Novels2Search
That Guy Is Boring
Chapter 35 && 36 - Fly like a camel, sting like a tumor. (Part 1)

Chapter 35 && 36 - Fly like a camel, sting like a tumor. (Part 1)

The woman appeared to be anxiously waiting for the answer. Her hands, still clinging to Alex's face, went down gently, just touching with the palm first the cheeks and then the neck, where with the tips of her fingers she began a slow rubbing with her own particular rhythm. Not content the woman moved her face even closer to the young man's, moving to the side and breathing near the exposed skin, making sure to stay in the vicinity of his ear.

That was a whole new experience for him, but he didn't have the time or the ability to raise his flag and head off to the Elysian fields. The temptation was there, which was quite normal with a piece of pussy like that at criminal complaint distance, but with determination alone he managed to keep his feet firmly on the ground. Indeed, with that and the fact that he was voluntarily causing himself pain, clenching his left fist until his nails could penetrate the surface of the skin. That also helped a lot to keep his head on straight, it had to be said.

"I... I..." Mental and physical stress aside, the boy began to move his mouth in order to respond, but managed to string together very few words during his first few attempts. However, he no longer wanted to stay behind someone else's back, let alone that of Camilla. Even with that will in his heart, however, it still wasn't easy for him to go any further. But, in the end, he found in his childish idea of heroism a great foothold to force himself.

Heroes, or super heroes in their current conception, have always been figures that spoke more to the heart than to the intellect. And, when dealing with individuals, groups or, more generally, creatures that could easily put your life and the lives of others around you at risk, the intellect could show its limits. In fact, without a whole lot of heart, and a few hints of madness, surely a small place like Thermopylae would have no hope of being remembered for centuries to come.

"I just want to keep Camilla safe. I just..." Alex took to saying shortly after, stopping his tongue at a very short laugh, then showing a grimace similar to a barely visible smile. "I wish Camilla could see me as cool. And I wish I could live up to that image for her," he concluded with a second round of breath as he held his head up high, despite him realizing first how childish he sounded.

On the other hand, however, the woman greeted those words with a little hidden satisfaction. The same fingers that just before had been moving slowly and gently had now accelerated, becoming much more impetuous. The breathing, which was still hitting his neck at close range, stopped for a moment and then continued along a single low note played by the full extent of his now wide-open and amused lips.

"The same variables are happening again... How wonderful..." She then said, still standing in the same position, adding before letting too much time pass, "Bolzigs are creatures with thick, slimy, tough outer skin. Their insides, on the other hand, are delicate, to the point where a human child's hands could stop its heart by squeezing or pulling the wrong organ. If you want to kill such a creature, you need only worry about how to get past that superficial defensive layer. From there on, victory is a touch away. Basically, their physique isn't much different than yours, and that's a nice advantage for Players."

She concluded by further decreasing the distance between them, moving forward with her hands and quickly pushing past the base of her neck and shoulders, then tightening at the level of her upper back. Alex felt all those touches very clearly but he let her do it without a word. In his mind a single question had become more and more noisy, to the point of preventing him from being able to think about anything else and, therefore, distracting him enough from the, well accepted though, harassment he was undergoing.

However, before he could say it out loud, the woman clipped his wings, preventing him from speaking. Now that she had made sure of the variables in motion in this particular Game she knew quite well what was going through the boy's mind, having already experienced an infinitesimally similar scene. According to her calculations, in fact, the quantifiable difference with the data she had collected so far, compared to the last time events had moved in the same direction, was practically negligible. The previous time, instead, the differences were more evident and they went like that as the cycles went away.

A situation, theoretically, abnormal in its narrowing in the rate of quantifiable change. But all the Spectators knew the reason behind that strange coincidence, since it was hidden behind the hand of an Administrator and it was not even a secret but information in the public domain. Even though, in any case, none of them had the slightest interest in protesting, preferring instead to enjoy the Game without much thought while the Administrators worked to achieve their goal, whatever it was; they wouldn't care anyway.

"I know what you wish to ask me..." The woman continued to say, overlapping her words with a persuasive cadence, occasionally interrupted by a slight sigh. "But I don't feel like telling you much about the Skills. I want you to grow as you always have, showing me the history I can never get tired of observing," the woman paused, taking Alex's head between her palms and running her fingers through her sweat-dampened hair.

"Which is precisely why you will only know two things from me now," she went on to speak, not caring about anything else. "The first is that the Skills we have given you, as well as some of their effects, are based on the characteristics of your current instance as Players. What you were before you got here influences and will influence the effects and the penalty you will have to pay when you want to use them. Oh, and don't think there's much room for free will in this little world. When it can control the initial parameters of the algorithm and run thousands of instances at the same time, everything will tend to follow a default path."

After that long sentence made almost entirely without catching her breath, the woman seemed to draw a conflicted expression on her face, completely hidden from Alex thanks to the way she had wrapped herself around him. In truth, there was a part of her that would have liked to say much more so as to guide him in the most correct direction possible. However, the thought of changing his established path too much by the current variables made her desist. Although she fervently desired assurance about his progress, those kinds of fears could easily generate the opposite effect.

"Very well..." She said a few moments after making her decision, ready to move on with her initial speech. "While as for the second one, in truth I've already said almost everything I needed to say about it. You remember when I mentioned the secondary effect of the Bolzig flames, right? Those creatures don't possess similar abilities normally, but when the System boosts them by giving them the Boss or Mini Boss Class, their normal flames get an additional effect that affects those near the explosion, causing illusions and paralysis to those with weak minds. In your team only you and Sabrina have to worry about suffering that effect, so I recommend staying away from those flames. I will not manipulate illusions a second time to help you."

After that, pulling away slowly, he pressed his lips to Alex's forehead, barely touching the skin. The boy felt like a jolt go through his body as a series of information took shape in his mind. Then, a few seconds later, he lifted his right hand off the ground and ended up looking at it carefully, now instinctively understanding how he could activate his Skill, along with the risks and costs it carried. Apparently in fact, Skills that were not part of the Personal Skill category could also be a dangerous investment.

"Well," the woman resumed, fading away piece by piece just as the illusions before her had done. "I hope you'll show me again what I want to see," she continued to say as the world around them also went to crumble as the surface of a mirror would have done after being hit, only to make room for one last time next to his ear and whisper gently, "Do your best, I'm not an easy woman to please," causing that little reality of illusions to end with a big tremor right after she finished her sentence.

Alex watched that rapid series of changes in silence, soon remaining alone in that ruined space. Then, before he knew it, he heard Camilla's voice again, calling his name one sob at a time. For him it was like suddenly waking up from a strange dream. Returning to reality did indeed put no small amount of confusion in his mind but, whatever it was, it didn't matter now.

"Camilla," he said as his vision became less and less blurry, realizing that he was as stuck in the girl's arms as he had been with the woman during that long illusion. Of course, unlike the woman, Camilla's chest was less abundant, her skin not at all soft in comparison, and her arms certainly carried a lot more presence with them. Still, to him all that carried with it a scent of home that he would not easily give up.

"Camilla, are you planning on choking me?" Alex said again, returning the squeeze and gently tapping her back with his palm. In truth a little bit his hips were causing him a little pain not to be underestimated, but for pride he pretended not to. He did the same for the two broken fingers that by now had begun to swell, preventing him from moving the rest of his hand well, but what kind of man would he have been if he had started to whine?

Oh God, he hadn't done anything else up to that point, but let it slide.

"Huh?" The girl began to realize her recovery, though by now it was she who was in a state of confusion. "Huh? Huh?" she kept repeating in rapid succession, clutching at the boy's jacket with her fingernails, pulling and retracting the skin of his back. Of course, that particular gesture hurt like hell, but once again, Alex had to put on a good face; even though his cheeks were already starting to turn red.

The decision certainly helped, but the weakness of spirit still remained. Wanting to hide it as much as possible though, while at the same time trying to at least get her to loosen her grip because the poor beast was seriously starting to suffer, he rested his chin on her right shoulder and carefully wrapped his arms around her head. The difference in stature was noticeable even when on their knees, creating some slight logistical problems for him and making them quite ridiculous to look at.

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His efforts however brought some results.

Camilla seemed to calm down at least a little. Her breathing became slower and more regular, while her moans quieted down half a tone at a time. Alex was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. He could still clearly hear the sound of the Bolzig's footsteps, as well as the explosions that threw shards of glass and concrete into the air, but for a moment he only cared about his own, maybe future if he pulled his balls out properly, girl. Given how much he cared, however, those wishing to bet in his favor were at a disadvantage at the moment.

A handful of minutes later, the imbecile still hadn't let go. Camilla was still holding him tightly, which is why, willingly or not, he stayed by her side without even trying to free himself, despite the very difficult position he had to stay in because of the girl's height.

While he found himself unable to move, he slowly looked up and tried to understand what was happening. He had no idea how much time had really passed and could only scan the passing of the minutes thanks to the noises generated by the Bolzig. This, however, meant that someone else must be keeping him busy. Fortunately, the point where he and Camilla were located was far from the clash and the elevated position allowed him to observe decently the Monster's movements.

Following him first, in fact, he quickly realized that there should be no one else on the lower floor. The creature moved back and forth only a few feet while keeping its face pointed perpetually up in a direction that clearly suggested the second floor. Not that such a tiny detail was needed to figure out which direction it was sending its gunfire, as the mere roar of the shots made it quite obvious what its target must be.

Alex straightened his neck, looking for answers in the long corridor of that side of the mall on the second floor. Then, many meters away, he saw a figure running at breakneck speed along the same corridor, first moving away from them and then, during the pause between one gunshot and another, coming back and starting again.

The suicidal madman was obviously Roberto, busy for the better part of fifteen minutes not to lose an arm or a leg under enemy fire. However, after an initial difficulty, he had learned the timing well, so the risk of ending up at the graveyard had already decreased a lot.

"Fuck it." Of course, as a result of all those stunts he had ended up getting smashed once in the abdomen and once in the legs. In both places he now had an exposed and badly burned part of his skin that every now and then decided to communicate his dissent in the experiment with a burst of pain directly to his brain; which is why, when it happened, an expletive or a profanity might come out of his mouth.

The temperatures with which he was playing Russian roulette must have been terribly high, at least at close range, since the tail of a single tongue of fire had managed without the slightest problem to char the clothes that had previously been protecting his bare skin. However, in spite of the losses and physical pain, Roberto was still able to feel satisfied with the results.

Now that he knew how the enemy worked, both in terms of rate of fire and speed of movement, the behemoth was far less frightening to him than before. And, indeed, at the moment his morale seemed to have risen to the point where he was attempting, for the first time, to strike back at the blows he had sustained.

"Let's see how useful the training session with Pen Pen was," he said mentally counting the seconds from a safe position where the Bolzig would not be able to hit him. The Monster in fact immediately moved his heavy legs to his left side, trying to regain range. A procedure he had done so many times in the same perimeter that the floor beneath him was now begging for mercy.

"Good thing he's not smart," Roberto resumed saying as he kept an eye on his movements, paying particular attention to those of his proboscis. "If he had been smarter than an animal then he would have been trouble. But this way I feel like I'm dealing with a moronic bot. God, I sure hope there aren't any escort missions in the future, those would be a disaster to bring home by these standards," he went on shooting off to himself, with enough good humor in his body to throw even a half-joke into the mix.

Then, as soon as the Monster opened its nostrils again, Roberto snapped again to avoid being hit. The grin on his face had gone, without him realizing it, from strained to partially amused. His heart was beating only as a drummer on cocaine could do, his lungs were slowly beginning to beg for mercy and, of course, smoking could not be responsible for this last detail. Paradoxically, only the leg muscles still had breath to give, although the gym for the boy was only a memory of a pre-work period.

In any case, after dodging the Boss's shot, which thanks to his bad aim had turned at the last moment and aimed much higher than necessary, Roberto managed to have time to make the terminal appear in his left hand. With then a flick of his hand, he used the storage function of the device to make three not very pretty kitchen knives appear in his right.

"Now let's see what can be done with you..." He exclaimed with gritted teeth as he pointed his right foot to the ground and unloaded the entire momentum of his run into a single very poorly timed throw, focusing more on quantity than quality. The gripping technique he had developed in his imaginary world thanks to Pen Pen's kind support specialized in holding the handles between the gaps that separated the four long fingers of his hand, relaxing the muscles only at the last moment.

The three knives made a great flight, it had to be said. He experienced a certain satisfaction in seeing them whirling around very fast during their path, more or less in a straight line, descending obliquely from the height of the second floor directly towards the Mini Boss on the first floor. The distance separating them was considerable due to the fact that each floor could be considered a good four meters high as an average, at least as far as the ceiling of the stores were concerned, and of course it was necessary to add the additional space that was occupied by the pavement of the second floor.

In any case, even if only barely, two blades actually came to strike the Monster, one in the vicinity of his shoulder and the other straight against his chest. " Lucky me!" Roberto shouted afterwards, a little bit excited, but immediately afterwards he had to resume his run to avoid the arrival of a second cannonball.

However, this time, timing was not on his side. Because of the deceleration, he was now later than usual and, once he realized this, he quickly chose the only useful way to avoid the morgue. The burst of flame, in fact, had already been launched by now, but he was still not far enough away from what would have been the epicenter of the explosion.

So, throwing an unspecific curse at the Lord, he had to throw himself belly-first towards safety, simultaneously crawling and risking a neck bone on one side and, in purely technical terms, a so-called 'grating effect' on all the parts that would come into direct contact with the ground, since shards of glass, metal and concrete were scattered all around there like a myriad of marbles.

"Shit! Shit! Shit that hurts!" He tried to ignore the pain as much as he could, but feeling all those sharp bastards make their way everywhere was too much for him. In particular, his upper chest and the base of his neck had come out with more unwanted gifts, still anchored like ticks on his skin. In spite of it all though, he had to force himself to get back on his feet and resume his escape or it would end badly.

Gasping for air and cursing, he continued to run as fast as he could without looking back. He heard a third blow behind him, but not a fourth. After that, the ground beneath his feet shook slightly at a predictable pace, a sign that the Boss had begun to move again. "Ah... That went well for me," the poor Christ sighed wearily, pausing temporarily to catch his breath and check the effects of his attack.

Turning in the creature's direction, however, he noted with disappointment that it had barely scratched his skin. Although a normal human being would surely have suffered serious wounds if hit in the same way, the damn monster had come out with only two shallow cuts from which a few unnaturally dark colored drops of blood came out. "Cut resistant your sister," Roberto muttered, greedily searching for air in large gulps, not having many ideas on how to come out of that situation victorious.

"He has a ranged attack capable of tearing you apart. A cut-proof armor of skin and fat. And..." He took to thinking aloud in search of an answer, however, having to stop almost immediately to back away one more time and gain valuable time. "And with his size even fighting him at close range will be a problem. The only advantages from ours are his slowness and weight. Maybe if I could get him to drop to the ground..." He stopped his tongue a second time, lowering his gaze to the Bolzig's knees.

"If I could drop him would he be able to get back on his feet? In fact, how much would he hurt himself by falling?" He wondered shortly after, again going to end up placing hope in his initial enlightenment, discarding however almost immediately that possibility saw that it would be useless to engage neurons. "Even if that were true you'd have to be able to flip the equivalent of an off-roader. With [Supergravity] things would be different, but with Alex out of the picture I see it as tough."

Even saying that, Roberto was perfectly aware that even continuing to go around the Boss would not solve anything. Even the slight probability that the Monster was subject to the same rules of the System as the Players, and therefore had to possess a finite and not infinite amount of Mana or Energy, seemed to have gone up in smoke. With all the cannons he had fired up to that point, either his Mana reserve was limitless or it was so huge that it produced the same result.

No, right now Roberto needed something more in order to come up with a viable plan of action. He needed a weapon that could damage him or a useful way to fight. "And right now I don't have either of those." He ended up taunting himself with a puff of breath, fascinated in part by the difficulty of the task, but also quite annoyed that the developers of the Game hadn't even considered starting them off with something simpler.

Just as morale was starting to fall, however, a wild Mario appeared from behind a column on the bottom floor. Roberto saw him in passing, completely by accident. He was hiding from the Monster and seemed to have not yet been noticed. From what he could see from the second floor, he didn't look injured but seemed to be moving on his own.

"Ah, well. That was an obvious choice," the boy commented, finding himself agreeing that he'd left Sabrina behind in a place away from the mess. She wasn't going to be any help anyway, and indeed, trying to keep her safe might have become the perfect method of going underground.

For a few moments he paused to think about what to do. Not knowing his partner's intentions, making any move could have proved dangerous for both of them. "Did he approach to look for a weakness or to do something else? Either way I doubt..." Too bad, while the smoker's mind was traveling in the magical theoretical world of hypotheses, Mario jumped out of his hiding place armed with a nice massive wooden door as a shield, which he held with herculean-like from the handle alone, and a sort of very heavy looking mace consisting of a long metal reinforcement beam whose main body was formed by a lovely irregular block of concrete held together by other shorter reinforcement beams parallel to the first one.

A sort of Christmas tree, as far as its shape was concerned, but more naked and many times more dangerous.