Molly – 35 years ago

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Asteria was right about Sheelin leading me where she wants me to go. Any time I leave the room to explore, she takes me only where she deems it appropriate for me to be. When I pass people in the narrow halls, they say nothing, but I can tell they’re annoyed with me being here. I don’t mind. I have fuck all to say to them anyway, though I know it’s supposed to bother me. My memory stone is full of friendly faces, and there are seldom moments of solitude. While I was an only child, I was never alone.

I know I’m reacting inappropriately. I should be guilt laden, yet I don’t experience those expectant feelings. The continuous void is maddening. The sole person I can find two fucks to rub together for is Connor.

I avoid talking. Mostly because it’s adventure time theatre every time I open my mouth. I never know what’s coming out of it. My brain knows what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Problem is, my mouth just gives zero fucks what my brain thinks. That doesn’t stop Connor from talking, of course. He has something to say about everything. It’s almost like he knows if he doesn’t fill the silence, I will, and what I say will invite that weird grimace he gets. Awkward level two, complete with a full lip drawback exposing his teeth.

They decide it’s best we bunk together, considering the whole purpose of my being here is to babysit him. That much I understand. While being his moral compass is my primary job, it isn’t the one I want. Nor is it something he needs. Thank fuck, since my moral compass shit the bed hard core.

My presence provides no benefit aside from giving him an ally, which I reckon is a pretty legitimate thing to need. Mostly, he’s just a petulant teenager stuck in perpetual puberty until he sucks it up and suffers for however long it takes for him to get to the age he wants to stop at. For that I have sympathy, but it’s impossible for me to empathize with what he’s going through. I don’t know the degree of suffering coming from Sumair energy withdrawal. Any memories revolving around debilitating desires are locked up in my gemstone.

As I’m lying in bed, Connor splayed out on his mattress next to mine, I pull the stone out from under my pillow and watch it. The movie has become my prelude to sleep ritual. The memories still have no profound impact on my emotions, aside from the continued curiosity they invoke. Nonetheless, I’m thankful for the reprieve they offer. Sheelin’s void of any technology, aside from running water, and dim lighting coming from the walls directly, like it’s seeping out her pores. Watching the replay is more appealing than watching Connor shiver in his sleep, cold despite the blankets I keep covering him with.

I hear someone talking. They’re whispering, but it doesn’t matter how quietly they whisper. Sheelin hears everything. If she wants someone else to hear what you’re saying, they’ll hear your whispers too. While she’s a place, she’s also a thing, alive with a will all her own.

“If the Archives wanted me to convert her, they would’ve informed me,” claims the angry man. Yeah, that’s definitely the asshole.

“They want Connor,” Asteria counters. “Concessions must be made to keep him.”

“We’ve already extended all the flexibility we intend to,” he states. “She shouldn’t be here at all.”

“What are you doing when she gets old and dies, while Connor’s still struggling to advance another year?”

“We’ll just have to deal with that when the time comes. Maybe he’ll have his head pulled out of his ass by then.”

“Maybe he will,” she proposes, “but will you?”

“We don’t even know if it’ll work the same,” he remarks, his tone softening.

“What harm could come from trying?”

“Oh, I don’t know…death?”

She sighs. “Must you always be so cynical, Tyler?”

“Being prepared for the worst case scenario isn’t being cynical. I don’t have the luxury of sunshine and rainbows like you do. I have mouths to feed and wars to prevent.”

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“Go ask the Archives what they think,” she suggests.

“They don’t answer questions,” he contends. “You know that.”

“They don’t answer your questions,” she mutters.

“I know better than to ask them questions!”

“That’s because you only deal in orders,” she persists. “Thinking outside the box isn’t something you’re capable of.”

“Just remember why there’s a box in the first place, Asteria.” His tone is cold, sending a shiver along my spine. “You’d have nothing if not for me.”

“And you’d have nothing if not for my Scholars!”

“Fine! Then you ask them. Let me know what you figure out.” He storms off. She leaves in the opposite direction.

Whatever they’re planning to do to me, I’m fairly certain I don’t want to find out. Conversion doesn’t sound in the least bit appealing…or safe.

I move my bed right against the wall. The cold stone bothered me at first, but the more I get used to being here, the less abrasive it seems. There are times the walls even feel warm, like Sheelin’s heating them just for me.

“Thank you,” I whisper, placing my hand directly against her. “Whoever or whatever you are, I feel less alone because of you.”

The stone warms under my hand.

“I need to get out of here,” I continue.

The wall turns ice cold.

“Calm the fuck down. Not forever,” I explain. “I just need some fresh air.”

The door to the room opens.

“Going for an adventure, am I?”

I get up from the bed and make my way as quietly as possible to the exit. I don’t want to wake Connor up. Sheelin never takes me exploring when he’s awake. She leads me down several halls before opening a door in front of me. It’s a room I haven’t seen yet. There are shelving units holding barrels full of circular pebbles. They aren’t gemstones like the one holding my memories, but they’re just as smooth looking, sort of like marbles.

Someone grabs my shoulder. My entire body tenses in fear, as though I’ve been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Maybe I have. Maybe these are food pellets or something.

“What are you doing here?” prompts the voice.

I haven’t met the man before, not once in my two month notvacation in Sheelin. He’s much more pleasant in demeanor than Tyler the Tyrant, but I reckon I’m someplace I shouldn’t be.

I shrug. “I wasn’t leading the expedition.”

“We should probably get you back to your room,” he cautions. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m Murphy,” he introduces himself.

“Ah, the water elemental.”

He smiles. “And you’re Molly, sister of the rule-breaker boy.”

I give him a chin lift in confirmation.

“Does rule breaking run in the family?”

“Fuck if I know.”

He frowns. “This isn’t a safe place for others to find you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I won’t keep it in mind or anywhere. His authority means fuck all to me. Major fist bumps for keeping that to myself. Woot. Progress. Connor would be proud.

His hand is still on my shoulder, and it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. Might have to break it if he doesn’t fuck off. He leads me back the way I came, but Sheelin has different plans. The wall doesn’t move when we come to the end of the hall.

He clicks his tongue. “Really now, Sheelin. What were you hoping to accomplish?”

The wall remains.

“I can force you,” he threatens. “I’d rather not do that, if we can avoid it.”

The walls shake around us. I can’t tell whether Sheelin’s laughing at his threat or actually scared of him. That’s the trouble with making friends with someone who has no real way to communicate with you. She wins the gold prize for being the best listener though.

“What are your plans for Miss Molly?” he asks playfully.

The door behind us opens and closes.

“Well, I think we both know there’s only one way that’s happening.”

I’m at a loss.

“Come on, Molly.” Murphy coaxes me back in the direction we came from. “When you can’t go left, you must go right.”

I shrug and follow him.

“What’s in the rock room?” I tip my chin as we pass it.

“Landing and departure stones,” he asserts.

I stare blanks.

“Sheelin’s a demiplane limited to the space of the house residing here. There’s nothing outside the house, yet the area does bend and move to accommodate its occupants. One might even classify Sheelin as a living thing. Some believe Sheelin’s responsible for everything we are.”

“The stones are required to get in and out?” Bless my black heart, my best bitch was taking me on a joy ride until that oozing piss flap interrupted.

“Exactly,” he confirms, “and the only way you’re getting in or out is by serving some purpose beyond these walls.”

I have no purpose but to babysit Connor, and I can’t imagine them approving an outdoor recess.

“What do you suggest?”

“We’re just going to have to follow your brother’s footsteps, and break some rules.”

“Fuck yeah! What rules are we breaking?”

“The ones about who should become a Sumair and who shouldn’t.”

Not excited anymore. Nope. Fuck that. “Do I get a say in this?”

He smiles again, but it doesn’t make me feel better. It terrifies me because it answers my question, and the answer is hell fucking no.

“Do you want to leave this place?”

“For some fresh air, yes,” I hedge.

“Well, there’s your answer.”

Sheelin clearly agrees with him since she leads us right to the main hall, where Tyler sits waiting for me.