I look at my friend; her face now pale from my declaration, her purple hair mussed up from the day's work. Her eyes are darting around, searching my expression for information, and her eyebrows have a slight furrow to them as she waits for me to speak. "I could probably do subtle; beat around the bush here, but...," "Ko-lee, do you like me?" I ask, my words a continuation of my thoughts. Ko-lee is silent, the familiar look of focus etched deeply in her expression, but my question returns a bit of color to her face, and then some. I sigh, as I sit down on the bed, resting my back against the wall as I do. "It's... I think we should maybe talk about this? Before we climb into a bed together," I continue, as Ko-lee reprises her role as a mime. "Has she every mentioned a partner before?" I think, doing my best to remember every conversation we've had in the last couple of months. "I can't recall, but I highly doubt Sharip had a huge dating pool. Also also, she had the whole 'groomed to be the Chief' thing going on, which is for sure hardmode when it comes to tryna date."
"Okay, so, I'll go first then," I say, as she stands in the small space in front of me. "'Hey Ko-lee!'" I exclaim, faking the start of the conversation again. "'So uh, you should know that I like you, actually.'" My confession causes some of the tension to leave her shoulders, and I give a slight head nod to let her know that the floor is open for her to speak. Her mouth opens and closes once, before she finally manages to speak up. "I think I like you too," she says, her voice steady. "Great!" I respond enthusiastically, patting the bed next to me. She takes the opportunity, crawling up onto it to sit perpendicular to me; her legs over top of mine as we claim the two walls near the corner. "We are on the same page. That is-that's good. Pining sucks," I say, flashing her a quick smile. "Yea," she responds. "So," I continue, "have you ever been in a relationship before?" She just gives me a non-committal shrug.
"I've had some flings before, but no, nothing serious. Oh, and, uhm... I've only ever been with guys," she says, the last bit thrown out like an afterthought. "Alright. That's... hmmm," I say, processing her words. "It needs to be addressed, but first..." "So, I want to lay some cards down on the table for you. Just... so you know where I am coming from. I am interested in you, but I'm married," I explain. Her shoulders sag, but I quickly carry on. "It's not an issue though, because I'm... uh. Polyamorous," I say, needing to use the English word. Ko-lee just gives me a confused look, and so I explain, "it means to be in a relationship with more than one person." I can see in her eyes the moment her brain accepts it as an idea; new connections being forged as she contemplates the thought. "Oh is that... you can do that?" she says, her question only somewhat rhetorical. "I would imagine there is an Origin word for it, I doubt I'm introducing the concept," I say, grinning. "But yes, I'm both married, and have a boyfriend." "Where are they?" she asks.
"You'll never see them agaiiiiiin~," my thoughts sing unbidden, but I do my best to shut them down. "God willing, far far away from here," I say, in response to her question. "But my point is, normally I would have this conversation with them, and... well, it's not an option, right now. It will not be an issue. Probably." "Honestly, it would for sure be overshadowed by the isekai B S," I think, mentally chuckling at the absurd image. "Okay, so... is there a problem then?" Ko-lee asks, dragging me back down to earth. I shake my head. "No, it's not a problem, I just wanted you to understand the situation. You would be entering into a non-standard relationship which, as far as first time relationships go... well, I would not normally suggest it. It can be a bit tricky. Especially since, if we did want to... ya know... date, then I would continue to be polyamorous," I say. "I'd still be 'on the market', as it were." Ko-lee's brows furrow. "Hmm," she hums, her gaze unfocusing from me as she thinks about the ramifications. I give her a moment to process it, before continuing. "So, yea, I guess I want to ask you if that's something that you are comfortable with. And, by all means, if you meet someone as well, then you can date other people too. I'm not trying to pull a fast one on you. The rules apply equally," I say, bringing her focus back to me. "Would..." she starts, then stops, then starts again. "Do I need to date someone you're dating?" she asks, uncertainly.
"No," I say, smiling. "You totally do not-don't have to. You can, if you want, but no, it's not a requirement. This is not a ploy for threesomes, it's..." I say, before taking a moment to gather my thoughts. "I subscribe to the belief that there is no such thing as 'the one'. Anyone you date is going to have qualities that you really enjoy, and some that... maybe you care a bit less about. For example, back home, my wife and I really click on music, and talking about psychology, and things like that. My boyfriend on the other hand, well, he and I really enjoy video games, and going to theme parks. They are different people that have some overlap, and some not, and I love them differently, but equally. Does that make sense?" She nods, and I continue doing my best to put my feelings into words. "Instead of trying desperately to find one person who likes music and video games and theme parks and psychology and the myriad of other things that I like my partners for, I just date multiple people. That way I don't need to put all of my hopes and dreams and desires on one specific person."
Ko-lee gives me a questioning look. "But, what about jealousy?" she asks. "I don't really... get jealous," I say, before my mind chimes in, unbidden. "Autism. Broke brain syndrome. You don't function right." I gently shake my head, as though attempting to dislodge the thought, before continuing. "Some people get jealous, and that is fine. Polyamory is not for everybody." Ko-lee is clearly processing everything I've said up to this point, and there's nearly a full 20 seconds of silence, before I feel the need to speak up. "I want to point out that I'm sort of glossing over a lot, since it's a new concept for you. I could probably do a whole hour long talk about the intricacies of polyamory. This is just broad strokes," I say to my potential girlfriend. By this point, the previous nervousness and excitement that she had is gone, replaced with the look of focus and intent I've seen so many times before. I take a deep breath, before interrupting her train of thought. "Also, sorry, I know you are still thinking about that, but there is one other... thing... that I need to bring up," I say, feeling the nerves crawl down my spine and across my shoulders.
Her attention refocuses on me. "Something else?" she asks, and I nod. "Yea, you mentioned that you've only dated men before?" She nods, a tinge of color returning to her cheeks, and before I get a chance to continue, she speaks up. "I do want to date a woman! I'm... I just... haven't, before." "Right," I say, doing my best to project calm. "That is... what I want to talk about. You know that I'm not..." "Kill me now." "...a regular woman, right?" "i'M NOt LIkE otheR gIrLs," I think sardonically, doing my best to avoid projecting my frustrations. "What? What do you mean?" asks Ko-lee, curious and slightly worried. "Well," I sigh. "You cleaned me up when we were back in Sharip, right?" She flinches at the name of her home, but nods. "So... you know that I'm not... I do not have the uhm... parts. That might be expected," I manage to stammer out. Ko-lee's expression doesn't change, as she continues to stare at me with the same look of confusion. "Yea?" she half asks, half states. "And? You... so like... are..." I stutter, before taking a deep breath to recenter myself. "You are not really reacting to that the way I thought you would."
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"You are a woman, correct?" asks Ko-lee, and I nod. "Yes! I am! I just... I was not... born as one," I say, trying and failing to keep my voice level. "Sure, it was either that or a bodymod," she states matter of factly. "Oh. Uhm. Okay. And... and you're okay with that?" I ask, feeling more caught off guard by her blasé reaction. "Yea? Why wouldn't I be?" she asks back, and I can't stop the massive grin from forming on my face. "And folks, it's that fuckin' easy," I think to myself, frustrated and entertained in equal measure. Ko-lee smiles back, but then it quickly drops off her face. "I... I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of sharing partners. I've never even dated a single person, I don't know that I could do more than one at the same time," she says, looking down at the bed. "Hey, that is-that's fine," I say, placing my hand on her knee. "I'm not saying you have to make a decision right at this moment. I just... I think we were both sort of beating around the bush, by not just telling each other how we felt. I just thought it was something we needed to talk about, since we were about to crawl into a bed together," I say.
"Still, for now, it would effectively be monogamous anyways, since I'm not really searching for anyone. I just wanted you to be aware of it, and, down the line, if it's a deal breaker, then..." I leave the idea unsaid, and Ko-lee gives a look of understanding. "Yea, I get it. I... I think I'm willing to try..." she says, and I give her knee a squeeze. "You sure you do not want to think about it for a bit?" I ask. "I have been thinking about it," she says, looking at me, as though challenging me to say otherwise. "That's not... really what I mean, but... okay. I'm willing to give it a shot if you are," I say, flipping my hand over and offering it to her. Her face lights up, and she reaches out in kind, intertwining her fingers in mine, and we just sit there in the moment, both beaming. "We will need to talk a lot in the next couple days, I think. Lay down some boundaries and important things to know about each other, and so on," I say, rubbing my thumb on the back of her hand. "And tell her everything about me. Which, I need to do soon, very soon. But not right away. I don't want to overwhelm her," I muse. "Sure," she says, her eyes bright. "Well...," I say, untangling my legs from hers, "I'm gonna go change." There's the quickest flash of a frown on her face, and I can't help but give her a knowing look.
"Slow down cowgirl, there's no rush. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."
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Nearly a week and a half later, Ko-lee and I have settled into a bit of a routine together. Skinning hasn't gotten any easier, but every day we get a few more tips from Jae, and the repetition leads to slow but steady improvements. Our improvements became so noticeable in fact, that we started needing to use two carts, since I could nearly fill one up just by myself. Not to say that every day has been smooth sailing. For example, only a few days after Ko-lee started working with us, we were moved from our original worksite to a new one, which contained much more interesting terrain. Rather than being an almost entirely flat tunnel in which we could bring our carts all the way down, we instead were faced with a tunnel that had two 90 degree bends in it, like the squiggly tetromino. There was some obstruction that needed to be navigated around, and it meant that harvesting within the tunnel was more of a group effort than usual, as slabs needed to be passed up and down the 10 foot cliff. I had been climbing the ladder that day, and my hands were slick with kuva. Unsurprisingly, this led to me slipping off of the ladder, falling 3 or 4 feet onto my back into a pool of blood.
At the time, it was a pretty miserable experience, although now it's a fun story to bring up when drinking over at The Drop. Another day, Jae was interrupted during one of his lessons by a bout of excessive coughing. That reminded Ko-lee about gilded lung, and so she and I went to pick up some PPE the next day, grabbing an extra set for Jae. However, when we brought it to him, he refused to wear it, stating that it "wasn't that big of a deal." Ko-lee wasn't particularly enthused by that answer, and the two of them got into a rather heated argument about it. Or, really, Ko-lee was heated, and Jae was his regular apathetic self, if a touch more tense than usual. They'd only stopped when Ko-lee brought up that we'd start looking for a different seller if he continued to be stubborn about it. He folded, but there was an uncomfortable energy between the three of us for the few days after.
We also found out that there were communal grills that could be used. Instead of paying for a meal, you brought your own food - generally tower flesh - and paid for fuel based on how long you hung out. It explained why the restaurants were not nearly as busy as one might expect, as most skinners ate at a grill, and went to a bar for a drink. The communal aspect really can't be overstated as well; we generally found ourselves sat with a whole bunch of strangers, which gave us an opportunity to meet some of the people who worked the same schedule as us and lived nearby. And, of course, Ko-lee and I have also spent the last 9 days talking about our relationship; how it will work, what we do and don't want from the other person, our expectations, and so on. To some extent, we're also trying to take things slow, although at times it leaves me feeling like I'm trying to mop up an ocean.
"By the way," says Ko-lee, as she climbs into bed with me, "I've been taking a look at our finances. We could probably take tomorrow off, if we wanted." I wrap my arm around her midsection the second she's within reach, pulling her body against mine. "Hmm...," I hum in her ear, causing her to wriggle in my grasp. "I think I do want," I mutter, my other hand tracing lines up and down her neck. I feel goosebumps form underneath my fingers as I do, a small smile crossing my lips. "You know," I murmur, as my lips press gently against her neck, "I think it's pretty crazy that you're so eager to sleep with me, yet you get so embarrassed at kissing me in public." I feel her body shift as she does her best to rotate in my arms, and I lessen my grip slightly to make it easier for her. Her face is mere inches from mine, and I can't help it as my eyes dart down to her slightly parted lips before looking back into her gaze.
"There is very much a difference," she says, as she leans in for a kiss. A moment before our lips meet, I turn my head to the ceiling, causing her to kiss my cheek, while I give a look of faux consideration. "Hmmmm," I say, as she struggles to reach my lips with hers. I let it go on for a moment longer, before turning to let her have what she wants. "You're a bit of a conundrum, you know," I say, as we break for air. "What do you mean?" she asks, her expression quizzical. "You're the sort of woman that can beat me to an inch of my life, and yet, you're flustered by a bit of PDA?" I say, grinning. Her cheeks turns red at the memory, and she hides her face in the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry about that," she says, muttering. I give her a kiss on the top of her hair, repeating a meme in English. "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me," I say, before following up in Origin, "it's fine, it's not a big deal. I just like to tease." As I say this, my fingers trail down her back, slipping under her shirt, causing a quiet intake of breath.
"Anyways, you're right, we probably can take tomorrow off," I say, removing my hand from her bare skin. I feel her lips frown against my neck, and I can't help but grin. "It would be a great opportunity to go see a priest, sort out the whole 'talking to the Unum' thing," I think, as I adjust myself for sleep. "Tease," says Ko-lee, before she too, makes her own adjustments. I feel my breath start to slow, as my mind fragments into sleep, and as I drift off, I begin to feel that same something I had felt nights before. My eyes gently flick open, and I scan the room, doing my best to stay utterly still in the darkness. "Well well well," I think to myself, seeing nothing of note. "If it isn't the invisible cunt." My eyes continue to dart around the room, as I look for anything out of note, but like last time, there's nothing to see. Still, my eyes stay open as long as possible, until finally, exhaustion forces them shut.