It had been a few days since Dinn and Creed resolved to spend their time in this small part of the Infinity. As desperate as The Being had been for their work to be done quickly, it seemed it was taking much longer than they’d hoped. They’d spent most of the first day just waiting by the portal to see if anyone would show up. It was as if they couldn’t move, or breathe, and barely think. They were just anchored to their spots. And yet, nothing happened. The two ended up crashing on the couch for the first night, but after waking up with stiff necks and sore muscles, it was obvious they needed to start creating a home for themselves.
The Infinity was akin to being trapped in a windowless doorless room. Despite its size the place was barren of any life. No sounds emanated from the void. Creed, having become accustomed to the sound of the birds waking him up in the morning, and Dinn, already used to the constant sirens that plagued the city streets at all times of the day, were deeply unsettled by this discovery. Walking through the white nothingness was almost mesmerizing. They’d become so entranced with the way in front of them that when they’d catch a glimpse of the other in their peripheral vision it would only make them jump.
Dinn had decided to start setting up structures he knew they needed all at once. Not only beds, or toilets, or fridges, but creating bedrooms, restrooms, and a kitchen. Creed worked a bit more slowly. He created singular objects as they came to him. Being guided by Dinn’s walls and partitions that separated the rooms he would tuck in objects wherever there was space. From important objects such as stoves, and showers, to small amenities like potted plants, and books. Creed seemed insistent on getting rid of the complete lack of smell that surrounded them. Yet, the plants, the candles, even the trash they would accrue would never have an odor. Dinn couldn’t understand where this obsession came from, but Creed seemed adamant in adding what seemed almost impossible. Despite this, after a few days the two men found themselves occupying a somewhat livable though barren space. They had both important furniture that allowed them to feel somewhat normal, as well as some decorations that gave them comfort. And though they felt anything but normal, they were content to know they could just relax for a while until someone else showed up.
However, in spite of all of their progress Dinn was becoming rather irritated with Creed. Creed had not spoken a single word to him since that first day, and he would barely look at him. Dinn knew that his presence wasn’t something Creed was expecting, nor was it something he expected Creed to immediately enjoy; but now that they’re stuck in a world with no life and no sound, the silence from the only other living creature was not only deafening, it was maddening. How could Dinn possibly make up for past grievances if Creed wasn’t even willing to talk to him? Was he just supposed to talk to a wall and expect it to understand?
This wasn’t how he expected his time in the Infinity to start, and it was exceedingly frustrating.
Dinn caught sight of Creed once again heading out into the exposed area of the Infinity. The area they had claimed as their temporary home was only a fraction of what this piece of the Infinity had to offer. Just outside one of the back doors laid the huge expanse of white that enveloped the area. Creed was currently standing just outside their home, seemingly enjoying the view of the few blank trees that he’d set up there. He’d really rather look at bland white forms of trees than Dinn? He’d rather spend time with barren objects than Dinn?
Dinn’s frustration was slowly becoming anger, and without a steadying thought, he too stepped out into the expanse and walked right up behind Creed.
“Enjoying the view?”
Creed jumped in his spot turning around quickly to meet Dinn’s gaze. He clearly wasn’t expecting Dinn to leave the makeshift home, let alone break the tense silence that enveloped the Infinity. With a steadying breath Creed’s look of shock settled back to a neutral look and he turned back away to his beloved trees.
“Really?”
Dinn gaped, taking a few large steps around Creed to stand in front of him. Did he really just turn his back on him without uttering a single word?
“That’s all you’ve got to say? Nothing?”
Dinn challenged. Creed’s face was a mix of shock and confusion, as if it wasn’t obvious that he’d been avoiding Dinn for the past few days despite everything that happened. Or rather, had he not expected him to say anything about it? Dinn had been quiet and reserved when he was in Creed’s home because the place was unfamiliar to him, but this wasn’t Creed or Dinn’s home. This was a place neither of them knew and so they were once again on the same playing field.
Creed gaped for a moment, but once again shut his mouth and retained his neutral look. This only angered Dinn further.
“Are we going to talk or not?!”
He shouted, his voice echoing in the barren wasteland.
“Oh, so now you want to talk?”
It had been the first words Creed had spoken in a while, and they were laced with venom beyond his years.
“What changed?”
Despite his chiding remarks Creed’s face still held the same neutral look. Dinn didn’t like this. He didn’t like how Creed was able to remain so calm, it made him feel like the crazy one. The ex who couldn’t handle the thought of the other moving on. But that wasn’t him, that wasn’t them.
“Quit acting like a child Creed! If we ever wanted to fix anything we have to talk to each other! Both of us, not just one!”
Dinn spat back. Creed chuckled, his face utterly bemused.
“Excuse me? I’m a child? And what exactly do you mean by we?”
Dinn couldn’t stand the laughing. What was so funny about their situation?
“How is the silent treatment not childish?!”
He shouted.
“And yes WE! I don’t see anyone else trying to fix a relationship in this Hell hole!”
At that remark Creed’s chuckles became full on laughter. He was now almost doubled over holding his sides as he roared with laughter.
“Who said I wanted to fix this relationship?”
This made Dinn pause.
“What are you saying?”
“Dinn, you’re the one who showed up at my doorstep. You’re the one who came back into my life asking to talk, and ever since then you’re the one who’s said nothing. I was content living my life alone for the longest time. I didn’t go searching for you. I didn’t ask about you. I didn’t even want to know about you. What makes you think me allowing you into my home to explain yourself was me wanting to fix a relationship that ended five years ago?! If anything, Dinn, you’re the one giving me the silent treatment.”
Creed said all this while still lightly chuckling to himself.
Dinn will admit, he had taken Creed letting him into his home as a sign that he too wanted to repair their damaged relationship. That maybe he too had been feeling that old familiar pull towards each other, but just didn’t have the courage to seek Dinn out. He’d assumed that Creed was just as willing to talk things out and let bygones be bygones.
And yet, here he stood, laughing at Dinn, mocking him with the idea that reconciliation was on the table for both of them. Was Creed expecting Dinn to grovel and beg for forgiveness? For what? Being a human that makes mistakes? He couldn’t possibly understand what Dinn’s life had been for the past five years! How dare he assume otherwise!
Dinn could feel a sudden buzzing in his ears, rising to his scalp.
“So what, letting me into your home was all in an effort to placate me?!”
Creed straightened a bit, his laughter falling away, and his tone becoming a bit more serious. He was careful to notice the way Dinn bristled with his words.
“No Dinn, I have no reason to placate you. I have no reason to string you along. You came to me, telling me that you wanted to talk about what happened all those years ago, and yet I’ve been met with nothing but silence. In a way, it almost feels like you’re the one keeping me around.”
Now it was Dinn’s turn to laugh. With a loud chuckle he threw his hands into the air completely frustrated at what he’s hearing. That odd feeling now growing.
“So, what you’re saying is, you felt like you had no part in what happened all those years ago?”
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Creed’s serious look morphed from shock to an irritated confusion.
“Excuse me?”
“You only expected me to talk? So what, you consider yourself some innocent victim who played no part in the destruction of our relationship?”
Dinn was getting heated. He could feel his body slowly pulsing with energy.
“Well, for a lack of a better word, fuck yes! I’m sorry, but I’m not the one who walked out on the other for no fucking reason!”
Creed spat, now he was angry too, just as Dinn wanted. Two fools fighting in a world where no one could see or hear them. And arguing is where Dinn’s anger thrived.
“Oh, so now you’re going to use the abandonment excuse again?!”
Creed looked utterly bewildered at Dinn’s words.
“Excuse?! It’s what you did! You abandoned me! You did so several times, and for some fucking reason I was always dumb enough to let you back in!”
“I can’t believe this.”
Dinn said suddenly exasperated, the beginnings of small sparks forming on his fingertips.
“Did you think I was talking about you when I mentioned those ‘innocent lives’ we would be protecting by staying in this shithole?”
Dinn was almost chuckling to himself now. The thought that someone who participated in a war to end all wars was somehow just another innocent was laughable to him. The sheer audacity! If Creed believed this, he certainly must be delusional. Creed shook his head.
“Of course I don’t, but we’re not talking about the war or this place. We’re talking about the bullshit that went down between us.”
Creed said reverting back to a frustrated calm. The way he could turn off his anger so easily irritated Dinn to no end. How could he have such a command over his emotions at a time like this?
“Well then, if we’re going to talk about abandonment then maybe we can talk about how you abandoned the other surviving soldiers! How come they haven’t heard from you in years!”
Dinn shot back. Truthfully, he hadn’t talked to the other survivors very much in the past few years, but he somehow had a small inkling that neither had Creed. Creed stiffened.
“I did as much as I could for my fellow soldiers. During and after the war! I’m sorry that I couldn’t be like the others! That I couldn’t be some morale booster during the tough times or some excitable child during the good times!”
And there was the anger bubbling up again. At the mention of the other survivors Creed’s attitude became dark. There was something else behind that angry shaking voice, but Dinn couldn’t pinpoint it, and at the moment he didn’t care. As the sparks danced upon his skin, Dinn responded.
“Oh, so you were just another piece of furniture who couldn’t get your head out of your own bullshit to corral other survivors?! Well then, maybe you were the one who deserved to die!”
The silence that fell was a weight almost too heavy to handle. It was almost like Dinn’s words were still echoing into the void, repeating again and again infinitely. Creed’s face had broke, but Dinn couldn’t tell his expression. His mouth gaped like a fish and his eyes darted back and forth, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, after a while he turned deftly on his heel and walked back into their makeshift home.
Dinn was left standing in the open, still on the brink of letting the force of his magic crumble the world around him. He swung his arms back and forth as if he was trying to hit something. The sparks that danced upon his skin ignited, sending small shockwaves out into the ether. He was lost, could only see what was just in front of him. Because of that he didn’t see where they had gone wrong, where Dinn’s many failures created this hatred, this dismissal of him from Creed’s life. Likewise, he didn’t understand what was going through Creed’s mind. They’d been apart for a lot longer than he originally thought, and he couldn’t fathom why he was here now.
But as Dinn sat down to ponder his life choices, he began to hear his words echoed back to him. Words that he realized were said from malice and shame. Words that were directly targeted to break an individual, not to hash out any issues. And as he sat there, his internal temperature cooling and allowing him to realize the severity of his actions, he began to panic.
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His heels echoed through the quiet halls of white. Cautiously he made his way through the winding tunnels, not sure where he’d end up. Every wall was the same, every step sounded just like the last. He’d never seen a place so barren of personality or love. How could this possibly be the place he was directed to by some higher power? He couldn’t believe it.
Just as he was about to turn back, he heard it. A faint whimpering somewhere in the distance. Somewhere through these white walls there was someone else and they sounded distressed. Gradually he picked up the pace, listening closely to the soft cries he heard and creeping around each corner. He swore he was getting closer as the cries grew steadily. At one point he felt like he was walking in circles. The cries neither faded nor intensified despite his constant movement.
He started to realize that he was indeed circling a room, he just didn’t know where the door was. Gingerly he ran his hands over the plain white walls all around him. It felt like an eternity before he felt a wall give to his gentle prodding. Easing the wall open he found a small room, just as plain as the last dozen, but not exactly empty. The walls were decorated with picture frames with no pictures and lined with blank plants that grew tall. Small tables were scattered carelessly about with candles, vases, lamps, and plants placed carefully on each one. And in the center of the room was a couch where the crying individual currently sat. Holding his pale hands over his red face and still crying softly into his palms. He was turned away from the door and his long multicolored hair covered him up like a curtain of shame.
He stepped into the room cautiously, eyeing this poor pitiful figure.
“I don’t understand.”
He paused at the voice that came from the figure. It was so quiet, lost in its own sorrow.
“Why did you come back? Why didn’t you just stay the fuck away from me like you always did?”
He could tell the figure was angry, but it was a deep wet anger that was overshadowed by an unrelenting sadness. A sorrow that must’ve come from years of neglect that he was never able to face. Surely.
He stepped a bit closer and that’s when he finally noticed.
The man sitting before him sobbing quietly into his hands, all but losing control of his emotions, was Creed. Those small antlers, or horns, he never was really sure, were indistinguishable from the ones he once knew. Those markings etched across his face. There was no doubt that this was Creed, but what made it so off-putting was that he reminded him so much of his Creed. His Creed who he spent so long next to, devoted to. The person he loved to no end. Was he really sitting in front of him right now? How could it be?
“Did you comeback to redirect your anger at me? Do I deserve that?! Am I just a being for your vitriol?!”
Those words, the way he just spat them out with such anger. Who had hurt him to the point of such an unyielding misery? Who dared hurt his Creed?!
“Answer me dammit--!”
Creed’s head finally whipped around with such a force that swung most of his hair to his far shoulder. His face was stained with tears, his eye puffy and red, but his look was angry. But at finally turning to the person who stood before him, his look morphed to a sudden shock that racked his whole body. The candles that adorned them all sprung to life with purple flame. Creed stumbled to his feet backing away from the tall figure, knocking over one of the lamps on the side table just to his right. It crashed to the floor with such a loud sound, but it succeeded in holding no one’s attention. Instead, the two men stared back at each other.
“Who are you?”
Creed said, his gaze a mixture of fear and surprise. The other man could only stare back with a somber expression. All he saw was a man who had spent the last few moments crying over some bastard who sought to hurt him. He couldn’t stand to see his Creed unhappy, and this was almost too much for his heart to handle.
He resolved that he would be the one to make Creed happy again.
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Dinn still sat in the open expanse of the Infinity, steadily picking at blank white blades of grass as they grew to his will. It hadn’t sunk in what had just happened, what he’d just done. Probably because when his anger takes over, it’s almost like he blacks out. He struggles to remember what he said let alone that he ever said anything at all. This was a huge problem for him back when he was a soldier. He’d only been a somewhat higher rank than some of the other soldiers, so he always had to be careful about how angry he got around his superiors. Let alone his underlings that weren’t willing to put up with his bullshit on a personal level.
Perhaps now it would be just a tad bit easier to remember what he’d said, considering the only other person in this dimension at the moment was Creed. He knew the grievances he had with his ex, so he could hazard a guess what the conversation was about. That awful silent treatment.
However, now that he sat there, alone with his thoughts, he started to realize something. Creed hadn’t been speaking to him at all for the past few days, but Dinn hadn’t been talking to him either. When faced with what he believed was a complete dismissal he chose to fester in his anger for days. The moment he finally chose to break that silence, he came in like a raging storm. His words had to be harsh. He could hear himself yelling, screaming even, but he just couldn’t make out the words.
He needed to remember those words. Or at least a few.
There was something that he said that set Creed off. Something he said that was the final straw that made Creed turn away from him in that last moment. But what was it?
Creed wasn’t one to let his emotions control him, he was a calm individual. Level-headed as far as he could remember. So, what had he done that broke that barrier?
Straining himself to remember even a modicum of the conversation, he recalled a few small snippets.
You’re a child!
Or something along those lines. How ironic, considering Dinn was the one who sulked around his ex’s house trying to gain his pity. Is that really how low he’d sunk? It had taken him so long to conclude that he wanted to see Creed again; that he wanted to know Creed again. And yet, the moment he got there he just froze up. Didn’t Creed deserve something, at the very least?
You’re not innocent!
What the fuck was this about? Innocent? Which soldier on either side could honestly say they are innocent and not immediately be struck down by some holy judgement for lying straight through their teeth? Innocent of what exactly? Dinn wasn’t an innocent man, and neither was Creed! At least, when it came to the war.
What else is there? What else could he possibly be innocent of? Dinn couldn’t conjure any answers for that argument. As far as he was aware that part of the conversation was unimportant.
You deserve to die!
Well, yes that is an awful thing to say, but it wasn’t something that would break Creed. Creed had asked the question himself, what if they do deserve to die? Not just him and Dinn, but everyone in the broken altered worlds. Why lose sleep over things that were not meant to exist?
But, as much as Dinn racked his brain, he couldn’t recall any other words he said. So those must’ve been the last words he said to Creed before he turned away once again. Before he left Dinn to his own devices in the open expanse of the Infinity. That wasn’t nearly enough of a blow, and Creed certainly wasn’t that sensitive! Was he?
No, he must be remembering wrong.
You deserve to die!
What was that he said? How badly did he hurt Creed?
You deserve to die!
The listless Creed who had honestly considered death the moment he was told to save the world would not hate Dinn for suggesting the same. He was sure of it!
You were the one who deserved to die!
Dinn nearly doubled over, his mouth filling with bile as he finally recognized the words he said as they rushed back to him. A sudden storm cloud forming all around him had shocked his senses back to life. He couldn’t, he couldn’t possibly have said that to Creed. His Creed! How dare he use that memory!
The memory of Donyun.