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The Alternative Diaries of Raymond's Raven
Twenty-Fourth Claw of the Eagle (Bullet or Tackle)

Twenty-Fourth Claw of the Eagle (Bullet or Tackle)

“R-Ray-Ray. Wh-what do I do?”

“Not shoot me would be number one on the list.”

Bastogne, Blegium.

The land was found in between the French border and the Imperial German border, so it was usually stuck in between both warring nations, a highly contested battlefield. Due to the strategic value of Belgium, if either warring party were able to control the territory, they would essentially have easy access to enemy terrain and deploy their troops and heavy artillery with very little resources.

At this point in time, it has been a pass and go. Monday to Wednesday, the Allies and Belgium Resistance have control. Then from Thursdays to Sunday, the German Empire had claim. It was pretty much like a tug of war situation, only neither side were going to let go of the rope even if their hands were red and bleeding.

That was why it made so much sense, to see a certain all black triplane Sopwith Camel fighter plane half-buried in the mud and dirt in the fields of Bastogne. The air raid was dispatched on Wednesday, the moment midnight struck and Thursday came - all h*ll broke loose. The German anti-aircraft machine gun fire came in too fast for anyone to recover.

"Mein gott! Wh-why are these German Rifles so-so hard to carry! I-it's heavier than my dress!"

"...Sleipnir. Now isn't a good time to use German to express your frustration...you're confusing the person who'se holding me at gunpoint. I think he's starting to believe you're spy on his side."

"NEIN! I'll never betray my country! Vive Le Canada! Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves!!"

"Nuwooh!? D-don't just up and sing Rule Britannian out of the blue! Y-you're p*ssing off the one whose holding me captive!"

The pilot from the downed Sopwith Camel was an Ace among Aces. Althought he wasn't necessarily the legendary Toronot-born pilot, Billy Bishop, this gentlment in question fly over 60+ aerial missions and leads his own No. 10 Naval Squadron (callsign Black Flight).

His name was Raymond Collishaw. Fighting along side him, was his partner, a member of a hidden Canadian Witch Corp. She was best described as a beauty wearing a showy dress made of 1000 raven feathers. People would think, she would be wielding around a stick she would call a wand to cast spells and incantations.

For some reason, she was actually holding onto a Gewehr 98, a standard issue rifle in the Imperial German army.

Maybe it was because her Pilot friend was being held at gunpoint by a German soldier.

"D-don't worry, R-Ray-Ray! I-I've seen the silent movies where the prota-protagonist can shoot at the hostage taker by hitting him in the most exposed area possible! I-I know I can make the shot."

"Sleipnir. I beg of you - don't do it. You haven't taken a proper gun safety course. There is no way you could fire a high-powered rifle without dislocating your shoulder. Th-the shock itself would throw off your aim."

"...D...dislocated my jaw? Uwa-uwa-uwa. I-I didn't know it had that big of a kick!"

"I said shoulder. Come two steps closer to listen to me properly, b-but no more or you'll provoke our German friend."

"...........Don't worry, Ray-Ray. If it's for you, my jaw will take it."

"I SAID LISTEN TO ME PROPERLY! DON'T SHOOT! EITHER OF YOU!"

It was a mess. Right after the Black Maria got hit by a series of anti-air machine guns from the Imperial German trenches, it knocked the engines out of commission and forced both the Canadian Pilot and the Canadian Witch to experience a hard landing. Fortunately, the mud in No Man's Land was sufficient to cushion their fall to prevent any major concussion, however they ended up landing on top of a German gun bunker made of wood and bricks.

The crash alone, annihilated a good portion of the trench line, taking out several soldiers in the process. It was only a matter of time before the others would realize their defenses were breached and will send out men to both invesitgate and shoot on sight. Hence why Raymond Collishaw struggled to pluck the Canadian Witch out of the squished cockpit of his plane's tail gunning session.

It was highly unfortunate, that one German soldier had survived, found a weapon and barked at them to stand still.

"O-okay Kraut! I know you can understand some English so l-listen up! P-put the gun down, or I'll shoot you! If you don't comply, I'll shoot you! If you shoot my darling, I'll shove this rifle up your @ss personally!"

"Sleipnir! That's too graphic! You're already making my captor nervous!"

“H-how can you joke at a time like this, Ray-Ray!? He’s going to kill you and capture you! Or wosre, throw you into a pit of German Shephards! I-it's still the peak of m-mating season, y-you know!”

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“What he does, doesn't matter right now. I'm more concerned with the rifle in your hands! I've never seen you use so much as a pistol let along a child's slingshot. I-I have zero confidence in your ability to upgrade straight to a hunting rifle!"

"...A-are you s-suggesting, w-without training th-this thing will explode in my hands! Uwa-uwa-uwa. Th-that sounds super scary... B-but how come it looks so easy for your men to point this thing at others and start shooting? C-certainly, th-there has to be a trick to simplfy the controls!"

"........................ Please don't pull the trigger. Even to save my life."

"Heh? You mean this one?"

"NO! SLEIPNIR! THAT...was just the hammer, phew."

"Oh you mean this little ding-a-ling right--"

"DON'T TOUCH IT!"

In a serious situation like this, it was hard if Raymond Collishaw had snapped from the tension, or was simply born a brave man who could smile through any adversity. Somehow, he felt he had the right to start yelling at the Canadian Witch, even while he had another German pistol touching the back of his skull.

Now that you look at it, this simply was a dangerous scenario. Ignoring the fact the Canadian Pilot was held captire, the fact an untrained Canadian Witch holding onto a rifle of high calibre was just as scary. The Gewehr 98 was a bolt-action based Mauser rifle. Capabe of carrying a clip of a maximum of five 7.92 x 57 mm Mauser bullets, this rifle had been in service since 1898 to 1935, which was then replaced by the Karabiner 98k, or more popular known as the Kar98k. The Gewehr 98's design was so smooth and practical that it became the inspiration for future bolt action rifles later re-designed by the British, Japan, and even the United States. Having seen first blood during the Boxer Rebellion, it eventually was widely distributed across both the Imperial German Army and the Ottoman Army when the First Great War had begun.

Regarding to power - it had a muzzle velocity of 639 m/s, fired at a rate of 15 rounds / minutes, and had an effective range of 500 to 800 yards (depending on Iron Sight or Scoped). It could, essentially, punch through three stacked watermellons in a single pass...don't imagine the after shock as skulls.

So even if the Canadian Witch didn't successfully hit the enemy's head, the bullet itself was capable of going through virtually any flesh substance as if it were butter. And since this wasn't a movie that allowed slow motion effects, there was no way anyone could dodge a bullet from such a rifle within a radius of 10 steps.

"Ray-Ray. I-if you drop on your knees, I-I could get a clear enough shot to--"

"No."

"G-guh!? Y-you have to trust me, darling! I-I may not know what a gun even is, b-but I have various spells that allow me to adjust my aim! Wh-why, I-I can even use the last of my magic to learn the designs of the gun and how to operate it like an elite soldier! Y-yes...Oh cr*p, I-I think I left crucial ingredient of a wasp honey comb and elf leaves in the plane.......L-let's go back to you dropping on your knees! I'm confident--"

"No."

“Th-this isn't good! Th-the German is yelling at me to drop my weapon! I-I can't let things end like this, n-not when I haven't even tried to bear darling's child!"

"...Oi."

"Uuuh. I-I know! I know! I'll use Colossal Titan Spell, that Mystical Rangers usually apply in combat! Y-yes, I can double the damage point of one shot and take out that lousy Kraut B@stard that's holding you hostage.................."

"........Slepnir. I sense a 'however' that you're not telling me."

“The spell deducts five points of accuracy...I-it's just five points, th-that's not much right!?"

"Nein."

"UNYAAAH! W-was it the Kraut or you who said that!?"

Raymond Collishaw was in a pinch. A German Soldier pointed a gun from behind. A certain Canadian Witch was pointing a gun at front. He wasn't a soldier who specialized in trench warfare, but he could already imaging 1000 different scenarios that this could end badly.

The Witch girl shoots - Bad end. The German Shoots - Bad End. The Witch and German Shoots - Super Bad End. The last thing Canadian Pilot wanted, was to see anyone's brain matter flying over his face.

There had to be a solution to this messed up Mexican Standoff.

"...Ray-Ray. I'm sorry but... I love you."

"I understand. I hope your jaw doesn't get blown apart from the recoil of the rifle."

"........................................................................."

"...NOW YOU HESITATE!?"

"I-I...I don't want to lose you... and I-I want to keep my face intact... I....I............Huu...huuu....HUAAAAAAHNGGAH! YIPPEE KAY YAY, MOTHER--!"

"NO! ANYTING BUT A RECKLESS AMERICAN CHARGE!"

The Canadin Witch made her move. She took the first steps that would eventually reach the conclusion of this standoff. Will it be a happy ending like the Battle of Gettysburg, or another re-enactment of the Last Alamo. The only way one could truly decide the fate of the world, if they boldly reach out and grasp it with their fingers.

"Меня зовут Робин. Я девушка. Мне нравятся хот-доги и кошки! У меня красивое платье! Мне очень жаль! Ты извиняешься! LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN RUSSIAN AT TIME LIKE THIS--NUWOOOOH!"

The Canadian Pilot ducked at the last minute, the tip of the rifle flying over his head. Ther German Soldier was not as fortunate, as his head was too confused from the random outburst of a different language hammering his senses. Fortunately, the Geweher 98 in the Canadian Witch's hand had no bayonet, so he was not run through.

Unfortunately, they both tipped over like tea pots and fell into a messy pile.

“NYAAAAAH! TAKE THIS YOU KRAUT B@STARD! AND THIS! AND THIS! I’LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT! GYAAAAAAAAH!”

“Sleipnir, enough! You’re going to kill the poor girl….Heh? Girl?”

“GYAAAA! GYAAA! GY…..Heh? Wh-why is this guy moaning like a lady…...GEH!? A GERMAN MULAN!?”

Turns out the German Soldier was a girl pretending to be a boy. Her backstory was complex and it involved bribing recruiting officers with lots of Schnapps, but we'll leave that side plot for another time. 

"...Ray-Ray...this crossdress'ers breasts are bigger than mine...I'LL CUT OFF THOSE ***** AND GRIND THEM INTO ****, THEN I'LL TAKE ALL YOUR GOOD BITS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ****** WITH THIS RIFLE IN MY HAND!"

"S-STOP IT, SLEIPNIR! THE POOR GIRL IS ALREADY WAVING HER WHITE HANKY IN SURRENDER! SHE'S JUST TRYING TO RAISE MONEY TO FEED HER 10 SIBLINGS, SO-SO JUST GET OFF HER AND LET - HER - GOOOOOOOOOO!"

In the end, the Canadian Pilot and Canadian Witch were able to sneak back to their Allied Headquarters, with a certain German soldier (girl) in tow as a house warming gift. The details of her whereabouts would be left for another day, but rumor had she was able to extradite all of her 10 siblings and live in a certain farming town in Ontario, as part of a Prisoner of War re-allocation program.