Aw man, Yumeji thought to himself as he desperately scrounged through his refrigerator looking for something edible. I can’t be out of food already, can I? It shouldn’t have been so surprising to him, given that he hadn’t gone out for groceries in a couple of weeks. Oh well, he thought as he grabbed the last soda in his fridge and sat down at his little kitchen table. He could always go shopping tomorrow. Maybe he’d order takeout tonight, or maybe he’d just enjoy his soda and tough it out until he grabbed something to eat at a convenience store in the morning.

He put his soda down on the table after a few sips and began to get lost in his thoughts. A few things drifted through his mind. He thought about school, about all of the work that he was currently putting off which had to get done eventually, about his teachers and which ones would go easy on him and which ones would give him a hard time. He thought about Komi and how nice she always was to him, a few kicks aside, despite him not always being the most reliable friend himself. He thought about a song which had been stuck in his head since earlier during the day, but he couldn’t quite remember the lyrics, let alone the name of it.

But most of all he thought about his neighbor, Namiko Toro. He thought about how cute she had looked to him when they had bumped into each other earlier that morning. Something about her had stuck with him, but he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly it was. Maybe it was her presence, he thought to himself, whatever that meant. It seemed too vague to put into words, at least into any good words, words with real meaning behind them. So far it was only a feeling, one which he didn’t quite understand, but he was pretty sure that it was a good feeling.

It wasn’t love, he didn’t think. That wouldn’t really make any logical sense. He barely knew her. They had only spoken a handful of times, and never about anything personal. It’s hard to fall in love with somebody when you don’t even know the most basic things about them. What did her laugh sound like? What’s she studying? Does she enjoy the same music as me? Music, he thought, I wonder if she’d know the song that’s stuck in my head.

He had been in love before, at least he was pretty sure that he had. When he met Ina, his high school sweetheart, he was certain that he was in love with her. He loved everything about her, and delighted in learning more. They would talk at school, they’d talk before class, they’d talk on the walk back home, they’d talk in voice chat for hours, speaking quietly from their bedrooms so as to avoid being overheard by their parents.

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He felt absolutely devastated when they eventually broke up, he didn’t think that he would ever love again. He felt like all light had left his life. Then, a few months later, he met a new girl when he went to college, and he lost his virginity. Suddenly he didn’t feel so bad about losing Ina anymore. Looking back, if those feelings which once burned so passionately in his heart could be so easily forgotten, was it really love at all? Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, he knew that he did not feel the same way about Namiko as he once did about Ina. That he knew for sure. It was different. Whether it was different in a better or a worse way, he had no clue. But it was different.

Was he so shallow that he had become preoccupied with a girl just because of her looks? He hoped not, but it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility. He was only twenty, afterall, and after almost two sexless years since his last breakup it was a distinct possibility that the feelings within him were emanating from an organ other than his heart. Namiko really did have knockout good looks. It wasn’t strictly just her physical appearance, like her stats and specifications, either. Her personality and the way that she carried herself made her seem even cuter. Her coy smile, her posture, her perfume. Everything about her just felt… perfect. He knew that she couldn’t actually be perfect, obviously it was easy to idealize a woman that you hardly knew anything about. But in his eyes she was without flaws.

He thought about the dream that he had had earlier while he was napping at school, the dream about Namiko. It was a strange dream, unlike any dream that he had ever had before, in that most of it was a straightforward memory of something that had really happened. He went home and found someone waiting for him on his futon, just like in real life. The only difference was that in his dream it was Namiko, when in reality it had been that weird doll that he found.

Oh yeah, he thought as he turned towards the shelf next to his futon where he’d temporarily stored his mysterious guest the night before.

“I kinda forgot all about you,” he said out loud as if the doll looking back at him could hear what he was saying.