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That Guy Is Boring
Chapter 30 - The First Mini Boss. (Part 1)

Chapter 30 - The First Mini Boss. (Part 1)

For the group it was hard to tell if the Assistant was taking shit or not. But, in any case, after wishing them good luck, the little creature's body began to evaporate and turn back into the same bright bubbles it had previously appeared as. Mario tried to ask him one more question regarding the mini Boss, since any other detail on the matter would have been welcome, no matter how insignificant.

Instead, the hairball vanished from the room before he could even finish speaking, leaving the big man slightly pissed off. "What the fuck!" He then snapped, knocking over a half-broken cabinet next to him, expanding his outburst with, "Are they fucking with us?" seasoned with a finely decorated final profanity.

"I agree with you," Roberto replied, dodging the insult against the heavens and entering the conversation during the pause just after the big guy was gasping for fresh air. Before he could turn around and glare at him, the smoker saved himself from a likely punch by saying, without being too much of a joke: "Try to calm down, freaking out won't help anyone. Have a beer or a cigarette if you need it to get your mood back. In fact, if you want to stay pissed off that's fine too; the important thing is that you vent your piss on the thing we have to deal with," while lighting himself a cigarette for the same reason.

[Warning,] the System's usual robotic voice intervened, communicating directly into their minds: [The One Star Mini Boss Bolzig Puppy has completed its summoning within the perimeter. The Mini Boss will be notified every ten minutes of your team's current location. The Instance Assistant will be available again upon the death of the Boss.]

Obviously, and how else could it have been otherwise, those present took well the additional disadvantage that had just been communicated to them by the System. As a proof of this, we can mention two, three, four... Other various and colorful curses to the Lord by Mario, a long sigh by Roberto and a: "This is too much...", said in a complaining tone by Alex. Only the girls avoided to become wild and, on the contrary, they prepared to leave the room immediately, fearing that their current position had already been made known to the Monster.

Of course, in practical terms it was Camilla who did practically everything, from grabbing water bottles and potentially useful tools to catching Sabrina by the hand because she could be behind her. However, considering the absence of complaints or refusals on the part of the girl, I would still say that the damsels, in this case, seemed to react better than the gentlemen knights of other talents.

In any case, perhaps spurred on by the view of them moving around, the boys finally began to plan their next moves. In fact, following Camilla's example, Roberto too stored in the Terminal some drinking water, a random tin of pickled food and a pair of freshly stolen binoculars. Since they couldn't know how long they would end up playing mouse with the cat, they might as well take their lunch with them.

"Did everyone get the necessities?" He then asked the rest of the group, unwillingly assuming the role of leader. The others nodded, more or less ready to go. Alex, in particular, felt his legs go weak as a second gurgle of extremely grotesque tones rose from the lower floors of the building.

"Ah, good. So he's getting closer," Mario hurried to say, seeking Roberto's gaze and approval to get out of the base and take a look outside. The smoker gave him the go-ahead and he didn't even wait half a second longer to spring into action, demonstrating either a lion's courage or a madness worthy of the pages of the Necronomicon. The rest of the group, on the other hand, followed him only after a nod from the big man on the other side of the door.

"Were you able to find him?" Roberto asked immediately, at the same time bringing up his own binoculars in his left hand. "No... I can't see anything strange from here," Mario replied visibly worried, while the sound of the Monster's footsteps were clearly beginning to be heard through the vibrations under his feet.

"It may not be invisible, right?" Suggested Alex swallowing nervously, observing the surroundings as he had done during his little trip with Roberto. Speaking of him, at first he opened his mouth to soundly invalidate that theory, but he couldn't get a word out. Because, actually, thinking about it for a second more it seemed to him a move perfectly in line with the development choices of those who had designed the game.

Just at that moment, however, Mario managed to catch a glimpse of the Monster's back in the distance. "Oh, shit..." He then let slip as he watched him appear from behind a column. The comment attracted the attention of Roberto and Camilla who, almost simultaneously, went in search of the point where the lenses of their companion were aiming.

And here it must be said, in a way it would have been better if they had avoided watching.

As mentioned before, someone like Sabrina or Camilla not accustomed to the dozens and dozens of hours of spontaneous torture defined by the general public as role-playing video games, would not have known inherently how potentially dangerous or lethal a Boss could be in such a scenario. Maybe a vague idea could even come to mind, but nothing concrete.

Well, and here Roberto felt for a moment an admiration towards the developers of the game, in front of the monstrosity that they found in front of that problem certainly vanished like snow in the sun. Knowing or not knowing what a 'Boss' was wouldn't have changed anything. Even the grand vizier of fools would have immediately understood that that thing was dangerous and, if they wanted to stay alive, the only intelligent choice to make would have been to turn tail and run.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

That Bolzig Puppy indeed looked tall enough to make Mario appear like a normal person in comparison. Disgusting purple tentacles were falling from his chin and the back of his skull like some kind of obscene-looking beard and hair. Those filthy things descended low enough to form a kind of dress that poorly concealed the grotesque shifting and undulating forms of his fat, round, and yet overflowing body.

Such a sight would have been enough to send anyone within our group of heroes into complete panic if it had happened just two days earlier. However, the advantage of having already put aside logic and reason, thus accepting the possible existence of powers and creatures far beyond their comprehension, allowed them not to shit themselves on the spot. And, I might add, even if it had happened there would have been no shame; I'd like to see how many of them would have been able to manage their digestive system when faced with a nightmare like that.

However, it was when the Boss turned in their direction that they could truly appreciate his fairy-like appearance. The cherry on top was in fact the conformation of his face. A deformed and purulent expanse of swollen masses in constant agitation, surmounted at nose level by a hairy protuberance that could remotely resemble the trunk of an elephant.

"Oh God... I'm going to-" Alex couldn't stand the spectacle, vomiting his soul directly over the railing. None of his companions could mock him, though other more delicate-looking people like Sabrina managed to resist and covered their mouths at best. Nevertheless, Alex fucking princess moment allowed the Boss to be able to accurately determine their location.

I won't even describe the genuine terror they felt when the Monster moved its head towards them. Nor does the strong feeling of helplessness, mostly new to Mario, necessitate extensive Homeric verses in order to be decently imagined. It was, and without great exaggeration, the moment when they truly understood how small they could really be in relation to what was waiting for them out there.

Of course, this was not the first time in the history of mankind that men had felt such terror. For example, in a certain fantasy or science fiction book, there was a story about a group of explorers returning from an enemy city who, when reporting to their commander, ended up describing themselves as 'locusts' in relation to the size of their enemies. Here, however, our heroes had to deal with one more misfortune.

The Boss' protuberance took on a strange undulating motion as it slowly rose and showed the two vertical orifices hidden under the tip. The Monster then used the same holes to store air, with a single long breath. Only to have an alarming emerald-colored blaze erupt from those same orifices a moment later.

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Get out! Get out of here!" Screamed Roberto just in time, running while catching his breath and moving in the direction of the corridor. In his rush, he grabbed with more strength than necessary the wrist of the first two people he found in front of him, that were Camilla and Alex, then he continued without the slightest intention to stop. Not having thought about it, he ended up leaving poor Sabrina to her fate, who unfortunately was on the opposite side of the road from where Roberto had left. Mario, meanwhile, was quick enough to retrieve the girl by lifting her up and carrying her away, separating himself from the other three.

The run of those brave warriors had been quick enough for them not to end up with their asses on fire, but not quick enough for them to avoid the blast wave that followed the impact between the fireball and the ceiling of the corridor. Almost as if they had suddenly lost their body weight, the five of them were pushed off and ended up tumbling to the floor until the residual thrust was exhausted.

"Everyone...everyone still alive?" Roberto complained after raising his forehead from the ground, immediately feeling a sharp pain in his left shoulder the moment he used his arms to lift himself up. Seeing that it wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself, he did his best to ignore the pain and repeated the question again, this time getting the attention of an Alex and a Camilla quite dazed by the carousel ride.

"I'm fine... I'm fine..." She said first, gasping for air and hiding as best she could a cut that had opened up on the back of her hand. But Alex's brain was still in enough trouble that he didn't notice that or the fact that the little finger and ring finger of his right hand had bent during the fall at a hundred and eighty-degree angle, so much so that now his fingernails barely grazed his wrist when his fingers were fully resting on the back.

He, poor soul, didn't take it well and panicked even more, almost choking on his own saliva. Camilla came to his rescue and did her best to calm him down, as a good wife would have done, while Roberto worried about something else. Imagining the worst, he got to his feet as quickly as possible even if it meant forcing his injured shoulder again, then moving his gaze in the direction of the Boss.

The Monster had not yet moved from its position, but was slowly pointing its trunk towards their location. A cold feeling ran through his body as soon as he saw it. His survival instincts kicked in with a swiftness that only nature could bestow on animals, causing him to resume his desperate run despite all the possible aches and pains he was carrying around.

"Shut up and walk!" He then shouted as he grabbed Alex's collar, throwing him a hard headbutt. Camilla tried to break them apart, but Roberto fucked her off and pointed his finger at the fucking Monster who was aiming at them with the equivalent of a cannon ball. Even she understood what the priorities were and, after a resounding slap thrown without much mercy at her husband's face to make him get his cool back, she grabbed his arm and started running.

With two people pulling him, Alex managed to keep up even though he no longer understood anything that was going on. The pain from the broken fingers had yet to be fully noticeable, but the shock had been more than enough to knock him out mentally.

Leaving aside his problems however; thanks to the quick and clean communication between the two worthwhile individuals who were leading him to safety, the little group managed to avoid a second explosion that smashed the window of a store not far from where they were standing a second before. Making it clear that if they hadn't moved in time, the glass alone splashed out all over the place at great speed and would have easily injuring them.