondered how I would explain this situation if someone found me, not to mention how I would communicate with them. Calming myself, I recognized that the phenomena I was experiencing reminded me of a manga I had once read, which theorized about how "mana" worked. That's what I decided to call it.

My "mana" had seemingly ceased its motion. I observed that I was in a cave with a single entrance leading outside. There were no other passages, just solid rock. I tried to move my mana farther, but it resulted in pain, so I stopped. I concluded that this mana was somehow connected to my life.