Please don’t see me, he repeated to himself over and over as he made his way through the park. This was a bolder move than he had ever made before, and definitely the most public. What are people going to say if they spot me? They’ll think I’m crazy, or a pervert. Which of those is worse? Probably a pervert. Crazy people get to live in comfortable asylums with cute nurses. People have sympathy for them. Not perverts. No, perverts who get caught out in public have to spend their nights in jail, with other perverts! God I hope nobody bothers me.
“Did you see that?” said one woman to another as Yumeji walked by them with false confidence, hoping to avoid detection by acting normal, an impossible task given the situation. The other woman turned around and caught a glimpse of him and his companion. She was cute, in her mid-twenties. Her hair was tied back and topped by a pair of sunglasses that weren’t in use while she and her friend sat shaded beneath one of the many trees lining the park’s cobblestone paths. Dammit, he thought, why’d a girl like her have to see me like this? I just hope she doesn’t go to my school. If this isn’t social suicide then I don’t know what would be.
Don’t get the wrong idea, from the beginning this whole experience was regrettable. He’d found nothing but trouble ever since that stupid doll showed up in his life. None of it had done anything to make his life any better. But this experience, taking it out in public like this, took the cake. He’d never felt so embarrassed in his life as he did right then, holding a doll’s hand as he walked along.
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“Mommy, why does that man have a doll…?” a little girl questioned her mother before having her hand pulled in the opposite direction.
“It doesn’t matter, let’s not bother him,” the mother said as she tried her best to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation with her daughter about what a fetish is.
Thank God, we’re finally here, he thought to himself as they approached a small lake which served as the park’s centerpiece. The sign in front of him said that the swan boat rides were 1,100 yen per person. He hoped that dolls would get in free as he retrieved his wallet from the front of his jeans.
Either way, he was relieved to finally be here. The day was nearly over, and soon he’d be back at his apartment, far from any prying eyes who might misunderstand his situation. He couldn’t blame them for misunderstanding, though. He barely understood what was going on himself. But one thing that he did know was that Namiko had always wanted to ride in the swan boats, and if he couldn’t take the real her here, then letting her experience it through this stupid voodoo doll was the least that he could do for her.