Chapter 16: *The Weight of Shadows*
Nix remained awake, gazing up at the ceiling. His mind was filled with the recent events; the fights, the near misses, and Roni's admission. The burden was becoming overwhelming, like an unseen force pushing him down. He sensed it in his chest, constricting more with each thought, every choice he needed to make.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that things were changing, and fast. His friends were moving on to bigger things, each pursuing their own goals, while he remained uncertain about his own direction. Sure, he possessed the capabilities to engage in combat, hunt for food, and survive, but what did he want? What was the point of all of this? Why did it constantly feel like there was always something just beyond his reach, something he couldn't fully understand?
He couldn't think straight, his mind getting more tangled, until he heard a familiar shuffle outside his door. Grandmother Laurie.
In the doorway, she stood with a comforting and warm presence that eased Nix's burdened mind. Silently, she walked to the other side of the room and took a seat next to him.
She softly asked him, with a hand on his shoulder, "What are you thinking about, boy?"
Nix sighed deeply, his voice strained. “Everything feels... heavy, Granny. My friends all have these plans, these clear goals. And I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know what I want. It’s like... everyone’s moving forward, and I’m stuck.”
Granny Laurie leaned back slightly, studying him. Her expression softened, and she nodded. “It’s alright to feel that way, Nix. Life can feel overwhelming when you’re young. When I was your age, I felt the same.”
Nix raised an eyebrow, not quite believing her. “You?”
Laurie chuckled, the sound of it like an old melody. “Yes, me. I wasn’t always this wise, you know. I was just a simple girl who believed that if I had enough faith, the world would give me everything I wanted. That was the advice given to me: 'You can achieve anything you desire as long as you have faith.' However, that's not how life operates.”
Looking out the window, memories from a distant past reflected in her eyes. When I was a child, I would collect abandoned toys found in the trash. Since we didn’t have much, I created my own toys. I thought if I worked hard enough, if I hoped enough, I’d be able to have everything I wanted, as the adults had mentioned. However, as I got older, I came to understand that it was not accurate.
Laurie sighed, her voice dropping. “The truth is, no one can be anything they want. Not unless they’ve got rich parents or some powerful backing. The world doesn’t give you things just because you want them badly enough. I had to learn that the hard way. That disappointment of knowing you’ll never have everything, it stings.”
Nix listened intently, feeling the rawness in her words. She wasn’t just talking about herself; she was talking about him too.
“When I was a bit older,” Laurie continued, “my hormones kicked in, and all I could think about was falling in love, keeping it, providing everything for my partner. Then I had my own family, I wanted to give them the world. But then came the harsh reality, the cost of living. The truth is, you can’t give someone everything unless you can afford it. And that’s not easy.”
Nix felt the knot in his chest tighten. He had felt that too, the desire to provide, to be strong for others, but never quite having enough.
"Laurie explained to Nix that life will always attempt to burden you with such pressure," she said gently yet firmly. "You will encounter challenges, uncertainty, and the tough truth that you cannot attain all your desires. However, that does not imply that you should quit.
Nix looked at her, his eyes searching for something, an answer maybe.
Granny Laurie sat back in her chair, her words filled with the burden of extensive hardship and silent contemplation. Nix remained seated in front of her, processing all the information she had shared about abandoned toys, shattered dreams, and the brutal reality of growing up. His thoughts raced in his mind, but before he could say anything, Laurie kept talking with a calm and purposeful voice.
Life continues moving forward regardless of anyone or anything, Nix. Not for me, nor for you. It doesn't decrease its speed just because you are unsure or confused. It continues to move forward, even if you hope it would pause for you to solve things. That is why it is important to continue advancing despite feeling overwhelmed by the world's pressure. Because it persists relentlessly, without pause.
Nix slowly nodded, absorbing her words. He had experienced that pressure, that burden, for as long as he could recall. The fights he engaged in, the daily risks he encountered, never ceased. However, Laurie hadn't finished. She wasn't only explaining the burden of life; she was providing him with the means to bear it.
"And the thing is, Nix," she stated, making eye contact with him that didn't waver. Facing life with nothing in your hands is not an option. It is a fierce fight, and without weapons, it will completely destroy you. Weapons are required by you. One of the most effective tools you can possess isn't just physical power or quickness, it’s knowledge.”
Nix raised an eyebrow, briefly puzzled for a moment. “Knowledge?”
Granny Laurie smiled with a look of understanding. “That’s right. Knowledge is one of the greatest tools for survival. The more you learn, the better you become at navigating the world, avoiding traps, and making decisions that matter. Life is filled with obstacles, and by being clever to overcome them, you’re already ahead of the game.”
Nix leaned in, curious about everything she said. “But… how do I know what I should focus on? What if I’m not good enough?”
Laurie’s smile softened. “You have to find what you’re good at, Nix. We’re all built differently. Some people are born fighters; while others are thinkers or creators. The important thing is to discover your innate talents and develop them, refining them to be better than anything else. Challenges will come in life, aiming to divert your attention, but you have to stay focused.”
Nix thought about his abilities, the strange hair techniques, his quick thinking in battle, and his knack for building things from scraps. He hadn’t fully considered them as gifts, but maybe Laurie was right. Maybe those were his strengths.
“Once you know what you’re good at,” Laurie continued, “you keep sharpening it. You practice it, improve on it, make it your weapon. And you combine that with knowledge, knowledge of yourself, of the world around you, and of the challenges ahead.”
Her eyes twinkled with a hard-earned wisdom from decades of experience. “But knowledge alone isn’t enough. You need something else, something just as important. Unwavering determination.”
“Determination?” Nix repeated, his voice quieter now, as if testing the word in his mind.
Laurie gave a nod. If you lack the determination to persevere through challenges, your intelligence, strength, and skills won't matter. And I have to say, life is going to become difficult. It will bring you to your knees, take everything from you, and make you feel like quitting. This is when your perseverance is most important. It's the factor that distinguishes between those who make it and those who don't.
Nix felt a tightness in his chest. He remembered the occasions when he had been defeated, whether by the monsters, the burden of responsibility, or his own uncertainties. However, he remained present. He remained on his feet. Perhaps, only perhaps, that meant something.
Laurie extended her hand and firmly grasped his despite being older. “Nix, you have the potential within you. I’ve seen it. You possess the spark, the flame. Simply trust in yourself and continue moving forward. Do not allow the world to cause you to question your abilities. Once you recognize your own value and possess understanding and resolve, there is nothing in life that you can’t face.”
Nix absorbed her words, feeling a shift inside him. It wasn’t about having everything figured out right now. It wasn’t about knowing exactly what he wanted. It was about moving forward, step by step, learning, improving, and finding strength in what he was already good at.
Granny Laurie squeezed his hand, her eyes warmth and wisdom. “You don’t need to have all the answers right now, “Nix, you don't have to have all the answers at this moment." What you must do is to continue moving forward, continue striving. You will understand as you go. Just remember that you're not by yourself, and you possess more power than you think. Whenever you are unsure of what to do, seek out those who care about you. We're all here if you ever need us.
Nix experienced a feeling of clearness taking hold. The pressure on his chest was not as intense. He didn't need to have everything sorted out just yet. Life was a struggle he could confront, armed with knowledge and determination.
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"Thank you, Grandma," he murmured, his voice filled with appreciation.
Laurie grinned and softly planted a kiss on his forehead. Take a break, Nix. Tomorrow will be a fresh start. And keep in mind, you are more powerful than the darkness attempting to burden you.
As Laurie left the room, Nix lay back, her words echoing in his mind. The uncertainty remained, yet a peaceful determination had emerged. He knew life would consist of ongoing fights, but he possessed tools to utilize: wisdom, power, and an unwavering resolve to persevere.
Nix closed his eyes, letting that newfound resolve settle in. Tomorrow, the world would still be there, full of uncertainty and challenges. But tonight, he had a little more clarity, a little more strength. He knew now that it wasn’t about having all the answers right away. It was about facing each day, learning from every experience, and sharpening his skills.
He didn’t have to be perfect, and he didn’t have to know exactly where he was going. He just had to keep going.
And with that thought, the weight of the shadows didn’t seem so heavy anymore.
---
The next morning...
Sunlight filtered through the cracked window, casting a soft glow over Nix’s small room. He stirred, feeling the weight of yesterday’s conversation lingering, but something about it felt different now. Instead of the overwhelming pressure that had been suffocating him, it felt more like a burden he could shoulder, a challenge to face rather than something that would defeat him.
Nix sat up, rubbing his eyes, and glanced at his Hunter’s Watch. He had several notifications waiting: updates on his account showing his share of the COIN from Jeff. It was from their last mission. A few messages from Roni checking his plans for the day. The morning brought more responsibilities, but instead of the usual wave of anxiety that accompanied these reminders, Nix felt a flicker of determination. Today, he would act differently. Today, he wouldn’t just react to the world’s demands, he would start planning his next steps.
He quickly put on his clothes and made his way to the little kitchen, where he was welcomed by the comforting aroma of Granny Laurie's cooking. Upon his arrival in the room, she glanced away from the stove and greeted him with a warm smile.
“Morning, kid. You look better,” she remarked, her tone light but full of understanding.
Nix nodded. “I feel better. What you said last night… it helped. I’ve been thinking a lot about it.”
Laurie turned off the stove and wiped her hands on a towel before sitting across from him. She gave him a knowing look. “Good. It takes time to figure things out, but the important part is that you keep trying. Keep moving, keep learning. So, what’s on your mind?”
Nix hesitated for a moment, then said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said, about finding what I’m good at and honing it. About knowledge being the best weapon I have. And you’re right… I’ve been fighting all these battles, but I’ve never really thought about where I’m going with it. I’ve just been surviving.”
Granny Laurie nodded, her eyes encouraging him to continue.
“I think… I need to start focusing on what I can control,” Nix said slowly. “I have been pursuing things aimlessly, and it has been exhausting me. I am aware of my skills in combat and adjusting, but I aim to improve even more. I want to sharpen my skills, like you said. I can’t just keep going on without a plan.”
Laurie smiled softly, pride flickering in her eyes. “I was hoping you would realize that, Nix. You possess greater potential than you know. It’s time to start making that potential work for you.”
Nix leaned back in his chair, feeling a sense of clarity. “I’m going to start training more intentionally. I’ve been relying on luck and instinct for too long. I’ll figure out ways to improve my techniques, my strategies. And I’ll keep learning, about the monsters, about the world, and about myself.”
Laurie beamed at him, the kind of proud smile that only someone who had seen the worst of the world but still believed in hope could give. “That’s the spirit. Speed is not the key, Nix. It's important to be prepared before taking action. And keep in mind, you have support in this. You have friends, you have me. "You have the necessary skills and abilities."
Nix grinned, feeling a surge of motivation. “Thanks, Granny. I realize that I don't need to complete everything all at once. I just have to keep moving, keep getting better, one step at a time.”
Laurie nodded, got up, and returned to the stove to resume cooking. “Now that’s the Nix I raised. You’ve always had the fire inside you. Now you just need to keep it burning.”
---
Later that day, Nix found himself at the southwest train station, the usual hub for getting around the city. He was heading to the South Novice Mountain, where he planned to train, hunt, and earn COIN to ease the burden of living expenses. But more than that, he was saving up for Roni, a promise he intended to keep, to get her a Crystal Core one way or another.
As Nix leaned against a pillar, lost in thought, familiar voices drifted through the crowd.
“Nix! Is that you?”
He turned to see Jeff walking toward him, his bag slung over his shoulder, a grin plastered across his face. A moment later, Prabh and Liam came into view as well, each of them looking ready to head out on their own paths.
“Jeff, Prabh, Liam?” Nix said, surprised to see them all at the same time. “What are you guys doing here?”
Jeff shrugged, adjusting the strap of his bag. “Heading to the SENTINELS base for some serious training. It’s part of the whole deal with my dad. He wants me to get some real experience this time.”
Prabh waved, her expression full of excitement. “I’m heading to the Airforce base for my camp. They’re running simulations with new tech, and I’ve been dying to try them out.”
“And I’m going to my family’s training camp,” Liam added with a smirk. “Getting ready for the official Hunter exam. I need to pass it and become an official hunter. No more novice stuff for me after this.”
Nix blinked, realizing they had all coincidentally ended up at the same place at the same time. Maybe it wasn’t that surprising—they were all used to traveling around this time of day, and the southwest train station was the closest to their homes. But still, it felt strange, like fate had thrown them together one last time before they each went their separate ways for who knew how long.
“Guess we all had the same idea,” Nix said, managing a grin. "So, this is the end for now, huh? Everyone heading off to do big things.”
Jeff nodded, his usual confident grin widening. "Yes, seems that way." We have a large amount of tasks to tackle. Who knows when we will have the opportunity to hunt together again, right? We’ll see what happens after all this training.”
Prabh leaned on Ollie, her massive wombat companion, who was waiting patiently by her side. “"It's strange to consider." We've been hunting as a team for a long time, but now we're all heading in separate ways. I suppose this is the goal we have been striving for.”
Liam chuckled, despite a touch of doubt in his gaze. "Sure, it's thrilling, but it's also a bit scarry." I am uncertain about when we will be able to reunite the entire group. However, we are doing the necessary tasks, right?”
Nix smiled, yet a small part of him couldn't dismiss the sense that changes were occurring quicker than he expected. As his friends moved forward, he was making his own plans, but the future seemed unsure. They hadn’t planned this meetup, but it felt important, like a marker in their lives, one chapter closing, another beginning.
Jeff, sensing Nix’s quietness, clapped him on the shoulder. “What about you, Nix? What’s your plan for the summer?”
Nix shrugged, glancing down at his Hunter’s Watch. “I’m heading to South Novice Mountain for training. I’ll be hunting solo for a while, working on my skills. It’s a way to bring in some COIN, keep expenses down. Plus, I’m saving up for something important.”
Prabh’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Saving up for what?”
Nix hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “For Roni. I promised her a Crystal Core if I ever found one, and she deserves a shot at becoming an Evolver. I’m going to save up and get one for her, no matter what.”
Liam whistled, impressed. “That’s a big goal, man. Crystal Cores don’t come cheap, but if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.”
Nix nodded, feeling the weight of his promise. It was more than just a goal, it was something that had been on his mind ever since Roni opened up to him. He didn’t know when or how he’d manage it, but he was determined.
Prabh smiled warmly. “That’s really sweet, Nix. You’ll figure it out. You always do.”
Jeff grinned and gave him another slap on the back. “Well, whatever happens, make sure you don’t overdo it. You have plenty to deal with without attempting to take on the weight of the entire world on your shoulders.”
Nix managed a small smile. His friends were right, but the responsibility he felt wasn’t something he could shake. Still, the thought of Roni becoming an Evolver kept him grounded, gave him a sense of purpose.
The train pulled up to the platform, and Jeff gave a final grin. “Alright, time to head out. We don’t know when we’ll meet up again, but we’ll make it happen when we’re all stronger. Don’t slack off, alright?”
Prabh and Liam waved as they boarded their own trains, each heading toward their own futures.
Nix watched as the doors slid shut and the trains pulled away, leaving him alone on the platform. Feeling strange, aware of impending changes with uncertain outcomes. Not only was he wasting time with his friends, but they were also entering unfamiliar territories that could lead them down separate paths.
He tightened his grip on the strap of his bag and made his way to his own train. The thought of South Novice Mountain lingered in his mind. It wasn’t just about training or earning COIN, it was about proving something to himself, figuring out who he was in the face of everything changing around him.
As the train doors closed behind him, Nix leaned back in his seat, his thoughts shifting back to Granny Laurie’s words. Life was a battle, and though he didn’t have everything figured out yet, he had the tools to fight it: knowledge, determination, and a promise to keep moving forward.
He stared out the window, the weight of the shadows no longer feeling as heavy. There was still uncertainty, still doubt, but there was also resolve. He planned to continue practicing, continue searching, and eventually, when the timing was perfect, he and his companions would come back together, more powerful, more knowledgeable, and prepared for any challenges.
But for now, it was time to focus on the present.