Chapter 21: Nothing to say
[Gabriel’s POV]
Look like the conversation has finished, thus the door opens with animosity. I don't like the tension from the start of the visit at all. The way they have talked sounds like a play that all but me has the script. I am already used to being ordered by others, but the only person you said that he wouldn’t lie to me.
Where was the time in my childhood when we had such a dream, the one that you sang me some unrealistic faraway land? From this sorrow of reality, there is no use to mourn about something that can’t be obtained anymore.
“Gabriel!” A snap back from reality from Azazel, he seems winning in whatever bet inside that room before. Ha…such a cumbersome existence, but at least he is much more honest with his words unlike most of them.
“Is that finish, whatever you wish to do with him, Fifth?” I asked for the exchange, but it was appreciated. A hound doesn’t want to be asked where it took the bone from, just like him.
“I have finished with your brother, remember not to agitate him too much,” A monotone, quite a quick wit of a warning.
Before turning his back against me, he says with a whispering tone “The pain you felt, was but a short-lived once. Still, hold dear to those childish thoughts, you may find them as a sharpened knife as well.”
“Come in,” The voice echoes from the room, it sounds as authoritative and irritating as he is. For one simplistic reason, I must tell him of my feelings. Whether he hears it or not, I still say the truth I believe to be.
Stepping inside the room, a trace of mana leaked through; multiple strings of his and Azazel intertwined but they were in a conflicted state. From the look on his face, the tiresome one. I can tell how he is enduring this…still, he lied.
“Have you thought about what to say and what not?” Mikhail opens, those cold dead eyes staring at me with contempt, just like father. The tension is hard to breathe because of how uncanny my brother becomes a carbon copy of the person that once hurt us.
“Cease this,” I mumble before taking a chair to myself. Sitting across from him with some cold tea left still untouched, the pot has spilled over through the clash of my aura his mana.
“I don't understand, Gabriel. What you mean by cease, at least tell me of what I have done to anger you.” Mikhail says with a confused voice as if he was certain of playing this façade as his face. I know him more than enough of my life to him change in a split second like this.
“Don’t play coy with me, you are unlike this. Haven’t you heard from last time to treat my visit you long for a brother?” I say with a warning tone. His deception from last time was out of duty, I didn’t think it through after hearing that from Camael and Raphael.
The reason he has done such was to be “fair” and not to interfere with the war between dragons and humans. Telling a pawn in such a plan would collapse the whole picture with such a slither of enthusiasm. What a scornful thinking.
“Are you saying that from the connection between us twins or from the spite that I am unable to live up to what you imagine to be a perfect brother?” Mikhail changes his tone to scoff rather than the pretense personality. So he starts to show his true color, doesn’t he?
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The words suffocate in my mouth like some spells were cast on my body. I don’t know whether to show my disappointment or refuse the reality that flesh before my eyes. Father’s experiment has failed as he has created no more than a replica of his yearning.
“Are you thinking whether, to be frank or drag this to be long with this charade so that everything would stay the same?” Mikhail asks while taking a bite of pastry; through the sweet taste, I can feel the bitterness from that.
“Why can’t it? You told me those tales that can come true through pure willfulness. Or that you have abandoned those kindnesses you have given me before.” I grunt my dissatisfaction vocally, the ground shunner of my uncontrol and spreading mana.
I did it again and after a sudden tantrum. The room seemed disorderly, books lying on the ground, paper scattered abound as Mikhail was still collecting them and disregarding the damage that I had caused.
I want to apologize as I approach him waiting for a scold or something befitting the superior that the others like playing around with. After all, he has changed and all waiting for me is a punishment worthy of my obedience.
“You have finally calmed down, I am relieved that you aren’t hurting yourself like before.” Mikhail welcomes my return with a warm embrace instead, I am confused by his mixed signal.
“Are you going to punish me, Mikhail? After all, I have done to anger you; you have said that you would be working toward a more dignified self.” I ask him as I hold him tight within it, my tears of hope for him to tell me what I should do. At least then, I would feel less guilty for what I have done.
“No, Gabriel. You are mistaken, while changing it doesn’t disregard this bond we share. No matter how words hurt and lives may be forfeited, you are still my little brother.” Mikhail says with a warm voice, his tone returning to what it used to be.
Maybe God has heard my pleading, for a single moment of doubt that I thought of a reason for him to treat me no more than a tool but my faith in Mikhail’s compassion proves true still.
“Then tell me, why have you pushed me away? Am I so much of a burden for you to keep around?” With the rest of my emotion, I come forward with the sadness I thought before, as tears fall with each word I say.
“May I tell you a story, Gabriel? The story about a caged bird.” Mikhail says while holding me in his arms again like old times.
The story is about a bird who was bound in cages for so long that the first time it tasted freedom, it witnessed the wild hawk being shot down with a bow and arrow just because the hawk came close to it.
The second time the cage opened, a canary came with the song so pure. The canary enveloped with the caged bird and shared food so the canary sang with all its heart. Until all the yellow feathers fell, did the bird know the canary’s songs cry of pain?
The last time, the cage opened. The caged bird no longer desired such freedom as its existence only caused pain to the neighboring birds so it made a silent vow with the cage.
“This cage only invites death to my friends, but without the cage, I would perish so I would make this cage scared. No birds would approach such a cage, and no one would die again.” Mikhail ends the story with the bird in forever solitude in a cage made by itself. Even when the cage may no longer exist, it would still have an influence on such a bird.
“Such a sad story, where do you find this story?” I ask him.
“It doesn’t make my mistakes, Gabriel. I have grown fond of this one as I continue on working.” He answers with an ominous tone as the moon from outside has already set for the morning dawn to come. The light is so inviting of a new beginning.
“Then would the bird know of such a world inside of the cage? Through how many times it ruffles the feather, the one grows still the same.” I answer trying to find a happy ending to debate a sad story.
What would have happened if the hawk had never died from the bow and arrow? And the canary as well, would it know of poison at play if the bird knew of its pains? So many more words stuck in my mouth but…his look is so sad now that I can’t help but be silent.
“The world inside of the cage is also changing, nothing stays the same forever. As the feather did not change its colors, the textures were no longer comfortable to be touched by.” Mikhail answers, he raised a good point…In a daze, I almost forgot about the current world and how fast things change.
“I must be going, Camael awaits my arrival for training.” I step up quickly almost hitting him. His face is one of surprise, it would be the first time he show real emotions for a long time.
“Then go, I am no longer holding you back. But visit normally next time.” Mikhail answered with a sigh as a waved goodbye. A sleepless night, but the sentimental stay; I am not a child anymore yet a lullaby does no less.
The end